

Timesuck with Dan Cummins
Dan Cummins
Jump down new rabbit holes with Timesuck, the weekly podcast that takes you on a fascinating and bizarre journey through history’s darkest corners, most shocking conspiracies, and wildest true stories. Hosted by acclaimed standup comedian and storyteller Dan Cummins, each episode blends dark humor with deep research to uncover hidden truths about infamous historical figures, unsolved mysteries, notorious serial killers, and more. If you crave the weird, the wild, and the unexpected, Timesuck is your next obsession!
And check out the Short Sucks, a new series of 40-60 minute episodes two Fridays a month. These bite-sized stories are perfect for when you want a quick dose of Timesuck (or need more addictive content to consume while you’re waiting for your next Timesuck!)
And check out the Short Sucks, a new series of 40-60 minute episodes two Fridays a month. These bite-sized stories are perfect for when you want a quick dose of Timesuck (or need more addictive content to consume while you’re waiting for your next Timesuck!)
Episodes
Mentioned books

Aug 13, 2018 • 2h 22min
100 - Drunk as F*#k Suck of the Axeman of New Orleans
Well, you asked for it.
We got a bunch of emails to do something special for the 100th Monday episode of TImesuck and the main request was to do Timesuck's version of Drunk History. So, the good folks from fantastic restaurant 10/six in Couer d'Alene brought over crawfish etouffee, beignets, whiskey, beer, and mixed up some hurricanes... and I got blackout drunk. I don't start out drunk - it was a steady progression. Started out buzzed for the first sixty minutes or so of the recording and then, well, things get messy. I hope you enjoy it!
In 1918 and 1919 (and also in 1910 and 1911), someone or several people terrorized, for the most part, Italian Grocers living in New Orleans with, you guessed it, an axe. Or, rather, with several axes. And razors. And even an iron bar in one incident. Someone was breaking into homes, grabbing the most terrible weapon they could find in the victim's house (usually a meat cleaver/butcher's axe), and giving citizens of New Orleans about the worst wake up call you can imagine. And authorities never figured out who did it. We examine the crimes, we take a fun look into the history of New Orleans, and my wife Lynze steps in and helps me finish the Suck I get to too drunk to complete on my own. I had a great time.
Thanks for taking us to 100 episodes Timesuckers and Space Lizards! You guys are the damn best!!!
Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/
Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v
Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :)
For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact
Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2900 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast
Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.
And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Aug 6, 2018 • 1h 41min
99 - Area 51: Secret Weapons Program or Alien Experimentation?
What actually goes on at Area 51? There are two competing narratives. One involves a series of classified Cold War projects involving covert aerial surveillance aircraft and nuclear weapons testing, and then there is the conspiracy-laden, primarily extraterrestrial-based and fascinating UFO lore. So which is it? Or, is it both? We dig into the "official" narrative based primarily on leaked CIA documents and also at conspiracies put forth by various people claiming to have witnessed what actually goes on in and around Area 51, today, on Timesuck.
Unintentionally hilarious Robert Miller Area 51 video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIxzvtmF0t4
Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/
Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v
Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :)
For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact
Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2800 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast
Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.
And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Aug 3, 2018 • 1h 38min
Bonus 25 - Werewolves: Howl at the Moon!
Werewolves! Awhoooooooo! Shape-shifting creatures of the night with unusual speed, otherworldly strength, lightning fast reflexes, and incredibly heightened senses. Monsters who can be a gentle, thoughtful human being one moment and a feral, wild bloodthirsty beast the next. Sometimes a dark creature associated with vampires and witches, and sometimes and innocent victim of a terrible curse doomed to heed the call of the moon and feast on human flesh, the werewolf has taken many forms throughout the years. Where do these tales come from? We dig into werewolf folklore and share some intense tales of werewolf trials and more today, on a monstrous Timesuck!
Timesuck is also brought to you by Leesa! We love Leesa! Get $160 off when you go to Leesa.com/timesuck
Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/
Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v
Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :)
For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact
Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2600 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast
Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.
And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Jul 30, 2018 • 1h 60min
98 - The Assassination of Lincoln: It's Crazier Than You Think
John Wilkes Booth wasn't some community theater bit player. He wasn't a bartender who did summer theater. He was one of the most famous actors of the day and a member of THE most famous acting family of the 19th century. And he killed the President. He killed the President after putting together several failed plans to kidnap the President. He was a heartthrob dubbed by some theater critics as "the most handsome man in America". Imagine Ryan Gosling or Tom Hardy trying to kill the President today. That is comparable to what Booth did. His story is fascinating! And we Suck it today!
Timesuck is brought to you today by The Great Courses Plus! Do yourself a HUGE favor and get MUCH amazing, interesting, and informative content for FREE: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/timesuck
Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/
Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v
Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :)
For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact
Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2600 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast
Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.
And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Jul 23, 2018 • 1h 46min
97 - Spartacus: When Gladiators Attacked Rome Itself
Spartacus was a Thracian gladiator who escaped his gladiatorial school in Capua with about 70 other gladiators and slaves and then led a slave rebellion against the armies of Rome in the 1st century BCE , commanding a fighting force that grew to an army of 90,000–120,000 strong. We explore his fight and the interesting history of Roman gladiatorial combat in today's Suck. Men (and women!) facing off against each other in arenas, forums, and coliseums in fights that often lasted until severe injury or the death. Insane emperors, trident-wielding warriors, spear-wielding elephants, and so much more in today's tale of Roman debauchery and the man who almost took down a Republic.
My new free Behind the Bit Pandora station with Chad Daniels talking about our favorite bits! https://www.pandora.com/station/play/3978690913982414208?ag=17920720304261509
Timesuck is brought to you today by The Great Courses Plus! Do yourself a HUGE favor and get SO MUCH amazing, interesting, and informative content for FREE: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/timesuck
Timesuck is also brought to you by HIMS! Get a trial month of everything you need to keep your hair - for just $5 today, right now while supplies last, by going to https://www.forhims.com/timesuck
Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/
Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v
Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :)
For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact
Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2600 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast
Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.
And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Jul 16, 2018 • 1h 42min
96 - Pennhurst State Hospital: Pennsylvania's Dirty Secret
Billed now as the Pennhurst Haunted Asylum, Pennhurst was never an asylum. It wasn't a home for the mentally ill when it first opened its doors in 1908. It was a home for epileptics and the intellectually disabled, then called "idiotic" and "feeble-minded". And then it became a home for basically everyone society either didn't want to take care of or didn't know how to take care of. And it soon became severely overcrowded. And then it became both overcrowded and underfunded. And then it became a nightmare for it's "children" (the term its patients were given, whether they were six months old or sixty). Understaffing lead to squalid conditions where people were living and dying covered in their own feces and in wounds given to them by either themselves, other patients, or, in some cases, staff members.
The government, after numerous lawsuits, shut Pennhurst down for good in 1987. And today, we look at why things got so bad they felt compelled to do so. And, we examine life for the mentally handicapped today in America. Have things gotten any better? What, as a society and culture, are we supposed to do for and with those who can do for themselves? How do we take care of each other? A lot of hard questions are asked in a thought-provoking edition of Timesuck.
My new free Behind the Bit Pandora station with Chad Daniels talking about our favorite bits! https://www.pandora.com/station/play/3978690913982414208?ag=17920720304261509
Timesuck is brought to you today by The Great Courses Plus! Do yourself a HUGE favor and get a month of SO MUCH amazing, interesting, and informative content for FREE: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/timesuck
Timesuck is also brought to you be Leesa! We love Leesa! Get $160 off when you go to Leesa.com/timesuck
Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/
Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v
Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :)
For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact
Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2500 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast
Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.
And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Jul 13, 2018 • 1h 54min
Bonus 24 - The Toy Box Killer: New Mexico's Satanic Sadist
WARNING/DISCLAIMER: This is the most disturbing episode of Timesuck thus far. To the point I considered not releasing it. Maybe it just hit me unusually hard for some reason but the crime scene details are very sexually explicit and haunting. If descriptions of sexual torture trigger you in any way, sit this one out!
David Parker Ray, the Toy Box Killer, kidnapped, sexually tortured, and possibly murdered an untold amount of women in the American Southwest in the 1990s (and maybe even earlier than this). We'll never know the full extent of the violence and damage he spread. We do know he created a $100,000 "Toy Box" - a customized metal trailer equipped with a gynecologist's chair, and homemade "sex toys" designed to cut, electrocute, tear, pierce, penetrate, and sodomize victims confined to his trailer with shackles and a metal collar. We know he raped his victims, that his accomplices raped his victims, and that he even forced victims to engage in bestiality. He recorded much of what he did on video. He led a small, Satanic sex cult in the otherwise sleepy, lakeside community of Elephant Butte, NM. He recorded and played a horrific BDSM sexual orientation tape to be played for victims he kidnapped and drugged describing in excruciating detail the horrors that awaited them in the days ahead. The tale of the Toy Box Killer reads like something out of an Eli Roth torture porn script. And we peek into this preposterous darkness in this you never really know what's going on in your neighborhood, fear the darkness edition of Timesuck.
My new free Behind the Bit Pandora station with Chad Daniels talking about our favorite bits! https://www.pandora.com/station/play/3978690913982414208?ag=17920720304261509
Timesuck is brought to you today by The Great Courses Plus! Do yourself a HUGE favor and get a month of SO MUCH amazing, interesting, and informative content for FREE: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/timesuck
Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/
Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v
Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :)
For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact
Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2500 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast
Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.
And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Jul 9, 2018 • 1h 42min
95 - Pancho MFN' Villa: Mexico's Robin Hood
Pancho Villa! Pancho Villa was a revolutionary fighter who despised the wealthy landowners who had subjugated the impoverished farming class, comprised of mostly indigenous people, since long before he was born. He stole from the rich and gave to the poor. He also stole from the rich to fuel the various wars he fought in, all of which had the same goal - to topple Mexico’s existing power structure and redistribute the wealth the upper 1% possessed amongst the poor. He was one of the world’s first movie stars, and he wasn’t an actor. In a way, he was the world’s first reality TV star, because at one point he allowed actual battles he fought in to be filmed. And we’re gonna learn all about him, and a lot about Mexico along the way, in another power to the people edition of Timesuck
Want to help Harmony Vellekamp? She's dealing with another high risk pregnancy and can use any help you'd like to offer! https://www.gofundme.com/5s6lkf4
My new free Behind the Bit Pandora station with Chad Daniels talking about our favorite bits! https://www.pandora.com/station/play/3978690913982414208?ag=17920720304261509
Timesuck is also brought to you The Great Courses Plus! Do yourself a HUGE favor and get a month of SO MUCH amazing, interesting, and informative content for FREE: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/timesuck
Timesuck is brought to you be Leesa! We love Leesa! Get $160 off when you go to Leesa.com/timesuck
Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/
Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v
Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :)
For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact
Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2500 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast
Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.
And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Jul 2, 2018 • 1h 44min
94 - The Donner Party: Cannibalism, Cholera, and More Horribleness
The story of the Donner Party is one of the most disturbing tales of western migration during the time of Manifest Destiny, the common 19th-century belief that the United States was destined to expand across the entire continent from the Atlantic to the Pacific Ocean. Well, the destiny of many of the members of the Donner Party was to spread their actual bones around a frozen Sierra Nevada mountain camp as they were eaten by other members of their party. That's what they manifested. Theirs is a fascinating tale of bad decisions that led to much worse decisions that led to, well, cannibalism. Learn about their tragic journey and also about life for settlers as they traveled West in the mid-19th century, today on Timesuck!
NOTE: Working through some volume issues as we make changes. Sorry!
My new free Behind the Bit Pandora station with Chad Daniels talking about our favorite bits! https://www.pandora.com/station/play/3978690913982414208?ag=17920720304261509
Timesuck is brought to you today by AmeriGas! Go to MyTimeSuckGrill.com between now and July 4th and enter your name and email to register to win a free Weber Spirt II – E 210 grill ($400 value).
Timesuck is brought to you be Leesa! We love Leesa! Get $160 off when you go to Leesa.com/timesuck
Timesuck is also brought to you The Great Courses Plus! Do yourself a HUGE favor and get a month of SO MUCH amazing, interesting, and informative content for FREE: https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/timesuck
Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/
Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v
Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :)
For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact
Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2500 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast
Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.
And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Jun 25, 2018 • 2h
93 - The Aztec Empire: So Much Human Sacrifice!
Today we’re talking about the Aztecs! The Aztecs built a vast empire, one that outpaced, out-staged, and out-populated the likes of Paris at the time. They were a powerhouse warrior based society with an interesting obsession with human sacrifice. When did they show up? When did they build their empire? And what happened when the Spaniard Hernan Cortes showed up with 400 soldiers? An amazing city built on a lake, a prophecy falsely fulfilled, the worst ball game ever played, and a lot of violent death at the hands of all the teams involved in today's Timesuck!
My new free Behind the Bit Pandora station with Chad Daniels talking about our favorite bits! https://www.pandora.com/station/play/3978690913982414208?ag=17920720304261509
Timesuck is brought to you today by AmeriGas! Go to MyTimeSuckGrill.com between now and July 4th and enter your name and email to register to win a free Weber Spirt II – E 210 grill ($400 value).
Timesuck is brought to you be Leesa! We love Leesa! Get $160 off when you go to Leesa.com/timesuck
Timesuck is also brought to you by Hims! Get everything you need to keep your hair for just $5 while supplies last. And so much more! Head to forhims.com/timesuck
Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/
Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v
Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :)
For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact
Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast
Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 2500 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast
Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.
And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com