

Where Do We Go From Here?
Jessica Van Der Wyngaard
A weekly podcast deconstructing purity culture, sex and other real life stuff for thoughtful Christians and exvangelicals alike.
Episodes
Mentioned books
May 11, 2023 • 46min
126: The Recent Allegations Against Mike Pilavachi
Trigger Warning: This episode contains references to spiritual, religious, and sexual abuse. Please proceed with caution. What do we do when a spiritual hero is accused of abusive practices? Jess and Devi were both impacted by Soul Survivor founder, the Rev Canon Mike Pilavachi, and in this raw and real episode, they process the recent news about the investigation the Church of England announced. Want more? This week's partner-only episode of Purity Culture News & Views has the latest updates on the situation with Mike Pilavachi as well as more on how to deal with news about fallen Christian leaders. Sign up for $3/month to get it as well as romcom recaps and a ticket to the Big Debrief. Full show notes here

May 4, 2023 • 1h 8min
125: Revisiting "The Sex Talk" with Jess' mum
At some point in childhood you first learnt about sex. This might have been in the form of "the sex talk" from your parents. Or you might have heard it elsewhere. In this episode we reflect on that sex talk from parents and from a parent and child's perspective. Join Jessica and her mum Caren for this special discussion between a mother and daughter around the sex talk. What do we remember about that? What was said? What should be said? What would we do differently? Our Instagram community also had a lot to share on this topic! Jessica shares their thoughts across these questions as well. See show note links HERE.

Apr 25, 2023 • 44min
124: The Big Debrief
Ever wonder what it's like to gather with a group of strangers to talk about purity culture? Our partners get to experience it every month in The Big Debrief. And now you get to listen in. In this episode you get a taste of the warmth, wisdom, and fun that's in our monthly zoom conversations. Join us this month on April 27 (in the US) at 9pm EST and April 28 (in Australia) at 11am to talk about all the things.
Apr 19, 2023 • 1h 14min
123: Making (Grownup) Friends Is Hard To Do
Join us for an insightful discussion with Laura Tremaine, author of The Life Council, as we explore the challenges of making and keeping friends in adulthood. From busy schedules to changes in life stage, we uncover the top reasons why building meaningful connections as grown-ups can be tough, and share practical tips to overcome them. Full show notes here Partner with us to hear a conversation with journalist Bekah McNeel, author of Bringing Up Kids When The Church Let's You Down. Partners get romcom recaps and Purity Culture News & Views plus a ticket to the Big Debrief. Laura Tremaine is a writer, avid reader, and enthusiastic podcaster. She is the creator and host of the podcast "10 Things To Tell You." She is also the author of Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. (published February 2021), and her second book The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs publishes April 2023. Laura lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two children. Follow Laura on Facebook & Instagram

Apr 17, 2023 • 19min
(SNEAK PEAK) The Trials and Triumphs of 'Bridget Jones' Diary'
In this episode for our partners, we delve into the ups and downs of Bridget Jones' Diary. From its charming wit and relatable protagonist to its problematic themes, fat phobia, and single-shaming, we take a critical look at this iconic piece of chick-lit and explore its lasting impact on pop culture and female representation. Want to hear the rest? Join us in patreon for $3/month (USD).

Apr 12, 2023 • 17min
(SNEAK PEAK) Bekah McNeel Tells the Story About White Evangelicals and Parenting
We delve into the world of Evangelical parenting with journalist Bekah McNeel. From perfectionism to purity culture, we uncover the the impact of Evangelical parenting on children's emotional, mental, and spiritual development. This is a sneak peak but you can listen to the full conversation when you partner with us for $3/month (USD). You'll also get Purity Culture News & Views, a romcom recap, and a ticket to the Big Debrief where you can share your thoughts with other like minded people. Bekah McNeel is a journalist, wife, and mother of two. She's the author of Bringing Up Kids When The Church Let's You Down. Her work has appeared in Christianity Today, Sojourners, Relevant, The Texas Tribune, ESPN's The Undefeated, The Christian Science Monitor, Texas Public Radio, and elsewhere. In addition to pieces about parenting, she writes about education, immigration, and faith communities-as well as the occasional op-ed calling the American evangelical church to lay down its idols of White supremacy and patriarchy. Connect with Bekah on Twitter and Instagram
Apr 5, 2023 • 1h 20min
122: Rehumanizing Men
Trigger warning: this episode contains a short discussion of childhood sexual abuse. Please proceed with caution. Purity Culture was bad for men, too. In this episode Zachary Wagner joins us to share his story combined with his theological study on how to build a non-toxic masculinity. We discuss: how purity culture dehumanized men growing up from boys to adult men strategies to help you grow Full show notes here (plus a transcript!) Partner with us for $3/month (USD) to listen to this week's Purity Culture News & Views episode on Hillsong's latest legal battle in Australia. Plus we talk about the Apple+ show Shrinking and more. Zachary Wagner is an ordained minister and a DPhil (PhD) candidate in New Testament at the University of Oxford. He also serves as the editorial director of the Center for Pastor Theologians. Zach's academic research focuses on the concept of reward in the Letters of Paul and Matthew's Gospel. HIs first book, Non-Toxic Masculinity: Recovering Healthy Male Sexuality is being released with IVP in April, 2023. Zach lives in Oxford, England with his wife and three children. Follow Zach on Twitter
Mar 22, 2023 • 1h 16min
(121) Like A Virgin: The Story Evangelicals Told About Virginity
This episode is for all the people who were told your virginity was the most important thing about you. In this episode, we get into the meaning of virginity to evangelicals, the history, what we were told the Bible says, what the Bible actually says, and of course, we talk about where we can go from here. Full show notes here Join us for $3/month (USD) to get the full conversations with historian Sara Moslener and biblical scholar Karen Keen as well as romcom recaps, purity culuture news & views, and a ticket to the Big Debrief. Connect with us on Instagram and Twitter Sara Moslener is a lecturer in the Department of Philosophy, Anthropology, and Religion at Central Michigan University where she teaches courses on the history of religious and racial discrimination in the United States. She has been studying evangelical purity culture for over 15 years and has numerous publications including the book Virgin Nation: Sexual Purity and American Adolescence (Oxford University Press: 2015) which demonstrates how sexual purity campaigns and rhetoric have been used by white Protestants since the 19th century to obtain greater political power and cultural influence. Follow Sara on Twitter. Karen R. Keen is a biblical scholar and spiritual care provider at The Redwood Center for Spiritual Care and Education. She works to make scholarship accessible to lay leaders and the public, particularly as it relates to the intersection of Scripture, faith, and culture. Karen has taught biblical and theological studies in both academic and church settings. Trained as a spiritual director in the Ignatian tradition, she also provides spiritual care through groups and retreats. Karen is the author of The Jesus Way: Practicing the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises, Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same-Sex Relationships, and The Word of a Humble God: The Origins, Inspiration, and Interpretation of Scripture. She is currently working on a book to be released in 2024 on sex and the Christian life. Karen earned her M.S. in education (counseling) from Western Oregon University, M.A. in exegetical theology from Western Seminary, and Th.M. in biblical studies from Duke Divinity School. Follow Karen on Twitter.

Mar 16, 2023 • 17min
(SNEAK PEAK) Can You Peel An Apple In One Long Curl?
In this partner-only episode, we're dusting off our VHS tapes (or maybe just streaming it online) and rewatching the classic rom-com, Sleepless in Seattle. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan stole our hearts in this movie over 25 years ago, but how does it hold up in 2023? Is it still as charming and romantic as we remember, or does it feel dated and cheesy? Grab your tissues and your apple peeler, and join us for this hilarious and heartwarming trip down memory lane. Who knows, you may even fall in love with Sleepless in Seattle all over again. Partners get this episode plus a ticket to the Big Debrief next week on zoom! Join us to chat about all the things, and get our entire back catalogue of episodes and new weekly podcast episodes about purity culture news and views, exclusive guest interviews, and more. Get it for $3/month (USD)
Mar 8, 2023 • 1h 16min
120: Ephesians 5 Gone Wrong in the Latest Evangelical Take on Sex
If you thought bad evangelical sex books were a thing of the 80s and 90s, guess again. Last week The Gospel Coalition lit the interwebs on fire by publishing an excerpt from an upcoming book by one of their (now former) fellows. This conversation untangles the sloppy reading of Ephesians 5, disturbing Roman Catholic roots, and what happens when we misuse biblical metaphors. Partner with us for $3/month to join us for The Big Debrief, a zoom call where we discuss all the things you heard in this episode and more. You also get romcom recaps, Purity Culture News & Views, and special partner-only episodes. Full show notes here Amy Peeler is Associate Professor of New Testament at Wheaton College and Associate Rector at St. Mark's Episcopal Church in Geneva, IL. She is author of Women and the Gender of God (Eerdmans, 2022), You Are My Son": The Family of God in the Epistle to the Hebrews (T&T Clark, 2014), and co-author with Patrick Gray of Hebrews: An Introduction and Study Guide (T&T Clark, 2020). Follow Amy on Twitter. Rebekah Mui is a PhD student researching empire, Christian anarcho-pacifism, and postcolonial Anabaptism at Virginia Tech. As editor of KingdomOutpost.org, she engages Anabaptist thought with issues like Christian nationalism and patriarchal abuses in the wider Christian world. Read Rebekah's work at: Part 1: Lust, Love and the Doctrine of Two Kingdoms, Part 2: The Violence of Lust and Pornography Part 3: Sexual Sin, Purity, and Bearing One Another's Burdens. Follow Rebekah on Twitter Andrew T. Draper (PhD, University of Aberdeen) is founding teaching pastor at Urban Light Community Church and the author of A Theology of Race and Place, co-author of Disabling Leadership, editor of Christian Mission and Poverty, and has authored numerous articles on race, disability, and the church, including contributing a chapter to Can "White" People Be Saved? Follow Andrew on Twitter Christy Hemphill is an educator trained in linguistics who supports minority language Scripture translation, literacy, and language development efforts in Indigenous communities in Southern Mexico with SIL. She is currently working on an editorial team that is developing a translators' resource for identifying conceptual metaphors implicit in the figurative language of the Psalms. Follow Christy on Twitter Bekah Mason (ThM, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) has spent much of her adult life advocating for those on the margins of the church—sexual and racial minorities, foster and adoptive families, and abuse survivors. She is currently the Executive Director of Revoice and a founding member of The Pelican Project, and lives with her two kids and an absurd number of pets in Chattanooga, TN. Follow Bekah on Twitter.


