Where Do We Go From Here?

Jessica Van Der Wyngaard
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May 27, 2020 • 46min

22: I Wasn't Straight, but I Also Wasn't Gay

It's our first episode about queer Christianity, and Jenna De Witt joins us to talk about aromantic asexuality. We talk about what it's been like for her to navigate a church life and secular life that assumes everyone is sexually attracted to someone, and Jenna shares her calling with us for asexual people to know that they aren't alone. Full show notes here Join our conversation on Twitter and Instagram For $3/month you can get uncut interviews AND episodes of The Jess & Devi Show Jenna DeWitt is an aromantic asexual Methodist. She spent a decade writing and editing in Christian media, and now edits a wide variety of publications from tech support to books to articles to curriculum. She holds a bachelor of arts in journalism from Baylor University. She's originally from a small town near the border of Eastern New Mexico and the West Texas Panhandle, but now she lives in sunny Southern California, where she co-leads the LGBTQIA+ social group at her company. You can read her blog, Invisible Cake Society, and find her on Twitter at @Jenna_DeWitt for more on aromantic asexual advocacy within the church, singleness, mental health, and feminist pop music.
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May 20, 2020 • 31min

21: Elsa, Anna, and the Princesses of 2020

Listen in to this lighthearted chat about Frozen 2 and the evolution of Disney princesses. Yes, we are heading into the unknown with Elsa, Anna, Olaf, and Christoph, but fear not - Elsa's in charge. And if all else fails, Anna will show us how to do the next right thing while Christoph is lost in the woods. What does Frozen 2 say about women in leadership, male and female relationships, and dealing with our past? Listen now to find out what Jess and Devi think. Download now to get the full conversation, don't forget to subscribe. Full show notes here Join the conversation on Instagram & Twitter Get episodes of The Jess & Devi Show by becoming our partner today
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May 13, 2020 • 53min

20: Don't Use Faith to Bypass the Body

We promised to bring you new tools for the toolkit of your life, and this episode? It's HUGE. Remember how we grew up with the narrative that every time we blew up at someone, the times we felt frustrated in traffic, when we withdrew into ourselves, that all of that was bad because somehow sin was eating us up inside? Listen to this episode and hear how our body is leading us to truth, to God. Listen to this episode to remind yourself again that your body gives you cues, and those cues are good, an essential way of learning what you need to do, a way of acquiring wisdom. Listen to this episode to remember that God made your body, and it was never supposed to be bypassed by spirituality. Our body is one tool that helps us back to God, and we need our body to understand our sexual selves. Full Episode Show Notes Here Hear more from our interview with Aundi only as a partner for $3/month. And you get access to more expert interviews and episodes of The Jess & Devi Show. Join our conversation on Instagram and Twitter Our guide today is Aundi Kolber, a licensed professional counselor (MA, LPC), an author, and a speaker living in Castle Rock, Colorado. She has received additional training in her specialization of trauma- and body-centered therapies and is passionate about the integration of faith and psychology. She has written for Relevant, CT Women, and (in)courage. As a survivor of trauma, Aundi brings hard-won knowledge about the work of change, the power of redemption, and the beauty of experiencing God with us in our pain. Her first book Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us Out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy. You can follow Aundi on Instagram and Twitter
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May 6, 2020 • 51min

19: Quitting Porn

You've heard the reasons why Christian men quit porn, but in continuing this conversation, we wanted to hear from someone outside the evangelical bubble. Coach Leo Tabibzadegan is not a Christian, but he decided to quit porn and masturbation and now coaches other men to do the same. Leo tells us how he used porn in the past, why he quit, and how quitting impacted his life. We also talk about the ways he coaches men to make similar changes to their lives. We cover: the desire for freedom and connection the power of self-improvement messaging the way porn desensitizes users why self awareness and self regulation are key to recovery how Christians separate the mind and the body and how that harms us Connect with Leo on YouTube, Twitter, and Instagram. Find the full episode show notes here Join our conversation on Twitter and Instagram. Partner with us for $3/month you get uncut interviews with our guests AND episodes of The Jess & Devi Show.
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Apr 29, 2020 • 58min

18: Are Evangelicals 'Addicted to Lust'?

This episode is for anyone who wants to better understand how pornography impacts evangelicals. We know what we say in public: porn is sin, it leads to destruction, and it harms marriages and families. But we also know evangelical men and women still view porn. Does pornography have unique significance for conservative Protestants? Dr. Samuel Perry, a sociologist, says yes. He studied pornography in the lives of conservative Protestants in the United States for over four years, and his findings are published in his book Addicted to Lust, which we discuss in this episode. We cover the following topics: the impact of moral incongruence on evangelicals how complementarian theology justifies male porn use the unique impact of porn on evangelical women the difference in how evangelicals handle masturbation and pornography Samuel L. Perry is an Assistant Professor of Sociology and Religious Studies at the University of Oklahoma. He holds a Ph.D. in Sociology from the University of Chicago and a Th.M. in New Testament Studies from Dallas Theological Seminary. His research explores the changing dynamics of religion, politics, race, sex, and family life in the United States. The author of numerous peer-reviewed articles, Sam has also written three books, one of which is Addicted to Lust: Pornography in the Lives of Conservative Protestants. He has also recently co-authored a book on the rise of Christian nationalism in the US . You can connect with Sam on Twitter Full episode show notes here Join the conversation with us on Twitter and Instagram
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Apr 22, 2020 • 59min

17: Sex Is For Wives, Too

If you've heard that men have an innate, not-understandable need for sex, popular author Sheila Gregoire disagrees. She says, "the most deprived people in the bedroom are wives." This episode will show you the way Christian sex books undermine a woman's sexual agency and a woman's sexual needs. There's another way, and we get into it. This episode is for adults only. We talk about: the books Love & Respect and The Act of Marriage How husbands can serve their wives How women can draw boundaries in their marriage What sexual fulfilment really is Vaginismus Obligation sex messages Fundamentalist ideas about sex and marriage Full episode show notes here Partner with us for $3/month and hear uncut interviews AND The Jess & Devi Show. Join our conversation on Instagram and Twitter Connect with Sheila on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook
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Apr 22, 2020 • 57min

16: Read Better Books

Are you tired of Christian living books and the simple answers they provide for the problems of life? Dr. Karen Swallow Prior joins us in this episode to talk about the way reading forms us, and how reading better books helps us become better thinkers and better agents of change in our culture and community. This episode is for you if you want to think deeper and need help figuring out what steps should come next. We talk about: The problems with Christian living books The difference between information and formation What impact does bad reading habits have on reading the Bible Tips for what books to read Tips for how to read once you get started For all of Dr. Prior's book recommendations and for the links to her books, go to our full show notes. Connect with Dr. Karen Swallow Prior on Twitter and Instagram Join our conversation on Twitter and Instagram Partner with us for $3/month to hear uncut interviews with our guests AND episodes of The Jess & Devi Show.
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Apr 22, 2020 • 34min

15: Covid Catchup

When we ended season 1, who knew that in mid April we would have been mostly at home without the same social structures we were used to? That's why we are starting off with a Covid Catch Up. How is everyone holding up after a month or more of self isolation and quarantine? We talk about what life is like with minimal touch and minimal social interactions as well as update you on what's happening in our lives. Lindsey Kaye is figuring out what it means to do what she can, one day at a time. Devi is digital schooling her kids and getting a second chance at motherhood. Jess restarted DOCSology and is helping churches move services online, and she's got some big personal news. Watch this episode here Full show notes here Join the conversation on Instagram & Twitter Partner with us for $3/month to hear uncut interviews AND get episodes of The Jess & Devi Show
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Mar 19, 2020 • 34min

14: What's Next For Us

This episode is for you if you want to know more about where we are at as a community. We talk about your thoughts on premarital sex, porn, app dating, and same-sex relationships as we wrap up our first season untangling sexual ethics together. Join the conversation on Instagram and Twitter. Full Show Notes Here Partner with us for $3/month to hear uncut interviews with guests AND get episodes of The Jess & Devi Show.
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Mar 4, 2020 • 37min

13: Sex and Dating in Culture

The finale for Netflix's reality show Love is Blind aired last week, and whether you know who Cameron and Lauren are, whatever you think of Jessica, or if you think reality dating shows are silly, there's something in our conversation for you. Listen in as Jess and Devi talk about what reality TV shows say about our culture when it comes to romance, dating, and marriage. More and more people are watching reality romance, and we ask why. We talk about what our culture says: You're either not married or you're on your way to marriage. We believe those are false choices. Life is more complex and beautiful than fits into these neat categories. Listen in to hear more. Later on in the show, we talk about what's coming up in season 2 of our podcast, and we need your help. Devi also shares about how she met her husband and their long-distance relationship pre-Skype. Full show notes here Join the conversation on Instagram and Twitter Partner with us for $3/month to hear uncut interviews with guests AND get episodes of The Jess & Devi Show.

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