Darby Fox, author of Rethinking Your Teenager, joins us to discuss how we can implement discipline without falling into negative cycles with our kids. We also talk about how why we should rethink the sex talk and the importance of teaching kids kindness.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesWe all know what it’s like to get caught in a negative cycle with our kids. They break the rules, we crack down, they retaliate, then the whole thing happens over and over again. All we want is to keep the peace, but it feels impossible when teens constantly test our boundaries and nerves!The truth is, it’s not easy to implement discipline and still maintain a positive relationship with teens. We want to set rules, but we don’t want teens to think we’re suspicious of them. We want to maintain authority without being a tyrant. How can we keep our close bond with teens while enforcing the rules?To find out, we’re talking to Darby Fox, author of Rethinking Your Teenager: Shifting from Control and Conflict to Structure and Nurture to Raise Accountable Young Adults. Darby is a child and adolescent family psychologist with a private practice in Connecticut. She has over 20 years of experience working with families, and is here to help us take a new approach to our communication with teens.In our interview, Darby and I are discussing why we need to understand our kids’ mindsets, why parents should rethink the sex talk, and how we can enforce discipline without sacrificing our relationship with our kids.Understanding the Teenage MindsetAs parents, we have dreams and goals for our kids. We hope they'll get great grades, go to a prestigious university,  become successful adults and live happily ever after. It can be terrifying when we feel like they’re straying onto the wrong path–and our fear can lead us to say some things we regret. We tell them we’re disappointed, that this isn’t how we raised them, and that they should know better….but this only seems to make both teens and parents feel worse in the end.Instead, Darby suggests that we try to get into teens’ heads to figure out what’s motivating their behavior. She recommends that we stop looking for solutions to whatever problem teens are having, and instead talk to them about what’s causing the problem. Finding out teens’ motivations, fears, worries, and thoughts can open up the door to some great, productive conversations about their behavior, she says, instead of just shutting them down by scolding or yelling.Teen’s brains are still developing, and this means that they’re often driven towards short-term gratification and excitement. They’re not trying to get themselves into a bad spot, they just want fun and novelty, says Darby. If we really want them to make good choices, we might just have to let them make bad ones, she says. While we can spend all day telling teens why they shouldn’t drink, it might not stop them from blacking out and crawling home. When they do, Darby recommends that instead of shaming them, we sit down with them and help them break down what happened. This might help them rethink the situation, and whether or not they really want to touch alcohol again for a while, Darby says. She believes parents should behave like gutters in a bowling alley–there in case things go off their intended path.Of all the tough conversations parents have to have with kids, the sex talk might be the most awkward. In our interview, Darby and I are talking about how you can take a more accepting approach to “the talk.”Rethinking The Sex TalkDarby’s first recommendation for parents heading into a sex talk is to be direct. There’s often a lot of hemming and hawing about what we should and shouldn’t tell kids, if we should shelter them or avoid specific topics. But if we’re just honest and open, the talk can be a lot more effective, she says. She even recommends asking about what’s been going on at school–if they’ve been hearing about what other kids are doing and what they think about it.Sometimes teens’ feeling about sex can be layered. They might feel a social pressure to start before they’re ready, or a need to seek validation from others that might result in promiscuous behavior. Maybe they have questions that they feel like they’re not able to ask anyone, and this can lead them to feel isolated. All this can make having the talk even harder–but also more essential, says Darby.When you’re dishing out information to teens, Darby says it's ok if they don’t respond, or run away cringing after. What’s most important is that they listened and received the information, she says. In the episode, we talk about what topics we should emphasize in the talk, including adolescent identity formation, how to notice red flags in potential partners, and possible gendered differences when it comes to first love.To wrap up our conversation, Darby and I are talking about discipline, and how some parents set their kids up to fail by disciplining too much or too little. Plus, the importance of mutual respect when communicating with kids.The Key to Effective DisciplineWhen kids are pushing our buttons, it's easy to let our emotions escalate. But when we’re yelling and pointing fingers, we aren’t really our best selves, says Darby. It’s important to stay somewhat neutral, or at least not let our emotions get the better of us when teens are exhibiting triggering behavior. Darby recommends that we pause when we feel ourselves getting riled up, and take a minute to ask ourselves why we’re feeling so emotional.When you do lose your temper, Darby recommends taking a second to apologize. Parents aren’t perfect, and it's ok to acknowledge that, she says. It can help to remind teens that you might not agree with them, but you still trust them and understand their way of thinking. Darby explains that a parent-child relationship requires mutual respect, just like any other relationship.Modeling manners and respect can actually be critical to helping kids develop healthy self-esteem, says Darby. Although most parents aim to teach their kids the value of kindness in a small way, Darby says this should actually be a major priority. Helping kids realize that they're not the center of the universe is essential if we want them to grow up with a sense of selflessness. When they help others, they also build up their own self worth, all while making the world a better place.In The Episode…Darby shares so much wisdom with us in this week’s interview. On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:How we can change the conversation around substancesWhy we shouldn’t compare ourselves to other parentsHow we can approach the topic of divorceWhat to do when teens get a bad gradeIf you enjoyed this episode, you can find more from Darby on her website, darbyfox.com, or on twitter @askdarbyfox. Thanks for listening, and don’t forget to share and subscribe! We’ll see you next week. Sponsored by Equip:

Tamara Raymond, author of Careering,  joins us to discuss how teens can get a head start on career development while they’re still in high school. We talk about how teens can build a professional network, find their passion, and handle the job application process.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesTeens these days are expected to have everything figured out by the time they finish high school–which is a nearly impossible task. Even though they're only taking their first wobbly steps into maturity, it seems like they’ve got to have their college major, future career and financial life plan all worked out by the time they turn 18!Needless to say, they’re going to need a lot of help if they’re going to make it out there in the real world. As parents, we want to assist our kids as they transition into adulthood–so how can we help teens start making smart career decisions when they’re still living under our roofs? Is there a way we can prepare them to go into adult life with their best foot forward?That’s what we’re asking Tamara Raymond, author of Careering: The Pocket Guide to Exploring Your Future Career. Tamara is a certified leadership coach and career strategist with over 15 years of experience helping people become their best selves! Today, she’s helping us see how teens can get a headstart on career development before they reach adulthood.In our interview, we’re covering how teens can start  discovering their passions and how they can build a professional network with resources they already have! Plus, how parents can guide teens through job and internship applications–and help them handle rejection.Finding Passion and PurposeTo find out what they’re passionate about, Tamara recommends teens try anything and everything. Luckily, high school is the perfect time to do so! Signing up for lots of extracurriculars and activities is a good way to start figuring out where their purpose lies.Plenty of kids pick extracurriculars with the singular goal of getting into college, only to find themselves transferring schools or changing their major three times once they get in. While this isn’t inherently bad, it can cost a lot of time and money, says Tamara. High school gives teens more wiggle room to try on different potential career paths and see what fits, she explains.In the episode, Tamara and I talk about a concept called “indepent study,” in which teens can explore their interests on their own outside of school. If a teen is interested in learning a language, working with animals, or developing a skill, high school is a great time for teens to create their own “program” and dive into these topics  on their own time.Volunteering is another good way to not only get experience for a first resume, but also try out different possible career opportunities, Tamara explains. Teens can try volunteering at an animal clinic, at the local hospital, or even serving food nearby to see if they’re interested in one of those fields. They’ll never know until they try, Tamara says.When teens get involved in their interests outside of school, this often creates space for a mentor to enter the picture. Tamara and I are talking about how teens can find mentorship or even develop a professional network while they’re still in high school.Building a NetworkCreating a professional network doesn't have to include fancy conventions or Linkedin–it can start within your own family, Tamara explains. If teens reach out to uncles, aunts, cousins or family friends, they might find that there are plenty of interesting connections to be made. Maybe an aunt knows someone who works in radio, or a cousin heard about an internship program for aspiring designers. Whatever their interest, teens might be surprised to find out how many connections are already available to them, says Tamara.She also recommends that if teens are taking part in extracurricular and volunteer opportunities, that they make time to talk to those around them. These people can offer great insights or advice about life, or even help teens get a job one day. If teens are able to score an internship or entry-level job at a company they hope to work for one day, building a network there should be one of their biggest priorities. That way, if they ever return, they’ll already have relationships in the organization, Tamara explains.The internet can also be a powerful tool, particularly social media, says Tamara. Although we often see the negative side of social media, there can be benefits as well, if it’s used right, she says.  Teens should make sure to watch what they post however, as certain comments might get them in trouble in the future, she warns. There are plenty of examples of this among celebrities, and teens might learn a lesson or two about posting impulsively from paying attention to these stories in the news.As teens get older, they’ll find themselves applying for more and more things, including jobs, interviews, scholarships or even colleges. Tamara and I are talking about how you can guide teens through tough application processes and even help them face rejection.Facing the Application ProcessThe job search process has changed over time, and continues to change, Tamara says. Gone are the days of simply waltzing in and handing over a resume–most applications, networking, and job opportunities are online now. This can come with a whole host of new problems, says Tamara. Zoom interviews can be troubled by bad connections, background noise or technical problems. Emails can be full of typos, scheduling apps can get confusing, and the internet can simply be less personal. Kids are up against all of these problems as they move into the professional world, but Tamara’s got some tips for handling it.The most important tip for handling the world of digital mix ups? Just be honest, says Tamara. If teens are having problems with Zoom, they shouldn’t ignore it, but instead acknowledge it. Talking about these problems can be a good way to help teens be present in the moment, instead of tense or scared or making mistakes. In the episode, Tamara shares the story of a time when her stomach wouldn’t stop growling in an interview, but acknowledging it actually helped her get the job.How can parents help? Tamara says pushing teens to leave their comfort zone can be a start. Teens might not always be quick to believe in themselves, and that’s where they need parents to step in and provide some encouragement.Tamara also recommends that we create an aura of fun around the process instead of turning up the pressure. Teens are likely going to face a lot of rejection, and a light-hearted approach will help them bounce back when things get tough. In the episode Tamara and I talk more about how you can help teens handle the sting of rejection.In the Episode…Tamara has plenty of helpful career advice, no matter where your teen is at in their journey. On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:Why teens should double check their reference letter...

Chantel Prat, author of The Neuroscience of You, joins us to talk about how every brain is unique. We discuss the left and right brain, how to use psychology to motivate teenagers, and why every teen has a different way of thinking.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesWe all think differently–it's what makes our world so wonderful to live in. We each have unique opinions, perspectives and ideas to bring to the table!We often chalk up these differences to our individual upbringings or life experiences–but what if there are fundamental structural differences within each of our brains that change the way we think? What if our brains aren’t one size fits all?These are the questions we’re attempting to answer this week in our interview with Chantel Prat. Chantel is a cognitive neuroscientist, internationally renowned speaker and professor at the University of Washington! She’s joining us today to discuss some powerful ideas from her new book, The Neuroscience of You: How Every Brain is Different and How to Understand Yours.In our interview, Chantel and I are breaking down how the left and right hemispheres of our brains affect our behavior differently. We’re also discussing why some teens are motivated by reward, and others by punishment. Plus, how each person’s brain operates in a unique way and why it matters.Left Brain vs. Right BrainYou may have heard that the left brain is more analytical, while the right brain is more creative. While this is an interesting idea, it’s not totally backed by science, Chantel explains. There are differences between the function of the two hemispheres, but they aren’t as simple as one might think. In the episode, Chantel and I are discussing the existing research about the differences between the left and right sides of the brain.One study examined people who lost the tie between the two hemispheres, meaning that each could be studied individually, says Chantel. The researchers asked the participants of the study to draw a picture based on a prompt, and found out that the right brain is engaged when creating visual interpretations.However, when people were asked to use their own language to describe what they’d drawn, they suddenly started to make up totally new explanations for their images that had nothing to do with the prompt!Chantel explains that this phenomenon occurred because the left brain is responsible not just for generating language but also for making inferences about causality and justifying our own behavior. This means there’s often a disconnect between the true reason for our actions and our conscious justifications for them, says Chantel. In fact, much of our decision making is done within our subconscious, Chantel explains. This is especially true for teenagers, whose brains are still developing. When they seem unable to justify their behavior, it’s likely because they don’t have the brain mechanisms to do so yet, says Chantel.While kids can’t always explain their behavior, it’s clear that they have certain motivations for their actions. Whether it’s the thrill of winning a homecoming game, the fear of failing a test or the satisfaction of saving for their first car, each teen has their own motivating forces. Chantel and I are talking about what motivates teens and how parents can understand their teens’ own method of motivation.What Motivates Teens?Although motivation is complicated, Chantel explains a basic spectrum we can use to understand what motivates our kids (and ourselves). Chantel explains that at one end of the spectrum, there are “carrot”  learners, who are spurned forward by rewards. On the other end are “stick” learners, or those who make decisions based on their desire to avoid negative outcomes. You may have heard of the chemical dopamine, and that it plays a role in happiness. As Chantel explains in the episode, dopamine is a reward chemical that makes us feel satisfied when we achieve or obtain something. On the other hand, when we find ourselves disappointed, we experience what Chantel calls a “dopamine dip” and receive less dopamine than we expected.Carrot learners are motivated to seek out dopamine, and learn to repeat the behaviors that bring it–like eating food, buying something they’ve had their eye on, or even reaching a lofty goal. Stick learners, on the other hand, are motivated by the memories of those dopamine dips, and want to avoid the same unpleasant feeling they associate with disappointment. Chantel and I talk about how you can figure out if your teen is a stick or a carrot learner and what that means for your relationship with them.Although we can look at the science of different hemispheres and motivation styles, each individual’s brain is truly unique, Chantel explains. In the episode, we’re breaking down why everyone’s brain operates differently, and how we can help our kids embrace their own way of thinking.Why Your Teen’s Brain Is UniqueChantel finds it frustrating that we often approach neuroscience with the belief that brains are one-size-fits-all. The truth is that our brains each have unique ways of interacting with the world and processing information.To demonstrate her point, Chantel tells me about some of her research, in which she monitors participants’ brain activity while they’re doing nothing. When a brain isn’t given a task, researchers can measure the frequencies emitted by their brain in different areas. By measuring these frequencies, Chantel is able to make interpretations about how each person’s brain works uniquely.Particularly, she measures these frequencies as they relate to long term planning vs. sensitivity to the current environment. Essentially, Chantel can read how much energy people spend working towards long term goals, and how much energy is spent navigating the present. Each person’s brain does this differently, she explains, including teenagers. In the episode, we’re talking about how we can understand this concept as it applies to our kids, in educational, social and personal contexts.In the Episode…Chantel’s extensive knowledge of the brain is remarkable! On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:Why we should rethink standardized testingHow parts of our brains become specializedWhy left-handed people think differentlyHow extroverted people receive stronger dopamine responsesIf you enjoyed this week’s episode, you can find more from Chantel at chantelprat.com. Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next week! Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

David Arms and son Steven Arms, authors of Milestone to Manhood,  join us this week to talk about how families can organize a coming-of-age ritual that helps teens embrace their impending adulthood. They break down their family’s ritual, and explain how you can create your own.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesPreparing kids for the responsibilities of adulthood is one of parenting’s most critical challenges. Although kids officially become “adults” at 18, the journey to adulthood starts long before then. Teens are figuring out their values, career, love life and identity as they move through puberty and high school! For parents, it can be nerve-wracking to watch as kids attempt to handle the challenges of growing up. When teens are wracked with self doubt and insecurity, it can be hard to reassure them that they're ready to take on new responsibilities! If only there was something we could do to help them enter maturity with confidence and security…This week, we’re talking about a special ritual parents and kids can complete together to signify the beginning of kids’ journey to adulthood. We’re talking to David and Steven Arms, authors of Milestone to Manhood. Our first ever father-son guest duo, these two men are here to tell us all about a ritual that takes place in their family whenever a boy turns 13–and how you can use their model to create your own family rite of passage. In our interview, we’re discussing each element of their family coming-of-age ritual, and its significance. Plus, how David and Steven use this rite of passage to have important conversations about everything from faith to sex, and how you can plan a coming-of-age event for your own kid.What Is A Rite of Passage?When someone in the Arms family turns 13, the older males–uncles, cousins, brothers, grandpas and fathers–plan an entire weekend of activities for them. Throughout the weekend, the 13 year-old faces a slate of leadership tasks, and receives advice about life from each of his older relatives. This entire trip is kept secret from the participant, until it's already underway, Steve and David explain.In the episode, David breaks down the rite of passage weekend he planned for Steven, which took place at a lakeside cabin. Throughout the weekend, there was a burning fire that Steven was expected to maintain. Instead of stoking it himself from morning to night, Steven took leadership and delegated its upkeep to each member of the family. The ability to practice leadership on a small, controlled scale is a big way to nudge kids towards adult responsibilities, they explain.To David and Steven, devout Christians, the fire is an important biblical symbol or resilience. They encourage the listener to find their own version of this activity based on their personal faith or values. Other parts of their ritual, like each man reading a bible verse, can be replaced by recommending important books or sharing significant stories between the group–whatever your family is comfortable doing.Beyond just activities, the rite of passage also includes having important discussions about life and growing up. Steven and David are breaking down how to approach heavy topics with teens as they’re coming of age.Talking About The Big StuffDuring Steven’s rite of passage weekend, the men of his family had an open discussion about sex–which helped him develop a healthy relationship with his own sexuality, he says. Steven explains how hearing his family members discuss sex in a non-judgemntal manner among one another made him feel as though he could ask them anything. By removing the stigma around sex, the men were able to create a safe space to discuss it.One of the main messages the older men attempt to impart on each trip is one of unconditional love and support. Reminding kids that you’ll love them no matter what provides them with the ability to have open dialogue with you no matter how old they are.For example, Steven recalls a period where he was questioning his own values, and didn’t know if he could talk to his parents about it. Once he remembered the rite of passage weekend, however, he realized his family was a safe place for challenging discussions, and opened up to his grandfather about what he was feeling. His grandfather’s advice set him back on track and reminded him that he’s not alone.David explains in the episode that kids are going to look for ways to feel like an adult as they move through teenagerhood, and sometimes turn to drugs or other risky behavior to feel mature. If we can have conversations with them about maturity while they’re in the process of growing up, we can help prevent them from going down a bad road. So how can we create our own rite on passage weekend? What if our kids are older–is it too late? David, Steven and I are explaining how you can create a version of the ritual for your own family.Creating Your Own RitualIf you’re interested in recreating this coming of age ritual or designing your own, David and Steven recommend planning far in advance. They always send emails to family members months and weeks in advance, to ensure that they’d be able to fit the weekend into their busy lives. The more planning you do, the better, they explain, especially if you’re feeling nervous or overwhelmed. With a schedule and prepared discussion topics, no one will have to wing anything.For parents who aren’t as close to their extended family or are pressed for time planning the weekend, a one-on-one event between father and son is better than nothing, they explain. David and Steven also encourage a little bit of spontaneity, recalling the valuable memories they made doing unplanned activities during the weekend. And although closer to 13 is better, it’s never too late to plan a weekend like this for kids.David and Steven touch on the value of a gift passed between father and son at the end of the weekend–a gift that requires responsibility to signal their newfound maturity. This gift doesn't have to be expensive, but instead rich in sentimental value. David gave his sons each a piece of his own father’s coin collection, but encouraged parents to find their own version of this gift. It could be a piece of jewelry, a pet or a family antique, something to remind kids that they’re burgeoning adults with a new level of expected responsibility.In The Episode…I enjoyed talking to David and Steven this week about their unique family ritual. On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:Why this ritual prepares kids to take on household choresHow different cultures inspired their take on a rite of passageWhy each mentor should leave teens with a book to readHow handwritten letters can play a role in the ritualIf you liked this episode, you can check out David and Steven’s website, milestonetomanhood.com. Don’t forget to share and subscribe, and we’ll see you next week! Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit

Caroline Clauss-Elhers, co-author of Eating Together, Being Together, joins us to talk about how cooking and eating with our kids creates opportunities for deeper connection.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesFor centuries, food has brought people together. Whether we’re preparing a holiday feast with the whole family or grabbing lunch with an old friend, there’s something about cooking and eating together that creates a connection between human beings. But sometimes we lose track of the value of sharing a meal–especially when it comes to daily family life. After a long day of work and school, it’s easy to throw a frozen pizza in the oven and sit your kids in front of the TV while you go upstairs for some much-needed peace and quiet.Although it can be hard to find time for family dinner and even more difficult to muster up the energy to cook a meal, food can be a great way to connect with your kids. Cooking together provides opportunities to teach valuable life lessons, and sitting down for a meal can bring laughter, bonding, and essential communication. If you can find the time to cook and eat together, food might just bring your family closer than ever before.To help us get the spices flowing and the conversation going, we’re talking to Caroline Clauss-Elhers, co-author of Eating Together, Being Together: Recipes, Activities and Advice From a Chef Dad and a Psychologist Mom. Caroline is an award-winning psychologist and professor at Long Island University, Brooklyn. She teamed up with her chef husband to write this book full of fun ways to incorporate food into family bonding!In my conversation with Caroline, we’re discussing the important practical and philosophical lessons kids can learn from cooking.Creating delectable meals is a great way to bond with our teens, and provides a unique space to discuss fun and serious subjects.How Cooking Can Be EducationalCooking is more than just preparing tasty food–it also includes things like math, physics, and plant science! Preparing food together is a fun and productive way to teach kids about everything from fractions to fruit, says Caroline. Younger kids might be fascinated to learn about the composition of an egg, while older kids can try converting teaspoons to quarts. No matter how old your kid is, they’ll likely learn a thing or two if they step into the kitchen, Caroline says.If we want our kids to learn life skills like leadership, perseverance, or patience, cooking is a great place to start, Caroline says. Making a meal is messy, and typically involves some trial and error. Before kids can produce the perfect omelet, they'll have to learn to remain resilient through pooly cracked eggs or burnt mushrooms!  If there’s multiple cooks in the kitchen, Caroline suggests letting kids be in charge of delegating duties. This lets them try out a little bit of leadership and critical decision-making, she says.The grocery shopping process is another chance to get kids learning–this time about money! Caroline suggests comparing the prices and attributes of multiple brands and asking kids which they think is a better deal. At the end of the trip, kids can look over a receipt and see how each item, discount, or fee was combined to make a total payment amount. These lessons might seem minor, but can be formative for kids still learning about the value of both money and food, Caroline explains.Cooking and eating as a family is more than just educational! Parents can also use food to bond with kids in all sorts of ways. In our interview, Caroline and I are discussing how food preparation and consumption can be a path to better communication with kids.How Food Brings Family TogetherIn our interview, Caroline and I are discussing all the ways families can use food to bond. In Caroline’s family, for example, making apple cider is a common activity. She hops into the car with her husband and kids and they drive to the apple orchard before bringing the fruit home to make the cider and enjoy it together. Caroline explains that the car rides are often the highlight, because they give her family unstructured time to talk about their lives with one another. Although they could simply buy cider from the store, this from-scratch method is much more fun and creates opportunities for connection, says Caroline.Sometimes, there’s a specific topic you want to bring up to your teen, but you aren’t sure of the right time and place. Caroline says cooking and eating together creates opportunities for heavier topics to come up organically. When your family is gathered in a comfortable environment doing something low-effort like eating or caramelizing onions, it often provides the chance to nudge your teen about their college applications or find out more about their friends at school.You might be thinking to yourself, I don’t have time to cook! I’m too busy working or running kids from soccer practice to tutoring! In the episode, Caroline and I talk about different methods for busy parents to bond with kids over food. There are three meals and multiple snack occasions to capitalize on, she says, and there’s bound to be at least one opportunity in the day to cook or eat with kids. Even something small like cutting fruit together or making a sandwich can be a good opportunity to chat about your day.But what do we do when we’re munching away on mashed potatoes and teens suddenly bring up a serious topic? In our interview, Caroline and I are discussing how we can listen and respond to kids who are struggling with everything from school to social anxiety.Why Listening Goes a Long WayWhen kids are coming to us with concerns about dating, drinking, or a bad grade, the conversation can get pretty tense. Parents tend to have opinions on these subjects, and sometimes when we’re listening, we just can’t wait to blurt out our own feelings about what teens should do. However, jumping in with a solution might do more harm than good, says Caroline. In the episode, she’s outlining a strategy for responding  to teens who are struggling–and listening without our own agenda is step one.Instead of chiming in right away, Caroline suggests listening attentively and trying to understand how kids feel. And when we do offer our two cents, she recommends we validate teens feelings and opinions in the process. This can be tricky, Caroline explains, as sometimes teens are being irrational or unreasonable. But their feelings and your feelings can both be right, she says. Acknowledging the validity of both stances can be a good way to start breaking down the problem at hand in a practical way.Caroline explains that simply having someone to talk to can be immensely valuable for teens. Studies show that having one trusted adult in their corner can do wonders for kids who are struggling with growing pains and trying to make sense of the world. In the episode, Caroline and I talk about how parents can guide teens through tough situations like social anxiety, the pandemic, and more.In the Episode…I had so much fun interviewing Caroline this w...

Kate Lund, author of Bounce, joins us to explain how teens can face obstacles and practice resilience when life gets tough. We also discuss the importance of stress management, goal setting and trying new things.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesYour teen might have the perfect life plan–become class president, get a basketball scholarship, and go to the medical school of their dreams. But no matter how put-together your teen is, they’re likely to encounter plenty of obstacles on the road to success. They might not make the school basketball team at all, or maybe they’ll receive a rejection letter from the college they swore they’d go toIf teens let these challenges bring them down, they might not reach the future they’ve envisioned. But if they’re resilient enough to push past hardships, they may find that all of their dreams are entirely possible!Building resilience is no easy task, however. That’s why we’re talking to Kate Lund, author of Bounce: Help Your Child Build Resilience and Thrive In School, Sports and Life. Kate is a psychologist and life coach with over 15 years of experience helping people of all ages overcome hardship.In our interview, Kate and I are discussing how teens can gain resilience from learning to manage their emotions. We're also talking about how teens can stay motivated, and why teens need confidence and courage if they want to strive for greatness.Modeling Emotional ManagementThere’s no shortage of frustrating situations in life, especially for teens who are still figuring it all out. When things go wrong, teens tend to get stressed–and how they deal with this stress makes all the difference, Kate says.In order to find resilience, teens have to master stress management, she explains. When teens manage their stress properly by exercising, painting, or spending time with friends, they’re able to remain even-keeled and calm most of the time, explains Kate. But when they let their stress run free, any triggering situation can put them over the top and cause them to melt down. By scheduling time to regularly de-stress, teens can stay grounded when challenges arise.To help teens gain emotional management skills, try modeling them yourself, Kate suggests. When you're dealing with something frustrating or overwhelming, you shouldn’t hide this from teens, she explains. Letting teens see your negative emotions can remind them that stress is totally normal. When kids see parents handling their emotions in healthy ways, they'll be reassured that they’re capable of the same, says Kate.Another way parents can model healthy emotional habits is by practicing kindness in a visible way. When anger or sadness go unmanaged, these emotions can lead us to become unkind to those in our lives, says Kate. Showing teens that we’re capable of being kind to anyone, no matter their beliefs or opinions, is an incredibly powerful way of modeling emotional management, she says.If kids are truly striving for resilience, they’ll have to keep their motivation going, no matter what obstacles are in their path. In the episode, we’re talking about how teens can stay motivated through any challenges they might face.Motivation and Goal SettingTo maintain motivation, Kate recommends that kids set attainable goals. They might have a grand goal of getting into their dream school, but they’ve got to have smaller goals along the way if they want to stay motivated, she says. Their first goal might be getting all the necessary letters of recommendation by a certain date, and their second goal might be finishing their essays in time for early admission. Reaching these small goals helps teens feel accomplished, which in turn motivates them to keep going.Sometimes parents push teens to pursue activities that teens just don’t seem to care about. This might be because we don’t want kids to be quitters or because we have our own selfish interest in the activity. This can cause kids’ motivation to stall out. Instead, Kate recommends that you encourage teens to pursue what they actually enjoy, letting their natural motivation take over. As a parent, you can help kids stay motivated by encouraging them to follow their passions.What if your teen doesn’t feel motivated to achieve anything? Kate says you should give unmotivated teens time to figure out where they want to direct their energy. Not every teen moves at the same speed, she explains. She suggests that both parents and teens remain open to new experiences and connections through their teenage years and even into young adulthood. We never know what might inspire us, and teens shouldn’t hold themselves back from the possibility of finding their spark.There are a few other things that factor into resilience, including qualities like confidence and courage. Kate and I are discussing how teens can gain these traits and find resilience.Courage and ConfidenceFor teens who are facing the impending world of adulthood, confidence isn’t always easy. But the more kids embrace challenges and overcome them, the more confident they’ll be the next time an obstacle comes around. Resilience comes with learning to be uncomfortable, says Kate, and if we want to raise confident teens, we’ve got to encourage them to leave their comfort zones.The same goes for courage, Kate explains. Kids might be scared to try something new, but courage comes from trying anyway, she says. If teens fail, parents can push them to approach the activity from a different angle, or prompt them to simply try again. Once teens realize that they’re capable of overcoming failure, they’ll eventually gain the courage to try anything they desire, Kate says.Although it’s typically helpful to encourage teens, there are some cases when we should refrain from pushing them too much, sys Kate. Some parents tend to overschedule kids, filling up their day with sports practice, test prep, tutoring sessions and chess club. This overscheduling can lead teens to burn out, and hurt their ability to focus on anything at all. Kate recommends we monitor how much teens are sleeping, eating or socializing to make sure they’re not overworked to the point of exhaustion.In the Episode….I enjoyed talking to Kate this week about resilience, stress management,  motivation and more! On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:Why teens might benefit from meditatingHow teens can fight distractions to stay focusedWhy it’s important for teens to have hopeHow parents can model motivationIf you enjoyed listening, you can find Kate’s book, Bounce, on Amazon. Thanks for tuning in, and don’t forget to share and subscribe! We’ll see you next week. Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.

Dr. Elena Lister, psychologist and author of Giving Hope, speaks about why it’s so essential to discuss death with our kids. Elena explains how to have age-appropriate talks when a loved one passes, and how to help grieving teens who are struggling to open up.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesWhen a loved one is seriously ill or passes unexpectedly, there’s no easy way to tell our kids. While we want them to know the truth and feel supported through any grief they might have, we don’t want to freak them out or say the wrong thing. This is particularly true when it comes to teenagers, who typically don’t want to talk to parents about anything–especially intense emotions.But talking about death and loss can be immensely valuable for teens, especially after a tragedy. Opening up a conversation about grief reminds teens that their home is a safe space for difficult feelings. For teens who feel like they’re mourning on their own, having a parent to turn to can make all the difference. Today we’re talking to Dr. Elena Lister, co-author of Giving Hope: Conversations with Children About Illness, Death, and Loss. Elena is a psychology professor and practicing psychologist. In her work, she specializes in treating people who are struggling with grief. She also travels to schools to help kids deal with the loss of teachers, school staff or other members of their community.In our interview, Elena and I are covering why conversations about death are so essential, and what we can say to support teens who are working through the loss of a loved one. Plus, how you can help teens who don’t want to open up about their grief.Discussing Death With KidsAlthough it can be one of the most difficult topics for anyone to talk about, discussing death can also be incredibly important. Death is an inevitable part of life, explains Elena, and kids are often already aware of it before we ever bring it up. Pixar movies touch on themes of grief and loss, and school curriculums tackle famous figures who’ve passed. Without a conversation about death at home, kids can sometimes feel like they’re grappling with the concept alone.When we allow kids to feel comfortable talking about death, we help them claim ownership over their emotions, says Elena. These talks remind teens that they’re capable of managing difficult things in both the present and the future–tough emotions included, Elena says. If we don’t offer them this refuge, teens can bring the trauma of these losses into adulthood, where they may have even more trouble working through them.Elena explains that it can sometimes be tempting to lie to kids when the reality of death arises–like telling kids that the family dog went off to live on a farm when the truth is that he’s passed. But lying can undermine the bond of trust between you and your teen, Elena says, leading kids to be suspicious of anything else you might say for years to come. Plus, teens can often sense when you aren’t telling the truth, and might feel upset if they know you’re hiding something, she explains.Whether you have to break the news of a loved one's passing or just want to help kids understand the concept of death, these conversations aren’t easy. Elena is helping us understand what we can say to help teens feel supported, and what terms or topics to avoid.Finding the Right Moment To TalkIf you want to have a conversation about death with teens, Elena recommends weaving this talk into everyday life. It might not seem intuitive, but bringing these heavy topics into a more casual environment can make them easier to discuss. She suggests leaving time for kids to ask questions after the talk, and then returning to daily activities. It can also be comforting to spend some time together doing something simple after, like watching a movie.What’s the best time of day for the conversation? Elena advises us not to break the news of a loved one’s passing before bedtime, she says, as humans are predisposed to feel lonely at night. If possible, she recommends we  avoid telling kids before they go off to school, unless it’s someone in their immediate circle. Elena explains that kids often perceive a shift in energy among parents and peers when someone passes, and this might cause confusion if the circumstances are clearly communicated.Elena suggests that parents choose a moment when they're free to spend some time with kids afterwards–if the situation allows. If you can sit with teens without distractions, they’ll know you're there to comfort them and guide them through any grief they might have. In our interview, Elena and I talk about how important it is to put down our phones and other electronics during this time–even though it can be tempting to scroll through emails to deflect tension.Sometimes, however, teens don’t want to start up a conversation at all. This can lead parents to wonder if teens are struggling to communicate their grief, or simply talking about their feelings with someone else. Elena and I are talking about how you can interpret teens’ closed-off behavior and help them accept any feelings they might be wrestling with.Guiding Teens Through GriefWe all react differently to grief, Elena explains. If teens aren’t crying or showing outward signs of sadness, it doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling. Some kids even feel guilty about not crying, and might need a gentle reminder that any reaction they’re having is ok, says Elena. When kids seem to be avoiding emotion altogether, Elena suggests trying to find a non-verbal way they can express their grief. We share more specific ways to do this in the episode.Teens are usually experiencing the natural process of finding their independence, and may not want to talk to parents about what they’re feeling. If they aren’t sharing their grief with you, Elena recommends ensuring that they’re talking to someone else. Whether that person is a friend, a teacher, a counselor or a different family member, having someone else to open up to can be an essential part of processing the death of a loved one.Sometimes teens need the help of a professional, like a therapist or grief counselor. But how do we know when it's time to call for this resource? Elena says that if teens aren’t able to reacclimate regular life in four to six weeks, it might be wise to set up a professional appointment. If they aren’t eating or sleeping, refuse to come out of their room or suddenly begin acting up, they might need additional help beyond what parents can give.In the Episode…There’s so much to learn from Elena in this episode. On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:What to do if a loved one dies while kids are awayHow to speak to kids about suicideWhy celebrities’ deaths can trigger kids’ own traumaWhy every kid should have a goldfishIf you enjoyed this week’s episodes, you can find more from Elena at elenalistermd.com, or on Twitter @Elenalistermd1. Thanks for listening, and don’t forget to share and subscribe! We’ll see you ...

Doni Wilson, author of  Master Your Stress, Reset Your Health, joins us to explain the science behind the body’s stress response. We talk about how everyone’s reaction to stress is unique, and how teens can take some steps to de-stress.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesToday’s teens are at risk of major stress overload. On top of managing their grades and competing for spots at exclusive universities, they’re battling the onslaught of a recession and a world battered by a pandemic. They’ve also got to navigate a complicated digital landscape! With phone notifications going off every five minutes demanding their attention, it’s no wonder teens are chronically stressed out.You may have heard of some stress relief methods for kids, like yoga, journaling, or taking long walks...but do they really work? Do teens need to go to therapy to feel better? Should they quit their extracurriculars to make more time for relaxation? What could possibly give kids the stress relief they need?The bottom line is, stress isn’t one-size-fits-all, and neither is the solution! If we want to find out how teens can de-stress, we’ll have to learn more about how each teen’s body processes stress in the first place.To learn more about the nuances of stress and possible solutions, we’re talking to Dr. Doni Wilson, author of Master Your Stress, Reset Your Health. Doni is a doctor of naturopathic medicine, a certified nutrition specialist, a bestselling author and an internationally renowned speaker! As a clinician, Doni focuses on stress recovery–specifically the regulation of hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.In our interview, Doni is breaking down the body’s stress response and how it affects everyone differently. We’re also discussing how teens can take some steps towards de-stressing, and how we can spot a teen that’s overwhelmed by stress.Cortisol And AdrenalineLet’s say your teen is driving, only a few weeks after getting their license. They’re on the freeway, trying to merge into traffic, when suddenly a huge truck shows up on their left. They might feel a jolt of panic, as their body alerts itself to this new danger. This sensation is a result of their adrenal glands releasing adrenaline, says Doni, which is the body's first response to a stressful situation.The human brain is constantly monitoring its environment, ready to react to stress at any moment–and when something sets off a stress response, our adrenal glands get to work, says Doni. With the release of adrenaline, our bodies go into flight or flight mode, alerting our sympathetic nervous system and making us more alert.When responding to stress, our body also produces cortisol, another hormone. This raises our blood sugar, halts our digestion, and suppresses our immune system so that our body can devote all its energy to handling the stressor at hand, says Doni.These chemicals are necessary for human survival, as they help humans navigate intense situations–like our teen avoiding a truck on the road. But these hormones are supposed to subside once teens aren’t stressed anymore, so that the body can reset itself. When teens' lives are filled up with tests, college admissions essays, football practice, keeping up with their friends on the internet and worrying over the state of the world, they’re not giving their body a break from the stress. This can cause their stress monitoring systems to go haywire! Doni explains this system failure further in the episode, and the repercussions it can have on teens’ health.If we want teens to relieve their chronic stress, they’ll have to help their body reset. But how can they do this? In the episode, Doni is explaining how everyone’s body is different–so treatment has to be unique.Address The High StressDe-stressing looks different for everyone, Doni says. That’s because everyone’s body responds to stress differently. Everyone has varying levels of cortisol and adrenaline, she explains. Some people have a cortisol deficit and others produce too much. Some people are more prone to producing stress hormones in the morning, while others get stressed in the evening. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to such a complex and varying problem, Doni says.Some of these differences can be attributed to genetics. Doni explains that some people are genetically predisposed to produce more cortisol, and feel higher levels of stress. There are also genetic differences that affect how quickly these hormones are metabolized. For some, a stress response can last a few minutes, while others feel stressed for hours. There are also generational aspects, Doni explains–the stress our parents and grandparents experienced can have an effect on how our own bodies process stress.Because everyone’s stress response is different, every individual requires a unique solution, says Doni. Instead of assigning blanket remedies for stress, Doni suggests taking your kid to a doctor to have their adrenaline and cortisol levels measured. In doing so, you can find out specific information about how your teen is handling all the stress of modern teen life–and how you can help them manage it.To get you started, however, Doni reveals some practices she often shares with her patients to help them both resolve and prevent stress.Stress Relief BasicsA huge part of healing from chronic stress comes from certain herbs and nutrients, according to Doni. As she explains in our interview, chemicals like dopamine and serotonin that make us feel happy and content come from amino acids–which ultimately are produced by our diet! Eating nutritious foods can help us reset our systems and can even prevent teens from becoming overly stressed.Doni also recommends teens get adequate sleep. Humans need about seven to nine hours of sleep each night  to maintain a healthy lifestyle, she explains, and without this, teens can easily become susceptible to stress. Exercise can help, but not always, says Doni, as it can raise cortisol levels for some depending on the intensity of the workout. Higher cortisol levels can make it harder to sleep, so Doni encourages teens to avoid exercising before bed.If you’re worried that your teen might be overwhelmed by stress, Doni says there’s a few signs you can look out for. Chronic headaches and stomachs can be the result of constant stress, as can tiredness. If teens show a sudden disinterest in something they used to enjoy, they might be struggling under a load of stress they can’t seem to get rid of. Doni suggests taking your teen to a doctor and having their hormone levels measured, to find individualized treatment that actually works!In the Episode….If your teen is chronically stressed out, you won’t want to miss this episode. On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about:How chronic stress can lead to autoimmune disordersWhy scheduling can help teens de-stressHow teens can stick to new habitsWhy humans need some stress to function properlyYou can find more of Doni’s work on her website,

Dr. Robert Lustig, author of Metabolical: The Lure and the Lies of Processed Food, Nutrition, and Modern Medicine, joins us to talk about how sugar and processed foods really affect our kids. Plus, how we can make a shift towards a healthier lifestyle.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesWhen life gets stressful and busy, convenient processed foods can be an easy fix. If you’re already late for work and your teen is scrambling to get out the door in the morning, frozen waffles or fruit loops are suddenly much more realistic than scrambled eggs and fruit. When you’re exhausted coming home from work, it can feel impossible to do anything more than throw some pizza rolls in the oven for the kids and pour yourself a glass of wine.But these processed foods aren't just slightly bad for your health–they can be downright poisonous for you and your family. The refined sugars and lack of nutritional benefits in these convenience foods causes serious damage to the digestive system and contributes to the  development of metabolic diseases like heart disease, diabetes and more.If we want to take care of our kids’ health (and our own), our families have got to start eating better. To learn how, we’re talking to Dr. Robert Lustig, author of Metabolical: The Lure and the Lies of Processed Food, Nutrition, and Modern Medicine. Dr. Lustig is an Emeritus Professor of Pediatrics in the division of Endocrinology at the University of California San Francisco. He lectures globally about health and is the best selling of several other books about nutrition.In our interview, Dr. Lustig and I are covering the surprising science behind our sugary diets–and why it's so essential that we change our eating habits. Plus, why our families should be consuming more fiber, and why today’s kids are so addicted to junk food.The Sugar ProblemWhen we think of sugary foods, we often envision donuts or candy…but there are all kinds of sugars in processed foods. In fact they’re usually the number one ingredient, hiding under names like “high-fructose corn syrup,” says Dr. Lustig.All this sugar in our diet is causing insulin resistance in our bodies, Dr. Lustig explains. This means we’re often overproducing insulin to compensate. As a result, humans are developing kinds of metabolic health issues–everything from polycystic ovary syndrome to cancer. All this insulin can also cause us to be pretty sluggish, Dr. Lustig explains. If your kid is chronically exhausted, high insulin might be the culprit.Insulin isn’t all bad! We still need it in our bodies to function normally, says Dr. Lustig, and without it, we'd have type one diabetes. But with all the sugar we tend to eat these days, our insulin levels are a lot higher than they should be, leading to poor health and chronic conditions. While exercise can help improve our health, nothing can fix this high insulin crisis except changing our diets, says Dr. Lustig. This is especially true for teens who are still growing and need all the nutrients they can get! So what changes can we make to our diets to bring our insulin levels down and restore our body’s healthy diets? As you might be able to guess, cutting out sugary and processed foods is step one, according to Dr. Lustig. This means cutting out things like chips, processed breakfast cereals, and soda.But what about diet sweeteners? Dr. Lustig explains that while these fake sugars are about half as toxic as sugar itself, they’re still not a good idea! Teens would be better off cutting soda and other “sugar-free” treats out altogether.Once we've cut these foods out, what can we eat instead? One incredibly important nutrient our families should be eating more of is fiber! Dr. Lustig and I dive into what fiber actually is and why it’s so good for us.The Power of FiberYou may have heard that fiber is good for you… but what is fiber exactly? Dr. Lustig explains that fiber is often found in fruits, vegetables, and pretty much anything else that comes out of the ground! Fiber is especially important because it feeds our microbiome. In our guts, there are trillions of bacteria that break down our food and regulate what goes into our bloodstream. Our bodies don’t absorb fiber the way it typically absorbs other foods. Instead fiber feeds this bacteria in our guts and keeps our microbiome healthy. Without fiber, our bacteria eats away at our intestinal lining instead…causing irreparable damage to our digestive system. This means bad proteins can slip through the gut into the bloodstream, causing inflammation, leaky gut, and more! If we want our insulin to stay down and our digestion to remain healthy, we’ve got to eat more fiber, says Dr. Lustig. Educating our kids on why fiber is essential to their health might help even the most unenthusiastic teens pick up a vegetable or two.Why is it that kids are so resistant to eating healthy, nutritious foods? Dr. Lusting and I are diving into this dilemma in our interview.Junk Food and Public SchoolsIf you’ve walked through the cereal aisle at your local grocery store, you know that most of the sugary, processed products are covered in cartoon characters and bright colors meant to draw kids in. And although teens may have grown out of that kind of stuff, they’re likely still hooked on the cereal inside the boxes. By targeting young kids, these companies have created an addiction to sugar that often continues into young adulthood, says Dr. Lustig.Our school system isn’t helping, Dr. Lustig explains. Every kid’s birthday is suddenly a cause for cupcakes, cookies, pizza and soda….and every day is a different kid’s birthday! Not to mention that America’s #1 vendor of fast food is the public school system. Kids are constantly fed fried chicken, sugary drinks, and processed sweets instead of fresh, healthy food. This is largely due to the measly budget of $2.80 the government provides for each student’s lunch!Junk food in schools isn’t  just causing health problems, but damaging kids’ cognition! These high-sugar foods starve kids’ cells of nutrients, making it impossible for those cells to deliver chemical energy to kids’ brains.In the episode, Dr. Lustig explains how healthy lunches are the key to keeping our kids focused and active. In the Episode…Dr. Lustig is full of valuable advice! On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about…How sugar affects kids’ teethWhy we shouldn’t blend fruit into smoothiesWhy we need to treat sugar like a drugHow we can make breakfast healthierIf you enjoyed this week’s episode, you can find more from Dr. Lustig at Robertlustig.com or on twitter @RobertLustigMD. Thanks for listening, and don’t forget to share and subscribe! We’ll see you next week. Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. ...

Kathryn Tuggle, author of How to Money, joins us to discuss the essential money advice teens need for a financially independent future. We talk about first jobs, saving for cars, and how teens can avoid impulse spending.Sponsored by Equip: Eating disorder treatment that works—delivered at home. Visit equip.health/talking for more information, and a free consultation.Full show notesIt’s time for the talk. You know, the big, nerve-wracking one you’ve been putting off for years. The one you know you have to have before kids reach a certain age, but you’re afraid it’ll be awkward and you won’t say the right thing. The talk is essential to your kids well-being and chance for a bright future…..the money talk, of course!Chatting with kids about money isn’t easy–there’s a lot to cover. It can be uncomfortable, and kids don’t listen half the time anyway. Plus, you might feel like you don’t know enough to give teens the right financial advice to prepare them for adulthood. But if you ask most people the thing they regret most in life, it’s their bad money choices as young adults. If we don’t teach teens how to handle money, they might end up making huge financial mistakes that could have been avoided!To help us raise money-smart teens, we’re talking with Kathryn Tuggle, co-author of How to Money: Your Ultimate Visual Guide to the Basics of Finance. Kathryn is the editor-in-chief of herrmoney.com, an incredible financial resource for young women! She produces the HerMoney podcast, and co-hosts its popular mailroom segment, where she answers questions about finance. Kathryn’s book is a rich mine of financial advice for young adults, and she’s here today to share some of the highlights.In our interview, Kathryn and I are discussing the basic financial topics parents should be discussing with kids. Plus, how to teach your kids to manage money and what we can do to help them save for big purchases like cars or even college.Finance 101 For TeensNo matter how smart and educated your teen is, they may not know the basics of finance, says Kathryn. They don’t teach financial literacy in the classroom, and most teens feel like a financially independent future is so far off that it’s not worth thinking about while they’re still in high school. Don’t assume your teen will figure it out on their own, says Kathryn. Make sure that you’re having conversations about how to earn, save, and invest while kids are still living at home.One way to do this is to implement discussions about money when you and your kid are at the grocery store or a restaurant. If you’re looking for an after-dinner dessert, have kids help you pick one out, says Kathryn, and help them understand the differences in pricing. When it comes down to choosing between a generic or name brand box of cookies, she suggests you remind kids what they could do with the extra three dollars you’ll save on the store brand–along with all the accumulated money you’ll have from buying that store brand every single week!When it’s time for teens to get their own job, there are plenty of ways parents can help, says Kathryn. In the episode, she walks me through some of the tips parents can give to teens who have their first job interview. We’re also covering whether or not you should talk to your teen about income taxes this early in life, and if kids should already start investing or putting money in a Roth IRA to save for retirement.Once teens make money, they’ll have to learn how to save it! Kathryn and I are talking about how teens can develop responsible habits now so they won’t be in trouble later.Teen Money Management Kids love to spend money on clothes, video games, hobbies they’re really into for a month before they lose interest…the list goes on. But as adults, we know how smart it is to save! We can teach our kids to keep their money in the bank, says Kathryn, but to do so, we’ve got to embrace their spendy perspective! She suggests asking teens about the pricier items they’re interested in–a new keyboard, a nice dress, even an iphone–and showing them how to save for it.It’s not just naivety that brings kids to spend lots of money on glitter eyeshadow or a trendy new hoodie. Social media companies are marketing products to kids on an enormous scale, with algorithms that track their activity to know just what advertisements they’ll click on. Influencers are telling them all day long that they NEED to purchase the latest jeans or supplements in order to fit in, look good and be cool!If you want to help your teen avoid spending lots of money on things they don’t need, Kathryn suggests sitting them down to discuss this social media advertising frenzy and why they should be questioning it. Remind them that influencers are being paid tens of thousands of dollars to promote products…and these items are probably not as remarkable as influencers might make them seem. She also recommends kids wait 24 hours before hitting purchase on anything, which helps them curb impulse spending and think critically about what they really want to spend their money on.Saving money is the path to lifelong financial prosperity, says Kathryn. This is especially true for teens who are looking to make their first big purchase. In our interview, we’re talking about the process of saving for a car or even college tuition during the teen years.Preparing Kids for Big PurchasesFor many teens, a car is the first big purchase they’ll make! This is a seriously expensive transaction and won’t come without quite a bit of saving. To motivate them, Kathryn suggests that they use visual reminders of their goal. Some teens benefit from putting a picture of the car they want on their bathroom mirror or bedroom door. Others find it helpful to set a reminder of the car on their phones on the weekend, when they’d typically spend a lot of money! This motivates them to limit their spending so that they can eventually make that big purchase they’ve been saving for.For other teens, college is the financial goal to focus on. Saving for college starts with knowing exactly what you're saving for, says Kathryn. Some teens want to become teachers, others want to become doctors…and these two things require vastly different financial plans. In our interview, Kathryn and I talk a lot about student loans, and how easy it is for parents and teens to get in over their heads. She drops some helpful tips for keeping student debt under control, even after teens have left college.At the end of the day, the most important thing is not to skip out on these money conversations, Kathryn says. There’s often a harmful stigma around discussing money, especially in American society–and only we can change that! Kathryn explains that kids almost always pick up money habits, both good and bad form parents. So while we have the chance, she recommends we help kids start off on the right foot and build strong financial futures.In the Episode…There’s lots of great financial advice for teens in this week’s interview! On top of the topics discussed above, we also talk about…Why teens should consider community collegeHow teens can ask for a raiseWhat teens should know about health insuranceWhy women invest 40% less than menThan...