The Date Brazen Podcast

Fina Antwine and I are going deep on all things self-care, how to embody your desires, how to trust your body, and step into your sacred power. If you are available for this powerful as hell conversation, listen in because it will impact your day for the better.  Fila Antwine is an emotional wellness coach with expertise in teaching you how to master self-care while creating healthy relationships and putting yourself first so you can build a life that you actually love. Note: We discuss themes of sexual abuse in this episode. If that is not for you today, please take care of yourself and skip this episode.  Hot-takes from this episode: When you say, "There are no good men", this is a learned trauma response passed down from the women in your family.  You can have high self-esteem and how self-worth Where women struggle the most in today’s dating space “What do you need most now?” This question can be comforting AND scary The act of Sacred Self Care - what it is and how to practice it in your life! The biggest obstacle to living sacred self-care and how to tackle it Links and resources: Fila’s websiteFila’s Love of Your Life IntensiveFila on InstagramDate Brazen on InstagramAnwar White SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/love-of-your-life-intensive-with-fila-antwine

I am excited to be sharing one of my favorite episodes to date; on boundaries! Boundaries are one of the most important tools (besides self-compassion) that you have, in your dating arsenal. In this episode, I share a boundary starter pack and explain why it may be hard for you to declare your boundaries, and offer a strategy that will help you get started. SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-declare-your-boundaries

Have you ever wondered if your life could be different without alcohol? This week, alcohol-free lifestyle expert, Amanda Kuda, joins me for a conversation about elective sobriety and sober dating. Amanda helps ambitious women design alcohol-free lives they are in love with. Whether you are sober-curious or already sober-free, this episode is for you.  Amanda says that “Everything can change in your life if you choose to live alcohol-free.” In this episode, we explore what it means to be sober-free, the notion that elective sobriety does not mean anti-alcohol, and how to maneuver dating as a sober, badass woman.  Hot-Takes from This Episode: Elective sobriety is when you are choosing to eliminate something from your life that is suppressing you from living to your true potential There are lessons to be learned from your resistance to living a sober-free life Discovering what life can be like without alcohol Sober-dating and how to navigate the conversation that you are alcohol-free Amanda shares her top tips for sober-free dating Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode: Amanda’s website Amanda on Instagram  Amanda’s Mindful Dating Mini-Course Date Brazen on Instagram SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-do-alcohol-free-dating-with-amanda-kuda  

If you have decided you only want to date one person at a time, but aren’t sure how to go about it - this episode is for you! Today, I am talking all about how to navigate dating multiple people at once, dating one person at a time, how to know what is right for you, and how to express your wants and needs to a potential partner. This episode is an invitation to give yourself permission to want what you want. If what you want is to date multiple people at once, go for it. If you want to date one person at a time - go for it. You are the CEO of your love life.  Hot-Takes from This Episode: What to do when you feel like wanting to be exclusive feels like you are being too much How to define your boundaries around commitment Plus, expressing and understanding your commitment preferences Think about: "What are you hoping for in your dating life? What are you excited to happen in your dating life?" Give yourself permission to focus on one person at a time. The right person for you will choose you, too. Encouragement to map out your expectations/preferences for monogamy/exclusivity  Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode: The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks Date Brazen on Instagram SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/dating-only-one-person-at-a-time

This week I am talking about the concept of competition in your dating life. I’ll be sharing how to move from a competitive mindset to a party mindset. Of course, it's hard NOT to think of dating as a competition..., especially when being in a relationship represents "moving forward" into a new stage in life. However, I am here to remind you that's a patriarchal narrative that no longer serves you.   In this episode, I explore how competition shows up, what it is a reflection of and how you begin to practice self-trust and confidence in order to change your dating mindset for good.  Dating is not a race to the finish line. It's a party where your only job is to own what you desire, own what you need, get your needs met, and allow the magic of co-creation to do the rest. Hot-Takes from This Episode: Being stuck in a cycle of perceived competition and comparison Patriarchal narratives do not serve you or your dating life Getting into a more expansive and empowering truth We are here to play, to have fun, serve ourselves and others, and create the world we want to see How can you create more freedom in your life? Life and dating are not zero-sum games Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode: Date Brazen on Instagram SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/moving-from-competition-mindset-to-party-mindset-in-your-dating-life  

Going from single-hood to being partnered can be quite a transition. It can leave you feeling a mixture of emotions, introduce you to new experiences, and uncover new (and old) insecurities. Gorgeous friend, that’s okay! This week, Modern Marriage Mentor, Maggie Reyes, joins me to discuss how to build the love life you desire, get comfortable with moving from independence to interdependence, and show up in your relationship honestly. We discuss the intersection between my work as a dating coach, helping women make dating feel like self-care, and Maggie’s work helping women master their mindset in order to make their marriage better.  Listen to hear this fun and empowering conversation! Hot-Takes from This Episode: What if you treated your “quirk” as a feature and not a bug Transitioning from life as a single woman to life with a partner, and honoring the grief or other feelings you may feel  Maggie weighs in on the idea that “men don’t do the same emotional work women do.” Moving away from the “all or nothing” mindset How Maggie helps women communicate in relationships including open-hearted or uncomplicated communication Creating awareness around the stress cycle and how you are responding  Is wanting what you want somehow too much within a relationship? Why Maggie says to write a job description for your ideal partner Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode: Date Brazen on Instagram Maggie on Instagram Maggie’s website The Marriage Life Coach Podcast 69. Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol The Highly Sensitive Person Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/building-the-love-life-you-want-with-maggie-reyes

Are you currently in a situationship? You are ‘kind-of’ seeing someone but there is no commitment and no talk about the future. Why do you keep falling into situationships and what can you do about it?  Therapist Dontea’ Mitchell-Hunter joins me for a discussion about how to practice self-love and worthiness in and out of relationships. Dontea’ Mitchell-Hunter is a self-worth therapist that helps BIPOC women get out of unfulfilling relationships and recreate self-love & happiness - single or partnered. She wants women to know their worth doesn’t come from being in a relationship nor what others think of them. Hot-Takes from This Episode: Coming into your boundaries and releasing people who are not respecting them. Situation-ships: what they are and why we find ourselves in them.  Standing by your personal preferences, like not wanting kids. What to do when your values isolate you from people you care about. Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode: Dontea’s website Detox Therapy Podcast Dontea’ on Instagram Date Brazen on Instagram SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/why-we-choose-situationships-with-dontea-mitchell-hunter  

Pleasure. Money. Dating. That is what we are talking about on the Date Brazen podcast this week! Serena Hicks teaches coaches how to make, have, and move BIG Happy Money ™ as a Love-leading revolution in this world. She joins me for a discussion about love, relationships, and the money mindset.  Together we talk about moving from a scarcity mindset, which sounds something like, “There aren’t enough good people out there, I’ll never find love. I need to take whatever I can get and take it now!” To one of there is enough, as in, “The one is out there and that is enough for me.  Knowing this truth IS enough.”   Hot-Takes from This Episode: What Big Money is and how Serena discovered it after a shame spiral about money and living from a scarcity mindset. Sometimes our net worth is a reflection of our self-worth.  Systems of oppression and patriarchy are affecting your worth.’ Why we feel so much shame about debt and what we can do about it. How to solve for underearning starts with getting hip to realizing how awesome you are.  Functioning from scarcity concept to functioning from ENOUGH.  Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode: Serena’s website Big Money Mastermind Serena on Instagram Date Brazen on Instagram  WEBZ Chicago’s Making Oprah SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-stop-shoulding-yourself/big-happy-money-and-your-love-life-with-serena-hicks  

Today we are going to be talking about the word “should”. Specifically, what it means if you are shoulding yourself, how it’s affecting your dating life, and how to start choosing an easier path forward.  I should let it go. I should have figured this out by now. I shouldn’t care so much. I should just push a little harder. “Should” thoughts such as these are so insidious. Tune in to hear how to start shedding the shoulds from your dating life for good. Hot-takes From This Episode:  “Shoulding” is a sign that you need to play with self-compassion What if should was not an option? What would that sound, look, and feel like? Why should is a weapon against your own agency. You deserve to be self-trust-filled and empowered. The “should” standard is there to keep you oppressed. “Should” is your teacher, it is not the enemy. It is here to teach you where to practice self-compassion and unhook from previous norms that kept you in a box. Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode: Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today! Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen Episode 69: Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-stop-shoulding-yourself

Welcome to a very special episode of the Date Brazen Podcast! It’s episode 100, y’all! Returning to the show is my partner Chris. He joined me for an Ask Chris and Lily Anything episode way back in 2020. In this episode, he joins me as my host and asks me some burning questions about dating, relationships, growing Date Brazen, and everything in between. Join us for this fun and behind-the-scenes episode! Hot-takes From This Episode:  My favorite Date Brazen episodes The hardest part of our relationship: being human together.  What I am most PROUD to say “No,” to. Do I believe in red flags? Hint: YES! Chris shares some of his favorite Date Brazen-isms Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode: Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today! Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen Episode 15: Our Relationship: Ask Lily and Chris Anything Episode 69: Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol The Spark File Podcast SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/100th-episode-chris-asks-lily-anything