Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Brenda Zane is back this week!  She was on the podcast before (spring 2023) talking about how to be with teen substance abuse. We had SUCH an amazing response to that conversation that Brenda and I thought it would be helpful to have her back to talk about “what do you do” for specific scenarios around our teens and substances that leave us feeling in the dark. Today we discuss how to set healthy boundaries around teen substance abuse while still maintaining a connected relationship with our teens. Takeaways from the show Creating conditions for positive change in children, and the plant analogy. Why young people turn to substance use, including a desire to cope with emotional pain and shame. Setting boundaries around drug use The challenge of enforcing consequences The importance of addition over subtraction in facilitating change Have open and curious conversations with their teenagers about substance use, rather than resorting to shame or judgment The importance of building a positive relationship with children, focusing on mutual respect and influence rather than control or manipulation The "information sandwich" technique to discuss sensitive topics with teenagers How humor and modeling positive behavior are useful tools Focusing on boundaries and natural consequences, rather than reactive measures like drug testing and phone confiscation For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week's solo show teases apart the difference between being in resistance and being in flow when it comes to the ride we are on while parenting teenagers. The middle school and high school years are a current that is ever changing, and we have choices in how we lean into the ebb and flow. This week I share a post from a parent in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group that resonated deeply with me, and bring my own learning from a meditation practice I was invited into.For more show notes and news about our sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-519-finding-flow-in-the-current-of-parenting-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Dr. Emily Kline. Dr. Kline shares all kinds of useful information this week around why and how we can communicate with our adolescents with the best results. This episode is all about motivational interviewing. We touch on relinquishing control and asking curiosity questions, then we dig in deep into what motivational interviewing is and why it’s so helpful. I ask Dr. Kline what motivational interviewing might look like when a teenager is using marijuana, and we agree that the best tool we have to influence our adolescents is relationship. Dr. Kline shares tips on how to start tricky conversations and what you can learn in the first 10 seconds. She tells me what limits, consequences, boundaries, etc. look like to her, what we do when teens disregard those limits, and listening for motivation to change.  Takeaways from the show Relinquishing control  Motivational interviewing Teens trying marijuana  The best tool for influence is relationship  Staying respectful & curious  How to deliver advice & why we listen first  Staying neutral & consistent around hard conversations   Expectations & limits without punishments  Avoiding socially isolating consequences  Listening for motivation for change For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Inspired by Monday's interview with college admission coach, Janae Young, this week's solo show is all about how to let go of control and allow our teens to move through their own process. This is HARD! I get into WHY it's so hard and WHY it's so important to let this process be theirs. Not all kids are headed straight for college, and the ones who want to may not be showing up to the work in a way that aligns with what they say they want... It can be crazy-making!! Listen in and let me know what you think.For more show notes and information about our sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-518-living-in-the-tension-of-our-teens-efforts-during-college-application-season/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest this week is Janae Young, and I’m so excited that she’s here to share her wisdom as a college admissions coach with us.  Janae shares why she’s so passionate about college admissions, and we talk about what the admissions process looks like now, including what the common application system is. Janae shares what’s challenging about college application essays for adolescents, tips to help, and her two archetype essay writers. I ask Janae what best practices are for parents who are helping their kids through the college application process, and she shares where we can support and when we need to back off. We hit on missed deadlines & natural consequences and how to best list awards & activities. I ask Janae what kids can be doing in 9th, 10th, and 11th grade to help prepare for college applications, and we briefly touch on ACTs and SATs. Takeaways from the show What’s the college application process look like now?  Common application system  College application essays  “Perfectionist Polly” and “Rushed Ryan”  How can parents best support their teen during this process?  Week-by-Week college application calendar  College applications are their job, not yours  Missed deadlines & learning through mistakes  What teens can do in 9th, 10th, and 11th grades to help the college admissions process  Best time to take SATs For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I am digging into a challenge that is plaguing way too many parents of teens - vaping nicotine. It is something I worked through with my kids, and something that shows up for so many of the parents I work with. One parent came forward asking for resources in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens group - their daughter had recently come clean about their use and needed help. Listen in and let me know what you think!Find all the show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-517-when-our-teens-are-vaping-nicotine/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My returning guest today is Dr. Melanie McNally the author of “Helping Your Unmotivated Teen: A Parent’s Guide to Unlock Your Child’s Potential”.Dr. McNally explains what inspired her to write her new book and a bit about what parents misunderstand about teens, motivation, and laziness. I ask Dr. McNally to tell us more about the difference between external and internal motivation and how we know when we can use external motivators while growing their internal drive. We tease apart the difference between autonomy and independence, and she helps clarify some differences between teens who are feeling unmotivated, depressed, or dealing with screen addiction.  This is such a juicy one - we also get into why and how our teens can grow grit, becoming versus being, and for tips on how to start conversations around motivation. We end on tips for finding your own motivation & purpose. Takeaways from the show Check out Dr. McNally’s new book - “Helping Your Unmotivated Teen: A Parent’s Guide to Unlock Your Child’s Potential”  Are teenagers really just lazy?  Internal versus external motivation  High achieving parents with “average” kids  Autonomy versus independence  Collaborating with our adolescent on expectations  Low motivation versus depression versus screen addiction  Handing energetic responsibility over to our teens & growing grit  Becoming rather than being For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week revisiting this solo episode as we play with the concept of flexibility while parenting through the teen years. Where are you finding flexibility? How might flexibility serve your relationship with your teen? What is getting in the way of flexibility?Find full show notes and news about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-452-dance-flexibility-while-parenting-adolescents/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am SO excited about today’s interview. You’ll recognize my guest today - Julietta Skoog my co-founder and the Early Years Lead here at Sproutable! She’s here today to talk about back-to-school season with middle schoolers.  Julietta and I cover so much this week - balancing caring for our kids & our aging parents, the jarring differences between elementary & middle school, and watching their decision-making and mistakes. We talk about why kids come home so upset & frustrated from school and how to create routines & systems that work for your family.  We really dig into the difference between scaffolding and witnessing, how to support middle schoolers with their homework, the friend drama (especially when it’s new friends/families that you don’t know), and how screens & texting affect those friendships.  Takeways from the show “Sandwich season” - taking care of your young children & aging parents at the same time  What do summers look like when your kids aren’t little anymore?  Navigating phones & screens with middle schoolers  Fears & concerns around safety - “what if?” energy  The after-school release & attitude  “September is a month of grace” - it won’t always be back-to-school season!  Creating systems & routines that work for your family  Friend drama in Middle School (high highs & low lows)  Self-reflection as a growing skill For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Screens!! I know - will we ever get to a place of NOT needing to talk about screens?? Today's episode is a messy exploration of the subtle ways kids are pulled into their relationship with screens, and the importance of developing life skills WHILE providing guardrails for keeping our kids safe. Plus, an invitation to take an honest look at how OUR use is adding to the messaging our kids are getting... Did I mention this is messy? It is. Listen in and let me know what you think.See all show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-514-a-messy-conversation-about-screens-limits-and-life-skill-development/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices