Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Today’s guest is Sharon Ballantine! With 3 children to parent, she turned to books for help with parenting, but she never had the time to read and process the information in the books. So, with no other options available to her, she decided to rely on her own intuition and her own Internal Guidance System for parenting. She began using this technique and the law of attraction to manifest exactly what she wanted as a parent. In this episode, Sharon shares exactly how she made it all happen! Join us! Sharon Ballantine is a Parenting and Life Coach and Founder of the Ballantine Parenting Institute. Her book, The Art of Blissful Parenting, guides parents with practical as well as spiritual advice in raising their children. It also guides parents on how to get into alignment, discover and use their own IGS before they can teach their children.In this episode Sharon also discusses: How to find answers within yourself You have an internal guidance system that begins with your feelings Why leaving the room can help you get “in alignment” to parent Physical movement can be a tool to help bring you into a centered place of alignment Changing the subject that is causing stress and bad energy can cause a shift in energy The teenage years are the years of “personal discovery” Parents spend the teen years in fear mode and resort to using control Whoever a teenager is today is not their final destination. Be patient; they will change. Why we want to avoid making our children feel bad at all costs Staying centered will give you the coping skills to deal with any kind of crazy you have to deal with “This too shall pass” - it is true especially for teens Ways to deal with teen behavior that is harmful Focusing on the future and consequences of actions can allow a teen to take responsibility and look at the big picture How to support your child’s development of their Internal Guidance System Ways her failures as a parent contributed to finding her Internal Guidance System What joyful courage means to her and how it contributes to bliss  Resources Mentioned on the Show: The Secret - Rhonda ByrneThe Art of Blissful Parenting - Sharon Ballantine Connect with Sharon:Website - sharonballantine.com Facebook/sharonballantineTwitter/LifeCoachSB Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to an inspiring episode with my friend, Beth Caldwell. Beth is a mom of two, a former civil rights lawyer, and a blogger who lives in Seattle. In 2014, at age 37, Beth found a lump during a breast self-exam, which turned out to be metastatic cancer already in her bones. You’ll appreciate Beth’s genuine honesty about our topic today: as parents of young children, how do we deal with illness, trauma, death, and loss? What do we tell them? How much is TOO MUCH for them to handle? You don’t want to miss this conversation, so join us!What you’ll hear in this episode: Beth’s cancer journey from finding the lump until now The feedback from Beth’s frank and open blog: 99% positive Currently, her cancer is in her brain, right arm, and liver New breakthroughs with new drugs The worst part of chemo? Fatigue How to talk to kids with age appropriate language about cancer Don’t hide the truth: share what’s important for them to know Her son’s recent speech about advocacy for better research How to be open and create a safe space for their questions Be mindful: don’t live in fear and trauma Why Beth insists on “planning ahead” How cancer affects your spouse What does “joyful courage” mean to Beth? “Courage is not an absence of fear; it’s being afraid and doing it anyway.”Resources:www.cultofperfectmotherhood.com "The Cat is Out of the Bag" Beth's son finds out she will die of her cancerwww.metup.org The Cancer that Wouldn’t Go Away by Hadassa Field I Still Just Want to Pee Alone (series by Jen Mann and others, including Beth!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jo Langford is a therapist and sex educator from Seattle, WA. Our conversation today will cover porn, social media ediquette, and sexting (yikes!). In a culture that is becoming ever more sexualized, how do we keep our kids safe and smart about what is out there? Joe and I have a very candid conversation about conversations to have with our children, while still maintaining relationship and family values. Highlights: Jo has two kids, a middle schooler and an almost middle schooler. He is living his work! He’s been changing the world and making it better since high school. Joe trains parents, teachers and staff of organizations such as the YMCA and the Boys and Girls Club. Harder for kids to NOT see porn, than it is to be ABLE to see it. Families are getting in touch with Joe because their 10-16 year old is looking at a lot of porn parents talk about it and child continues to engage in it. What conversations you can have with your kids when they are noticing all of the opportunities to see/look at porn. When you see porn you can never “un-see” it. Instead of “how do I keep my child from being exposed to porn?” today, we need to be asking, “how do I handle it when my child sees porn?” – this is the reality based on statistic Open conversations are key… Keep them talking, by practicing your neutral face and manage your own stuff when they come to you to have tough conversations. The message becomes “I can handle what you bring me, no matter what.” What happens in the brain? Kicks up the pleasure centers, big hit of dopamine… If they continue to watch, the brain gets desensitized and wants to get to the next level. Talk to kids about building boundaries around tech. Encourage them to have real relationships, how to unplug, how to manage friends/people who sext. Rules/guidelines around where the phone/screen lives at night… Don’t wait until you NEED the guidelines – put them into place now. “Monitoring” software that Joe recommends – builds muscles of restraint and self control when kids have some access while also knowing that parents will see where they go – “we are trying to raise good grown ups” Qustidio – controlled through wifi – put the browser on kids devices. Controls, time limits, helpful. Disney’s Circle – easy to use, hooks up to wifi, all devices get put into categories (grown ups, teens, kids) and put time limits on use, also over 3G. AWESOME! Best strategy is to put most of the ownership and responsibility on the kids. “Not about me trusting you, it’s about you showing that you are trustworthy.” Making agreements together is key to our kids follow through. The internet is forever! You leave a trail…. Grown ups are the models of what is appropriate/inappropriate – be good role models! Roll out the SM access, rather than giving kids full access from the beginning. Let them flex and develop their muscles. Get on the apps they want to use with them, let them teach you, normalize communicating with each other through this media. How do we help our kids deal with sexting? Statistically 20% - 30% of teens send pics, doubles when it is only “words” Girls sometimes start the behavior because they know the boys will respond. Joe advises the boys to respond with “this isn’t something you need to do… here are three things I like about you besides your boobs” – our girls are getting the wrong message about how to connect/get attention. Kids have less hangups about sex and seem to be more comfortable with their bodies, but there is an abyss they can tumble into – we want them to be more discerning and thoughtful about who they share that with. Developing a discerning mind… All about practice.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Debbie Reber, the founder of TiLT Parenting, an online destination and podcast. The website was the result of parenting a “differently-wired” child with neurological differences. She found it hard to find information and support for the challenges that parents face when ADHD, autism, and dyslexia are the diagnoses. Her family moved from Seattle to Amsterdam three years ago, where she homeschools Asher today. Debbie’s desire was to create a community and a podcast to give parental support and to help kids feel accepted, understood, and heard. Let’s learn more together! What you’ll hear in this episode:  Preschool experiences: disruptive behavior and meltdowns Year-by- year education plan Assumptions that others make about ADHD & ODD Challenges of living in Amsterdam The Tilt Parenting Manifesto, based on true acceptance Atypical kids are everywhere—at least 20% of the population Why we don’t need the Shroud of Secrecy Ten Tilts to Shift the Game Amazing response from other parents The Vision? Shifting the whole parenting paradigm When options are limited for “normal” activities, like camp When normal strategies don’t work The benchmark mentality—usually by age 6 Using resources Become fluent in your child’s language The problem-solving approach, and tweaking and tweaking and tweaking Joy in the growth of the child Self-care for parents is important! Asher joins in on the podcast for special episodes!  What does “joyful courage” mean to you? “Having peace and joy is something I want parents to have in their experience. It takes a lot of courage to show up and be vulnerable in your relationship with your child and to lean into it. Embrace what is and notice the little things that bring peace and happiness.” Resources:www.tiltparenting.com Connect on Debbie’s Facebook group also! The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rebecca Michi, a children's sleep consultant and mother of two daughters, shares tips on sleep issues. Topics include unique sleep patterns, bedtime routines, negotiating choices, teens' sleep patterns, and the importance of sleep. The podcast also explores the challenges of transitioning children to independent sleeping and creating a positive sleep environment.

I am THRILLED to have my friend, mentor and CO-CONSPIRATOR on the show today to talk about being women, mamas, and our middle school girl's workshop, GLAM CAMP 2016! Krista Petty Raimer is the founder of Boldly Embody Life and a beacon of lite and transformation to all who have the pleasure of crossing paths with her.Take a little time to listen in and hear what we are up to and consider what it means to be a caretaker of the daughter you have... :)Check out GLAM CAMP here!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Sarah MacLaughlin, a compassion coach, child behavior decoder, parent educator, author, speaker, and warrior for kindness. Sounds like a busy woman, doesn’t she? There is more! She is also the mother of an eight-year-old and is a licensed social worker in Maine. Sarah was a guest for Episode 30, when she discussed Setting Limits. I’m so excited to have her back to help us make sense out of some of the troubling current events in our country. How do we raise our kids to treat ALL people with dignity and respect in the midst of a predominantly white culture? How are we raising our kids to make a better world? Join us for this important and timely conversation.What you’ll hear in this episode: The responsibility of parents today Stop talking and LISTEN! Making it all make sense to kids Implicit bias: What is it? Being rich vs. being wealthy Why we fear discomfort Our hierarchal society (it exists) Finding opportunities for diversity What’s NORMAL? The anti-bias classroom Why we can’t ignore US history Why being “colorblind” is NOT the answer Kids—they are ALWAYS watching! How to confront others and express your discomfort Is your home “whitewashed”? Resources:www.sarahmaclaughlin.comUse Sarah’s name to find her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.Love First: Parenting to Reduce Racism, Sexism, Homophobia and Other Forms of Hate, by Sarah MacLaughlinLaying the Groundwork for Acceptance and Inclusion, by Sarah MacLaughlinTalking to my White Child About Race, by Sarah MacLaughlin 40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child, by Barbara Mathias EDITORIAL: What I Said When My White Friend Asked For My black Opinion on White Privilege, by Lori Lakin Hutcherson Thoughts From A Middle Class White Mama, by Casey O'Roarty White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh Another Round podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest for today’s show is Tracy Cutchlow, the author of Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science (and What I’ve Learned So Far). The book fulfills Tracy’s passion to help new parents with information and support as they embark on the parenthood journey. Tracy also writes a blog and articles for the Washington Post and Huffington Post. Tracy and her husband, Luke, live in Seattle, where they enjoy life with their four-year- old daughter, Geneva. Unbelievably, Tracy wrote her book during the first 18 months of Geneva’s life! We’ll talk about the tools and wisdom in her book and the topic of helping our youngest children develop a growth mindset. Join us!What you’ll hear in this episode: The unusual format in her book that makes it helpful for busy, new parents Development challenges of very young children “How many times do I have to tell you?” Why children follow their desires (even when they don’t follow OUR desires) Our expectations vs. normal development Why parenting education should be included in well-child visits to the pediatrician Behaviors: Why they meet the child’s innate needs of experience, power, and connection Why children seek connection, but will settle for attention Look at their behavior through the lens of their needs. Growth mindset: What is it? Acknowledgement vs. praise: What’s the difference? How empathy fits naturally into the growth mindset What it takes is small tweaks in our language Why our kids NEED to make mistakes The power of teaching kids about their brains What does Joyful Courage mean to you? “It means taking action, but having a lightness and a playfulness—looking for the good instead of the bad.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Excited to dig into sibling rivalry today on the Ask Casey episode!!A listener wrote in:My kids - particularly my 8 and 9 yo - feel like they have to compete with each other all the time. Every time one does something/gets something different from the other, they tend to mention to the other almost like a taunt. I think on one hand they want their sibling to be happy for them (like mom or dad would be), and on the other hand, I think they want to show how much more special they are. Even if it is innocent, the other kid will still take it as a put down as if it's expected and react with shock, become grudgingly upset, and whining. It is so annoying and constant. It even goes so far as every question I ask has to be directed at one individual bc they will get upset over who answers first. They will even just smile in a nonverbal taunting sort of way to get the other one upset. This happens anytime of day from when they first get up to evening. It happens at home, in the car, in the store. They don't usually do it if there are other kids their age or a little older around - I think bc they get embarrassed. I've seen them snap out of it instantly. It seems to happen less at bedtime maybe because of routine and parent led family time? When it happens my physical response is to get tense in my face and jaw, my breath gets short, and then I feel tension in my shoulders. Emotionally, I start to feel exasperated.  Yes, this is all probably normal on some level and we are working deliberately to include special/individual child led time with each kid. Bugs and wishes has helped bc they feel like others hear them and respect them more. Just looking for the next step to take it to the next level.  We don't want to foster competition in our family we value working together and supporting one another. I want them to be able to be happy for their sibling without feeling less. I feel like just writing this out is helping form some ideas to try, but I would love to hear yours as I'm sure mine are not the only kids who tend to do this. (I was fiercely and painfully competitive with my sister growing up). Resources for parenting siblings: Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen Siblings Without Rivalry by Faber and Mazlish Peaceful Parent, Happy Sibling by Dr. Laura Markham Eps 37: Dr. Laura Markham on holding space for siblings to get along::::::::::Listeners!!! Chime in!! What are your tips/thoughts/experiences around sibling rivalry??Join the conversation on the live and love with joyful courage pageIf you have questions for an Ask Casey episode, fill out the form and send it my way!!::::::::::THANK YOU!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kate Orson is on the podcast today, and I absolutely love where our conversation went!!Kate's bio from her website:KAte is a Hand in Hand parenting instructor, and author of Tears Heal: How To Listen To Children. Originally from the UK she now live in Basel, Switzerland, with her husband, author Toni Davidson, and our four year old daughter Ruby.Kate has written articles for a number of different parenting magazines including The Green Parent, Juno and Smallish.Kate offer parenting workshops, consultations, both online via skype or in person.I reached out to Kate to talk about getting children's cooperation around chores. In talking to her, and learning more about the Hand In Hand parenting approach, our conversation lead us down the road to understanding how intentional listening and presence with children can invite the very cooperation we are looking for.Kate wrote an article titled 25 Tips for Having Fun While Cleaning UpHere is the Montessori list of age appropriate chores ((super helpful!))Things to remember when we are hoping for cooperation: set limits lightness play show faith and trust your child's ability listen practice special time More about "stay listening"::::::::::Where to find Kate:website i facebook i twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices