Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Join me this week as I dig into the ways that our human-ness can get the better of us, even when we are the parenting coach!! I share about a recent interaction that I didn't love with. my own son, why it is hard to hold our teens in their light, and how to do better.See full show notes at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-392-SOLO -importance-holding-teens-capable Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is AJ Crabill.  AJ and I have a great conversation this week about school boards and the education system. AJ explains why adults are hesitant & sometimes resistant to changing the way schools operate and why we need to teach resilience (not just make things easier for our kids). AJ shares exactly what student-led restorative practices are and the benefits that come with them. I love hearing all the overlap between AJ’s work and Positive Discipline: the sense of belonging, classroom meetings, a focus on repair, and teaching life skills. We dig into why student behavior will not and cannot change until adult behavior changes. I ask AJ exactly what school boards do, how members get elected, and how parents can get involved effectively and usefully with the board. AJ finishes up by inviting parents to stand up and be the difference maker at their children’s schools. Takeaways from the show Student-led restorative practices  Why adults are resistant to changing the way schools operate  The importance of students feeling of belonging  Teaching & parenting in a way that builds resiliency  The overlap between student-led restorative practice & Positive Discipline  Student outcomes don’t change until adult behavior changes  How can parents get involved usefully with the school board & school leadership?  What exactly does the school board do? For more show notes, including full transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parents are often drawn to "do something" when their kids are making mistakes - but tough love (and by tough love I mean punitive consequences and punishment - taking things away, grounding our kids, isolation, yelling, blaming, silent treatments) doesn't typically deliver what you may intend for it to deliver.There is another way to frame it, another way to think about what our teens need to thrive into young adulthood.Listen in as I tease it apart during today's solo show!Find out more at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts//3-myths-tough-love-what-teens-need Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Dr. Emily Kline. Dr. Kline shares all kinds of useful information this week around why and how we can communicate with our adolescents with the best results. We touch on relinquishing control and asking curiosity questions, then we dig in deep into what motivational interviewing is and why it’s so helpful. I ask Dr. Kline what motivational interviewing might look like when a teenager is using marijuana, and we agree that the best tool we have to influence our adolescents is relationship. Dr. Kline shares tips on how to start tricky conversations and what you can learn in the first 10 seconds. She tells me what limits, consequences, boundaries, etc. look like to her, what we do when teens disregard those limits, and listening for motivation to change.  Takeaways from the show Relinquishing control  Motivational interviewing Teens trying marijuana  The best tool for influence is relationship  Staying respectful & curious  How to deliver advice & why we listen first  Staying neutral & consistent around hard conversations   Expectations & limits without punishments  Avoiding socially isolating consequences  Listening for motivation for change For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week's solo shows explores the iceberg and the belief behind our teens behavior in a new way. We have been here before and I am bringing you back to get ever better and teasing apart what it is your teen needs, and how you a can meet them there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m really excited to introduce Dr. Norrine Russell to you all.  Dr. Russell has truly walked the walk with her own complex children which has changed her parenting & professional paths. Dr. Russell shares what she loves about her work, what hurdles complex kids face in traditional schooling, and what parents can do to help support their atypical kids as learners. She talks on why teens need to figure out what they’re good at and how important it is to tell your teens how much you love them and the strengths you see (empowering encouragement, anyone?). I ask Dr. Russell how families can scaffold to support their complex kids, and we discuss how important it is to listen and observe your own teen, as well as how much individualizing you can do in your home to support your adolescent. We talk about how to reframe it when your kids look like “they don’t care” and whether or not “trying their best” is a reasonable and helpful expectation. Dr. Russell also shares her thoughts on motivation, laziness, ADHD, rewards, & consequences. We finish up talking about how to get teens to buy-in to coaching and what Dr. Russell wishes parents knew about complex teens.  Takeways from the show: School angst & school struggles for complex kids  Lack of flexibility, training, & resources in schools  Helping teens figure out what they are good at  The importance of “I love you” & encouraging atypical kids  Listening to & observing your teen  Individualizing things at home  Watch & wait before jumping in to help  Are “doing their best” and “trying their hardest” helpful & reasonable expectations?    When teens “don’t care” & what teens do care about  Appearing lazy, ADHD, & motivation Getting adolescents to buy-in to coaching For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Another intimate exploration of what it means to be human WHILE raising teenagers. We are deep diving (yet again) into our own stuff. This week focusing on the limiting beliefs we may be holding that keeps our kids small, and the war between our two selves. Join me for some personal growth and discovery! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so glad that you are back with me and my amazing guest, Jayne Demsky.  So many of you have talked to me about school avoidance and how to navigate this, and we’re digging in deep this week! The good thing - there is hope! Jayne shares her story & why she’s so passionate about school avoidance, and why we can’t just “make them go.” Jayne talks about different therapy options like CBT & exposure therapy, the school’s role, underlying causes, & advocating for your child. We discuss how hard school refusal is on the parents & adults and why punitive consequences do not help. I ask Jayne what parents should do first when they start seeing school avoidance or refusal, and we finish by chatting about education reform & improving schools for kids and how parents can self-care during challenging times. Takeaways from the show What is school avoidance & school refusal?  What are the signs?  CBT & exposure therapy  The school’s role  Underlying causes  Advocating for your child  Why punitive consequences don’t work  When to intervene & what to do first  Self-care for parents For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Emotional Freight Train is REAL and can take us on wild rides - especially during the teen years, There is no better way to shut down communication with a young person than to come at them with all the emotion of the EFT. Listen to this week's solo show for solidarity, communication skills, and tips for staying off that train! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest this week is Dr. Shefali Tsabary, and we’re having a special conversation to celebrate Mother’s Day!Dr. Shefali tells me all about writing her book, “A Radical Awakening: Turn Pain into Power, Embrace Your Truth, Live Free” and how her divorce freed her up for a phenomenal, liberating transformation. Dr. Shefali shares about how we’re conditioned and indoctrinated from childhood and how women can lead the way away from that. We dig into owning your part of the dynamic in different relationships and how much work & courage accountability actually takes. I share a story about my marriage and my expectations, and we compare the difference between letting go and giving up. Dr. Shefali shares her wisdom on how we can challenge our obedience to culture and belief systems.  Takeaways from the show Dr. Shefali’s book: “A Radical Awakening: Turn Pain into Power, Embrace Your Truth, Live Free” Pain & grief from divorce  Seeing the life experiences that interrupt your plan as opportunities  Conditioning & indoctrination from childhood  Accountability & owning your part in relationship dynamics  Letting go of expectations for others you’re in relationship with  Giving up versus letting go Obedience to cultural standards  Challenging your belief systems For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices