Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca sympathize with this mom and reflects on how great it would be if we could choose our kid's friends - but offer a mindset shift for why that actually wouldn't be healthy. - Who to turn to for support to help you determine what your best course of action might be. - A statement you can say to your child that can help you begin to understand why they may be exhibiting more clingy behaviors. - How to get to the root of your own anxieties and fears so you can determine what you might be projecting onto your kids versus what are actual issues they need support navigating. - What to avoid saying to your child that may unintentionally cause them to pull away from you. - A formula you can use (that works with children of all ages!) to help you know whether the questions you are asking your child will likely be helpful or may lead to increased pressure. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachments in peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that will help you empower your daughter with media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

When journalist and author Stephanie Foo was diagnosed with Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), she left her job and devoted herself to healing—a journey she chronicled in her bestselling memoir, What My Bones Know. Now, as a mother, she's navigating what it means to parent with complex trauma, balancing the high-alert nervous system that comes with C-PTSD while trying to stay present for her child. In this powerful conversation, Stephanie shares: - The difference between PTSD and C-PTSD—and why relational healing is essential for many forms of trauma. - How motherhood reshapes the brain and why it can trigger fight-or-flight responses. - The unique challenges of rupture and repair with a child versus an adult. - Why parents with complex trauma may struggle with isolation and finding a supportive community can be so helpful. - The strategies that have helped Stephanie most, all of which are useful for any parent, with or without trauma. If you've ever felt like parenting is unearthing deep, unresolved parts of yourself, this episode offers both insight and hope. LEARN MORE ABOUT STEPHANIE: https://www.stephaniefoo.me/ READ STEPHANIE'S BOOK: 📚 What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@foofoofoo 📱 @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: Why the "Still-Face" Experiment Was a Game-Changer The Strange Situation CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 186. Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham 🎧 204. The science of "mom-rage" and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston 🎧 272. Maternal health, dyadic work, and IFS: Why specialized mental healthcare providers matter with Rebecca Geshuri and Paige Bellenbaum

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca debate whether mom-guilt is inherent to all mothers or a societally structured construct (Spoiler: Dr. Rebecca wins this battle!) - The critical distinction between distress and guilt and why one can be a destructive grenade in parenting. - Releasing guilt is a form of activism - we're explaining why. - How to course correct once you've noticed you're parenting from a space of guilt. - The question to ask yourself that can help guide your behaviors as a parent that come from a place of attunement and trust, rather than guilt or fear. - Using a "values-driven" distinction to help you determine the root reasons you are making certain decisions, and how bringing this into your consciousness can be helpful. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about turning parenthood into a career asset with Lauren Smith Brody 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing working parent guilt with Daisy Dowling 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing parenthood, partnership, and work with Dr. Yael Schonbrun WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Girls are often sent messages that can leave them feeling unseen, unheard, and boxed in by societal expectations. How can we as parents help them challenge these limiting narratives and grow into their full potential? In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein to explore: - How societal norms shape girls' self-perception, from the "pink frilly dress" phase to body image struggles in their teens. - Research statistics that will blow your mind on everything from when gender bias begins, how widespread it is, and its impact on everything from what parents Google to how often girls and boys are called on in school. - How to examine and confront the gender stereotypes we unknowingly pass on to our kids when so much of it is unconscious. - Practical strategies to help kids understand and navigate the societal messages they encounter. Including a simple yet powerful hack for challenging gender roles when reading children's books. - Actionable advice for fostering resilience and confidence in girls, as well as how to teach boys to work alongside girls to combat toxic masculinity. If you want to help your kids break free from limiting narratives and thrive as their authentic selves, this episode is a must-listen! LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JO-ANN: https://www.joannfinkelstein.com/ READ DR. JO-ANN'S BOOK: 📚 Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World JOIN JO-ANN'S SUBSTACK: 📖 The Feminist Parent FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱@joannfinkelstein.phd @joannfinkelstein.phd 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📺 Ada Twist, Scientist 📺 Vida the Vet CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Secure attachment vs. social media: Navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser? 🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... - Exactly when we'd recommend you tell your child that you're pregnant. - Why it's important to help your child make sense of what is happening in their life—and the conclusions they can jump to if we don't share things (in a developmentally appropriate manner) with them. - A conversation starter and basic script you can use to introduce this concept to your young child. - How these dynamics can change depending on if it's the second, third, or fourth baby you're welcoming. - The types of topics you want to try to cover (and which ones to try to avoid) when you first tell your child you are pregnant. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about going from one to two with Lindsay Ellingson 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do during pregnancy to make you less vulnerable to postpartum anxiety 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about movement during pregnancy and beyond with Dr. Megan Roche WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Grief isn't something we get over—it's something we integrate. Joining me to discuss this and the best way to support children through profound loss is Dr. Dan Wolfson, a clinical psychologist specializing in grief. In this episode we explore: - The skills needed for fostering resilience and helping children and adults learn to grieve in a healthy manner. - The importance of "oscillation" through grief and how Dr. Dan works with his patients to help them learn to process their feelings without these emotions completely overtaking them. - How to help determine when and how it's time for your child (or you) to go back to things like extracurricular activities, birthday parties, and other "normal" ways of reengaging with life. - Parents are often hesitant to show their own grief to their children, however, this can be a helpful form of modeling. We discuss appropriate ways to share your emotions with your child. - Typical behaviors and regressions we often see in children who are processing profound sadness and difficult emotions, so you know what to be on the lookout for. If you or your child are navigating profound loss, this conversation is here to remind you that healing isn't linear, and you don't have to do it alone. LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. DAN: https://www.wolfsontherapy.com/danwolfson LEARN MORE ABOUT EXPERIENCE CAMPS: https://experiencecamps.org/about-us FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@wolfsontherapy 📱 @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. 📚 The Invisible String CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 192. Death, grief, and parenting: How we can help our kids make sense of and make peace with death with Rabbi Steve Leder 🎧 194. Confronting death to find a deeper meaning in life: A continuation of my conversation with Rabbi Steve Leder 🎧 70. Helping children process, accept and understand death with death doula Heather Hogan

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - First things first, why are schools still sending out candy grams in this current climate with a loneliness epidemic on the rise? - Cliques and posses that form in middle school are often rife with envy, jealousy, gossip, and temptation - how to help our kids navigate this. - What advice to give your child when they are left out in a friend group. - How to help a child who tends to avoid conflict in their interpersonal relationships build a greater tolerance for joining in and addressing things directly. - "There is a difference between a kid who says 'I am going to let this go' vs. 'I am going to hold this in.'" - Understanding "social currency" and how that impacts children, especially as they move into the stage of development where their attention begins to move away from their parents and much more heavily toward their peers. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking with your teen with Elizabeth Bennett 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about respond to your child who you think is bullying other kids 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about social media's impact on your child's attachment security with Dr. Miriam Steele WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Do you know the signs of postpartum depression? Many parents (and even medical professionals) often miss diagnosing new mothers with a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. Here to help shed light on this important topic is Board-Certified OB/GYN and author of the upcoming book, Then Comes Baby, Dr. Jessica Vernon. In this episode we explore: - Why postpartum mental health conditions are so often overlooked—even in medical training. - The types of questions Dr. Jessica started asking her prenatal and postpartum patients that allowed them the space to open up and reveal the struggles they were experiencing. - How the 6-week check-in after birth become the standard practice and what birthing people can expect of their bodies and minds at the 6-week mark. - Why women experiencing mental health struggles in postpartum are so prone to feelings of guilt and shame - even though there is no difference between medical risks and mental health risks, as a society we tend to attach more shame to mental health challenges. - What is matrescence and how is it revolutionizing the way we view early motherhood. - Managing our expectations with the realization that reality and our fantasies often don't match up and how that can cause struggles - from birth, to feeding, postpartum, and early parenthood. - Free moms groups, books, and other resources for expecting and new parents. Whether you're pregnant, newly postpartum, or a professional working with new parents, this episode offers essential insights into how we can improve postpartum care and support maternal mental health. LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JESSICA: https://www.drjessicavernon.com/ PRE-ORDER DR. JESSICA'S BOOK: 📚 Then Comes Baby: An Honest Conversation about Birth, Postpartum, and the Complex Transition to Parenthood ARE YOU A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL? Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for The Good Mom/Bad Mom Loop, a 3-hour workshop on 2/27 designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms. FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱 @drsarahbren 📱 @dr.jessicavernon, Jessica Vernon, Jessica Vernon, MD, FACOG, PMH-C ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📚 Ordinary Insanity: Fear and the Silent Crisis of Motherhood in America 📚 Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood ✨ Postpartum Support International CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Going back to work after baby: Maintaining a healthy and secure attachment bond 🎧 How to lighten the load in pregnancy and postpartum with Dr. Sterling 🎧 A breakdown of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) 🎧 Sex after baby - Part I and Part II

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - Even if we aren't adding more pressure onto our kids, the world often pushes external achievements on them - how can parents push back against this? - Why trying to problem-solve with your child may seem like it's supporting them, but could actually be perpetuating their anxiety. - The one pillar you can use as a parent to guide all your interactions with your child that can help to defuse the pressure they feel, rather than inadvertently adding to it. - Saying grades don't matter is like saying, "throw your sense of control out the window." What to say instead. - Our society glorifies perfectionism, but in reality, kids who engage in highly perfectionist tendencies tend to have higher anxiety and internalize their stress, which can lead to missed signs that they need support. What are the signs they are crossing a concerning threshold of perfectionism? - We describe a helpful thought exercise you can try with your child today. WANT ADDITIONAL SUPPORT? 👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning style myths with Dr. Dan Willingham 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child cope with anxiety with Dr. Terri Bacow WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

How does attachment security relate to codependency? The Codependent Perfectionist, Alana Carvalho, LMHC, is here to explore just that! In this episode, we cover it all: - How does codependency fit into the attachment system? - Does this sound like what you're struggling with in your relationship? We're reviewing some of the most common challenges partners face when one person is more avoidant, and the other is more anxious. - Challenging perceptions of what is necessary in a relationship. When we see the world through dysfunctional patterns, we are often unaware of this dysfunction. - The differences between missatunement versus misperception and how understanding this difference can help us get on the same page on both! - A tangible exercise you can do with your partner to help you create a stronger dynamic (and why this works to not kick up a threat response, and helps them stay engaged in the conversation more successfully.) Whether you're struggling with relational patterns or looking to better understand your partner, this episode offers powerful insights and tools for cultivating healthier relationships. LEARN MORE ABOUT ALANA: https://www.alanacarvalho.com/ TAKE THE QUIZ: https://www.alanacarvalho.com/the-codependent-perfectionist-quiz/ READ ALANA'S BOOK: 📚 Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist's Guide to Parenting FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @thecodependentperfectionist @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🎧 Listen to Alana's first Securely Attached episode, Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships? 🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan