
You Are Not Broken
Empowering women (and the partners who love them) to live their best mid lives. Combining the power of mind-work, body-science and relationships, I joyously smash the societal barriers that are keeping us from living our best intimate lives. Whether you are young or past menopause, single or in a long-term relationship, it is never too late or too early to realize YOU ARE NOT BROKEN. With humor, candor and ease, I break down the stories that we have been told about being sexual beings, to help us play, and normalize our intimacy and health. Nothing in this podcast is personal medical advice, of course.
Latest episodes

7 snips
Jul 30, 2023 • 1h 3min
222. Estrogen Matters with Dr. Avrum Bluming
Estrogen Matters with Dr. Avrum Bluming
Avrum Bluming received his MD from the Columbia College of
Physicians and Surgeons. He spent four years as a senior investigator for the National Cancer Institute.
He organized the first study of lumpectomy for the treatment
of breast cancer in Southern California in 1978, and for more than two decades he has been studying the benefits and risks of hormone replacement therapy administered to women with a history of breast cancer. Dr. Bluming has served as a clinical professor of medicine at USC and is the co-author of “Estrogen Matters: why taking hormones in menopause can improve women’s wellbeing and lengthen their lives – without raising the risk of breast cancer” with Dr. Carol Tavris.
Hear his story about how he became the advocate for hormones and hormones after breast cancer.
So many people think correlation = causation – case with E and breast cancer – just poor
education in our population?
“we don’t know what causes breast cancer” – can people handle a grey world?
Estrogen receptor positive doesn’t mean estrogen caused the cancer – discuss
Dispel the myth that early puberty and late menopause is a breast cancer risk – dogma – “lifetime exposure” – but women with lots of pregnancies have lower risk.
Should we just work on a re-brand? Go on HRT because if you do get breast cancer you will do better than if you weren’t on it?
How do aromatase inhibitors work? People call them “estrogen blockers” so people think estrogen causes cancer and recurrence.
Why only in post-menopausal women?
What’s with adipose tissue? People always say it is because adipose tissue increases estrogen – is it estrone ?? Or inflammation?
Doctors don’t want to be sued. Do you know of any doctor getting sued for giving hormones in general or after breast cancer?
If estrogen is FDA approved for prevention of osteoporosis – why did the USPSTF say no to prevention and why are we screening for osteoporosis so late (age 65?)
Do you agree with the USPSTF about no for prevention.
Your opinion of Progestin causing Breast cancer"
Is the placebo arm bad?
Is the risk not actually that high – from 2-4%
Is it the synthetic progestin?
Everyone’s talking about dementia now – Dr. Bluming’s take
There are 25 studies showing E is safe after breast cancer and 20 review studies– and the HABITS trial is the only one that shows local recurrence and is flawed – how many studies are enough?
Advice for younger physicians who care about this work?
Do you think the world is just crazy? How does Dr. Bluming cope?
We discuss the new Danish study in the British Medical Journal and dissect the data to dispel the fear.
http://www.instagram.com/estrogenmatters
https://estrogenmatters.com/
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Jul 23, 2023 • 57min
221. Genitourinary Syndrome Of Menopause 101
Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause 101.
This is an interview I did with my friend and co-founder of a menopause clinic Alloy, Monica Molenaar.
Why I care about women and sex and hormones
The definition of menopause and how we aren’t educated about what menopause actually is and the symptoms that can arise
Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause
The types of bladder leakage and how
estrogen can help
The different types of estrogen –
vaginal and systemic
Why we need vaginal estrogen even when we are not sexually active
Why I have a cream bias with vaginal estrogen, and other options.
Vaginal estrogen will not help your hot flashes.
Myths about who can and can’t use
vaginal estrogen.
Biologic changes of the
skin of the vulva after menopause
How the clitoris works.
Scream Cream – what it is and does it work.
Favorite lubes and I explain why I like what I like
Gen X is the lowest users of vibrators in America
There are many papers showing transdermal estrogen does not increase your clot risk above what it already is.
I explain the Women’s Health Initiative study and how it hurt women by creating fear.
Vaginal estrogen is equivalent in efficacy to the common overactive bladder medications. Why not restore function instead of taking
the side effects of the overactive bladder medications?
When should you stop using
your seatbelt, sunscreen and vaginal estrogen?
Urinary tract infections put people in the hospital and kill them – this is not a hangnail.
Can estrogen alone help all pain with sex?
What do they new Menopause guidelines say about the window for starting systemic hormones and how long can you take them.
The role of androgens and testosterone in the genitals.
ACOG Position Statement of using vaginal estrogen in breast cancer patients
https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/clinical-consensus/articles/2021/12/treatment-of-urogenital-symptoms-in-individuals-with-a-history-of-estrogen-dependent-breast-cancer
Vagina Obscura by Rachel Gross https://amzn.to/46XHChX
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Jul 16, 2023 • 32min
220. Orgasmic vs. Hormonal "use it or lose it", Teen Sex Ed, PRP for ED, HPV jabs, Creating Desire, and more on July's Live Podcast
Welcome to July's Live Podcast
Orgasmic versus hormonal Use it or lose it
Studies on Teen Sex Ed, PRP for ED, HPV jabs, Creating Desire and more!
Sex Ed matters:https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-021-11388-2
Did you get my “You Are Not Broken” Book
Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK
Get in the Free
FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/youarenotbroken/
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Adult Sex Ed Master Class: https://www.kellycaspersonmd.com/adult-sex-ed
Join my
membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without
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Jul 9, 2023 • 50min
219. When Sex Hurts - With Dr. Krapf
When Sex Hurts – Dr. Krapf
Dr. Jill Krapf is a gynecologist specializing in
vulvovaginal disorders in Tampa, FL
Dr. Krapf is active in
research and has published chapters and peer-reviewed articles on vulvodynia, vulvar dermatoses, and hypoactive sexual desire disorder. She is Associate Editor for the Journal of Sexual Medicine, as well as for the textbook Female Sexual Pain Disorders, 2nd Edition.
Love Dr. Krapf? Check out my other
episodes #131 – National Lichen Sclerosis Day and #172 – Vulvar Itch
Why write a 2nd edition of
the book “When Sex Hurts”?
How common is pain with sex for women?
Often times with pain with sex there is
a physical cause, but you can’t always see it.
Pelvic pain and pain with sex is very
isolating and people feel very alone.
People don’t know how to talk about it.
What happens after the pain is fixed.
What does “all in your head” mean and
why people don’t like that.
“Those who perceive their partners as
kind and understanding report more intense pain than women whose partners have responses that promote adaptive coping.” – what! What is adaptive coping?
How to communicate your pain to your partner
and your doctor.
What if you are a partner of someone
with dyspareunia - - “best partner response is having a partner who engages in
what researches call facilitative responses – affection and encouragement to cope with the pain in an adaptive way, such as by focusing on pleasure, deep breathing or positive thoughts while experiencing the pain.”
We talk about stress, sex and the gut –
things like irritable bowel syndrome related to pain with sex?
The role of birth control pills and
pelvic pain and health. In her book, “When Sex Hurts” they talk about Yaz
(drospirenone) and pelvic pain – a prospective study of women’s genitals and sexual function prior to starting Yasmin – and then after three months-
decreased clitoris, decreased blood flow, decreased labia minora, decreased libido, fewer orgasms and more dyspareunia.
The role of testosterone in pelvic pain
– one study showing women with higher androgen levels have less work related neck and shoulder pain then women with low androgen and differing levels of Testosterone may explain some of the gender related differences in pain
perception
The difficulty in giving testosterone to women and the problem with pellets.
Recurrent Yeast Infections – Dr. Krapf helps
us
Our podcast sponsor today is AG1. Use AG1 to build a foundation for better health.
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Sex Hurts ”https://amzn.to/460TP4V
https://jillkrapfmd.com/
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Jul 2, 2023 • 1h 27min
218. The Best Sex Ed You Never Had
The Best Sex Ed You Never Had
We all got a sex education – it just wasn’t accurate.
My Sex Ed course is coming out this Month! Get on the email list to join when it opens.
This was a talk I gave to medical doctors for a residency
program continuing education lecture.
Seasons of sexuality
Stress and sexuality
The importance of self-care in sexuality
Communication and sexuality
Sex as a skill that can be improved
Sexuality and gender equality
Stop Should-ing all over your sex life
If you got decent sex ed you were lucky
Sex is Complex – therefore so so interesting
Biopsychosocial
Your sexuality is not a fixed asset
Orgasms are good for us
Your biggest sex organ is your brain
Night shifts wreak your sexual function – any gender
Sex is dopamine, and we have cheaper dopamine in our current
society which competes with sex.
Defining heteronormativity
What Society tell us about sex (and is wrong about)
Pro tip: desire mismatch is normal
Pro tip: Why do you want to have sex? FEELINGS – list three
-
If partnered: do you know theirs?
Orgasmic Inequality is real.
The Heteronormative Theory of Low Desire in Women Partnered
with Men
How Freud messed us up in regards to sex.
Do you actually “fall out of love” or does your brain
habituate and you are craving newness and dopamine?
Cognitive distractions are bad for good sex. Mindfulness and meditation can help.
How to improve sex as a skill
Relationship between sex and sexuality (sensuality) and ways to improve sex drive
How to have a balanced life, not put sexual health on the back burner
Stress effects on sexuality
Resources
-
You are not broken book
-
Becoming Cliterate
-
Your body is not an apology
-
Sex and Sexuality podcast
-
How to find a sex therapist
o
AAASECT.org
Take one action toward achieving a fulfilled life
Why does sex end when the male ejaculates?
The heteronormative definition of sex is not good for
anybody.
What we make lubrication mean.
How does your pelvic know that it is sexy time? Remember brain and pelvic arousal.
Our lack of ability to communicate to our partner’s about
why we want sex hurts us.
So many things about sex are aren’t actually about sex.
How to help post partum people and their partner’s
understand what is happening after birthing a baby. The biologic and psychosocial
component behind this
Even though we are not taught about sex, we are told things
about sex all the time.
Women: men didn’t get any more sex ed than we did….we have
to communicate our needs to them.
How to communicate about sex.
What does sensuality mean?
Don’t forget to desire things you already have.
What are your top three feelings you want to have during sex.
If you can’t turn off your frontal lobe you may have trouble with
orgasms.
Challenge your limiting beliefs about sex.
Figure out your obstacles to a good sex life – now you have the
pathway. The obstacles are the way.
Tips from people who have magnificent sex.
Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK
Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are
created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes.
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Jun 25, 2023 • 27min
217. Medical Issues Of The Clitoris – 2023 Clitoris Summit Talk
This is my talk I gave at the 2023 Clitoris Summit
https://clitoris.io/summit2023
I discuss the bias that women’s sexual health is all in her
head.
We can’t neglect the “bio” part of all bodies.
9% of urologists in the United States are female – which is
about 1,000 surgeons.
Orgasms are good for us, but so often are considered “bonuses”
Don’t forget the “psychosocial” part of sexuality.
Clitoral Adhesions
Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause
Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder
What to do about blunted orgasms? New guidelines on female orgasm coming soon!
Our podcast partner is Firmtech – use
code “NOTBROKEN” for 15% off
https://myfirmtech.com/?sca_ref=3901627.saeQB3wieI
Did you
get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK
Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are
created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and
episodes.
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Jun 18, 2023 • 47min
216. Confidence and Swagger in the Bedroom - YouSeeLogic to the Rescue!
Adult Sexy Time Sucks – YouSeeLogic to the Rescue!
Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai is a sex-positive pelvic health
physical therapist, sexuality educator and counselor. YouSeeLogic is her platform
that focuses on improving the sexual intelligence of adults through innovative
content and honest discussion that is free of judgement.
What was Dr. Ossai’s path to get here?
What is intersectionality how does it affect people’s sexuality?
What is Burbon talez?
Why did you write: Sexy swagger a guide to reimagining your sex
life
So much of her work surrounds the role of confidence in one’s
sexuality – She talks about this and gives us some top tips.
Sexual stereotypes hurt all humans – we discuss some stereotypes
we might not be aware of and how we can be better informed.
Swagger Tip #99: Diversity and inclusion is basically the
foundation of good sex.
How to own your sexy – and confidence isn’t static.
“Confidence is a process” – Dr. Uchenna
Swagger Tip #103 : Take up more space.
How to communicate with your partner about sex.
What does being “erotic” mean?
Embrace pleasure as the antidote to oppression! What ! bring us
some news here!
What is your definition of a good lover?
https://www.instagram.com/youseelogic/
https://www.tiktok.com/@youseelogic
https://youseelogic.com/
Our podcast partner is Firmtech – use
code “NOTBROKEN” for 15% off
https://myfirmtech.com/?sca_ref=3901627.saeQB3wieI
Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK
Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are
created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and
episodes.
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Jun 11, 2023 • 43min
215. Penis Fitness – Sex Tech with FirmTech Founder Dr. Justin
Dr. Elliott Justin – founder and CEO of Firmtech
Our podcast partner is Firmtech – use code “NOTBROKEN” for 15% off
FirmTech’s rings help improve performance and sexual experience for all men not just those with ED. Award Winning Tech: Most Innovative Sex Toy (XBIZ); RunnerUp in Fitness & Health (CES Showstoppers)
Firm tech focuses on enjoyable sex for men of all ages, while empowering them to
better understand their health and the impact of medications, supplements, personal habits, vices and exercise on their sexual wellness.
We want to give you the data to make the best decisions for your sex health.
Dr. Justin started out as an emergency medicine doctor (treating ED - amazing story) – how he transitioned to sex tech
and founded a company?
The number of nocturnal erections you have is a marker of vascular health.
The penis is the canary in the coal mine of vascular disease.
No one knows what is normal in terms of numbers of nocturnal erections for men as they age.
“cock killer” drugs for men – SSRI and hypertension drugs, recreational drugs
Is there a number of times a week a man should have sex to “use it or lose it”?
Alcohol has a profound effect on erections.
Dr. Justin explains venous leak syndrome of the penis and what causes it.
How this Firmtech device actually works.
What is coming in the future for clitoral wearables?
https://www.instagram.com/myfirmtech/
https://myfirmtech.com/ use code “NOTBROKEN” for 15% off
https://wefunder.com/firmtech
Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK
Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are
created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and
episodes.
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Jun 4, 2023 • 34min
214. "I Want To Want" – Desire, Bigger Penises, The Orgasm Gap, Testosterone Decreases Breast Cancer
Member question: Lichen Sclerosis, decreased sensation and libido – I discuss two types of desire –
spontaneous and responsive and three options pharmacologically for low desire.
A couple options for if you "want to want": testosterone, Addyi and
Vyleesi.
Pneuma for penile girthiness
- if you want to be a shower.
The Orgasm Gap - as written by men
Testosterone is not associated with increased cardiovascular risk and associated decreased risk of breast cancer.
P Agrawal and others, Testosterone Therapy in Females Is Not Associated with
Increased Cardiovascular Risk – A US Claims Database Analysis, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Volume 20, Issue Supplement_1, May 2023, qdad060.014, https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdad060.014
Sexual Boredom in long term relationships contributes to low
desire.
L De Oliveira and others, (055) Sexual Boredom and Sexual Desire in Men and Women in
Long-term Relationships: A Latent Profile Analysis, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Volume 20, Issue Supplement_1, May 2023, qdad060.053, https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdad060.053
An obituary of Jaqueline Gold
Our Podcast Sponsor is Firmtech – use code “NOTBROKEN”
FirmTech’s rings help improve performance and sexual
experience for all men not just those with ED. https://myfirmtech.com/
Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK
Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are
created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and
episodes.
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May 28, 2023 • 53min
213. You Are More Than Just Your Breast Cancer - Hormones and Breast Cancer
You Are More Than Just Your Breast Cancer - Hormones and Breast Cancer
Dr. Corinne Menn is a board certified
OBGYN and North American Menopause Society Certified Menopause Practitioner.
She has a special interest in areas often
neglected in women's health: Perimenopause and menopause, the unique needs of
female cancer survivors and those at high risk for breast cancer.
Dr. Menn tells us her story of
breast cancer dx at age 28, going through menopause three times and is now a
pro-hormone educator.
Dr. Menn discusses taking
systemic hormones and her journey and how it has changed her life.
Why are doctors and patients so afraid of hormones?
Doctors are so risk adverse – but let’s talk about the risks of
not treating menopause.
The myth that estrogen causes cancer.
How Tamoxifen works.
Breast cancer nomenclature – estrogen positive – this doesn’t mean
estrogen caused the cancer – we clarify.
The nuance of being overweight and risk of breast cancer.
The number one killer of women with history of breast cancer is
heart disease.
Safety of systemic hormone replacement therapy in breast cancer
survivors
Article in Breast Cancer Research and Treatment · January 2022 –
Dr Bluming
-
"Twenty-five studies of HRT after a breast cancer diagnosis,
published between 1980 and 2013, are discussed, as are the 20 reviews of those
studies published between 1994 and 2021. Only 1 of the 25 studies, the HABITS
trial, demonstrated an increased risk of recurrence, which was limited to local
or contralateral, and not distant, recurrence. None of the studies, including
HABITS, reported increased breast cancer mortality associated with HRT. Even in
the HABITS trial, the absolute increase in the number of women who had a
recurrence (localized only) associated with HRT administration was 22. It is on
the basis of these 22 patients that HRT, with its demonstrated benefits for so
many aspects of women's health, is being denied to millions of breast cancer
survivors around the world."
The problem with the HABITS trial.
Why are we scaring women so much about breast cancer?
Who is the right breast cancer survivor to start hormones? A good
candidate?
Are we overtreating with aromatase inhibitors?
Podcast partnership today: Always Discreet
https://www.instagram.com/alwaysdiscreet/
Bluming AZ. Hormone Replacement Therapy After Breast Cancer:
It Is Time. Cancer J. 2022 May-Jun 01;28(3):183-190.
Young Survival Coalition
https://youngsurvival.org/
Vaginal Estrogen
for people with a history of breast cancer: https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/clinical-consensus/articles/2021/12/treatment-of-urogenital-symptoms-in-individuals-with-a-history-of-estrogen-dependent-breast-cancer
Dr. Menn is an Alloy Health Medical Advisor and Prescriber
www.myalloy.com
http://www.drmenn.com/
https://www.instagram.com/drmennobgyn
https://www.tiktok.com/@drmennobgyn
https://www.facebook.com/drmenn
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