Shameless Leadership

After graduating at the top of her MBA class and landing an interesting job, Barb Anderson suddenly found herself staring directly in the face of every parent's worst nightmare when her 18-month old son, Jude, was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. With this diagnosis, Barb was thrown into her new role as a "Momcologist," a position where she serves as chief advocate, medical officer and public relations expert for her family.  Jude's journey has defied all odds, surviving three relapses, two bone marrow transplants and travel across the United States for groundbreaking clinical trials. He is now approaching six months after his second bone marrow transplant (for which Barb was the donor) and recovering well. Barb loves living in the kind, vibrant city of Tucson, Arizona with her husband, Aidan, Jude and younger son, Finn. When not serving as a Momcologist, Barb loves to cook, drink wine, brew kombucha, and connect with friends & family. She is a double graduate of the University of Arizona with an undergraduate degree in Marketing and an MBA in Entrepreneurship.  I asked Barb to come on the show to talk about her story as a momcologist. She is going to walk us through the last 3 years of her life since Jude was diagnosed with Leukemia at just 18 months old.  Listen in to hear Barb share: How Jude was diagnosed  What life looks like with the ups and downs of pediatric cancer What kind of emotional turmoil remains even when the cancer is gone What it’s like to raise a sibling of a child with pediatric cancer What NOT to say (or send) to people fighting cancer The alarmingly low research funding that supports pediatric cancer  Links Mentioned:Jude’s Man and Woman of the Year Leukemia and Lymphoma Donation Page Team Jude inspirational merchandise order form   Book: The Emperor of Maladies Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you find yourself easily disappointed or frustrated by relationships and/or situations in your life, it’s time to take some #radicalresponsibility, friends.  You create your own experiences, for better or worse. You have more power than you think. Cause, let’s be honest, you’re a badass.  But even the baddest of asses hits a rough spot every now & then, right??  Here are a few tips to help you manage expectations:  Assume nothing Create win/wins Communicate, communicate, communicate, and then communicate some more Be assertive (not aggressive) Set boundaries Expect hiccups  When you put these practices in place, you will be able to much more accurately create the exact experiences you desire. You will also open the door for the people around you to do the same. Win/Win!!! This is especially valuable and helpful as we enter summer. What do you really want this summer? How are you going to get it? It’s up to YOU.  Links Mentioned:SMA Ep 8 with Lori Kennedy: Is Work/Life Balance Possible?Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sage B Hobbs is the author of Naked Communication. Sage spent more than ten years in counseling, education, and community outreach. Her work has spanned diverse communities, from public schools to a residential treatment program for teens. Her experience ranges widely, including life transitions, personal empowerment, work/life balance, education, family dynamics, youth behavior, fertility struggles, cancer recovery, and more.When not geeking out on coaching and business development, Sage can be found playing in the mountains with her adorable children and husband, on her yoga mat, or talking at length with a girlfriend. This was such a fun conversation. Two minutes into my conversation with Sage I felt like we had known each other for years. You’ll hear this throughout the conversation as we piggy back off each others thoughts. How interesting to have such a great connection when talking to someone about CONNECTION!  Sage is helping women show up, well, more naked. Before you panic, know that Naked Communication will mean different things to different women. But, embracing some of Sage’s philosophies and practices will really empower you to be more strong, powerful and capable in your conversations and your connections.  Listen in to hear Sage share: What Naked Communication means and why you more of need it Why the goal of every interaction should be connection (and how to make that happen) The power of mental flexibility and how to make it a game The truth about forgiveness and why it’s for YOU, not someone else The steps to a powerful and productive apology How to have One minute moments of courage that can transform your life and conversations How to pushing yourself can actually alleviate anxiety Why Ah-Ha moments are never really ah-ha moments  Links Mentioned:* Website: SageBHobbs.com* Book: Naked Communication by Sage B Hobbs* The ASK Formula Cheat Sheet: How to ask for what you want... and get it. http://www.sagebhobbs.com/ask-formula-cheat-sheet/* Learn about your own communication styles and patterns with free book chapters at http://www.sagebhobbs.com/naked-communication-book-free-chapters/* Sage on Facebook* Sage on Instagram * Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)        Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I very unexpectedly ended up on crutches last week. Although, I guess it’s rare that anyone plans to be on crutches…. In any case, crutches were NOT in my plan as I trained for an upcoming 10K or planned a trip to the beach for the holiday weekend.  But, I fell on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night (#41goingon86) and badly sprained my ankle. I spent the night at the ER – like the overnight – from 2:30-7:30am on a Saturday night - the best time to land one’s self at the ER, right?  I came home totally cool with my prognosis: no break (phew!!!), but a bad sprain, crutches for the foreseeable future, no weight bearing until I can get in to the orthopedist.  There is a time in my life – ok MOST of my life – that this whole turn of events would have sent me into a massive tailspin. I’m not one to live life spontaneously or embrace roadblocks. I like control. Like, all. the. time.  I have done a lot of work on myself in the last few years – work that allows me to take life in stride, even though that is not my nature. This work has pushed me to live my life in a Growth Mindset – seeing opportunity at every turn – even when I’m on my bedroom floor, screaming, in the fetal position, and about to barf because I’m sure I’ve broken my ankle in the middle of the night.  Listen in to this episode to hear how YOU can adopt a Growth Mindset and get rid of your Fixed Mindset tendencies that might be holding you back. I share 7 different practices and mindset examples that illustrate the difference between a Growth Mindset and a Fixed Mindset.  Understanding how to embrace a Growth Mindset will change everything about your life – from the way you parent (I give you some great examples) to the way you follow your professional ambitions. This is good stuff, friends.  Links Mentioned:Book: Mindset by Carol DweckSponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Lauren is on a mission to bring inclusivity and empathy to the forefront of fitness and health. She co-owns and operates Achieve Fitness in Boston with her husband, Jason, where they work daily to fulfill that mission. Lauren has been a personal trainer and strength coach for over 10 years, and she draws on her own past battle with body dysmorphic disorder to relate to and help others who may be going through similar struggles. When Lauren's not at the gym, she can be found spending time with her dog, Diesel, playing football, or relaxing on the beach in Cape Cod. Lauren wrote an article on her experience with Body Dysmorphic Disorder a few months ago and I was just blown away by her honesty and openness with her experience. I would venture to guess that most women have had body image struggles at one time or another. In Lauren’s experience, her struggles became pervasive and paralyzing.  I found myself able to relate to Lauren’s story in many ways. If you’ve ever struggled with body image, eating disorders and/or disordered eating, I think you’ll be inspired by Lauren’s journey.  Listen in to hear Lauren share:  What daily life is like with BDD  How she was paralyzed by BDD and her weight even though she was never actually overweight Why it is so hard for people with BDD and body image struggles to talk openly about it How sharing her story was a crucial part of her healing Her recommendations to other women who are struggling (…and why she doesn’t give advice)  How she wants to revolutionize the gym experience for women and marginalized populations   Links Mentioned: Achieve Fitness website: www.achievefitnessboston.comPersonal website: www.lauren_pak.comFacebook (business): www.facebook.com/achievefitnessbostonFacebook (personal): www.facebook.com/laurenp22Instagram (business): www.instagram.com/achievefitnessbostonInstagram (personal): www.instagram.com/laurenpak22Lauren’s blog post: My Experience with Body Dysmorphic Disorder and DepressionBook: Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela DuckworthBook: The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder by Katharine A. PhillipsWebsite: https://bdd.iocdf.org/about-bdd/ (an awesome resource that provides you with professionals as well as groups and programs based on your geographical location.)Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

By now you have heard me share all about how motherhood knocked me on my butt – BIG TIME. It took me longer than I like to admit to adjust to my new life as a mom and to resolve myself to the idea that I would never get my old life back.  My old life wasn’t really any better than my new mommy life (except for there was more time for sleep and wine) – but my old life was a life of predictability and all things KNOWN. So, basically the opposite of motherhood.  Over the last few years, I have been able to see how one rebuilds their identity – because I rebuilt mine. The coolest part of the journey is that one the other side of the fear of the unknown is power and strength I didn’t know I had.  Listen in to learn The 4 Cs of (Re)Building Your Identity: Character Courage Collaboration Confidence  Walking through these 4 areas will give you the direction you need to build a life you love without feeling overwhelmed (and/or terrified…) Links Mentioned:SMA Episode 69: How to Be A Nasty WomanSponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tay & Val are the spiritual consultants and soul mentors that executive coaches of Fortune 500s and founders of multimillion-dollar public companies go to, to answer their "What's Next?" question. Everything they do is grounded in the intention to help you lead your best life.  Award-winning filmmakers, Tay and Val left successful media careers, closed their production company, wrapped work on their nationally televised television series P.S. I’m Sorry, and set off to travel the world by bicycle for a documentary project to inspire dreams. Six years, three continents, more than 400 public talks and national radio and TV appearances (in twelve countries), and 2 TEDx talks later, Tay and Val settled in the Pacific Northwest as City Artists of Seattle. Committed to helping visionary leaders meet their call to greatness with clear-eyed vision, groundedness, and deep trust - they work with leaders and businesses around the globe who hear the call to rise and say yes.  More recently, their work has also appeared on Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, and Thrive Global. They are also co-founders of M Meditation. Their signature program, Propel Your Purpose, sherpas a soulful tribe of multipassionate, multitalented, and multifaceted millennials (at heart) to bring their whole selves to the table, create a thriving life, and make the impact you’ve always envisioned for yourself and the world. Listen in to hear Tay n Val share: Why they left their award winning careers to journey the world on bikes How one man’s dream changed their dreams forever The power of their pivotal question, “What’s Your Dream?” How an 8 year old girl helped us define our #soulpurpose and set us on a path aligned to it The surprising (and enlightening!) thing Moms around the world shared with us, that shifted our guilt for being the daughters who left home to live our dreams  Links Mentioned:Discover your #soulpurpose: Taynval.com/soulpurposeVideo: How 2 Ordinary Girls Chose To Be ExtraordinaryVideo: Tay & Val TEDx talkTay & Val on Facebook Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today I’m going to give you my Bloomsday Race Report and share my weakness – The Messy Middle…Whenever I set out out to accomplish something I start out 100% inspired, motivated, excited, strong, powerful, eager, peppy, spirited – and eagerly anticipating success.Then I get about 60 % toward my goal and I CRASH.This is where things get uncomfortable, uncertain, not-so-strong, less powerful, way less motivating, uncertain and ugly. I often feel self doubt, fear, and negative self talk.Welcome to the Messy Middle. Have you ever been???Once I push through the Messy Middle I once again feel optimism, motivation, excitement - all those initial feelings come flooding back. I feel powerful as I approach my finish line or deadline.When you’re in that Messy Middle, you want to BAIL. Maybe you actually do bail sometimes. I know I have.Listen in to hear the strategies I use to take control of my Messy Middle and reach my goals (including my Messy Middle at Bloomsday last weekend). These are simple things that will take you far.The Messy Middle is where you will make something of your goals and dreams OR where you will lay them down to die. The choice is yours. Understand the power of that decision.You can do anything – but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do anything. It’s never easy. It’s rarely pretty. But it’s always worth it.Lastly, SHOUT OUT to the Bethany and Katie, the mamas in the photo for this episode. They were the best Bloomsday running buddies!Links Mentioned:Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Melissa DaSilva is a clinical social worker and founder of the group practice East Coast Mental Wellness in Providence, RI. She serves as an individual and couples therapist, as well as a group facilitator. She has spent many years working in schools as a school social worker and has an upcoming podcast titled Pride Connections. Melissa is an expert in the field of transgender topics, and works with many trans and nonbinary youth to provide support throughout their transition. She collaborates with outside providers to ensure comprehensive care for those who wish to pursue physical transition. Melissa enjoys working with clients on LGBTQ topics, academic issues, bipolar disorder, and personality disorders. She also has experience supporting clients with anxiety, depression, and life transitions. Her practice is welcoming towards all genders and sexualities, as well as poly and kink couples. She uses a variety of approaches in her therapy including pet therapy, meditation, and places a lot of focus on sleep and nutritional health. When Melissa isn't running her business she is creating art and selling it at local markets.  Listen in to hear Melissa share: What all the letters mean in LGBTQQIA (they are all different and all important) What the terms cisgender, non-binary, gender-expansive and gender fluid mean The difference between sex and gender How to talk to explain sexual orientation and gender to kids in very simple terms How can you and your family be supportive of LGBTQQIA children How to can you be supportive if you suspect your child might be LGBTQQIA How to ask someone about their sexual orientation and/or gender expression How to use gender pronouns correctly and appropriately  Links Mentioned:Podcast Website: PrideConnections.comPrivate Practice Website: eastcoastmentalwellness.comMelissa’s Email: Melissa@prideconnections.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Change is the WORST. Or at least that’s what I used to tell myself – for like 30 years. After becoming a mom I spent a full year feeling completely run over by all the change and unpredictability of my new mommy life. I kept wait for everything to “go back to normal.” As you can guess – that never happened.  I had to resolve myself to the constant change that is motherhood.  As someone who thrives on routine and predictability, that was a tough pill to swallow. But then I looked at some of ways I had embraced change in other areas of my life over the last 10 years and I was able to slooooooowly start embracing motherhood and change in a new and more positive light.  Before I tell you how to get over your fear of change, let me help you understand why you’re afraid of change:  The known is always more comfortable than the unknown We live in a fear based culture – so we’re programmed to be afraid of what we do not yet know We like consistency, predictability and control We’re scared of failure, mistakes, and of wasting our time and energy  And now – the good stuff - how to get over your fear of change: Recognize that you are already in constant flux and transition Consider change an opportunity for a “software upgrade” Know there will be moments of panic and doubt and possibly a sense of complete failure and/or regret Know that practicing and embracing change makes it feel less burdensome Understand that the best way to conquer fear and anxiety is to prove to yourself you CAN do the things you are afraid of change is not bad – it’s just different  Links Mentioned:Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices