Start with Small Steps

201 - Creating Your Own Luck The intriguing concept of luck as presented in A.H.Z. Carr’s book "How to Attract Good Luck and Make the Most of It in Your Daily Life." challenges the traditional notion of luck as mere chance or superstition, Carr offers a practical approach to creating luck through preparedness and the right mindset. Redefining Luck: Carr redefines luck as not a mystical force but a product of our responses to opportunities. He emphasizes that luck arises when we are prepared for chance events. For instance, if a piece of paper blows in our path, our decision to pick it up or ignore it can lead to different outcomes. This proactive response is what transforms chance into luck. Attracting Opportunities: The first step to creating luck is attracting opportunities. Carr argues that being likable and maintaining a zest for life are key factors. Friendly and generous people tend to draw others to them, increasing their chances of encountering opportunities. He also warns against traits like greediness and anxiety, which can repel luck. Recognizing and Responding to Opportunities: Recognizing opportunities when they arise is crucial. Being alert and attuned to the rhythms of life helps us identify potential in everyday events. Once recognized, acting on these opportunities is vital. Carr shares personal stories and examples to illustrate the importance of timely and appropriate responses to opportunities. Adapting to Your Environment: Carr highlights the importance of adapting to the rhythms of your environment. Whether in a bustling city or a quiet rural area, recognizing and responding to the unique opportunities in your surroundings can enhance your luck. Understanding and adapting to these rhythms is essential for creating luck. Takeaways:Luck is about being prepared and responsive to opportunities. By being likable, recognizing opportunities, and acting on them, you can create your own luck. Additionally, adapting to your environment helps in identifying and seizing opportunities, further enhancing your chances of experiencing good luck. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/creating-your-own-luck/ https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18079569-how-to-attract-good-luck Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

The MEEPS Method for Problem-Solving Change is hard, but with the right strategy, it becomes manageable. The MEMPS method—Motivate, Equip, Nudge, Push, and Shove—offers a structured approach to tackling problems and achieving goals. Here’s how you can apply this method to your own life. The system takes into account the book by Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein, Nudge. Motivate The first step is to inspire excitement. Create a vision board, set clear goals, and involve your friends and family for support. Motivation is about fostering a desire for the end result, making the journey towards it exciting and desirable. Equip Preparation is crucial. Ensure you have everything you need before starting. For example, if you’re aiming to exercise more, have the right clothes, shoes, and a gym plan ready. Properly equipping yourself prevents loss of momentum and sets a solid foundation for success. Nudge Subtle reminders and small incentives help keep you on track. Whether it’s setting reminders on your phone or using apps like Streaks, gentle nudges maintain progress without overwhelming pressure. They serve as friendly prompts to keep you moving in the right direction. Push Sometimes, a firmer approach is necessary. Set clear, measurable benchmarks and involve others to hold you accountable. If mornings aren’t working for your exercise routine, adjust the plan. Direct actions, like placing alarm clocks away from your bed, ensure you take the necessary steps towards your goals. Shove This is the last resort. It involves significant consequences or commitments that make it almost impossible not to follow through. For instance, committing to give away money if you don’t achieve a goal can be a powerful motivator. While harsh, shoves ensure that critical goals are met. The MEMPS method is versatile and can be tailored to various goals, from health and fitness to professional development. By following these steps, you create a structured pathway to success, ensuring that every effort you make brings you closer to your desired outcome. Start with motivation, prepare yourself, nudge gently, push when needed, and reserve the shove for when it’s absolutely necessary. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Y7BoHeGhB0I https://startwithsmallsteps.com/the-meeps-method-for-problem-solving/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

199 - Overcoming Costs and Creating Incentives This episode examines how costs, incentives, and biases influence our behavior and decision-making processes. Drawing from both economics and psychology, we discuss strategies to identify and manage these factors effectively, ensuring better outcomes in personal a nd professional scenarios. The Role of Incentives: We explore how incentives, whether financial, social, or intrinsic, significantly impact behavior. From bonuses at work to rewards for good grades, incentives motivate us by offering tangible or intangible benefits. Stephen Levitt’s work highlights how even small incentives can drive substantial changes in behavior. We discuss various examples and the importance of creating effective incentive structures. Understanding Costs: Costs are not limited to financial expenses; they also include time, stress, and opportunity costs. We delve into how evaluating these costs helps in making more informed decisions. Real-life examples illustrate the hidden costs we often overlook. Understanding the full spectrum of costs associated with our decisions is crucial for making better choices. Psychological Influences: Behavioral economics combines psychology and economics to understand decision-making biases. We discuss common biases, such as resistance to change and the preference for immediate rewards, and how they affect our choices. By recognizing these biases, we can develop strategies to overcome them and make more rational decisions. Managing Costs and Enhancing Incentives: To make better decisions, it’s essential to identify and manage costs effectively. We cover strategies for recognizing direct and indirect costs and mitigating them through informed planning. Additionally, we discuss the importance of clear goals and rewards, visible progress tracking, and regular reassessment of incentive programs to ensure they lead to desired behaviors without unintended negative consequences. Takeaways: Understanding and balancing costs and incentives is essential for making informed decisions and fostering positive behavior changes. By recognizing the true costs of our actions and strategically implementing incentives, we can improve our personal and professional lives. Join us as we explore these concepts and learn how to navigate costs and incentives for better decision-making. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/199-overcoming-costs-and-creating-incentives/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

198 - Navigating the Challenges of People Pleasing In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked downside of being too nice. Drawing from "Anxious to Please: Seven Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice" by James Rapson and Craig English, we discuss how chronic people pleasing can impact mental health, relationships, and personal fulfillment. We offer practical strategies to help listeners find a balance between kindness and self-respect. The Hidden Costs of People Pleasing: Chronic people pleasing can lead to low self-esteem, depression, and strained relationships. It often involves second-guessing oneself and constantly seeking approval. Recognizing Over-Accommodation: Awareness is the first step towards change. It is crucial to identify situations where one is overly accommodating and reflect on the emotions and thoughts behind these behaviors.Steps to Reclaim Your Authenticity: Small Acts of Self-Assertion: Start with minor actions like suggesting a restaurant or declining additional work. Forgiveness and Patience: Changing ingrained habits takes time. Be kind to yourself throughout the process. The Desert Practice: Spending time alone helps one reconnect with one’s personal desires and needs. This practice encourages listening to one's own voice away from external influences. Developing a Personal Ethic: Adopt a mindset similar to a warrior who acts based on personal ethics rather than automatic niceness. This involves making conscious decisions aligned with personal values.Takeaways: Balance Kindness with Self-Respect: It's essential to be kind without compromising one’s own well-being. Awareness and small steps towards self-assertion can help achieve this balance. Practice Solitude: Regularly spending time alone helps you understand and prioritize your needs. Conscious Decision Making: Acting based on personal ethics rather than habitual niceness leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/198-breaking-free-from-people-pleasing/ https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Please-Revolutionary-Practices-Chronically-ebook/dp/B001U29UDK Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

197 - Seven Key Questions to Be Self-Aware Understanding our essential self is a journey, one that requires introspection and a willingness to ask challenging questions. We look into these questions, drawing from Dain Dunston's book, Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness. This two-part series emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in navigating life's journey and achieving personal growth. 1 Where Are You? This foundational question urges listeners to evaluate their current life position, not just physically but emotionally and psychologically. It sets the stage for understanding one’s starting point in the journey of self-awareness.2 Why Are You Here? Delving into the meaning behind our existence and actions, this question helps listeners identify their life’s purpose, providing a clear direction and making everyday challenges more manageable.3 Who Are You Being? Examining the roles we play in life, this question distinguishes between our essential and synthetic selves, encouraging authentic living.4 What Do You Want? Understanding our desires and goals is crucial. This question helps listeners align their actions with their true aspirations, creating a cohesive path forward.5 What Wants to Happen? This metaphysical inquiry explores the broader direction of our lives, encouraging alignment with the larger movements of the world or our community.6 What Don’t You Know? Acknowledging knowledge gaps and seeking to fill them is essential for growth. Confronting the unknowns that hinder progress is a key aspect of self-awareness.7 How Does This Feel? Assessing our emotional responses to our journey helps us navigate its complexities. Mixed feelings are natural, and understanding them aids in personal development. Takeaways:• Reflecting on these seven questions can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself, promoting personal growth and a more fulfilling life.• Small steps towards self-awareness, as emphasized by Burroughs, can significantly impact overall well-being.Authenticity in our roles and understanding our true desires are essential components of a meaningful life journey. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/seven-key-questions-to-be-self-aware/ https://daindunston.com/books/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

196 - Your Essential Being In this episode, we explore the concept of radical self-awareness, a transformative practice that allows us to reconnect with our core identity. Inspired by Dane Dunstan's book "Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness," we delve into how understanding our essential self can help us navigate life with clarity and purpose. Key Takeaways: Understanding Radical Self-Awareness: It's a practice that combines emotional intelligence, perceptiveness, and critical thinking. It involves recognizing our strengths, weaknesses, and motivations to lead our minds effectively. Overcoming External Labels: We often get boxed into outdated perceptions by those around us. Embracing our evolved selves requires breaking free from these labels and understanding our true identity. The Essential Child: Revisiting childhood passions and moments of pure joy can guide us in understanding what makes us feel alive. These core desires help align our lives with our authentic selves. Identifying Genuine Aspirations: Many pursue goals imposed by societal norms, leading to unfulfillment. Identifying what we genuinely want allows us to set meaningful goals and make authentic choices. Reflective Questions: Dunstan suggests using introspective questions to explore our essential self. Reflecting on where we feel most alive and what excites us provides insights into our true nature. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/196-your-essential-being/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

195 - Shortcuts in Achieving Goals In our pursuit of goals, the question often arises: is it acceptable to use shortcuts? This topic is more nuanced than it appears, blending practical considerations with ethical ones. Let's explore the implications of using shortcuts to achieve goals and how they impact our learning, integrity, and success. Shortcuts are often perceived negatively, equated with cheating or avoiding hard work. However, not all shortcuts are created equal. Tools like AI, productivity apps, and medical interventions can provide a leg up without compromising our values. For instance, scheduling software helps organize tasks and bills, improving efficiency without undermining our skills. This raises an essential question: when do shortcuts hinder personal growth, and when do they facilitate it? Consider health and weight loss. Tools like Ozempic or gastric bypass surgery offer quick results but can bypass the critical learning process associated with lifestyle changes. This perspective is echoed by many who argue that reliance on such tools may lead to regaining weight once the shortcut is removed. The key issue here is whether these shortcuts help achieve long-term, sustainable health improvements or merely provide a temporary fix. Similarly, in education and work, tools like AI can aid learning and productivity. For example, using Grammarly to improve writing can be educational, offering insights into common mistakes. However, outsourcing tasks like writing a book or completing assignments can lead to dependency and a lack of skill development. Using apps like Merlin to learn bird calls can be instrumental in finding and learning more about birds. People who already know the birds can scorn the app, but instead, they should look at it as an educational tool if people use it correctly. For instance, I experience with weight loss—both through structured programs and gradual, self-directed efforts—demonstrates the importance of balancing immediate results with long-term habits. The same principle applies to financial management, where learning through experience often proves more valuable than quick fixes like debt bailouts. Yet, shortcuts are not inherently negative. They can be beneficial when they provide necessary support without completely replacing personal effort. AI tools for content creation, for instance, can enhance productivity while still requiring user input and creativity. Similarly, health apps and wearable technology can promote fitness by offering motivation and tracking progress. Ultimately, the decision to use shortcuts should be guided by their impact on learning and personal development. If a shortcut merely offers a temporary solution without fostering growth or understanding, it may be counterproductive. However, if it serves as a stepping stone towards greater efficiency and knowledge, it can be a valuable tool. In conclusion, shortcuts can be both beneficial and detrimental, depending on their application and the individual’s approach. Balancing the use of shortcuts with a commitment to personal growth and ethical considerations ensures that they serve as aids rather than crutches in achieving our goals. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/195-shortcuts-in-achieving-goals/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

194 - Overcoming Tedious Tasks In today’s episode, we explore how to tackle the boring, tedious tasks that often derail our productivity. Drawing insights from Peter Hollens’ book, Self-Disciplined: for Tedious, Boring, and Difficult Things, we discuss practical strategies to make these tasks more manageable. 1. 52/17 Technique: Work for 52 minutes, then take a 17-minute break. This method, based on the Pomodoro Technique, helps maintain focus and reduces mental fatigue.2. Parking Downhill: Start with simple tasks to build momentum. Ease into your workday with activities that require less cognitive effort, like checking emails.3. Four Quarters Method: Divide your day into four segments—early morning, late morning, afternoon, and evening. This makes your day feel less daunting and allows you to align tasks with your energy levels.4. 12-Week Plan: Focus on short-term, 12-week goals instead of annual resolutions. This creates a sense of urgency and allows for frequent reassessments and adjustments.5. Pickle Jar Theory: Prioritize by starting with the most critical tasks (big rocks) and filling in with smaller tasks (pebbles and sand). This ensures your most important tasks get done first.6. Daily Themes: Assign specific days to particular types of tasks. Consistency builds rhythm and reduces decision fatigue.7. Energy Patterns: Schedule demanding tasks during your peak energy times. Understand whether you’re a morning or evening person and plan accordingly.8. Automation and Templates: Automate repetitive tasks and use templates to streamline workflows, reducing mental load and freeing up time for more critical activities. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/194-overcoming-tedious-tasks/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

193 - Formulas for Life In this episode, we delve into Patrick King's book, Social Equation, which offers practical formulas to enhance social interactions. Discover how to build trust, improve workplace harmony, and foster romantic relationships through King's insightful equations. Building trust is fundamental to any strong relationship, and Patrick King offers a straightforward formula to achieve this: Trustworthiness = Consistency x Reliability / Number of Betrayals. This emphasizes the importance of being consistent and reliable while minimizing betrayals to maintain and build trust. In the workplace, harmony is crucial for productivity and job satisfaction. King’s formula for workplace harmony is Respect x Cooperation / Conflicts + Ego. By fostering respect and cooperation and reducing conflicts and ego clashes, a more harmonious and productive work environment can be created. For romantic relationships, King provides a more nuanced formula: Common Interest x Physical Attraction x Emotional Connection to the Power of Adaptability. This formula highlights the need for shared interests, physical and emotional attraction, and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances to maintain a strong romantic bond. When it comes to effective learning, King suggests that it can be quantified as Curiosity x Engagement / Number of Distractions. Staying curious and engaged while minimizing distractions can significantly enhance learning efficiency. Friendships are built on four key components: proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity. King’s formula for friendship development is Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity. Maintaining frequent and meaningful interactions is essential for deepening friendships. Mastering small talk can be daunting, but King provides a simple strategy: answer the question asked, provide two additional lines of detail, and then pass the conversation back. This approach helps keep conversations engaging and dynamic, turning small talk into deeper, more meaningful exchanges. Introducing people to each other can be a powerful networking tool. King’s formula for perfect introductions is Past + Future. Start by mentioning the present role of the person, then share something from their past that establishes credibility, and finally, suggest a future connection between the individuals. Takeaway Challenge:Create three personal formulas to tackle current problems. For example, a weight loss formula could be Burning Calories x Activity / Eating Calories + Sedentary Time. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/193-formulas-for-life/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/startwithsmallsteps Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

192 - The Enduring Wisdom of George Washington’s Rules In today’s episode, we delve into George Washington’s “110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior,” a set of guidelines that the first U.S. President copied from a French etiquette manual during his youth. These rules, which shaped his conduct and helped forge his character, offer timeless wisdom on politeness and decorum that is surprisingly relevant in our modern society. The Foundation of Civility: We start by exploring the significance of these rules in Washington’s life and how they influenced his reputation as a leader. These principles were not just about manners but about forging a character equipped for leadership and respectful interactions. A.J. Jacobs’ Experiment: We discuss how contemporary writer A.J. Jacobs adopted Washington’s rules in his life for a month, as detailed in his book “My Life as an Experiment.” Jacobs’ experiences reveal the practicality of these rules in modern settings, emphasizing concise communication (Rule 34) and showing respect in every interaction (Rule 1). Applying Old Wisdom to New World Challenges: We talk about how these historical guidelines can be applied to today’s digital communication challenges, encouraging more thoughtful and respectful engagements in both personal and professional contexts. Favorite Rules and Anecdotes: Our host shares their favorite civility rules and some humorous yet insightful anecdotes about trying to live by these guidelines in everyday life, including the complexities and unexpected outcomes of such an experiment. Call to Action: We invite listeners to reflect on how incorporating elements of Washington’s civility into daily interactions could improve their communication and relationships. We also encourage audience participation by asking listeners to submit their own modern-day rules of civility.Conclusion: Wrapping up, we consider the enduring impact of these rules on modern etiquette and the potential for rediscovering civility in our fast-paced, often impersonal world. Tune in to gain insights into how historical lessons can foster a more respectful and thoughtful society today. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/192-the-enduring-wisdom-of-george-washingtons-rules/ https://bpb-us-e1.wpmucdn.com/sites.usc.edu/dist/a/836/files/2015/05/George-Washingtons-Rules.pdf Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/startwithsmallsteps Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com