Startup Parent

#017 — Core Value #5: Plans are important. And things rarely go according to plan. A wise doula told me that in preparing for birth, she encourages women to consider the range of birth experiences and possibilities. In this way, designating “preferences” instead of a “plan,” we would be able to plan for something that was, effectively, unplannable. Babies are the ultimate plan-changers! Inviting a human into your life is inviting chaos in. They have their own ideas and what happens is often different than what we planned or expected.  In life, making plans is great. We love plans and goals and ideas and visions. And we also know that more often than not, things don’t always go according to plan. So we act in the present, with the information we have, staying resilient and agile, understanding that the process is as important as the outcome. The ability to show up and be messy with it, as things are changing, is a skill we value. But we also have to know that we don’t have control over everything. There’s no right or perfect time to start the business, or to have kids. If you wait for the perfect moment, you’re just waiting. FULL SHOW NOTES:  Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/017 Questions of this episode: When, in your life, have you had something not go according to plan, and what happened instead? How does making plans in the face of uncertainty make you feel? When do your plans go better than your wildest dreams? When have things not gone according to plan, and change you because of it?   THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:    Startup Pregnant  Startup Pregnant on Facebook  Startup Pregnant on Twitter  Sponsor the Podcast        

#016 — Core Value #4: Life is not all hard labor, and it’s not an all-out hustle sprint. In pregnancy, there are distinct phases and changes, with deep periods of fatigue, moments of sickness, periods of high energy and excitement, and everything in between. When the days come when you’re set to deliver, the periods of labor and delivery represent an intense period of work for the mother birthing the child; and immediately afterwards, there’s a need for intense rest and recovery and adaptation to a new normal. The cycles and seasons of life come in rhythms and there isn’t one mode to dominate all of them. Therefore, at Startup Pregnant, we don’t belief in the perpetual chase of “hustling harder.” There are certainly times for intense work! But not ALL the time as the default paradigm. Instead, we champion matching your energy and season with the work ahead of you, experimenting with new ways of showing up in parenting and work, and in bringing ideas of flexibility to the forefront of the conversation of what work can look like. FULL SHOW NOTES:  Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/016 Questions of this episode: What does it mean to hear this idea that we don’t have to hustle all the time? And when you reflect on your own life and work culture, what would you say your “dial” is set to? Where are you dialed in to, and what is the expectation of a baseline?   THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:    Startup Pregnant  Startup Pregnant on Facebook  Startup Pregnant on Twitter  Sponsor the Podcast 

#015 — [10x10] Core Value #3. In today’s episode, we unpack Core Value: #3: Work-life balance is a myth. There is fit and there is tension.The strive towards some sort of perfect work/life balance is a myth and a fruitless exercise. Life is always changing, and our goals—many of them—are often in tension with each other. That tension often creates interesting results; for example, many women have shared that they adore their businesses and work lives, and their families have created a hard edge and new set of boundaries in how they approach work. Instead of some idealized “balance,” we strive to find the right fit for us as individuals, in this moment, in this season. FULL SHOW NOTES: Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/015 10x10 CONTEST: THE QUESTIONFrom November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes listed above to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment. Ends November 30th, 2017.  Questions of this episode: When you let go of the need to achieve a perfect set of balance, what does that free you up to do instead? How do you feel about the term work-life balance? Is it something you laugh at, struggle with, or want? Why or why not?  RESOURCES MENTIONED:Cal Newport’s Deep WorkSusan Cain’s Quiet Fallacy of the Open OfficeThe Work Revolution THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:   Startup Pregnant Startup Pregnant on Facebook Startup Pregnant on Twitter Sponsor the Podcast 

#014 — [10x10] Core Value #2. In this special mini-series, we’re looking at the 10 Core Values of the Startup Pregnant Philosophy. These are the values that underscore everything we do, how we do it, and even how we design our interviews! In today’s episode, we unpack Core Value: #2: There is deep power in community and collaboration. By and large, we aren’t meant to go it alone. The myth of and belief in individualism in Western society is pervasive, yet at Startup Pregnant, we believe we are meant to live, work, raise families and grow businesses together. We aren’t born to live alone, and we’re not meant to parent alone, either. We are a social and communal species. For us, this translates across our startup, business, parenting, and pregnancy lives — and how we build and embrace communities of support across all of these experiences. We need teams, we need diverse communities, and especially at the beginning of adventures in entrepreneurship and parenting, we need lots and lots of support. There’s an outsized burden on parents, and mothers, to try to do it all or somehow be everything to everyone. It’s an impossible goal, and something that sets us up for failure.   FULL SHOW NOTES:  Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/014.   10x10 CONTEST: THE QUESTION From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes listed above to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment! Ends November 30th, 2017.   Question of this episode: What’s one way in which you’re trying to do it all yourself, and is there a way to ask for more help? How can you build in and prioritize discomfort in your life in the short-term in exchange for more long-term happiness?   RESOURCES MENTIONED: On Being Becoming Wise by Krista Tippett Curiosity Podcast: How The Best Marriages Work The New Better Off, by Courtney Martin Happy Documentary Ellen Langer from Harvard   THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:    Startup Pregnant  Startup Pregnant on Facebook  Startup Pregnant on Twitter 

#013 — Core Value #1. In this special mini-series, we’re looking at the 10 Core Values of the Startup Pregnant Philosophy. These are the values that underscore everything we do, how we do it, and even how we design our interviews! Over the next ten days, we’ll be releasing short 10-minute episodes looking at each of the core values of our philosophy. In today’s episode, we unpack the first Core Value: #1: “We speak first using the words ‘in my experience.’ Listen in to hear why these three words are critical for any conversation, and why we can’t strive for “one perfect woman” archetype to be. There are multiple stories of what it looks like to be a parent and to be an entrepreneur, and there isn’t one size that fits everyone. The first principle or philosophy guides us and reminds us of this.   In this vein, we take a generous stance. What works for one situation might not work for all situations. It can be a challenge in our human ways of understanding to operate from this place of “multiple perspectives.” Cognitive dissonance works against us, telling us that our past decisions must be ‘right’ and to defend against other choices that people make as ‘wrong,’ if they violate what we would have chosen. The wisdom calling is to see how different decisions can be right for people at different times.  FULL SHOW NOTES:  Get the complete show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/013.    10x10 CONTEST: From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we're having a contest on www.startuppregnant.com/thanksgiving-contest! Head to our website to read the rules and prizes, be sure to listen in and leave a comment on every episode released during these two weeks. Head to the show notes at www.startuppregnant.com/013 to be a part of the contest by leaving a comment! Ends November 30th, 2017.      THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:    Startup Pregnant  Startup Pregnant on Facebook  Startup Pregnant on Twitter  Sponsor the Podcas

#012 — We want the best for our kids. We can’t bear to listen to them cry, we don’t want to see them hurt—not even for a second.  But is it really best to swoop in and save the day every time our kiddos face a challenging situation? Or are we missing an opportunity to teach them patience as well as the related skills of coping with frustration and delayed gratification? Are we missing an opportunity to teach ourselves?  In Bringing Up Bébé, author Pamela Druckerman explores the idea of ‘the pause,’ taking a moment to exhale fully and breathe a full cycle of breath before moving forward. Today on this mini-episode of the podcast, I explore the practical applications of this concept, sharing how it can be applied not just to parenting, but also our working lives.  I describe specific scenarios in which implementing ‘the pause’ has helped me practice patience, from the playground with my child to that moment just before hitting ‘send’ on an impulsive email response. I talk honestly about how I am working to incorporate a pause in my morning routine—with the goal of curbing my impulse to turn immediately to social media and email.   ‘The pause’ doesn’t have to revolutionize your approach to parenting or work, but the simple practice of taking a moment to breathe can help you embrace a little calmness and make conscious decisions. Listen in and consider how you might implement the idea of ‘the pause’ in your own life.   FULL SHOW NOTES:  Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/012.  EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:    Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Taskerly! They’re a virtual assistant company that helps busy parents and entrepreneurs get more done at work by doing the things you can outsource of don’t have time for. Check them out at www.taskerly.co and mention the Startup Pregnant Podcast to get 10% off of your first three months working with them.  All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors    RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman   Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman  The Tim Ferriss Show    THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:    Startup Pregnant  Startup Pregnant on Facebook  Startup Pregnant on Twitter 

#011 — How often do you stop and really tune into your body, taking time to recognize what you are feeling and how it is impacting you physically?  What if we allowed ourselves radical honesty without judgement? What if we gave ourselves the space to tell the truth about what we are feeling—without having to do something about it right this minute? What if we took advantage of this feminine tool and learned to trust what our bodies are telling us?   Molly Mahar was an overachiever who ‘did what she was supposed to.’ After earning her BS in Hotel Administration from Cornell, Molly spent five years in the industry and eventually landed a coveted job on the sales team of a sexy boutique hotel in Seattle. Then she had a quarter-life crisis and quit her job to travel the world with her now-husband Ken, figuring out what she was meant to do.   Molly started the Stratejoy blog in 2009 because she needed it. She needed a place to talk about ambitious dreams, fears that she didn’t want to admit to, and how she feels about everything—from work to sex to money to motherhood. Now Molly has built a thriving community where women can be themselves without judgement and support each other in the pursuit of authentically joyous lives.  Today, Molly shares the Stratejoy journey, from inception to its current exponential growth. I ask her about the stories women aren’t telling and her ‘word of the year’ practice. Listen in as Molly reveals how exploring the word PLEASURE impacted her relationship with her husband and how she incorporates stillness into her busy life as a busy entrepreneur and mother.  FULL SHOW NOTES:  Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/011.    EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:    Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Aeroflow Breastpumps. They are dedicated to making the hassle of getting your breast pump a little bit easier—actually, a lot easier! Head to www.aeroflowbreastpumps.com/startup to have them help you qualify for a free breast pump through insurance.  All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors  LEARN MORE ABOUT MOLLY MAHAR:   Molly Mahar is the founder and CEO of Stratejoy, a vibrant training and coaching company aimed at empowering women to practice joy in a messy world. She is passionate about building a thriving community that helps women find joy in the tiny moments, go after the

#010 — Motherhood transforms you. There is no ‘bouncing back’ to your previous life. Being a mom requires that you ‘transform forward,’ creating a new, better version of yourself. And the feminine qualities essential to motherhood—loving, caring, nurturing, listening—also happen to be the qualities that the world is most yearning for in business, politics and the social sphere.  Stephanie Jhala enjoyed a healthy, medically uneventful pregnancy. But at the very end of the planned home birth, something went wrong. Her baby was not breathing. After a transition to the hospital, Steph’s newborn daughter was on put on life support in the NICU, consigned to a cooling sack and connected to countless tubes. Doctors predicted her death.   But Stephanie knew instinctively that her daughter would be fine. And she was right. Her daughter improved by leaps and bounds, and is now a thriving, feisty 10-month-old. How did Steph access that intuition? How does she continue to trust and cultivate her mind-body connection on a daily basis? And how is she using the tools she learned in her business as a leadership consultant to become a leader in motherhood?  Steph created All the Mama Feels for her own sanity. The Instagram and Facebook accounts, along with the in-person meetup in Vancouver, function to show the real side of motherhood and provide the tools women need to reframe the context of motherhood from one of diminishment and invisibility to that of empowerment. Today she shares her definition of intuition and offers advice around accessing that instinct in the hospital environment. I ask Steph about the mind-body connection and how the gap in generational wisdom impacts our idea of mother’s intuition. Listen in to understand how the qualities required of motherhood translate to the business world and why we have a dire need for transformation in the workplace to make organizations more sustainable and family-friendly.  FULL SHOW NOTES:  Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/010.  EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:    Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Meet Edgar! Grab your free two-week trial of Meet Edgar, a social media scheduling tool that allows you to create content once and re-use it as much as you need, at http://ed.gr/startuppregnant.  All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors 

#009 — Having children invites chaos into your life. So if your work focuses on minimalism and simplicity, how do you align those themes with the bedlam of being a parent? For Erin Boyle, she says she seeks out the simple moments: The time spent reading stories to your kiddos at bedtime. The moments when your child is calmly eating cantaloupe. The five minutes in the morning you spend sitting on the kitchen floor with your three-year-old, drinking a smoothie. The entire day isn't simple, but parts of it can have calm and peace.   Erin Boyle is the writer of and editor of the lifestyle blog, Reading My Tea Leaves. Based in Brooklyn, Erin spent time living in a 173-square-foot apartment which inspired her path towards a more minimal, and beautiful, lifestyle. She believes that the elements of living simply are beneficial and accessible to us all, no matter the circumstances.   Now that she is the mother of two children under the age of four, with a six-month old in the house, simple moments are even more precious to Erin. Today she shares how her background in history and public humanities led her to explore the idea of ‘living small.’ I ask Erin about her gentle approach to self-improvement and how she defines courage within the context of being a parent. Listen in to learn how getting comfortable with uncertainty a big part of parenting, why she cautions against speaking about pregnancy in universal terms, and how you can embrace the ‘idyllic and beautiful’ moments in your life.  FULL SHOW NOTES:  Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/009.  EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:    Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: HippoGive! HippoGive is a new app that donates your change by rounding up your everyday transactions to the nearest dollar and gives it to the charities and non-profits of your choosing.  If you’ve been wanting to donate to Planned Parenthood, the ACLU, or disaster relief you can use this app and it’s a piece of cake. All you need to do is create an account, choose your charity and then set a weekly donation cap. Head to HippoGive.com to sign up.  All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors  LEARN MORE ABOUT ERIN BOYLE:   Erin Boyle is a minimalist who loves a good story. Her approach to living simply recognizes that life isn’t always simple, ‘but the curtains can be.’ She grew up in a very old house on the Connecticut shoreline and developed an interest in what life looked like in the past. E

#008 — “My greatest satisfaction has not come—ever—from doing more. It’s come from being really present doing the things that matter the most.” It’s hard to argue with Kate Northrup’s contention that the eight-hour workday doesn’t work from a productivity standpoint. Study after study shows that only three (or so) of those eight hours are productive ones, and I think we can all get on board with the idea of getting better results—while putting in less time at work. The problem is, how do we shift that mindset? How do we shift the idea that tells us the only way to get what we want is to do more and more work?  Kate Northrup always knew she wanted to be a mother, and she pursued entrepreneurship partly because of the freedom it could afford her to be there for her kids. What Kate wasn’t counting on was the way pregnancy would change her drive and refocus her energy when it came to the business. She admits that it took her a long time to "get back in the game," and that her husband and business partner, Mike, picked up the slack. But Kate credits having her daughter, Penelope, with initiating a personal evolution that allowed her to clarify her desires and ultimately renew her interest in the business and the way she thought about showing up for work in the first place.  Perhaps there was something revolutionary here: because, as she shares in this episode, she found that she was able to achieve more even while doing less. And that some of her most productive weeks happened when she was working only 20 hours a week on the business.     Today Kate shares her "shocking and awesome" birth experience, explaining how parenthood impacted her business as well as her marriage. I ask her how she and Mike make their relationship work, and her take on what women need moving forward. Listen in to understand why it’s important for us all to initiate the difficult conversations around current events like Charlottesville, and how her latest project, Origin Collective, works to help entrepreneurial moms achieve greater results from doing less and showing up more fully with each other.     FULL SHOW NOTES:  Get the complete show notes with episode quotes, photos, and time stamps at www.startuppregnant.com/008.    EPISODE SPONSOR & SPECIAL OFFER:    Thank you to the sponsor of this episode: Taskerly! They’re a virtual assistant company that helps busy parents and entrepreneurs get more done at work by doing the things you can outsource of don’t have time for. Check them out at www.taskerly.co and mention the Startup Pregnant Podcast to get 10% off of your first three months working with them.  All of our sponsor offers are available on our website for you to grab the perks and discounts offered to podcast listeners: http://startuppregnant.com/sponsors    LEARN MORE ABOUT KATE NORTHRUP