Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

Explore the consequences of disregarding human development stages and the role of psychology professionals in facilitating change. Learn about the principles of normative development, stages of attachment, and Erikson's stages of development. Discover how to navigate difficult conversations with kids about sex and relationships, as well as the stages of moral development according to Lawrence Kohlberg.

From eccentric and introverted to boisterous and bold, the human personality is a complex and colorful thing. Personality refers to a person's distinctive patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving. It derives from a mix of innate dispositions and inclinations along with environmental factors and experiences. Although personality can change over a lifetime, one's core personality traits tend to remain relatively consistent during adulthood. Tune in and learn how personality turns to character!

If you’re like most people, you figure you’ll get married once—maybe twice—in your entire life.However, if you’re a serial monogamist (a person who engages in repeated serious relationships, one after the other), you might marry three, four, five or more times during your life.But what drives someone to become a serial monogamist? Do they begin with psychological issues, or do they simply end up with them?As several studies have shown, people who marry several times in rapid succession are more likely to experience psychological distress, regardless of gender, age or ethnicity. Statistics show that across the United States, 5 percent of people who have been married at least once have actually been married three times or more.

When we think of people being dramatic – or in this case, overly dramatic - we think of them making much of their appearance before others.  They enjoy feeling and displaying emotions.  They have a taste for tension-filled scenes.  They want others to know how they are interpreting a situation and how it is affecting them.  The only thing that matters, or so it seems, is what is happening now.  Dares, tantrums, and ultimatums reign.  Life becomes operatic. Certain situations can magnify these inclinations.  So can certain stages of life.  Young people have what Erik Erikson called gangling minds and bodies.  They have not worked out the countless behavioral strategies they will need for successful social functioning.  Physical and emotional challenges sometimes overwhelm them.  They commonly occupy low social positions that make them victims of much that happens.  They face many issues and challenges for the first time. Tune in and learn!

Although many people use the two words guilt and shame interchangeably, from a psychological perspective, they actually refer to different experiences. Guilt and shame sometimes go hand in hand; the same action may give rise to feelings of both shame and guilt, where the former reflects how we feel about ourselves and the latter involves an awareness that our actions have injured someone else. In other words, shame relates to self; guilt to others. I think it's useful to preserve this distinction, even though the dictionary definitions often blur it.b Tune in and learn how to put these unhealthy traits into place!

Unfortunately, we’re often taught that being an outsider is a “bad” thing, and no wonder — biologically we are made to stay within the safe confines of our species’ groups. But there comes a moment in life where “playing by the book” is seen to be a miserable and unfulfilling absurdity. Just look at all those people who followed the rules, got a good career, wife, children, solid salary, socially-approved status … and ended up miserable, empty, lonely, killing themselves, or dying prematurely due to stress-related illnesses. I’m sure you know one, or a dozen. So while being an outsider may seem isolating, it is actually profoundly beneficial for your life. I wish everyone had the opportunity to feel like an outsider because being an outsider is a catalyst for self-fulfillment, self-mastery, and self-realization. Tune in and figure out how to be an outsider and comfortable with that!

Rabbi Abraham Heschel stated that “Racism is man’s gravest threat to man – the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason.” Racism is a system of power and privilege based on perceived race and/or ethnicity that defines one group as dominant to and more deserving than all other groups. In this system, there is a dominant group (e.g., whites) and there are subordinate groups, including Native Americans, Black Americans, Latinx and Asian Americans. Racism is rooted in historical oppression (e.g., genocide of Native Americans, enslavement of Africans) such that subordinate groups were and are defined as “inferior” to the ”superior” dominant white group. The dominant group created and currently maintains societal privilege through values, behaviors and institutions. This privilege results in subordinate groups lacking access to power, status and resources. Tune in and learn how we all can improve and bring peace to our lives!

Wisdom is one of those qualities that is difficult to define—because it encompasses so much—but which people generally recognize when they encounter it. And it is encountered most obviously in the realm of decision-making. Psychologists tend to agree that wisdom involves an integration of knowledge, experience, and deep understanding that incorporates tolerance for the uncertainties of life as well as its ups and downs. There's an awareness of how things play out over time, and it confers a sense of balance. Wise people generally share an optimism that life's problems can be solved and experience a certain amount of calm in facing difficult decisions. Intelligence—if only anyone could figure out exactly what it is—may be necessary for wisdom, but it definitely isn't sufficient; an ability to see the big picture, a sense of proportion, and considerable introspection also contribute to its development. Tune in and learn what make our life meaningful!

As cities across America grapple with people living on the streets, homelessness is becoming impossible to ignore. More than half a million Americans are homeless each night, including a staggering 2.5 million children who are homeless in any given year. Children are homeless in every city, county, and state. Tune in and lets examine what is driving all of this mess!

The defining characteristic of asexuality is never feeling sexually attracted to anyone, but asexuals vary in other ways. Romantic attraction, for example, is distinct from sexual attraction, and asexuals vary in the degree to which they experience it. Some asexuals engage in sexual relations, probably because they have a romantic partner who wishes to do so. Asexuals also differ in the frequency with which they masturbate, and in the accompanying fantasies. There are even some qualifications to the key characteristic of never feeling sexually attracted to anyone. “Demi-sexuals” identify as asexual “until they form a strong emotional connection with someone” and “gray-sexuals” are those “who fall somewhere in the spectrum between asexual and sexual.” Tune in a learn more about this fascinating topic. Is it a diagnosis or a sexual preference?