Conversations With a Wounded Healer

This one has all the hallmarks of those "very special episodes" from TV days gone by. Awesome guest? Check. Witty banter? Check. A lesson on the power of vulnerability? Check. We're talking *chef's kiss* from start to finish, not least because I get to publicly gush over my friend Rayell Grayson, LCPC, CADC. Knowing Rayell brings me so much joy on the daily. I'm proud to be in her orbit and utterly amazed by her as a counselor, speaker, manager, and human. She's committed her life to holding space for and centering those who identify as BIPOC. Rayell is also Executive Director at Head/Heart Therapy––but not for long. Trumpets, please, as I introduce folks to the next owner of the practice! Say what?!?! I said it. I mean it. I'm doing it! And when you meet Rayell, you'll understand why she's the logical choice to guide Head/Heart Therapy into the future. Had I not brought her on once the pandemic hit in 2020, I genuinely don't think I would've survived. Here's to the promise of continued emotional evolution for both Rayell and Head/Heart Therapy. Let's bear witness to the future of anti-racist, anti-oppressive, liberatory therapy together. GUEST BIO Rayell Grayson LCPC, CADC, is a licensed clinical professional counselor, certified addictions counselor, and the Executive Director of Head/Heart Therapy. She holds a Master's of Arts degree in clinical counseling psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Rayell specializes in: substance abuse/addiction, complex PTSD, trauma/racial trauma, cultural/racial identity development, life adjustments/transitions, stress management, mood disorders, anxiety, relational complications, domestic and sexual violence, low self-esteem/self-worth struggles, women's issues, and health/wellness concerns. Rayell is currently holding space and centering her work around those who identify as BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

If you look up the word "radical", you'll find definitions for its noun- and adjective-based usages. Marvin Toliver, MSW, LCSW, embodies both. He's a self-respecting bisexual man of color who refuses to bear the crushing weight of racist, capitalist, heteronormative systems. Instead, Marvin advocates fiercely for marginalized folks and won't accept anything less than complete liberation and revolutionary social change. Radical Therapy Center is a group practice where folks with marginalized identities are prioritized. The trauma-informed care is focused on liberation not only for their clients but for anyone whose identity is stigmatized (and worse) by the colonial philosophies governing our daily lives––that goes for many therapeutic environments as well. Melanated Social Work, the group Marvin co-founded with three Black and Brown therapists, is yet another way he's bringing radical change directly to marginalized people, bypassing the "wellness" structures that cause them intentional and covert harm. Radical change takes root when everyone has space to grow into the genuine expression of who they are. Marvin sees his challenges, coupled with his privilege, as a bridge for folks routinely excluded from conversations about self-love and transformative healing. GUEST BIO Marvin Toliver, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker born and raised in Oakland, CA. He is a radical therapist, radical educator, consultant, guest lecturer, and dope human. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Oh, nothing, just me and Heidi Savell, LCSW, my new fave polyamory coach, replacing capitalism with divine feminine energy, repairing acute attachment wounds, and returning agency to anyone frustrated by the limits of monogamous relationships. OK, before we go any further into this convo, let me emphatically state that neither Heidi nor I have anything against monogamy. Furthermore, monogamists still on board with our discussion will learn a lot about emotional intimacy from polyamorous folks, like navigating jealousy and setting clear boundaries. Win-win-win! So how did we arrive at this current wave of poly-popularity? Heidi says we owe much of the spotlight to the pandemic. Two years into various stages of lockdown and social separation have exposed myriad societal issues, not least of which is the unrealistic assumption that a single partner can (or is willing to) fulfill all our needs. It's helpful to have a professional guide, especially in the early stages of your polyamory growth. Heidi's own journey prompted her to create the coaching practice she wishes she had access to as a poly newbie. With her help, fledgling polyamorists gain the skills necessary to build meaningful connections and address old wounds in the process. Could widespread post-pandemic polyamory be the antidote to patriarchal power-hoarding and capitalism's doctrine of scarcity? Sign me up for polyamory's brand of emotional abundance! Poly-curious? Sign up for Heidi's "Managing Jealousy" free mini-course and newsletter at She Loves Radically. GUEST BIO Heidi Savell, LCSW, is a polyamory relationship coach and therapist. She believes that polyamory can be an empowering and satisfying relationship model, and is passionate about helping folks find ways to thrive in these relationships. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Moin Subhani is a Toronto-based psychotherapist who practices the Gestalt method. Moin likens the modality to emotional intelligence 101, an awareness of intra- and interpersonal truths. That inward/outward journey is one Moin knows well. "Growing up in this society, especially as a Brown person, queer, it was hard for me to sit comfortably in my skin and love myself." His corporate career made the task doubly difficult. In a setting where the aggressive male stereotype is at best tolerated and at worst celebrated, any show of displeasure or vocalized anger by a person of color is generally deemed a threat to rigid roles and accepted strategies for overpowering challenges to the reigning authority. Y'all know that when anger is shoved down, it corrupts from the inside out. The emotion continues to simmer until it boils over, often in the gut of subsequent generations––and isn't that what we're experiencing now as the world is made to examine past injustices in order to create a more equitable future for all? Moin feels that Gestalt fosters a more thorough unlearning and rewiring process. In an age of accelerated global reckoning, where our anger is regularly misunderstood or aggressively disregarded, there's promise in reclaiming our anger as power with rather than power over. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE The Astrology Podcast Astral Realms Crystal Oracle Deck Gestalt Institute of Toronto NARM - NeuroAffective Relational Model GUEST BIO Moin Subhani is a Registered Psychotherapist. As a therapist, Moin is compassionate, creative and playful. He completed his psychotherapy training at the Gestalt Institute of Toronto and is a life-long student of Eastern Spirituality. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Let's settle this once and for all: astrology is a science like quantum physics and theoretical math. Please don't come at me; I've got a former chemical engineer on my side. Actually, my guest Sara Calvarese, the aforementioned former chemical engineer, made that bold proclamation at the top of our chat. Throughout the convo, Sara drops truth bombs supporting astrology's place alongside other analytical pursuits along with quotable gems regarding small business ownership, community, and eroding capitalism. Astrology, entrepreneurship, and degrowth––a trifecta of healing endeavors that this Wounded Healer is intensely passionate about (cue my inner Chiron monologue!). If you don't know much, or anything, about these topics, let this episode be your gateway. Let Sara provide deeper insight into the mystic-scientific connection for those well-acquainted with the good stuff. Sara is an anti-capitalist, self-proclaimed science witch and owner of The 8th House ethical modern metaphysical shop in Mount Holly, NJ (on Lenape land). If you want a heads-up on what's coming, a scientific assessment of the stars could provide warning, wisdom, and a way forward. *** To donate to Sista Afya's Whole Women, Whole Communities campaign, please visit: https://donorbox.org/saccwholewomen/fundraiser/sarah-buino GUEST BIO Sara Calvarese is an anti-capitalist, "science witch" who owns The 8th House - an ethical modern metaphysical shop in Mount Holly, NJ (on Lenape land). She is an astrologer, tarot reader, deck creator, author, and maker. She comes from a long line of small business owners and enjoys advocating for small businesses struggling to exist in late-stage capitalism. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Shout out to all the black sheep! Given the interactions I've had with many of you over on IG, self-declared black sheep make up most of this Wounded Healer's audience. We kindred souls are a misunderstood bunch. With so many black sheep about town, you'd expect to find volumes written in our honor. Where are the books detailing our experiences or offering keen insight into the unique psyche of black sheep? Fear not! The definitive tome on black sheep is in its research phase, courtesy of my guest Kathi Hennessey, LICSW. Kathi's black sheep backstory is laden with classic markers: Irish Catholic upbringing, a family history of alcoholism, resentment, denial, divorce. Those compounded traumas don't always add up to black sheep designation. So what does? Kathi aims to find out. She hopes her research will offer guidance on how folks can black sheep better because––families. Bad and embarrassing? The OED got it wrong. Sure, black sheep unleash Kali energy on that sticky generational trauma loop. But we do so as a means of healing. If smashing the status quo lands us outside a broken family dynamic, bring it on. Black sheep are a breed apart. And we're far from alone. *** To donate to Sista Afya's Whole Women, Whole Communities campaign, please visit: https://donorbox.org/saccwholewomen/fundraiser/sarah-buino GUEST BIO Kathi Hennessey LICSW is a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice in Massachusetts. I am conducting research on people who are the black sheep of their families. As the black sheep of my family, I was looking for support and validation for my healing journey. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Pardon me while I drop my first ever LIVE episode into this space! And, wouldn't you know it, my guest and I cover all the Conversations With a Wounded Healer favorites: community, connection, spiritual anchors, resiliency, the white-washing of mental wellness spaces, and the importance of therapists engaging in their own work (natch). What a joy to sit beside Camesha Jones, LCSW, at Sista Afya Community Mental Wellness, her gorgeous social enterprise located in Chicago's South Shore neighborhood. Founded in 2017, Sista Afya is dedicated to providing low- to no-cost mental wellness services that center the experiences of Black women. Let's chat about why centers like it are important––and, believe me, there aren't many places like Sista Afya, sadly. "Sometimes people keep saying this BS that Black people don't want to engage in therapy," says Camesha. Ah, yes, the narrative about which communities are and aren't receptive to supportive healing, created by those outside the community to stigmatize and keep critical infrastructure like therapy from reaching those who need it. Camesha flatly refutes the trope. Camesha has built a center that's community focused down to its core. The name, for instance, combines sista, a term of endearment used between Black women, and afya, a Swahili word that means to be healthy, free from psychological and physical illness. In her own life, Camesha takes continual care to address challenges inherent to living with bi-polar disorder. She offers hope to folks, including fellow therapists, with similar experiences, modelling self-awareness and practicing sustainable self-care while running a successful business. "I go to therapy. I go to my psychiatrist. I take my meds. I do all the things [ ] and that's part of why I call myself a mental illness survivor," she says, adding, "we're dealing with some of the same things, we're all dealing with some of the same things. It doesn't mean that we can't be effective in this work." GUEST BIO Camesha Jones, LCSW, is a Social Worker, Entrepreneur, and Community Mental Wellness Advocate who serves at the intersection of culture, community, and social justice. Camesha strongly believes in eliminating barriers in the mental health field that people of diverse cultural backgrounds experience by creating affordable and accessible care that centers on the well-being of the whole person. Camesha is the Founder and Executive Director of Sista Afya Community Mental Wellness. "WHOLE WOMAN, WHOLE COMMUNITIES" FUNDRAISER INFO To donate to Sista Afya's campaign, please visit: https://donorbox.org/saccwholewomen/fundraiser/sarah-buino I'm excited to support Sista Afya's Fall campaign, "Whole Women. Whole Communities." This year, Sista Afya Community Care has offered 650 free therapy sessions and over 35 community workshops and classes that have collectively served over 200 women. The goal is to raise $35,000 to continue offering free mental wellness care to Black women in Chicago. They need your support to sustain the progress they've made so far. Sista Afya continues to remove barriers to accessing mental wellness care in their communities. Will you contribute to the annual year-end campaign by giving $50, $100, $250, or whatever amount you can towards our goal of $35,000 to help deepen the impact in providing free mental wellness care for Black women? The campaign will run the entire month of December, but make sure to donate now. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

If you're a baby therapist (or a seasoned pro) looking for a sign, this is it! Lean into moments of extrasensory perception. Take leaps of faith toward alternative career paths. Trust that your current discomfort heralds growth. My longtime friend and one-time coworker Virginia Castillo, LCPC, is a chill, uplifting study in clearing space for all three. Our convo is such a gift for this quiet time of year. It's the season of turning inward, exploring our options, and assuming that our seemingly "out there" choices will have a positive ripple effect. The therapy profession isn't an easy path to tread, especially when you enter the field ready and willing to do your own work. Few therapists-in-training receive that message from their professors or case supervisors. I say it all the time: better support of our clients begins when we acknowledge those parts of ourselves that require deeper exploration or healing. Virginia has recently taken her intrapersonal work to a deeper level with clairvoyant training. Clairvoyants have a highly developed capacity for receiving the information, then distilling it into a more accessible format. As her studies progress, Virginia's coming out more as clairvoyant to friends and a few family members. It's a challenging process as some find her pursuit too woo-woo to take seriously. Virginia has come to accept that she might lose some people as she taps further into her abilities. And, that's ok. Her clairvoyance may cause waves in her personal life, but it's the ripples she hopes to extend to her clients. "If you can create that space in the therapy room with people and guide them into learning how to heal themselves, that's the healing." GUEST BIO Silver Lining Psychotherapy Instagram Facebook Virginia Castillo LCPC is a licensed clinical professional counselor, owner and founder of Silver Lining Psychotherapy, LLC., in Chicago. She is a first-generation Mexican American and proud Latina. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast HEY LISTENERS… Tell us about yourself, win prizes! Complete this short survey by November 30, 2021 to be entered - https://tinyurl.com/cwhsurvey2021 *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

I've lately found myself having conversations about certainty––or uncertainty if you like. When philosophical words fail me, I express my meaning by sharing life experiences from the mundane to the mystical. Reverend Maureen Cotton is good with words. She also happens to be great with stories. So many profoundly moving stories in this one! A few trippy ones, too, as well as a flip-the-script moment when the guest casually questions your host. "I'm no psychic, but I definitely embrace that uncertainty," says Maureen, an interspiritual minister serving the spiritual-but-not-religious and non-dogmatic people of faith. She's also a soulful conversationalist who distills "faith" into real life without judgement or authoritarianism. Ultimately, she defines faith as how we choose to live what we've learned from those traditions (either firsthand or in the abstract), not picking the "right one." While she began her ministerial career assisting families and their loved ones in death, Maureen's since shifted her focus to wedding/commitment ceremonies. Still, death is never far removed from her ministry. So even on the happiest day of a couples' life (pause for another side-eye directed at the wedding industrial complex), Maureen counsels participants on integrating their deceased loved ones into the ceremony in whatever way feels right. All religions and spiritual practices can trace their traditions back to when communities experienced a member's death more intimately. What we've since lost is our ability to speak of love and loss in the same breath. Maureen holds space for all the mysteries. Grief, after all, is the price of love. And understanding it is less about uncovering definitive answers than being present in the unknown, honoring each other's experiences and sharing empathy over merely expressing sympathy. GUEST BIO Reverend Maureen Cotton is an Interspiritual minister, serving the spiritual-but-not-religious and non-dogmatic people of faith. Her true title is "thresholder." She helps prepare people for life's transformative times, in particular weddings and death & dying. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast HEY LISTENERS… Tell us about yourself, win prizes! Complete this short survey by November 30, 2021 to be entered - https://tinyurl.com/cwhsurvey2021 HEY THERAPISTS... You're invited to Head/Heart Conversations, our webinar series designed for psychotherapists who want to invite their inner healer to the forefront of both work life and personal life. In this four-part series, we will invite participants to learn about themselves as well as enhance their clinical skills. Details & Registration: http://tinyurl.com/hhconvos Promo Code for $20 off: podcast Friday, November 19, 2021 - Queering our Conversations by Benji Marton, LCSW *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Grab your fave beverage because my guest Courtney Wells, PhD, and I are about to spill the kombucha on taking down the patriarchy. Courtney is many things, including a licensed clinical psychologist and executive director at Pivot Psychological Services in Chicago, and tamer of two Pekinese. Additionally, they're simply an amazing human with profound insights into dismantling the systemic oppression that leads to self-doubt and wayward searches for validation. Courtney's path towards genuine self-expression informs their approach to trauma work offers a model for societal healing as well as the creation of non-hierarchical, inclusive systems in therapy and beyond. Courtney ascribes to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT. "Destroying the patriarchy is part of ACT therapy where you take on the patriarchy, and then you destroy it," Courtney laughs. Tongue-in-cheek aside, they credit ACT with undermining establishment principles like grind culture or the "right way" of doing and being. The right way of white supremacy, they point out, "is generally where somebody else benefits from all of your work. You get a little bit, but somebody else benefits greatly from all that you do." Courtney says that patriarchal forces crush our will under fear of retribution and ostracization, pushing us to favor avoidance at all costs to keep the gears running full steam ahead. ACT can be complicated and requires commitment (as its name implies). The model is "about staying in it with someone long enough to also see what the feeling is that's there or what the internal experience is that's there." Regardless of model, healing is an evolutionary process, and the more expansive our collective recovery, the stronger our resistance to patriarchal influences. GUEST BIO Dr. Courtney Wells received their BS in Psychology at John Carroll University, their MA in Community Counseling at John Carroll University, and their PhD in Counseling Psychology at Texas Woman's University. They completed their predoctoral internship at the Dallas Veteran's Affairs and their postdoctoral fellowship at the Jesse Brown Veteran's Affairs, specializing in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, chronic pain, and substance use. Courtney was also the creator and Director of the Trauma Program at one of the largest Partial Hospitalization and Outpatient Programs in Chicago. Courtney is a prolific reader of mystery novels and a tamer of two Pekingese. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast HEY THERAPISTS... You're invited to Head/Heart Conversations, our webinar series designed for psychotherapists who want to invite their inner healer to the forefront of both work life and personal life. In this four-part series, we will invite participants to learn about themselves as well as enhance their clinical skills. Details & Registration: http://tinyurl.com/hhconvos Promo Code for $20 off: podcast Friday, November 19, 2021 - Queering our Conversations by Benji Marton, LCSW *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi