Conversations With a Wounded Healer

Where organized religion goes, the need for therapy often follows. There’s no shortage of examples in which Christianity’s original pitch––to love and care for one another––has gotten corrupted by those delivering Jesus’ message.  But what if you’re called to fight for your faith? What if you believe that your generation is the breath of fresh air its stagnant lungs need? Or, what if you want to offer a safe space where other disillusioned faithful can ask WTAF?  What if you’re all that. And a Mormon? Caitlin Olsen is a trained therapist and mental health coach who offers expert guidance for the modern Mormon woman. So much of Caitlin’s story resonates, especially her struggles with mental health compounded by a global health crisis and a former US president who exploited the pandemic for political gain.  Those four years shook Caitlin’s faith, forcing her to question her place within the Mormon Church. Caitlin still believes that there’s a place for faith in her life.  Our conversation reminds me that we can celebrate the values of a faith tradition and rejoice in its gospel if we’re called to do so. We can also love the promise of religion yet set out to make our spiritual way. Whatever our path, we have agency; we can challenge those that block our way or take a road less traveled. GET CONNECTED Voicemail for 200th episode: https://speak-to.us/convoswithawoundedhealer Waiting List for Wounded Healers Virtual Group: https://tinyurl.com/WoundedHealerWaitlist GUEST BIO Caitlin Olsen is a trained therapist, mental health coach, and lifelong Mormon. She runs group programs, creates self-paced courses, and works 1:1 with incredible coaching clients under her business, Caitlin Olsen Co. Her mission is to destigmatize mental health care, change some family trees for the better, and bring mental health to the forefront of Mormonism. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

What a time to be alive, huh? I say so with tongue firmly planted in my cheek because when crisis cycles like the one we’re currently in arise, instinct often overrides my ability to analyze. I rush for the deep end with an overwhelming need to do everything, even as I realize I’ve stretched myself too thin to do anything. Raise your hand if you’ve been there; done that. Val Jencks, MS, LMFT, LCPC, gets it. In addition to spending nearly three decades mentoring new therapists and working with couples and families at her Chicago-based group practice, this self-described “serial volunteer” has also dedicated her life to advocating for people impacted by trauma, mental illness, and addiction. Oh, and btw, she’s a stand-up legend who co-founded Laughing Matters In Chicago, a nonprofit that produces comedy events supporting young performers in recovery. But wait, there’s more. Val’s 2015 TEDx Talk “How to Rewrite History” is a message for anyone who has witnessed or survived youth abuse. But the beauty of Val’s wisdom isn’t in how she keeps all the balls in the air. Instead, those times when she’s let the balls fall (because yeah, life) provide the most insight. Multiple crises have taught Val the importance of establishing a new orbit, mindful that her wellbeing (not to mention that of her family, colleagues, and clients) hangs in the balance. However, taking care of oneself is easier said than done, especially for entrepreneurs in the healing space. When crisis crashes into capitalism, a flood of self-serving propaganda follows, pressuring individuals to practice resilience amid the storm.  Post-traumatic growth doesn’t come quickly; it reveals itself by inches or less. “I just am much more comfortable with myself. I'm less judgmental of myself.”  And less compelled to dive in head-first without checking her own vitals. Special Note: For those interested in providing tangible support to LGBTQIA+ communities under threat in Texas and Florida, the following is a small list of vetted resources: Resources for Texas Trans Kids www.txtranskids.org www.transtexas.org/resources www.transequality.org/additional-help www.transhealthconsulting.com/mentalhealth Resources to Oppose Florida Don’t Say Gay Bill Take Action via Equality Florida - http://eqfl.org/act Florida Coalition for Trans Liberation - www.fc4tl.org Safe School South Florida - http://safeschoolssouthflorida.org SAVE LGBTQ - www.save.lgbt GET CONNECTED Voicemail for 200th episode: https://speak-to.us/convoswithawoundedhealer Waiting List for Wounded Healers Virtual Group: https://tinyurl.com/WoundedHealerWaitlist GUEST BIO Val Jencks, MS, LMFT, LCPC, has spent nearly three decades working with couples and families in her Chicago practice, Prairie Family Therapy. Often described as a “serial volunteer,” she has a strong penchant for championing the underserved, with decades of advocacy for people impacted by trauma, mental illness and addiction. She also co-founded “Laughing Matters in Chicago,” a nonprofit dedicated to producing comedy events that support young performers in recovery. Her 2015 TEDx talk “How to Rewrite History” is a message for anyone who has witnessed or survived youth abuse.  For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

I have long wished for one complete website where I could find information about every trauma modality––the who, what, where, why, and how of trauma-informed care if you will––because I want training in all of them!  The truth is, whether we’re therapists, specialized healers, or lightworkers, there’s a reason why we call what we do practice: we never arrive at a place of absolute knowing.  Shelby Leigh helps practitioners of all sorts examine, without judgment, the situations that arise, teaching them how to best integrate a foundation of trauma awareness into their practice life. When we accompany clients on their healing journeys, we’re bound to encounter new conflicts and confront reminders of our past traumas. It’s these inevitabilities that Shelby’s 1-to-1 coaching sessions and group programs make space to address. Her coaching clients gain a more nuanced understanding of themselves and how trauma impacts the care dynamic. As someone who’s constantly urging therapists to do their own work, I hella approve of Shelby’s coaching roadmap! I appreciate healers like her, who actively support the rest of us as we push the self-imposed limits of our intrapersonal communication skills and deepen our interpersonal healing.  GET CONNECTED Voicemail for 200th episode: https://speak-to.us/convoswithawoundedhealer Waiting List for Wounded Healers Virtual Group: https://tinyurl.com/WoundedHealerWaitlist GUEST CONTACT BIO Shelby Leigh has nearly 15 years of clinical practice, a Master's degree in Somatic Psychotherapy, two coaching Certificates and numerous trainings in the Somatic treatment of trauma. Between her own journey with complex PTSD and supporting thousands of students and clients, she is ignited by supporting folks across the globe to be able to support themselves and the people they work with to move from simply surviving to truly thriving. A former licensed psychotherapist, now coach and consultant - Shelby teaches trauma awareness to coaches, therapists, healthcare professionals, and organizations worldwide. A great passion is understanding and supporting folks with developmental and complex trauma in a holistic, body-based, integrative way. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

This one has all the hallmarks of those "very special episodes" from TV days gone by. Awesome guest? Check. Witty banter? Check. A lesson on the power of vulnerability? Check. We're talking *chef's kiss* from start to finish, not least because I get to publicly gush over my friend Rayell Grayson, LCPC, CADC. Knowing Rayell brings me so much joy on the daily. I'm proud to be in her orbit and utterly amazed by her as a counselor, speaker, manager, and human. She's committed her life to holding space for and centering those who identify as BIPOC. Rayell is also Executive Director at Head/Heart Therapy––but not for long. Trumpets, please, as I introduce folks to the next owner of the practice! Say what?!?! I said it. I mean it. I'm doing it! And when you meet Rayell, you'll understand why she's the logical choice to guide Head/Heart Therapy into the future. Had I not brought her on once the pandemic hit in 2020, I genuinely don't think I would've survived.  Here's to the promise of continued emotional evolution for both Rayell and Head/Heart Therapy. Let's bear witness to the future of anti-racist, anti-oppressive, liberatory therapy together. GUEST BIO Rayell Grayson LCPC, CADC, is a licensed clinical professional counselor, certified addictions counselor, and the Executive Director of Head/Heart Therapy. She holds a Master’s of Arts degree in clinical counseling psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Rayell specializes in: substance abuse/addiction, complex PTSD, trauma/racial trauma, cultural/racial identity development, life adjustments/transitions, stress management, mood disorders, anxiety, relational complications, domestic and sexual violence, low self-esteem/self-worth struggles, women’s issues, and health/wellness concerns. Rayell is currently holding space and centering her work around those who identify as BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

If you look up the word “radical”, you’ll find definitions for its noun- and adjective-based usages. Marvin Toliver, MSW, LCSW, embodies both. He's a self-respecting bisexual man of color who refuses to bear the crushing weight of racist, capitalist, heteronormative systems. Instead, Marvin advocates fiercely for marginalized folks and won’t accept anything less than complete liberation and revolutionary social change.  Radical Therapy Center is a group practice where folks with marginalized identities are prioritized. The trauma-informed care is focused on liberation not only for their clients but for anyone whose identity is stigmatized (and worse) by the colonial philosophies governing our daily lives––that goes for many therapeutic environments as well. Melanated Social Work, the group Marvin co-founded with three Black and Brown therapists, is yet another way he’s bringing radical change directly to marginalized people, bypassing the “wellness” structures that cause them intentional and covert harm.  Radical change takes root when everyone has space to grow into the genuine expression of who they are. Marvin sees his challenges, coupled with his privilege, as a bridge for folks routinely excluded from conversations about self-love and transformative healing.  GUEST BIO Marvin Toliver, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker born and raised in Oakland, CA. He is a radical therapist, radical educator, consultant, guest lecturer, and dope human. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Oh, nothing, just me and Heidi Savell, LCSW, my new fave polyamory coach, replacing capitalism with divine feminine energy, repairing acute attachment wounds, and returning agency to anyone frustrated by the limits of monogamous relationships.  OK, before we go any further into this convo, let me emphatically state that neither Heidi nor I have anything against monogamy. Furthermore, monogamists still on board with our discussion will learn a lot about emotional intimacy from polyamorous folks, like navigating jealousy and setting clear boundaries. Win-win-win! So how did we arrive at this current wave of poly-popularity? Heidi says we owe much of the spotlight to the pandemic. Two years into various stages of lockdown and social separation have exposed myriad societal issues, not least of which is the unrealistic assumption that a single partner can (or is willing to) fulfill all our needs.  It’s helpful to have a professional guide, especially in the early stages of your polyamory growth. Heidi’s own journey prompted her to create the coaching practice she wishes she had access to as a poly newbie. With her help, fledgling polyamorists gain the skills necessary to build meaningful connections and address old wounds in the process.  Could widespread post-pandemic polyamory be the antidote to patriarchal power-hoarding and capitalism’s doctrine of scarcity? Sign me up for polyamory’s brand of emotional abundance! Poly-curious? Sign up for Heidi’s “Managing Jealousy” free mini-course and newsletter at She Loves Radically. GUEST BIO Heidi Savell, LCSW, is a polyamory relationship coach and therapist. She believes that polyamory can be an empowering and satisfying relationship model, and is passionate about helping folks find ways to thrive in these relationships.  For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Moin Subhani is a Toronto-based psychotherapist who practices the Gestalt method. Moin likens the modality to emotional intelligence 101, an awareness of intra- and interpersonal truths. That inward/outward journey is one Moin knows well. ”Growing up in this society, especially as a Brown person, queer, it was hard for me to sit comfortably in my skin and love myself.”  His corporate career made the task doubly difficult. In a setting where the aggressive male stereotype is at best tolerated and at worst celebrated, any show of displeasure or vocalized anger by a person of color is generally deemed a threat to rigid roles and accepted strategies for overpowering challenges to the reigning authority.  Y’all know that when anger is shoved down, it corrupts from the inside out. The emotion continues to simmer until it boils over, often in the gut of subsequent generations––and isn’t that what we’re experiencing now as the world is made to examine past injustices in order to create a more equitable future for all?  Moin feels that Gestalt fosters a more thorough unlearning and rewiring process. In an age of accelerated global reckoning, where our anger is regularly misunderstood or aggressively disregarded, there’s promise in reclaiming our anger as power with rather than power over. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE The Astrology Podcast Astral Realms Crystal Oracle Deck Gestalt Institute of Toronto NARM - NeuroAffective Relational Model GUEST BIO Moin Subhani is a Registered Psychotherapist. As a therapist, Moin is compassionate, creative and playful. He completed his psychotherapy training at the Gestalt Institute of Toronto and is a life-long student of Eastern Spirituality. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Let's settle this once and for all: astrology is a science like quantum physics and theoretical math. Please don't come at me; I've got a former chemical engineer on my side. Actually, my guest Sara Calvarese, the aforementioned former chemical engineer, made that bold proclamation at the top of our chat. Throughout the convo, Sara drops truth bombs supporting astrology's place alongside other analytical pursuits along with quotable gems regarding small business ownership, community, and eroding capitalism.  Astrology, entrepreneurship, and degrowth––a trifecta of healing endeavors that this Wounded Healer is intensely passionate about (cue my inner Chiron monologue!). If you don't know much, or anything, about these topics, let this episode be your gateway.  Let Sara provide deeper insight into the mystic-scientific connection for those well-acquainted with the good stuff. Sara is an anti-capitalist, self-proclaimed science witch and owner of The 8th House ethical modern metaphysical shop in Mount Holly, NJ (on Lenape land). If you want a heads-up on what's coming, a scientific assessment of the stars could provide warning, wisdom, and a way forward.  *** To donate to Sista Afya’s Whole Women, Whole Communities campaign, please visit: https://donorbox.org/saccwholewomen/fundraiser/sarah-buino GUEST BIO Sara Calvarese is an anti-capitalist, "science witch" who owns The 8th House - an ethical modern metaphysical shop in Mount Holly, NJ (on Lenape land). She is an astrologer, tarot reader, deck creator, author, and maker. She comes from a long line of small business owners and enjoys advocating for small businesses struggling to exist in late-stage capitalism.  For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Shout out to all the black sheep! Given the interactions I’ve had with many of you over on IG, self-declared black sheep make up most of this Wounded Healer’s audience. We kindred souls are a misunderstood bunch.  With so many black sheep about town, you’d expect to find volumes written in our honor. Where are the books detailing our experiences or offering keen insight into the unique psyche of black sheep? Fear not! The definitive tome on black sheep is in its research phase, courtesy of my guest Kathi Hennessey, LICSW.  Kathi’s black sheep backstory is laden with classic markers: Irish Catholic upbringing, a family history of alcoholism, resentment, denial, divorce. Those compounded traumas don’t always add up to black sheep designation. So what does? Kathi aims to find out. She hopes her research will offer guidance on how folks can black sheep better because––families.   Bad and embarrassing? The OED got it wrong. Sure, black sheep unleash Kali energy on that sticky generational trauma loop. But we do so as a means of healing. If smashing the status quo lands us outside a broken family dynamic, bring it on. Black sheep are a breed apart. And we’re far from alone.  *** To donate to Sista Afya’s Whole Women, Whole Communities campaign, please visit: https://donorbox.org/saccwholewomen/fundraiser/sarah-buino GUEST BIO Kathi Hennessey LICSW is a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice in Massachusetts. I am conducting research on people who are the black sheep of their families. As the black sheep of my family, I was looking for support and validation for my healing journey. For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

Pardon me while I drop my first ever LIVE episode into this space! And, wouldn’t you know it, my guest and I cover all the Conversations With a Wounded Healer favorites: community, connection, spiritual anchors, resiliency, the white-washing of mental wellness spaces, and the importance of therapists engaging in their own work (natch).  What a joy to sit beside Camesha Jones, LCSW, at Sista Afya Community Mental Wellness, her gorgeous social enterprise located in Chicago’s South Shore neighborhood. Founded in 2017, Sista Afya is dedicated to providing low- to no-cost mental wellness services that center the experiences of Black women. Let’s chat about why centers like it are important––and, believe me, there aren’t many places like Sista Afya, sadly. “Sometimes people keep saying this BS that Black people don't want to engage in therapy,” says Camesha. Ah, yes, the narrative about which communities are and aren’t receptive to supportive healing, created by those outside the community to stigmatize and keep critical infrastructure like therapy from reaching those who need it. Camesha flatly refutes the trope.  Camesha has built a center that’s community focused down to its core. The name, for instance, combines sista, a term of endearment used between Black women, and afya, a Swahili word that means to be healthy, free from psychological and physical illness.  In her own life, Camesha takes continual care to address challenges inherent to living with bi-polar disorder. She offers hope to folks, including fellow therapists, with similar experiences, modelling self-awareness and practicing sustainable self-care while running a successful business. “I go to therapy. I go to my psychiatrist. I take my meds. I do all the things [ ] and that's part of why I call myself a mental illness survivor,” she says, adding, “we're dealing with some of the same things, we're all dealing with some of the same things. It doesn't mean that we can't be effective in this work.” GUEST BIO Camesha Jones, LCSW, is a Social Worker, Entrepreneur, and Community Mental Wellness Advocate who serves at the intersection of culture, community, and social justice. Camesha strongly believes in eliminating barriers in the mental health field that people of diverse cultural backgrounds experience by creating affordable and accessible care that centers on the well-being of the whole person. Camesha is the Founder and Executive Director of Sista Afya Community Mental Wellness.  “WHOLE WOMAN, WHOLE COMMUNITIES” FUNDRAISER INFO To donate to Sista Afya’s campaign, please visit: https://donorbox.org/saccwholewomen/fundraiser/sarah-buino I’m excited to support Sista Afya’s Fall campaign, “Whole Women. Whole Communities.” This year, Sista Afya Community Care has offered 650 free therapy sessions and over 35 community workshops and classes that have collectively served over 200 women. The goal is to raise $35,000 to continue offering free mental wellness care to Black women in Chicago. They need your support to sustain the progress they’ve made so far. Sista Afya continues to remove barriers to accessing mental wellness care in their communities. Will you contribute to the annual year-end campaign by giving $50, $100, $250, or whatever amount you can towards our goal of $35,000 to help deepen the impact in providing free mental wellness care for Black women? The campaign will run the entire month of December, but make sure to donate now.  For full show notes, resources, and links to connect with our guest, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi