20 Minutes with Bronwyn

If you’ve been with me for a while, you will recognize my guest on this week’s episode— the amazing Ben Kiker. I talk about Ben a LOT, because he is one of my sanity secrets. He helps keep the overwhelm at bay, and the energy high. I wanted to create an episode that gives you some thought provoking questions … ways to shape your year. There is just so much we can’t control in this life, but we can control our intentions, creating practices that set us up for successful and fulfilling 2022.

In the “before times” (AKA pre-Covid), the month of January always brought with it a kind of open-hearted optimism, which acted as fuel propelling us into a new year. But the past two Januaries have been less open-hearted for many of us. Less optimistic.  Maybe like me, you spent the holidays with Omicron.  Or maybe you avoided Covid, but are still carrying the weight of all the uncertainty and burn-out of the past 2 years. Either way, my friend, this episode is calling out to you from a place of possibility. Of hope. This episode is like a phone call straight to your soul.…  So listen in, because you’re about to meet the marvelous Scott Shute. Scott is the former Head of Mindfulness and Compassion Programs and VP of Global Customer Operations at Linkedin. Scott has since left that position to focus FULL TIME on his consulting practice, helping companies of all shapes and sizes to become more conscious and compassionate through his speaking engagements, workshops, and executive coaching. Scott helps people build their own self-awareness through meditations and retreats, and his recent book—The Full Body Yes: Change Your Work and the World from the Inside Out. After getting through 2 years of what feels like a constant state of NO, the idea of a full body YES is just delicious to me, and I can’t wait for you to meet Scott and hear more about this concept … this practice.  You can find Scott on scottshute.com and linkedin.com/in/scottshute. Can’t wait to hear what you think of our conversation! Shine on, B

It’s the final countdown … and this week’s podcast episode (the last of 2021!) is dedicated to ONE category of listener: Those who struggle with tricky family dynamics during the Holidays. For many people, the holidays conjure feelings of closeness and long standing traditions that bring joy. But for a whole lot of people, the holidays carry the energy signatures of dread. Anxiety. Avoidance.  Not every family can be the Huxtables. (I mean jeeze, not even the Huxtables were the Huxtables as it turns out.) This episodeLINK is 100% focused on strategies for navigating difficult people, conversations, emotions … you name it.  It’s like a box of chocolates, but you DO know what you’re gonna get: a bevy of tested and true techniques for staying sane, loving, and grounded. Even when old Uncle Whatsisname has too much to drink and says something crazy. Even when someone has the gall to ask you why you haven’t had more kids (or why you had so many). Even when politics comes up.  It’s all in here, and it’s all good. Give it a listen here. Shine on, my friend.  

I think it’s safe to say that the politics of the past several years has made us cynical. That’s definitely been my experience. But recently, I attended a fundraiser for an organization called the Service First Women’s Victory Fund. They are on “campaign to elevate the collective voice of elected women leaders who have dedicated their lives to serving our country and who know what it means to put service and country over partisan politics. Together, we are building a new normal where service leaders and women lead the way in Congress.” ​​https://www.servicefirstwomensvictoryfund.com/ Friends, they renewed my faith. And today, I have two incredible congresswomen who represent the fund to talk to us. You are about to meet Representative Chrissy Houlahan, who serves Pennsylvania’s 6th district and Representative Abigail Spanberger, who serves Virginia’s 7th district. Get ready for a dose of inspiration, and a VERY renewed sense of urgency to get involved in our very fragile democracy.

One of my FAVORITE songs of the last few years is a little ditty called My Type by a band called Saint Motel. My daughter Stella turned me onto it, and it has been on heavy, heavy rotation in my house (and car) ever since.   So imagine my delight when lead singer A/J Jackson’s team reached out to see if I’d be open to having him on my show to talk about his new project.   You will be able to hear my barely concealed fan-girling in this episode, but I did manage to ask him several questions I had to know the answer to.   A/J and his band Saint Motel have performed on some pretty big stages. Think Coachella, Bottle Rocket, Madison Square Garden (opening for Panic! at the Disco), and about a badrillion other venues.    I wanted to ask him what it’s like to perform at that level.   As a singer myself (wink wink), I wanted to know about his vocal warm-up routine (it’s hilarious) and any weird pre-game rituals (rhythmic slapping anyone?).   And I REALLY wanted to understand the thinking behind his recent move beyond music to create something altogether new … by founding an eye wear company!  AVIEW is A/J’s new project,  an eye wear brand that taps into the psychology of color therapy.  I’m fascinated by people who resisted the temptation to just sit around and binge-watch all that streaming had to offer during the pandemic-2020, they actually made something.  The conversation did NOT disappoint, and I can’t wait for you to meet A/J. Check it out ... links to resources below! AVIEW: https://www.aview.com/ My Type: https://spoti.fi/3cg80bJ

In Russian, the word for procrastination is: “provolochka“ In Arabic, they say, “taswif an” In Spanish, it’s aplazar.  In other words, procrastination transcends culture, race, gender, and even transcends time. Seneca was talking about procrastination during the ROMAN Imperial Period, and famously said:  “The fool, with all his other faults, has this also, he is always getting ready to live.” The tendency to procrastinate seems to be baked into our behavioral DNA as homo sapiens. Which seems like some kind of cosmic joke, given how SHORT our lives truly are.  This episode is dedicated to sharing the ONE technique that has changed the procrastination game for me. I’ve never shared it publicly before because it is so laughably simple, but what the heck, I might as well come clean!  This episode is packed with practical strategies for getting around your very human case of procrastination, and I mention a few resources, which I’ve listed here for your viewing/reading/listening pleasure: https://mailchi.mp/bronwyncommunications/procrastination  My Focus + Shine Worksheet Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence by Dr. Anna Lembke Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport “To Stop Procrastinating Start by Understanding the Emotions Involved”, by Shirley S. Wang, Wall Street Journal, 2015 Gwyneth Paltrow x Brené Brown on the Roots of Shame and Vulnerability, Goop Podcast

I have historically had a VERY fraught relationship with eating.    I grew up in Orange County, California, where eating disorders were a rite of passage. And I don’t say that flippantly—almost everyone I knew growing up had a disordered relationship to eating, myself included.   I remember pulling into the student parking lot at my high school and seeing some kid’s Volkswagen decorated with a bumper sticker that read, “No Fat Chicks, my Bug will Scrape.” I remember feeling a sense of alarm … like, I had just been schooled on one of the fundamental rules of adolescence in my community: DO NOT be fat. Whatever else you may do.   I know this tortured dynamic isn’t unique to me. Most women I know have a difficult relationship with food.    It’s VERY confusing to have a tortured relationship to something you literally cannot  live without.Food is a fact of our humanity. But for so many of us, it is a fact shrouded in myth and morality and twisted by culture.    It’s a mess.   My guest today is someone who I think has the potential to break through the misinformation (and frankly, the misogyny) associated with food. Her name is Vanessa Rissetto, and I fell madly in love with her during this conversation. I know you will too.   Vanessa is a registered dietician who Essence named “one of the top 5 black nutritionists that will make you change the way you think about nutrition”.  

A few weeks ago, I was giving one of my favorite talks to a team of professionals at one of my favorite clients. The talk is all about how to build a powerful morning ritual. Something that sets you up for excellence, all day long. At one point, a woman in the session asked me a question … as a mother, how do you get over the feeling of guilt that comes with taking all that time for yourself? I nearly tore my skin off when she asked this.  Why? For about a million different reasons … Because I too have felt this gut-twisting guilt. Because I know that women feel it far more often and more acutely than men feel it. Because I know that question is tied to a much deeper truth about working mothers that we struggle to articulate. That guilt that we feel anytime we take time for ourselves is tied to something poisonous in our culture. This episode is my attempt to shine a light on my journey as a working mother, and how I’ve developed a working rapport with that guilt.  This episode is my attempt to reclaim and redefine what it means to be a “good mother”.  But most of all, this episode is my love letter to every single working mother out there. Ravenmothers*: We ride at dawn.  

The past 18 months have brought a LOT of change and adaptation.   Some of the ways we adapted during the pandemic have been incredibly useful. We took a long, hard look at what we say yes to. What we say no to. If we weren’t already great at washing our hands, we sure as hell are now.   But there is one adaptation that makes me nervous.    That my friends … is our increased consumption of alcohol.    And when I say “our” I really mean MY relationship to alcohol, and perhaps you can relate. It went from a weekend funtime activity to a daily unwind ritual. That’s a major jump in consumption.   Apparently, I’m not alone in this. This specific adaptation—leaning on alcohol to get through the past year and a half—has disproportionately affected women.   According to a RAND Corporation survey on alcohol consumption,  during the Covid-19 pandemic, women have upped their “heavy drinking days” (that’s defined by 4 or more glasses a day) by 41% compared to pre-pandemic.    Here’s the thing : Not all of us are “alcoholics,” but a LOT of us are drinking alcoholically.    I’m worried about us. And I wanted to talk to someone about their journey dealing with alcohol and addiction, and what a life of sobriety could look like.   And I could think of no better guide, no better teacher than my dear friend Maryann Minck. Maryann Minck is a treasure. She’s on Instagram (if you don’t already follow her, you really should), and she is a private chef to some VERY fancy people in Laguna Beach california. Think big wigs. Think celebs. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know Maryann because during the pandemic 1.0, she and I did an IG live most Sundays called Cooking with Coco. (She and I have known each other since we were 6 years old, and have called each other Coco for decades, hence the name of the IG lives.)   Here are quick links to the resources she mentioned during the conversation:   The Promises Poem The AA “Big Book” How to find a chapter near you.   So sit back, pour yourself a “decompression Perrier” as Maryann says, and enjoy my dear friend Maryann Minck.   Shine on … we need your light.   B

Welcome to Season 4! To kick things off, I wanted to focus on the toxic communication pattern of martyrdom. Why? Because as communication patterns go, few are as unnerving and damaging to our relationships as martyrdom, AND as communication patterns go, few are as EFFECTIVE in a twisted sense as playing the role of martyr. As they say, we repeat behaviors because on some level, they WORK. Which is why it is so difficult to STOP. So why is martyrdom so powerful? And what can we do about it when it surfaces inside of ourselves, or in others? That's what we're talking about this week.