In 2004, feminist author Stephenie Meyer critiqued the romance genre with her parody book, Twilight, featuring a man so abusive and a woman so dull that no one could ever admire either character. Today we give her masterpiece the academic analysis it deserves. Just kidding, we’re roasting this one. Plus, Kellen is keeping this book away from his 17-year-old daughter and Dave places a bounty on Edward’s head.*To buy the book, Twilight, or listen to it free on Audible AND support the podcast, click here!https://amzn.to/3DDuGQW*TheBookPilePodcast@gmail.com*Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's Got Talent, and the Amazon Original Series Inside Jokes. He has garnered over 50 million views with his clips on Dry Bar Comedy. In 2018 he was selected to perform on the “New Faces” showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec. Kellen was named one of TBS's Top Ten Comics to Watch in 2017. He currently tours the country.*David Vance's videos have garnered over 1 billion views. He has written viral ads for companies like Squatty Potty, Chatbooks, and Lumē, and sketches for the comedy show Studio C. His work has received two Webby Awards, and appeared on Conan. He currently works as a writer on the sitcom Freelancers.

Back to the Future is a story of a 17-year-old high-schooler hanging out with a super, super old man, much like our upcoming episode on Twilight. We Don’t Need Roads tells the story behind this groundbreaking sci-fi series. Plus, Kellen harasses DeLorean drivers, and Dave has an apology for Rebecca Black.*To buy the book, We Don't  Need Roads, or listen to it free on Audible AND support the podcast, click here!https://amzn.to/3OCOtWU*TheBookPilePodcast@gmail.com*Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's Got Talent, and the Amazon Original Series Inside Jokes. He has garnered over 50 million views with his clips on Dry Bar Comedy. In 2018 he was selected to perform on the “New Faces” showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec. Kellen was named one of TBS's Top Ten Comics to Watch in 2017. He currently tours the country.*David Vance's videos have garnered over 1 billion views. He has written viral ads for companies like Squatty Potty, Chatbooks, and Lumē, and sketches for the comedy show Studio C. His work has received two Webby Awards, and appeared on Conan. He currently works as a writer on the sitcom Freelancers.

The longest Harry Potter book, and the only one that is named after a city in Arizona. We explore how the emotions of this book resonate so forcefully, why it pays off so effectively, and why Professor Umbridge is basically worse than Voldemort (fun fact, Stephen King called her, "...the greatest make-believe villain to come along since Hannibal Lecter").  Plus, Dave thinks the prophecy changes nothing, and Kellen barely makes it through discussing the most bonkers section of the Department of Mysteries.*To buy the book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, or listen to it free on Audible AND support the podcast, click here!https://amzn.to/3OfaHNd*TheBookPilePodcast@gmail.com*Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's Got Talent, and the Amazon Original Series Inside Jokes. He has garnered over 50 million views with his clips on Dry Bar Comedy. In 2018 he was selected to perform on the “New Faces” showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec. Kellen was named one of TBS's Top Ten Comics to Watch in 2017. He currently tours the country.*David Vance's videos have garnered over 1 billion views. He has written viral ads for companies like Squatty Potty, Chatbooks, and Lumē, and sketches for the comedy show Studio C. His work has received two Webby Awards, and appeared on Conan. He currently works as a writer on the sitcom Freelancers.

In Why We Sleep, Matthew Walker delivers an important message (“Get enough sleep!”) using a fascinating, innovative method (lying). Seriously, we were surprised to learn how thoroughly this book has been fact-checked. But we still think sleep is important! Plus, Kellen is tired of being harassed for being a night owl, and Dave wants you to help him be harder to trick.*To buy the book, Why We Sleep, or listen to it free on Audible AND support the podcast, click here!https://amzn.to/3QlbDCp*TheBookPilePodcast@gmail.com*Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's Got Talent, and the Amazon Original Series Inside Jokes. He has garnered over 50 million views with his clips on Dry Bar Comedy. In 2018 he was selected to perform on the “New Faces” showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec. Kellen was named one of TBS's Top Ten Comics to Watch in 2017. He currently tours the country.*David Vance's videos have garnered over 1 billion views. He has written viral ads for companies like Squatty Potty, Chatbooks, and Lumē, and sketches for the comedy show Studio C. His work has received two Webby Awards, and appeared on Conan. He currently works as a writer on the sitcom Freelancers.

Leonardo da Vinci is best known for saving Drew Barrymore in Ever After, leaving clues for Tom Hanks in The Da Vinci Code, and painting The Last Supper. Today’s episode follows the life of this true Renaissance man. But really, we think we've narrowed this fantastic 700 page book down to its best (and funniest) moments. Plus, Dave wants to shame you for not being as accomplished as Leonardo, and Kellen proposes a new system of measurement...*To buy the book, Bears Want to Kill You, or listen to it free on Audible AND support the podcast, click here!https://amzn.to/3qcxmlm

George Orwell wrote 1984 while slowly dying of tuberculosis on a miserably cold island, and boy does it show! Today we cover his classic take on totalitarianism. Plus, Kellen finds his new home decor -- pneumatic tubes! -- and Dave talks about Orwell’s sad, painful life.*To buy the book, 1984, or listen to it free on Audible AND support the podcast, click here!https://amzn.to/45cJbXy*TheBookPilePodcast@gmail.com*Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's Got Talent, and the Amazon Original Series Inside Jokes. He has garnered over 50 million views with his clips on Dry Bar Comedy. In 2018 he was selected to perform on the “New Faces” showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec. Kellen was named one of TBS's Top Ten Comics to Watch in 2017. He currently tours the country.*David Vance's videos have garnered over 1 billion views. He has written viral ads for companies like Squatty Potty, Chatbooks, and Lumē, and sketches for the comedy show Studio C. His work has received two Webby Awards, and appeared on Conan. He currently works as a writer on the sitcom Freelancers.

In 7 Habits, Stephen Covey tries to trick you into being a better person by showing how it makes you better at business. No thanks! We prefer the Dale Carnegie method of sucking up to the powerful so we can drain them of resources like ravenous, insatiable tapeworms. (We’re only interested in 7 Habits if one of those habits is “grifting”.) Plus, Dave has a story about a dumb optometrist, and Kellen has a brush with a bow and arrow. But seriously, this is a good book.*To buy the book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, or listen to it free on Audible AND support the podcast, click here!https://amzn.to/456TJYe*TheBookPilePodcast@gmail.com*Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's Got Talent, and the Amazon Original Series Inside Jokes. He has garnered over 50 million views with his clips on Dry Bar Comedy. In 2018 he was selected to perform on the “New Faces” showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec. Kellen was named one of TBS's Top Ten Comics to Watch in 2017. He currently tours the country.*David Vance's videos have garnered over 1 billion views. He has written viral ads for companies like Squatty Potty, Chatbooks, and Lumē, and sketches for the comedy show Studio C. His work has received two Webby Awards, and appeared on Conan. He currently works as a writer on the sitcom Freelancers.

Today on The Book Pile, we’re pleased to launch the career of promising new author Jane Austen, whose novel Emma tells the story of a girl named Emma. (You can support Jane at her Patreon or via PayPal!) Plus, Kellen believes arguments make stories more interesting. (Counter-argument: no.) And Dave gives tips for breaking up your friend’s engagement.*To buy the book, Emma, or listen to it free on Audible AND support the podcast, click here!https://amzn.to/3q8UwJATheBookPilePodcast@gmail.com*Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's Got Talent, and the Amazon Original Series Inside Jokes. He has garnered over 50 million views with his clips on Dry Bar Comedy. In 2018 he was selected to perform on the “New Faces” showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec. Kellen was named one of TBS's Top Ten Comics to Watch in 2017. He currently tours the country.*David Vance's videos have garnered over 1 billion views. He has written viral ads for companies like Squatty Potty, Chatbooks, and Lumē, and sketches for the comedy show Studio C. His work has received two Webby Awards, and appeared on Conan. He currently works as a writer on the sitcom Freelancers.

Tolkien is the first person to invent both a new genre (high fantasy) and a new type of person (the nerd). Before Tolkien, thousands of young geeks could only engage in their classic hobbies, like being sickly or dying of consumption. Plus, Dave has sympathy for orcs, and Kellen wishes Tolkien left in more details...*To buy the book, The Fellowship of the Ring, or listen to it free on Audible AND support the podcast, click here!https://amzn.to/3Kmx4iI*TheBookPilePodcast@gmail.com*Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's Got Talent, and the Amazon Original Series Inside Jokes. He has garnered over 50 million views with his clips on Dry Bar Comedy. In 2018 he was selected to perform on the “New Faces” showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec. Kellen was named one of TBS's Top Ten Comics to Watch in 2017. He currently tours the country.*David Vance's videos have garnered over 1 billion views. He has written viral ads for companies like Squatty Potty, Chatbooks, and Lumē, and sketches for the comedy show Studio C. His work has received two Webby Awards, and appeared on Conan. He currently works as a writer on the sitcom Freelancers.

Yes Please is the memoir of comedian Amy Poehler, which inspired us to write our own memoirs with similar titles. (Excuse Me by Kellen; Can you Pass the Salt? by Dave.) Plus, Kellen REALLY wants you to send him your movie script. And Dave is inspired by Conan O’Brien’s unrelenting self-cruelty. (He’s just like us!)*To buy the book, Yes Please, or listen to it free on Audible AND support the podcast, click here!https://amzn.to/3rZHn5Q*TheBookPilePodcast@gmail.com*Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's Got Talent, and the Amazon Original Series Inside Jokes. He has garnered over 50 million views with his clips on Dry Bar Comedy. In 2018 he was selected to perform on the “New Faces” showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec. Kellen was named one of TBS's Top Ten Comics to Watch in 2017. He currently tours the country.*David Vance's videos have garnered over 1 billion views. He has written viral ads for companies like Squatty Potty, Chatbooks, and Lumē, and sketches for the comedy show Studio C. His work has received two Webby Awards, and appeared on Conan. He currently works as a writer on the sitcom Freelancers.