Alive Again

Aileen Loy grew up inside a storm—descended from indentured laborers, raised in a rigid, often violent household, and taught to keep the family together at any cost. At 13, she watched a Halloween car crash fling her four-month-older nephew through a windshield; the year before, a beloved brother had died by suicide. For years she became the caretaker and the peacemaker—“a people pleaser” who never prioritized her own pain—until the reckoning came: an ICU stay after a suicidal spiral and the hard decision to break from the patterns that were breaking her. In this raw conversation, Aileen traces the inheritance of shame and self-loathing, the pressure to assimilate, and the moment she realized, “I am a severely damaged person,” then chose to heal—through truth-telling, boundaries, and art. It’s a story about refusing the “family curse,” and finding dignity beyond survival.  Content note: This episode includes discussion of family violence, a fatal accident involving a child, suicide and suicidal ideation, depression, and intergenerational trauma. Listener discretion advised. If you or someone you love is struggling, you’re not alone. In the U.S., dial or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Stpory Producer: Nicholas Tecosky If you have a transformative near-death experience to share, we’d love to hear your story! Please email us at aliveagainproject@gmail.com We’d love to hear your story! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“We've taken huge steps backwards in the last few years with warfare and with violence and with disregarding the rights of human beings. It's time to reverse that and start acknowledging this much deeper lesson that's coming to the fore about the nature of our existence, how we're really all in this together, and to hurt another is to hurt oneself.” - Dr. Eben Alexander A Harvard-trained neurosurgeon once grounded in strict materialism, Dr. Eben Alexander was convinced the brain produced consciousness—until a week-long coma and near-death experience shattered that certainty. In this conversation, we explore his journey from “the mind is nothing but brain” to a wider view in which consciousness is fundamental, separation is an ego-made illusion, and love is the organizing force of reality.  Drawing from Dan Bush’s introduction, we frame the episode as an invitation: to question assumptions, to consider the mounting evidence from NDEs and consciousness science, and to ask what it means to awaken, heal, and come fully alive again. Along the way, Dr. Alexander recounts the medical facts of his illness, the “more-real-than-real” landscapes he encountered, and why practices like meditation and centering prayer can help us access the same unifying field—no brush with death required. We'll talk about the mind's role in shaping reality, the illusion of separation, how profound experiences—whether through trauma, loss, or near-death—can transform us, and also about the powerful transformation that can happen when we step beyond fear and into a larger view of existence. Our show is all about where human experience brushes up against mystery, and how those intersections transform us– so it’s a true privilege to have Dr. Alexander with us today to share his journey and insights. More About Dr. Eben Alexander: Dr. Eben Alexander is a renowned academic neurosurgeon who spent over 25 years teaching and practicing at some of the most prestigious medical institutions in the world, including Harvard Medical School. For most of his career, he held a conventional, materialist view of the mind and brain—until his own near-death experience and remarkable recovery challenged everything he once believed about the nature of reality. His journey from the world of materialist science to a deeper understanding of consciousness has become a beacon for anyone seeking to understand what it truly means to awaken, to heal, and to come fully alive again. His bestselling book, Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife, became a global phenomenon, offering millions of readers a deeply personal and scientifically informed glimpse into the possibilities beyond death. He has since authored several more works, including The Map of Heaven and Living in a Mindful Universe, bridging neuroscience, spirituality, and philosophy in a way few others can. To learn about Dr. Alexander and his work:  https://ebenalexander.com/ For more about the Bigelow Institute for Consciousness Studies and to read the winning essays: https://www.bigelowinstitute.org/index.php/bics-afterlife-proof/bics-essay-contest-winners-2/ If you have a transformative near-death experience to share, we’d love to hear your story! Please email us at aliveagainproject@gmail.com We’d love to hear your story! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Content note: This episode includes strong language, discussion of opioid/heroin and crack use, overdose, stroke, withdrawal, arrest/incarceration, and suicidal hopelessness. Listener discretion advised.   At 27, Scott Jenkins woke up thrashing in a bathtub—his left arm dead, his vision blown out—after days of speedballs and Agatha Christie marathons. Doctors later confirmed he’d had a stroke, but even that didn’t stop the obsession: “I want to get high, I want to get high… It’s all you can think about.” What began with pain pills after routine procedures spiraled into years of heroin and crack, arrests, and a jail-cell detox that finally forced a choice: surrender or disappear. In this raw, unvarnished account, Scott traces the path from the early opioid boom to the economics of switching to heroin, the surreal comedy of being “stuffed to the brim with sausage biscuits” during an arrest, and the moment he decided to let other people help. He rebuilds—six months in rehab, twelve-step work, service, and, eventually, a thriving plumbing company staffed by people in recovery. It’s a story about obsession, consequence, and the quiet miracle of a craving that never came back. If you or someone you love is struggling, you’re not alone. In the U.S., dial or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Story Producer: Nicholas Tecosky If you have a transformative near-death experience to share, we’d love to hear your story! Please email us at aliveagainproject@gmail.com We’d love to hear your story! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

At 17, Nicholas Tecosky, one of our Alive Again story producers, slipped on a rock face above Gem Lake and nearly fell thirty feet to his death—then spent hours lost on the wrong side of the mountain. The brush with mortality was followed by years of anxiety, alcohol, and a brutal run at creative success that left him sleepless, gray, and suicidal. Years later, a harrowing night on psychedelics cracked something open; the morning after, he chose help—therapy, medication, sobriety—and slowly rebuilt a life anchored in love, fatherhood, and a gentler definition of strength. This is a story about escaping the gravity of an abusive past, redefining worth, and discovering that being a good person matters more than being a successful one.  This episode includes discussion of suicidal ideation, substance use (alcohol and psychedelics), childhood trauma, and a near-fatal accident. Listener discretion advised. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. In the U.S., dial or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For resources outside the U.S., please check local crisis services. Story Producer: Nicholas Tecosky If you have a transformative near-death experience to share, we’d love to hear your story! Please email us at aliveagainproject@gmail.com We’d love to hear your story! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Trigger warning: This episode contains a frank discussion of sexual molestation and drug overdose. Listener discretion advised. After a lifetime of compounded trauma—childhood sexual abuse, relentless bullying, chronic illness, and consequently a two-decade opiate dependency—Brandon Densmore overdosed on heroin and flatlined. What happened next changed everything. In vivid detail, Brandon describes the presence he felt, the visions he was shown (including the unbearable image of his mother finding his body), and the deal he made to come back. This is a blunt, no-BS account of clawing out of addiction: medical detox and the radical, unsentimental forgiveness that finally let him drop the weight he’d carried for 20 years. He rebuilt a life—marriage, fatherhood, purpose—and then underwent a second awakening that reframed success as inner quiet over external hustle. It’s raw, direct, and ultimately hopeful. Listener discretion advised for references to sexual abuse, drug use, and overdose. Download Branden’s free Quantum Forgiveness Starter Kit to start dissolving old emotional blocks and step into the life Spirit intended:  https://coach-branden-densmore.kit.com/quantum-foregivness-starter Here’s a link to Brandon’s Facebook profile, where he posts ongoing reflections and resources https://www.facebook.com/branden.densmore   Story Producer: Dan Bush If you have a transformative near-death experience to share, we’d love to hear your story! Please email us at aliveagainproject@gmail.com We’d love to hear your story! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Trigger warning: Discussion and images of gun violence. At 33, championship-level ultimate player and teacher Eileen Murray started coughing up blood—then spent a year being dismissed by doctors before hearing the word no one wants: lymphoma. Six months of chemo followed, buoyed by a community she’d spent years building on the field and in the classroom. Two decades later, driving to a friend’s wedding with her husband and kids, a sniper’s round blew out the back glass—missing her temple by a hair. No one died. It barely made the news. But the PTSD was louder than cancer. In this blunt, compassionate conversation, Eileen unpacks the visions that foreshadowed her diagnosis, the rage and surrender of treatment, and why the shooting reshaped her parenting. She refuses to center the gunman—saving her anger for systems that fail and doubling down on connection: teaching her sons media literacy, checking their sense of belonging, writing them letters for the day she’s gone. It’s a story about cultivating community before you need it, and choosing grace over grievance. Listener discretion advised: frank discussion of cancer, medical trauma, gun violence, and PTSD.   Eileen’s links: Eileen’s ultimate frisbee team - https://www.nygridlockultimate.com/  Eileen also made a blog post about the shooting which you can check out here: https://www.nygridlockultimate.com/blog/wear-orangeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On a dangerous Australian beach, actor Frankie Mulinix was swept down the coast by a powerful undertow, slammed against rocks, and pulled under again and again. Time telescoped; panic rose; then came a stark clarity—“I’m done… I made peace with it.” At the very moment of surrender, a stranger hauled Frankie to safety and lifeguards took over. What followed was the quiet chaos of shame, flashbacks during rehearsals for Dante’s Inferno, and a hard re-examination of identity, purpose, and community. Frankie reflects on accepting death, being “robbed” of that ending, and choosing a second act—anchored by the realization that “we need each other… nobody makes it on their own.”  Today, Frankie is a performer, emcee, producer, dramaturge, choreographer, director, mental health worker, voice and performance educator, swimming and triathlon coach, and intimacy choreographer and coordinator.  Their theatre company Burning Bones Physical Theatre, is dedicated to collaborating with fellow creatives to engage with the local community and expand the possibilities of live performance in daring and imaginative ways. In addition, they are an internationally ranked competitive endurance athlete and integrate their expertise in optimum performance techniques as a teacher, performer, and athlete. Links: IG: @Vandellous   @burningbonesphysicaltheatre @VibranceCentre   website: https://frankiemulinix.com/   Story Producer: Kate Sweeney   * If you have a transformative near-death experience to share, we’d love to hear your story. Please email us at aliveagainproject@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Maggie Slepian flipped her kayak on Montana’s Gallatin River, she found herself trapped underwater, fighting to escape a spray skirt she had never practiced removing. In those harrowing moments, she felt time slow down, her thoughts split between terror, sorrow, and love for her family as she faced the possibility of her final breaths. Surviving the accident left Maggie grappling with PTSD, grief, and the loss of the friend who had pulled her from the water. In this episode of Alive Again, Maggie reflects on her journey from an “indoor child” to an outdoor adventurer, the dangerous drive for validation that pushed her into risk, and the hard-won lesson that the people who love you don’t need you to prove yourself—they love you for who you are. Maggie wrote about her story for Longreads, which you can read here.  Story Producer: Kate Sweeney * If you have a transformative near-death experience to share, we’d love to hear your story. Please email us at aliveagainproject@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when the part of you that defines your identity begins to fail? Dana Swanson was a rising creative force—an award-winning writer-producer at Adult Swim, a voice actor, a musical performer, and a self-proclaimed comedy nerd on the brink of big things. But in 2012, her world unraveled when she began to lose control of her speech. What started as a stuttered sentence became a devastating diagnosis: a rare brain tumor—neuronal neoplasm—lodged in a precarious part of her brain. In this episode of Alive Again, Dana recounts the surreal journey from slurred words to a high-risk, eight-hour brain surgery that would change her life forever. With humor, vulnerability, and crystal clarity, she explores the collapse of identity, the death of an old self, and the painful but profound process of learning to live—and speak—again. But Dana’s story doesn’t end in silence. It becomes a story of spiritual awakening, intuition, chosen purpose, and using her voice to help others connect to their own. From losing her father at 14 to channeling messages from the other side, Dana opens up about survivor’s guilt, intuitive healing, and embracing the power of reinvention. She reminds us that we all have “battle scars,” and that the ability to evolve—again and again—is the truest sign of being alive. Cover Art: Daniel Garcia @Superduperfi Story Producer: Nicholas Tecosky* If you have a transformative near-death experience to share, we’d love to hear your story. Please email us at aliveagainproject@gmail.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When a tornado ripped through his Alabama neighborhood, Chris Alonzo found himself clutching his young son in a closet as the walls shook and the front door blew open. In that moment of terror, his desperate plea—“take me, don’t take my son”—became a prayer.  Raised in a devout Catholic family but long estranged from faith after his grandmother’s painful decline, Chris’s brush with death forced him to confront anger, doubt, and the mystery of survival. In this episode of Alive Again, Chris shares how near-death transformed his understanding of God, community, and unconditional love—and why sometimes, faith is born not from certainty, but from fear, fragility, and the will to protect those we love. Story Producer: Nicholas Tecosky * If you have a transformative near-death experience to share, we’d love to hear your story. Please email us at aliveagainproject@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.