Make Life Less Difficult

My guest today is Doug Tilstra.As I introduce Doug, I’ve debated which title to share first and I think I’ll share that he’s my father-in-law!  And I’m honored to share another podcast with a family member!Doug has more than 44 years of experience as a pastor, professor, mentor, coach, and university administrator.  In the six years leading up to his retirement in 2023, Doug served as the vice president for Student Life at  Walla Walla University.  He managed the challenges of covid, as you’ll hear him share some reflections about, and dealt with a high level of stress in his final years of full-time employment.Doug holds a doctoral degree in organization and management with a specialization in leadership, and two master’s degrees – a Master of Divinity and Master of Science in education.  He’s a Georgetown University-certified leadership coach and certified emotional intelligence trainer.  He is a published author and frequent workshop speaker on a variety of leadership topics.Doug and his wife Lorraine have been married since 1979 and are the proud parents of 3 adult children and adoring grandparents of 2 granddaughters.  Doug loves the outdoors, biking, writing, hiking, and reading.In our conversation today, Doug and I dig into the challenges of retirement and major life transitions.  There are a lot of relevant connections for times of transition, which many people are experiencing this year. Dad, thank you for jumping into this conversation with me.  Thank you for being persistent in making time.  It’s especially rewarding since we’ve been talking about this for several years now!  Your reflections, stories, and wisdom are thought-provoking and inspiring.  If you’d like to connect with Doug or learn more about his work in the world, you’ll find links below:Connect with Doug on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/douglas-tilstra-4a0472/Support the showMake Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Jessica Vogt.Jessica is a holistic leadership development coach who supports people with a foot in many worlds - culturally, professionally, or personally. She works with those who often feel like they belong everywhere and nowhere all at once. With warmth, empathy, curiosity, and a good measure of humour, Jess helps them reconnect with their voice, their worth, and their right to live life on their own terms.Drawing from her own experience as a Child of Deaf Adults (CODA), a lifelong expat, and an ever-curious learner of humans, she blends neuroscience, emotional intelligence, and embodiment practices into a coaching process that helps people build the clarity, confidence, and courage to lead a life that feels like home.She believes that when we live as we are, we lead as we are - creating ripples that inspire others to live and lead as they are too.I met Jess through the kind introduction of Arianne Rice – thank you, Arianne!!  When we first talked, I immediately hoped Jess would say yes to being on the podcast.  And I’m grateful she did because her stories are intriguing and inspiring.In our conversation today, Jess shares about her experiences growing up as a CODA.  How these parts of her journey contribute to shape her and her work today.Jess, thank you so very much for this beautiful conversation.  You are an inspiration to me, to your clients, and are doing such important work in the world to make this world a better and brighter place.To learn more about Jess and the work she does, you’ll find links below:Jessica's website: www.talpaco.com Jessica's linkedin profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jvogt/ Support the showMake Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Sava Riaskoff.Sava is a Performance & Wellbeing Coach, TEDxSpeaker, and Associate Professor at the ESADE MBA in Barcelona. Over the past seven years, he’s worked with leaders and next-gen talent through 1:1 coaching, in-company trainings, and immersive retreats in Europe and Patagonia.His work is deeply shaped by his own journey — from following a path that looked right on paper but left him quietly burning out, to being forced to face some of the hard questions we tend to avoid: What do I actually want? And who am I really, when I stop trying to fit in or live up to other people’s expectations?Today, he helps others explore those same questions — and navigate the uncertainty, self-doubt, and pressure that tend to come with choosing a new path or stepping into leadership.I met Sava through the kind introduction of Adela Warkentin (thank you, Adela!!).  This is a beautiful and inspiring conversation where we explore the intersection of emotional safety and authenticity or vulnerability.  What changes when we choose to be vulnerable and risk the unknown?  Ironically enough, as Sava shares… we find safety, despite it feeling so scary.Sava, thank you for jumping into the deep end of the conversational pool with me!  Thank you for choosing authenticity and vulnerability.  You are an inspiration!  Keep being you and adding such beautiful light to the world!!To learn more about Sava and the work he does in the world, you’ll find links below: Sava’s Website: https://www.inwardpath.comGrowth Week Retreats: https://growthweek.coWatch Sava’s TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WelzFFA0TMlinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/savariaskoffSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Nicole Anderson.Nicole is a seasoned professional with over 20 years of experience in driving organizational success through human-centered change management. As a Partner at The Kaler Group, her unique ability to integrate people, processes, and technology has made her a pivotal force in enhancing organizational effectiveness and fostering positive culture and employee experiences. She is known for her strategic vision, innovative problem-solving skills, and a deep understanding of organizational and team dynamics.  She partners with her clients to empower people and teams to thrive and achieve lasting success.  In our conversation today, Nicole shares pieces of her journey of seeking freedom and learning how to define success for herself.  She shares about both the joys and challenges of this.  When we shift measures of success from the external expectations around us to the internal desires and values, it can be disruptive… and liberating.Nicole, thank you for sharing your stories, your reflections, your wisdom.  I’m so grateful to know you and be inspired by you.  Thank you for the light you are creating in the world and in the lives of those you work with!To learn more about Nicole and her work, you’ll find links below:LinkedInSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Linda Hoopes. Linda helps organizations, teams, and individuals thrive in turbulence.  She’s a writer and speaker on the topics of resilience, change, and employee well-being. Linda is a returning guest, having been on the podcast a couple of years ago with Kris Burbank, where they talked about their co-authored book, Embracing Another Normal: Resilience Stories and Strategies for Raising Children with Disabilities.Linda is back with me today to dig a little deeper into her work around resilience and her framework of Prosilience.  Her book Prosilience: Building Your Resilience for a Turbulent World, helps us assess our readiness for challenge and design a plan to become even stronger. Linda is also a sailor, musician, photographer, and traveler.Linda, thank you for this inspiring and thought-provoking conversation.  Your framework on building the muscles to help us respond effectively during times of turbulence are incredibly practical and applicable in life!  I’m grateful for your perspectives, groundedness, and wisdom.To learn more about Linda and the work she does in the world, you’ll find links below:Resilience Alliance404.309.3331 (c)Calendar: https://doodle.com/mm/lindahoopes/booking Interested in more? Sign up for my newsletters:Prosilience: Strategies for building personal and organizational challenge readinessOrganizational Change Intersections: Fresh perspectives on effective change in organizationsFamily History ProjectsThe Journals of Emma Troutman Boylan: My great-grandmother's journalsTravels with K: My great-aunt's world adventures Support the showMake Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Elif Malmqvist.Elif is an executive coach who is currently studying cognitive neuroscience so she can better understand the why behind human emotions and connections.  Elif is passionate about helping people understand neuroplasticity, specifically around understanding negative thoughts or baggage from the past and how to create more positivity and happiness through better understanding of our brains.Elif and I met many years ago through Margareta Sjolund, who has also been a guest on my podcast.  Our passion for emotional intelligence training linked us and yet because we both moved multiple times to difference countries, this conversation is the first we have had in many years!  Elif is currently based in Malaysia but has lived in various countries in Asia and Europe.  Elif, thank you so much for this inspiring conversation. Thank you for sharing with us your stories and what you are learning about the brain and how it can help create more happiness in our lives.  I can’t wait to hear more about your research!To learn more about Elif and her work, you’ll find links below.Connect with Elif on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elifmalmqvist/ Support the showMake Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Jules Kuroda.Jules’s life passion is helping people get past the ideas they have of themselves to unlock more fulfillment. Our minds are wonderful and dangerous tools, she says, depending on how we wield them.Jules loves complexity and strives for simplicity and believes the world is more interesting with our paradoxes explored.Her aim is to bring more joy and understanding into the world, and I believe our conversation today will bring you both joy and new understanding of the world and yourself.Jules’s book, The N8 Self: You are more than your Mind, Body, and Emotions, offers a tangible way to understand and create more meaning and purpose in our lives.  You’ll hear Jules share principles from her book today that are indeed really practical and tangible.  Jules, thanks for sharing your insights, your stories, your wisdom.  The work you are doing is adding so much light and connection to the world and I’m honored to help share it here.You can find links in the show notes to learn more about Jules and her work.Jules's Website: https://www.n8self.com/Support the showMake Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Welcome back to Make Life Less Difficult.My guest today is Michael Ulrich.Michael is a contemplative psychotherapist based in Copenhagen, Denmark, with a background in clinical practice, systems thinking, and integral development. His work bridges traditional therapeutic modalities with emergent, self-organizing ways of relating and healing.In our conversation today, Michael and I explore the ongoing practice of presence—what it means to meet ourselves and others without needing to fix or explain. We speak about narrative and identity, power and subtlety, and what emerges when we listen deeply, even to silence.This dialogue invited me to slow down, to notice the patterns beneath the words, and to trust the wisdom that arises in shared reflection. Michael’s insights—both personal and professional—are a powerful reminder of how growth and groundedness can coexist.Michael, thank you for this rich and layered conversation. I’m still unpacking it.To learn more about Michael and his work, you can connect with him here:Michael’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/psykologmichaelulrich/Let’s dive in.Support the showMake Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Andra Davidson.Andra is a collaboratively trained Certified Divorce Coach and mediator who created the Better Than Before Divorce™ Program to provide emotional support to men and women navigating divorce.Her clients benefit from her 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding, and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. She believes anyone dealing with divorce can learn to minimize conflict, communicate effectively, and prioritize healthy coparenting.  Her strength-based approach provides the tools and skills needed to reduce overwhelm and make informed decisions based on goals, not emotions.Andra’s favorite past time is enjoying her blended family:  amazing 24-year-old twins, two incredible step-kids, and three adorable dogs.Andra and I met through a storytelling workshop and I was delighted when she agreed to come on the podcast!  Andra graciously shares pieces of her own journey of a divorce she didn’t choose and how she has come to find her strengths, confidence, and purpose on the other side.  We talk about the value of finding your NorthStar through the process of divorce, setting manageable goals, having a support system, and determining the best path of parenting if kids are involved, including the difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting.Andra, thank you so much for this inspiring conversation.  Thank you for sharing deeply meaningful stories and wisdom alongside practical and tangible strategies to make divorce a little less difficult.To connect with Andra and find out more about her work in the world, please see the links below.  There are also links to the books and resources Andra mentions. Website: betterthanbeforedivorce.comSocial Media: https://www.facebook.com/CompassRoseDivorceCoachhttps://www.instagram.com/andradavidson_/https://www.linkedin.com/in/andradavidson/https://www.youtube.com/@CompassRoseDivorce Resources:Bill Eddy, High Conflict Institute, and all his books - https://highconflictinstitute.com/Let Them, Mel RobbinsThe Four Agreements, Don Miguel RuizThe Gifts of Imperfection, Brene BrownParentteam.com (amazing parenting coaches)Support the showMake Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Debra Kiva. Debra is a certified grief educator and coach who works with, and is trained by, renowned grief expert, David Kessler.  Debra facilitates loss groups for Kessler's online grief community, Tender Hearts, and co-facilitates loss groups for grieving complex relationships. And she supports people facing anticipatory grief, the grief of losing a loved one by long term illness/dementia, as she has deep experience in dementia and sibling loss.  As an adult she has experienced the loss of her brother, both parents (who were very difficult/abusive when she was a child), and many friends. Debra also devotes her time as the Director of the Hummingbird Choir, a joyful singing community for those with memory challenges and she is the Co-Director of Yuba Spirit Threshold Singers and a member of Whidbey Island Bedside Singers which brings gentle songs to those on the threshold of life, bringing moments of ease and comfort for clients, family and caregivers.  Debra has begun a new group for working with those who are grieving parents or caregivers were neglectful, narcissistic, emotionally absent, addicted, or mentally ill. She and her co-facilitator Katia Miniovich have created a place where participants can feel understood within the complexities and confusion which may arise from these losses, as these losses are often not recognized by the culture or peers who have had different upbringings. Debra believes that healing happens within connection and she is dedicated to serving others, letting them know they are not alone and are held with compassion. She supports clients on Zoom and in person in her office on Whidbey Island, Washington.I first saw Debra’s name through a notice of her grief group and was so intrigued by this offering, recognizing complex grief and loss.  I reached out and I’m so glad she agreed to come on the podcast.  She and I talk about this deep complexity of grieving loss when the relationships were difficult, for many different reasons.  This isn’t something that I’ve seen talked about in this way before and I share various pieces of my own journey of losing my first husband Eric and the complexity of grieving while recognizing the challenges of our marriage and relationship.We recorded this conversation in early April and it is serendipitous that it’s being published now, as my father passed away just a few days ago, after a slow decline from Dementia with Lewy Bodys.  I was listening to this conversation to get it ready for publication while with my family during my dad’s final few days and wow, I was so grateful!Debra, I’m so incredibly grateful for the connection with you and for this conversation.  Your beautiful and graceful presence is a gift in this world.  Creating spaces for talking about and experiencing grief without judgement is an incredible way to make life less difficult. And one final thing before we jump into our conversation, I just want to share this quote from Debra:  You don’t get over grief, you just continue and grow around it….  You have to figure out how to move forward and grow around it and find more love than pain.If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, please know that you are not alone.  Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’d like to connect. Debra KivaCertified Grief Educator/Support Provider Certified Grief Coach Certified Grief Movement Guide debkiva@gmail.com530 913-0320Support the showMake Life Less Difficult~ Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra