The Modern Manager

In my years of working with managers, one of most frequent questions I get is this: How do I deal with conflict in my team? This dilemma can be approached from two perspectives. First, there are practices a team can adopt to help limit the number of conflicts that arise. Second, there are approaches a team can use to dissolve conflict quickly and effectively. Used together, these techniques can help any team become more cohesive and productive. Today’s guest is Hesha Abrams. With over 30 years of experience solving conflict and difficult problems, Hesha comes to the table as a world-renowned meditator, negotiator, and author. As an expert in conflict and pragmatic solutions, Hesha implements innovative approaches and thought-provoking solutions that obtain favorable outcomes for even the most complex conflicts, including mediating the case over the secret recipe for Pepsi. Hesha's popular new book, Holding The Calm shares her secrets on how to read a situation to solve problems, eliminate conflict, and restore harmony.  Hesha and I talk about what we do wrong that makes it harder to resolve conflicts and she shares some of her practical approaches to addressing conflict more effectively. We also get into how to help your team members resolve conflicts so you can foster stronger teamwork. Members of the Modern Manager community can get a free, 1-hour Zoom if The Modern Manager community together purchases 100 copies of Hesha’s book, Holding the Calm. This book shares key strategies and inspirational treasures to resolve disputes, settle cases, and re-channel arguments; buy it for yourself and your team! Get this bonus when you join the Modern Manager community.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.    Read the related blog article: How to Hold the Calm when Dealing with Conflict   KEEP UP WITH HESHA Website: holdingthecalm.com   Key Takeaways: Conflict is like spilled spaghetti sauce; the sooner you deal with it, the easier it is.  When we don’t understand others, we label them negatively. Confirmation bias then looks for evidence for these negative beliefs of others which further cements our belief.  Try to find redeeming qualities of others or consider how they operate (introvert/extrovert, a kinesthetic/visual/auditory learner) to give yourself a more expansive view of their humanity. Think like a doctor when someone emotionally erupts on you. Instead of looking away, look closer to find clues about their pain.  Create a moat around yourself so that others’ emotions don’t overwhelm you. Repeat “Hold the calm” to remind your amygdala you’re safe.  VUCS others when they are upset by Validating their emotions, Understanding their perspective, Clarifying the situation, and Summarizing what you heard. This takes the wind out of the conflict. If colleagues are warring, meet with them privately. Help them find redeeming qualities of the other and share that positive information with them.  mamie@mamieks.com instagram.com/mamieks

Look in any organization and you'll see a variety of leadership styles. One crucial aspect of leadership is staying true to yourself and what feels most natural to you as a leader, which means not trying to be all things to all people. Research has found that most leadership styles fit into one of four categories. Understanding these categories can help leaders stay true to themselves while enhancing their skills, building their careers, and achieving their organization’s goals. Today’s guest is Robert Jordan. Robert is the CEO of InterimExecs, which matches top executives with companies around the world. Based on research with thousands of leaders and companies, he and Olivia Wagner wrote "Right Leader Right Time: Discover Your Leadership Style for a Winning Career and Company," and have launched the FABS Leadership Assessment, a free assessment at RightLeader.com designed to help leaders and organizations perform better. Jordan also authored "How They Did It: Billion Dollar Insights from the Heart of America," and helped publish "Start With No," Jim Camp’s bestseller on negotiation. Robert and I talk about the four leadership styles, their strengths and optimal conditions in which each leadership style thrives, and how to think about your career to optimize your leadership potential. Members of the Modern Manager community can participate in a free, town-hall style webinar. In this webinar, Robert will give direct, real-time feedback on peoples’ leadership styles to help them grow personally and professionally. Get access when you join the Modern Manager community.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.    Read the related blog article: Use the Four Leadership Styles to Advance Your Work   KEEP UP WITH ROBERT Right Leader website: https://www.rightleader.com/ Interim Executives website: https://interimexecs.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/interim_execs LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robertjjordan/   Key Takeaways: There are four types of leadership approaches; Fixers, Artists, Builders, and Strategists. Each archetype has skills, contexts, and motivators that enable it to thrive. The Fixer is drawn to broken organizations and crises. The Artist sees a project as a blank canvas. They will say or do what others won’t.  The Builder thrives in growing small teams/projects into something much larger. They get bored when scale is achieved. The Strategist loves working with large, complex teams. They have strong company loyalty and love mentorship opportunities.  Most leadership styles (except The Artist) are realized through experience as you go about your career. Pay attention to what excites you. Managers fail when they try to do everything. Secure leaders concentrate on strengths and let others take charge. Be careful not to overdo your strengths. A Fixer might create problems that don’t exist. Have your team take a FABS leadership assessment and share their findings for better collaboration. mamie@mamieks.com instagram.com/mamieks

Focus: It’s an important skill for the success of any organization or individual. While it's natural for anyone to get distracted by new ideas, potential projects, overwhelming to-do lists, and ongoing problems, learning how to focus can save us time and energy in the long-run. Today’s guest is Erik Qualman. Erik is five-time #1 Bestselling Author and Keynote Speaker who has performed in over 55 countries and reached over 50 million people. He was voted the 2nd Most Likeable Author in the World behind Harry Potter's J.K. Rowling. He is the host of the popular Super U Podcast and his work has been used by the National Guard to NBC Universal to NASA.  Erik and I talk about what it means to really be focused. He shares his lessons learned and best tips and tricks for how you and your team can accomplish great things simply by staying focused. Members of the Modern Manager community get a Buy One Get One Free deal on two of his products. The first is his Kittycorn card game, designed for any group to learn easily and have a great time. The second is his book, The Focus Project, designed to provide solutions to the challenge of focusing in an unfocused world. Get them both when you join the Modern Manager community.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.    Read the related blog article: How To Focus So The Big Things Get Done   KEEP UP WITH ERIK Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/equalman/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/equalman TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@equalman.official Super U Podcast contact: eq@equalman.com   Key Takeaways: Fear of failure disrupts focus. Remember that evaluated failure makes us better. Learn from mistakes. When you fix clients’ problems, they are 3 times more likely to be repeat customers.  People don’t love us because we’re perfect, but because we’re perfectly flawed. Aim to be “flawsome.” Trying to do too many things is almost always the wrong approach. Focus on crushing one thing, even if it requires you to cannibalize your own product line. When you add more tasks, subtract others so that you don’t overstuff your To Do list.  The Army Ant tries to do too much at once. Put one project on hold or label one “major” and focus on it first. The Squirrel loves shiny objects and has trouble completing tasks. Make a commitment not to move on to other work until you’ve completed your priority at hand. The Chameleon is a people pleaser who has difficulty saying no. Find little wins for saying no, ask yourself if this is what you want to be doing, and don’t guess what others want.  The Hedgehog is cautious about taking risks. Let go of perfectionism before moving forward. Do the Superhero pose to reduce cortisol and empower yourself. Be firm in your destination but flexible in your path. Let go of sunken costs, even if it’s hard to move on. Ask why you do things a certain way and if you can change. Go where the market and future opportunities are. mamie@mamieks.com instagram.com/mamieks

Whether you want to develop new products, update internal processes, or make sure that every client is satisfied with your service, one thing is true: you need to be clear about your goals. Without direction, you will lose your way. Direction comes from having a bold vision of what you want your life, team, and organization to look like. Then, you must create actionable steps to move forward. Today’s guest is Lisa McCarthy. Lisa is the CEO and co-founder of the Fast Forward Group, a training and executive coaching company based on the philosophy that when people are living their best lives, they do their best work. Clients include innovative companies of all sizes, including Amazon, Facebook, Google and JPMorgan Chase. Prior to launching Fast Forward, Lisa spent 25 years leading sales organizations at prominent media companies, including ViacomCBS and Univision. Lisa and I talk about goals and establishing a bold vision. She shares why goals like these are important and she walks us through her process that has helped over 100,000 people achieve their big dreams. Members of the Modern Manager community get two FREE months of Lisa’s Fast Forward membership program, which has helped thousands of professionals play big, manage stress, and achieve extraordinary success. Get it when you join the Modern Manager community.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.    Read the related blog article: Set Big Goals With Your Team   KEEP UP WITH LISA Membership Website: https://fastforwardgroup.net/ Personal Website: https://lisamccarthy.co/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisamccarthyffg/   Key Takeaways: We resist goal setting because we’re risk averse; we’d rather underpromise and overdeliver. To encourage thinking big, managers must assure their team that there won’t be any negative consequences if expectations aren’t reached. Challenge self-limiting beliefs (I’m not X enough, I don’t have the right background, etc) that stop you from dreaming of your future.  Create a vision of where you want to be in a year. What does “extraordinary success” look like?  Reflect on your qualities. What are you known for in your professional and personal life? What are your most important relationships like? Are these what you want them to be? Make goals bold, specific, and measurable. Avoid vague terms like “better” and “more”.  Be as detailed as possible. What would be accomplished? How would you feel? Write out 2 pages for your vision. Have each team member individually create a vision and goals. Then share at a team meeting to build accountability and support.  Consider a team vision. What would success look like? What kind of language would you use? Additional Resources: Fast Forward’s monthly free intro workshops: https://fastforwardgroup.net/free-leadership-workshops/ Fast Foward’s Bold Vision Exercise download: https://fastforwardgroup.net/bold-vision-exercise-download/ Fast Foward’s Design my Program tool: https://fastforwardgroup.net/design-my-program/ mamie@mamieks.com instagram.com/mamieks

Management is about helping other people achieve greatness - in the results they produce and the career path they take. However, if you've had any experience as a manager, you know how difficult it can be to help a variety of people develop their skill sets and get work done, all while fostering healthy team dynamics and driving towards goals. It helps to know the specific areas you should focus on to help your team grow most efficiently with the limited time you have. Today’s guest is Russ Laraway. Russ has had a diverse 28 year operational management career. He was a Company Commander in the Marine Corps before starting his first company, Pathfinders. From there, Russ went to the Wharton School, and then onto management roles at Google and Twitter. He then co-founded Candor, Inc., along with best selling author Kim Scott. Russ and I talk about what he’s discovered through research are the most important areas of focus for a manager. We get into why it's so hard to be a great manager, and what you can do to immediately put Russ’s finding to work for your team. One member of the Modern Manager community can get a copy of Russ’s book: When They Win, You Win. Russ provides a handbook for managers on how to implement The Big 3 - a surprisingly simple, coherent leadership approach that measurably and predictably delivers more engaged employees and better business results. To be eligible, join the Modern Manager community as a Patron or sign up for The Modern Manager Skills Accelerator.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and transcripts delivered to your inbox.    Read the related blog article: Simplify Management by Focusing on These Three Areas   KEEP UP WITH RUSS Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whentheywin  Twitter: https://twitter.com/theywinyouwin  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theywinyouwin/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/russlaraway/    Key Takeaways: Research has proven that more engaged employees deliver 2.5 times more revenue.  Managers may feel overwhelmed by deciding what advice to follow. Simplify management by focusing on direction, coaching, and career. Develop direction by clarifying your long-term purpose and vision, and short-term quarterly goals.  Reduce workload by prioritizing daily and weekly tasks.  Hold Stand Up Meetings where everyone shares their weekly goals and use a Slack bot to prompt employees to enter daily goals.  Serve as a coach to your team members to help them deliver stronger results and better behaviors. Desired behaviors are those aligned with your organizational or team core values. Encourage your team to either repeat successful behaviors or understand what they need to change.  Avoid vague feedback. Use the phrase “Do you know what I love about your…” to encourage positive behaviors. We are here to assist our teammates realize their wildest dreams, not just do well in their current role. Help your people develop their long term vision of where they ultimately want to end up.  Look for opportunities to help them grow and advance in alignment with that vision. mamie@mamieks.com instagram.com/mamieks

Anyone who's worked on a team knows that communication can be a challenge. Sometimes, common problems require creative solutions. Improv is a powerful tool that brings out the best in any group or team. It’s not just for comedians; it can be used to create new ideas, solve problems, explore feelings, and connect with each other. Today’s guest is Brian Rolnick-Fox, the Founder, CEO, and Chief Evangelist of Nimble Learning Strategies. Brian has been using improvisation as a channel for individual growth, group development, and organizational success since 1999. He has delivered communication and leadership programs for a diverse set of organizations from Fortune 100 companies to educational institutions some of which include Citibank, Goodyear, Dartmouth College, and Harvard Business School.   Brian and I talk about what we can learn from the field of comedic improv to help us be better communicators. We get into specific behaviors, mindsets, principles and tactics that can help us connect and collaborate better, plus we have a whole lot of fun. Members of the Modern Manager community get a free Communication and Collaboration document from Nimble Learning Strategies. This document describes the three As of communication and how you can implement them to communicate more effectively in your daily life. Get it when you join the Modern Manager community.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.    Read the related blog article: How Managers Can Use Improv Strategies to Improve Communications   KEEP UP WITH BRIAN Website: https://www.nimblelearningstrategies.com Company LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/nimblelearningstrategies Personal LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/brianrolnickfox   Key Takeaways: We are always naturally improvising; we take in stimuli and respond to them in the moment.  Improv strategies can help us collaborate better by providing an opportunity to explicitly talk about how we communicate and collaborate. We often forget that people or departments have different perspectives and assume we’re all seeing the situation the same. Being specific in our language is essential to ensuring everyone is on the same page.  Participating in an improv game or activity can feel uncomfortable, but that’s an opportunity to acknowledge vulnerability and stretch yourself. Working in sync requires us to listen, watch, and adapt ourselves to others. Improv is successful because it’s grounded in the idea that “I’ve got your back” - whatever you do on stage, I’ll receive and take forward. We can cultivate the same atmosphere in our teams. Improv also creates opportunities to form inside jokes, strengthening a team’s sense of connection.  For specific improv activities to do with your team, check out the related blog article. mamie@mamieks.com instagram.com/mamieks

Authentic leadership is unique to each of us. It's about understanding and being comfortable with who you are so that you can leverage your strengths. We can then use that information to guide our choices and lift up those around us. When you understand your strengths and values, they can create a personal roadmap to success. Today’s guest is Lance Tanaka. Lance is an Executive Leadership Expert. He and his team elevate leaders and their teams to increase business production, performance and profits. Lance and I talk about lessons from his latest book Dream and Achieve: 90 Days to a life of purpose. We walk through the process that Lance and hundreds of others have used to help clarify their goals and take steps towards their desired future. Members of the Modern Manager community get 25% off Lance’s course, Dream & Achieve. This course has helped thousands of successful executives identify their purpose and move down the path to realizing it. Get this generous discount if you register before September 30, 2022. Get it when you join the Modern Manager community.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.    Check out the new Modern Manager Skills Accelerator!   Read the related blog article: Carve a Path at Work That is Authentically You   KEEP UP WITH LANCE Website: lancetanaka360.com   Key Takeaways: Focus more time on honing your strengths rather than fixing your weaknesses. The DNA “Dream N’ Achieve” process is a 90 day journey of self discovery and charting a path forward. First, reflect on your strengths and passions. Then look for common themes, ideally no more than 9. Drill into those elements with who/what/where/when/why questions to further clarify what matters most to you. Do this DNA process as a team activity. Others often see our strengths better than we do. Trying to Find your “True North” may slow you down. Instead, create a balance between all your needs by going in the right direction and adjusting over time accordingly. There are three outcomes that result from following your DNA: (1) a big shift to a new company/career/city, (2) a sideways shift to a different team or role in the same company, or (3) minor shifts that lead to a major tipping point down the road. Employees need purpose. When you help them find their DNA, they may leave, but they may also have greater loyalty to a workplace that enables them to shine. mamie@mamieks.com instagram.com/mamieks

Microaggressions are harmful words and actions that stem from biases and stereotypes. They’re subconscious, meaning we may not even realize we’re being offensive or biased. The damage they inflict can be long-lasting and impact how individuals relate to us and the entire company. As managers, it's our responsibility to create a professional work environment that fosters understanding and listening, so all people can feel safe and supported at work. Today’s guest is Martine Kalaw. Martine is an Elevation Strategist - she shifts mindsets, builds bridges & delivers results. She is the author of Illegal Among Us, experienced being an undocumented immigrant, and is a DEI Consultant. Martine and I talk about how to confront, respond to and learn from uncomfortable DEI situations in the workplace. Maybe it’s something you said that landed the wrong way with a team member or maybe it’s something a colleague did that was insensitive or exclusionary. We talk about microaggressions and how to get smarter about your own behavior since so often we don’t even realize we’re creating harm. Members of the Modern Manager community can get a free 60-Minute Masterclass: Advancing DEI. Scheduled for September 22, this 60-minute class will give you the top five keys to advancing DEI in your workplace over the course of 90 days. Get it when you join the Modern Manager community.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.    Read the related blog article: What To Do About Microaggressions In The Workplace   KEEP UP WITH MARTINE Website: https://martinekalaw.com/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/MartineKalawEnterprisesLLC Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/martinekalaw/?hl=en LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/martinekalawconsulting/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/martinekalaw  Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQTb6zI5m4jehE-czyT8SvQ/featured   Key Takeaways: Microaggressions are actions or words that are unintentionally offensive, stemming from biases and stereotypes. 40% of people leave their jobs due to microaggressions. Microaggressions come from biases rather than personal encounters. The more diversity on the team, the fewer microaggressions.  Microaggressions are diminished when there’s more than one person from that background on a team. Set aside 10 minutes during 1-on-1 meetings to ask for feedback to learn if you said anything harmful or if the preson has experienced any harm.  When informed of a microaggression, don’t react defensively. You don’t need to agree to be an ally. Listen to understand rather than defending your honor. Engage in solutions together. Consider what could be said/done differently. Ask your employee’s permission to ask follow up questions so it doesn’t feel like an interrogation. If it’s not the right time, address it at a future date. Show vulnerability that you are on this DEI journey and admit your mistakes. Employees will respect you for your growth mindset.  mamie@mamieks.com instagram.com/mamieks

Brainstorming is a method of developing ideas in a group setting. It's used to solve problems, come up with new ideas, and generally explore possibilities. While it may seem like a simple task, there’s often much more than meets the eye when it comes to effective brainstorming. Working through various exercises helps you not only generate ideas but also deeply understand the situation you are looking at.  Today's episode is about brainstorming. Almost every team, at some point, has a brainstorming session. While brainstorming can be as straightforward as “okay, what ideas do you have?” There are also different methods to help you make the most of your brainstorming time together, and that’s what I cover here. The full episode guide includes lists of prompts and suggested approaches for boosting your brainstorming sessions. Get it when you join the Modern Manager community or purchase the full guide at www.themodernmanager.com/shop.     Get the free mini-guide at themodernmanager.com/miniguides.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles, and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.    Read the related blog article: 3 Brainstorming Strategies for Every Situation   Key Takeaways: Separate the idea generation from idea evaluation in order to facilitate creative thinking. Use the phrase “If I had a magic wand…” to help people avoid censoring their ideas based on what they think is feasible or will be viewed as “good” by their colleagues. Prepare specific prompts ahead of time to help get people thinking more broadly. For example, “How might we use our space differently?” or “What 1-time changes could we make?” or “What global trends might impact us?” Ask people to “wear specific hats” to get them to think from other people’s perspectives. For example, “how would Steve Jobs solve this problem?" Try iterating on a single idea to see if there is a version of that idea that is more feasible or more impactful. Give people time to brainstorm quietly on their own before sharing all ideas out loud.  mamie@mamieks.com instagram.com/mamieks

Identifying the core values and potential motivators of your team members isn't always the easiest task. There are a lot of factors to consider when it comes to each individual personality, which makes for a delicate interpretation process. But optimizing your relationships with others comes down to understanding one thing: what on earth makes them tick? Today’s guest is Rob Toomey. As President of TypeCoach, Rob lives at the intersection of his two passions: personality type and entrepreneurship. Working with 800 global client organizations, he has delivered live sessions to more than 50,000 participants and the TypeCoach online tools have reached more than 185,000 people. Rob is also Managing Director of The Idea Factory which is focused on early stage app and website projects. Rob and I talk about the four temperaments - he’ll explain these better than I can in one sentence, but in essence we’re talking about the four different personality type core values and motivators. By identifying which of the four temperaments each of your team members identifies with, you’ll be able to use more effective strategies to motivate, appreciate and engage each person.  Members of the Modern Manager community get a free Motivation and Feedback document. This will help you gain new insight into what makes people tick and how to tailor your feedback differently to each of the four temperaments for maximum impact. Get it when you join the Modern Manager community.   Subscribe to my newsletter to get episodes, articles and free mini-guides delivered to your inbox.    Read the related blog article: How To Motivate Your Employees Based on the 4 Temperaments   KEEP UP WITH ROB Website: Typecoach.com   Key Takeaways: Our temperament is our source of motivational energy.  There are 4 Temperaments based on categories of introversion/extroversion, judgers/perceivers, thinkers/feelers, sensory/intuitive.  Introversion/extroversion is whether we get energy from being alone or with others. Judging/Perceiving is how we prefer structure, whether playful or decisive planning. Sensory/Intuitive is how we take in and process information. Thinking/Feeling is whether we approach a situation through objective analysis or considering our feelings/values. The 4 Temperaments break down into Sensory Judgers, Sensory Perceivers, Intuitive Thinkers, and Intuitive Feelers. SJ (Sensory Judgers) are also known as Traditionalists. Their core values are reliability and responsibility. Don’t tell them to relax. If stressed, offer to take things off their plate.  SP (Sensory Perceivers) are more relaxed and playful about getting work done. Their core value is to take action and get results. Don’t micromanage SPs; they respond best to a free-spirited environment.  NTs (Intuitive Thinkers) are conceptual problem solvers who love long term strategic thinking. Their core value is leaving a positive impact. Give them context for why their work matters and benefits them. Don’t question their competency.  NFs ( Intuitive Feeler) are also known as The Idealists. They are future focused on new ideas, but are people and value-centered rather than analytical. NFs’ core values are helping others reach their full potential, and self actualizing in the process. Concentrate on building a strong environment of connection and belonging in the office for them to thrive. To figure out your team’s temperament, ask them what their motivational force is at work.  Experiment with giving teammates various feedback to see what most motivates them.  Be careful to remember individual temperament needs when stressed because that’s when we revert to personal preferences.  mamie@mamieks.com instagram.com/mamieks