Make It a Great One with Dr. Dan: #1 Podcast for Inspiring Conversations to Live and Lead On Purpose

Today Dr. Dan discusses children and “entitlement vs. earning” with author Michael G. Wetter (http://www.drwetter.com/). In Earn It: What to Do When Your Kid Needs an Entitlement Intervention, author Michael G. Wetter, PsyD (with co-author Eileen Bailey) has written a comprehensive guide to stop parents when they say to themselves, “I just want him to be  happy!”  “I just want her to have all the things that I never had!” and move them towards more mindful parenting. Dr. Dan and Michael Wetter agree that entitlement is a provocative and important topic. Dr. Wetter explains how it’s important to teach parents of children of all ages clear strategies and techniques to help change and shape our child’s character by instilling a sense of responsibility, accountability, kindness, and caring. Dr. Dan and Dr. Wetter explore why parents must teach resilience to our children. They both agree that parents can create a family life and culture where responsibilities are honored, praise has meaning, decisions are made skillfully, and gratitude is second nature. And on top of that our children are happy. This all comes from teaching resilience.   The interview also discusses the culture of success and the necessity of failure. Dr. Wetter calls this “successful failure” and this is part of resilience building. The third topic of discussion today is about wants vs. needs because this attitude relates directly to entitlement and earning. The perfect example is technology – many children confuse wanting a new digital device with needing that device. Parents need to ask themselves “how does my child earn this?” and “why does my child need this?” and often these two questions are the key to teaching our children the difference. These lessons reflect values. Teaching children about earning means we will raise motivated adults who understand that many of the best things in life are earned. Dr. Wetter encourages parents to think about the long term goals for their children and the big picture of how they want their children to be and live. The show wraps up with Dr. Wetter’s Parent Footprint moment and the story of how his daughter taught him the importance of preserving that magical natural born kindness that lives in all of our young children. It’s a truly inspiring moment and one listeners will think about long after the show ends. A nationally recognized behavioral health expert, Dr. Michael G. Wetter is a Diplomate and Fellow of the American Psychotherapy Association, and has served as an Oral Examination Commissioner and Subject Matter Expert for the California State Licensing Board of Psychology. He is an active member of the American Psychological Association, American Academy of Psychologists, the National Alliance of Psychology Providers, and the California Psychological Association. Dr. Wetter is a nationally recognized expert in the field of Psychology, published author, and an invited speaker and guest lecturer, training other psychologists and mental health professionals. www.drwetter.com Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever felt awkward in a social situation? Today Dr. Dan’s guest is Ty Tashiro, Ph.D. (http://tytashiro.com/) the author of AWKWARD: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome. A psychologist and interpersonal relationship expert, Ty Tashiro gives Dr. Dan and listeners an illuminating look at what it means to be awkward and how we can all embrace our personal quirks to harness our potential and more comfortably navigate this complex world.  For awkward people (this includes adults and children), the simple act of navigating everyday situations can feel very overwhelming. Often unable to grasp social cues or master the skills and grace necessary for smooth interaction, they feel out of sync with those around them. How can parents help themselves and their children embrace their awkwardness?  Growing up Ty Tashiro was awkward himself -- he could do complex arithmetic in his head and memorize the earned run averages of every National League starting pitcher but he struggled during interactions with other kids and was prone to forgetting routine social expectations. During today’s interview Dr. Dan and Dr. Tashiro explore Ty’s personal story, the differences between boys vs. girls as well as the nature vs. nurture origins of awkwardness. A highlight of the interview is how parents can feel comfort and find community knowing their children are not alone. Parents must be patient, supportive, and not overreact to their child’s awkwardness. Awkwardness can mean your child is passionate, driven, or even gifted.  Dr. Dan explains that most of us feel a little awkward sometime in our lives, and that awkwardness is not social anxiety. When a parent remains calm and gives children a social script while acting patiently they can teach their children how to feel empowered to better navigate the complexities of the social world. Supporting our socially awkward children will help their self-esteem and potential. And it can also foster empathy and kindness.  During the Parent Footprint moment, Ty talks about his own childhood interest in baseball statistics and how his passion could have been perceived as awkward or even worrisome for his parents. But when his parents bought him a special encyclopedia he realized not only did his parents accept him but that they loved him unconditionally and they were really with him. Decades later this anecdote is still a powerful one for Ty.  TY TASHIRO, Ph.D., is also the author of The Science of Happily Ever After. His work has been featured in the New York Times, the Washington Post, Time.com, TheAtlantic.com, and on NPR and Sirius XM Stars radio. He received his Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Minnesota, has been an award-winning professor at the University of Maryland and University of Colorado, and has addressed TED@NYC, Harvard Business School, MIT’s Media Lab, and the American Psychological Association. He lives in New York City. For more information visit:  http://tytashiro.com/ Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Dan welcomes Mel Schwartz today. This exciting episode is about the incredible work of psychotherapist Mel Schwartz and his new book THE POSSIBILITY PRINCIPLE. Mel’s groundbreaking philosophy about reality and quantum physics will make readers think and embark on self-examination journeys. Today’s episode challenges readers to answer the question Mel’s been asking his clients for over 20 years: How would you like to experience your life? Dr. Dan and Mel Schwartz discuss how THE POSSIBILITY PRINCIPLE offers a revolutionary approach to how we can live the life we choose—free from the wounds of our past and the constraints of our ingrained beliefs and thoughts. It’s a blueprint for how to overcome anxiety and depression and shows us how we can thrive in our relationships and develop authentic self-esteem. And it is this groundbreaking philosophy that parents can learn to model and teach their children. By answering Mel’s simple question we can all begin to believe that our goals and desires are attainable. By embracing uncertainty (and making the unknown our ally) we embrace the flow of life—and what better lesson to teach our children and families? When we show our children who we are and when we live in an authentic way we show our own true self to our children and we genuinely reach them. Listeners will hear how and why mastering our own thoughts—and teaching our children to master their thoughts—ultimately means we can truly become the master of our own life. Mel’s Parent Footprint moment is rich advice and is all about children seeking their own potential. When his son came home with a less than perfect report card and as a Dad he reacted in way that was critical and caused his son to share this poignant third grade wisdom: Let me be a kid Dad! And his son was right. Mel Schwartz wants us to share our life story with our children: Our successes, failures, vulnerability, and triumphs—all of our whole actual life with them. Mel Schwartz LCSW, MPhil, is a psychotherapist and marriage counselor in private practice in Westport, CT and Manhattan for over 20 years. He is an emerging voice in the field of personal transformation and is one of the first practicing psychotherapists to integrate the principles of quantum physics into a psychotherapeutic approach. He earned his graduate degree from Columbia University. Mel is the author of The Art of Intimacy, The Pleasure of Passion, and he blogs for Psychology Today. He has written over 100 articles, read by more than 1.5 million people. For more information: http://melschwartz.com/ Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today Dr. Dan welcomes Dr. Marilyn Paul, an author, parent and well being expert. Marilyn‘s passion is the basis of her new book for parents and families An Oasis in Time: How a Day of Rest Can Save Your Life (Rodale, August 2017) – in it she shows us all how a day of rest can transform and save lives.  We live in hurried times. We value busy-ness, juggling too much, and trying to reach daily pie-in-the-sky goals. We are connected 24/7 and we are passing these habits on to our children. Dr. Paul encourages us to make small changes to make big life changes - spending meaningful time in nature or attending a family dinner and taking a day of rest is a gift we can give ourselves and our children. Listeners today will learn that there are practical strategies for creating their own modern-day Sabbath or day of rest, whatever their religious beliefs. Scheduled rest time is life-affirming and creates an oasis.  Parents can integrate "oasis time" into their lives by examining their habits and finding and scheduling “pause time” – purposefully. There is power in STOPPING and making it sacred. And you can do this with your family – stretching, deep breathing, looking at a tree, turning off all screens, playing a board game, going on a family walk. By seeking a way to pause and refresh ourselves we will recover from exhaustion and at the same time teach our children this crucial life lesson that should be a priority.  Dr. Dan and Dr. Paul talk about “giving up achievement” on your day of rest. Dr. Dan goes on to explain how being present with yourself and your loved ones (and avoid the need To Do) is a paradigm shifting way of thinking and living.  The Parent Footprint moment Marilyn describes is eye-opening: Marilyn considered herself a parent who limited her own cell phone usage. But when Marilyn’s son called her a phone addict, Marilyn learned she was wrong and started to simply STOP using her device when she is with her son. Nothing is more important than being with her child and so she puts the phone away now. With a Ph.D. from the Yale School of Management and an M.B.A. from Cornell, Dr. Paul takes a creative, integrative approach that blends practical skills training with inner work. As a senior consultant with Bridgeway Partners, an organizational consulting group based in the San Francisco Bay Area, she has worked with a wide range of companies, non-profits, religious organizations and educational institutions. In addition to her consulting work, she has taught on the faculties of Yale University School of Medicine, the Hebrew University School of Public Health and Colby College in Waterville Maine. In her new book, An Oasis in Time: How a Day of Rest Can Save Your Life (Rodale, 2017), http://marilynpaul.com/an-oasis-in-time-book/ Dr. Paul shows that a solution for the modern sense of relentless pressure can be found in the ancient tradition of the Sabbath. Among the many profound benefits of taking a day off each week are renewed perspective, enhanced creativity and a refreshed outlook on life. Drawing on Sabbath history, contemporary research and her own personal experience, Dr. Paul shows readers how to design a weekly time off, carve out the time from busy schedule and most importantly, change their mindset to have the pleasure of regularly slowing down every week. Marilyn is also the author of It's Hard to Make a Difference When You Can't Find Your Keys: The Seven-Step Path to Becoming Truly Organized and has been featured in USA Today,The Boston Globe,The Chicago Tribune, NPR, the Discovery Channel and Yoga Journal. Dr. Paul lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and son. For more information, please visit www.marilynpaul.com. Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today’s episode Dr. Dan welcomes Summit Center colleague Dr. Paula Wilkes to discuss how to create well being for ourselves and our families. Dr. Dan and Dr. Wilkes discuss how we can help all children discover their true nature and find their inner peace. This episode also devotes time to the particular challenges of gifted and spiritually sensitive children. Dr. Wilkes lives by deliberately making mindfulness and well being her daily goals as a result of her own personal journey with stress and pain. Her “morning workout” is easy to follow and transformative. She explains that by modeling wellness to our children they will begin to learn about the mind and body connection. During the interview listeners will hear how we can all create calm and peace in our lives: by not rushing, by listening to calm music, by practicing meditation, by finding on-the-go mindful moments and much more. Dr. Wilkes defines mindfulness as being in the moment as life is happening. And for our children because regulation and environment contribute to well being then as parents and educators we need to teach our children to practice self-kindness, self-awareness, and self-love so that they can learn to nourish a feeling of peace in themselves. In one of the most memorable Parent Footprint moments, Paula beautifully recounts to Dr. Dan how her own lifelong evolution of self-awareness and well being profoundly influenced her own daughter’s career and life choices when she became a mother. Paula’s journey benefited her adult daughter in immeasurable ways. Today’s episode proves how important the core value of Parent Footprint is: that we must take good care of ourselves so that we can take good care of our children and grandchildren. Paula Wilkes, Ph.D has worked in gifted education for more than 35 years as a public school teacher, a university professor, and a gifted consultant. She is currently a coach for gifted children and adults at Summit Center in Los Angeles. Dr. Wilkes provides cognitive coaching, counseling, and consultation for children and their parents on gifted and “twice-exceptional” issues (including sensitivity and intensity). In addition, she is a coach for gifted and twice-exceptional adults who may be struggling with issues related to misdiagnosis, multi-potentiality, anxiety, work and/or relationship challenges, and a desire to make a stronger connection to their spiritual sensitivity. Dr. Wilkes is a mother and grandmother who focuses her attention on creating calm, loving environments for herself, her family, and her clients. She is available for face-to-face consultations in Los Angeles, and by Skype, with experience working with international clients. You can learn more about her at, http://summitcenter.us/about/professionals/drpaulawilkes/ and http://www.CoachingTheGifted.net/ Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Dan joyfully welcomes author and Rhodes Scholar Jessica Teich today (www.byjessicateich.com). Jessica’s memoir The Future Tense of Joy has been universally praised by many including Meryl Streep, Steve Martin, Daniel Silva, countless reviewers and a diverse group of bloggers for its honest, courageous, and real discussion of fear, suicide, violence against women, sexual abuse and rape. Through her writing and her own harrowing story Jessica advocates for victims of violence and sexual abuse as well as anyone struggling with anxiety and mental illness. Ultimately, Jessica is a real life role model for purposeful parenting, facing fears, equality, philanthropy, and volunteerism. Her writing has built a community of connection and a safe place for truth telling. Jessica’s deeply personal take on how she is a survivor and how her own resilience is a daily process that she cultivates for herself and her daughters and family – by tuning into the noises and violence she experienced when she was sixteen she freed herself through the book and writing. It’s through her daily ritual of facing her own fears that she has found joy and is now passing that skill to her daughters. Dr. Dan and Jessica Teich talk about real life parenting experiences during their conversation and all parents will relate to topics ranging from perfectionism to homework to the viral Netflix series “13 Reasons Why” and how as parents we need to model how to filter and how to help our teens sort through new -- and oftentimes -- frightening adolescent experiences. We are our children’s best and most influential resource -- we need to listen and really hear them. Dr. Dan emphasizes how our children are always watching:  they see and hear what we are doing and then learn from our examples. This episode deeply connects to how Parent Footprint challenges us all to be our best for ourselves and our children. Dr. Dan asks Jessica about her one piece of advice to work through fear and to find joy – be present. This thought-provoking episode wraps up with Jessica’s Parent Footprint moment about her own unfounded fear of a particular ice cream when her children were young and she poignantly describes how she had to push away this irrational fear in order to open up the whole wide world of joy to her children – ice cream and all! Jessica Teich graduated summa cum laude from Yale and received an M.Phil degree from Oxford, where she was a Rhodes scholar. Her previous book, Trees Make The Best Mobiles: Simple Ways To Raise Your Child In A Complex World, appeared in Vanity Fair, People, Us, and The Chicago Tribune, and was featured on the Today Show. For almost a decade, Teich worked as a literary manager at the Mark Taper Forum, commissioning and developing plays. She subsequently received a grant to write and direct a movie for the Directing Workshop for Women at the American Film Institute. Teich served as head of the Biography committee for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, and her articles have appeared in The Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, and numerous other publications. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two daughters, and dog. Praise for The Future Tense of Joy: "A daring and intimate journey into the soul of motherhood. Compelling." —Steve Martin "Intoxicating and deeply immersive. This elegant book has a cinematic immediacy. It’s a page turner and thriller in the best sense of both words." —Daniel Silva, New York Times bestselling author "Jessica Teich's understanding of trauma is the infallible authority upon which her tale rests. But the delicacy and nuance with which she renders this story is that of a poet. This beautiful, compassionately imagined book will bring a pang of recognition to anyone who has traveled to young adulthood from a wounded adolescence via the quest for 'perfection.'" —Meryl Streep For more information visit http://byjessicateich.com/ Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Dan welcomes Oprah Winfrey favorite, author, entrepreneur and parent Mary Carlomagno to this episode. Today’s interview will delight listeners because it is all about chasing your dreams, living in experiences (as opposed to buying materialistic things) and being present. www.marycarlomagno.com Mary has a fresh approach to navigating parenting – she lives by the motto dream big (“Leap and the net will appear!”) and live fully (but with balance and passion)!  Just like in her organizing business, Mary teaches the daily practice of modeling behavior for and with her own family. Her deliberate ways of parenting will open up how listeners think about their own parenting. Dr. Dan agrees with Mary that modeling our best selves for our children is the most important thing we can do for our kids – and ourselves. Dr. Dan frames their lively conversation by talking about Parent Footprint’s main core value: when we are aware of our own goals and our own visions then we are successfully living in the moment and leaving the best footprints for our children to follow.  Mary lives with purpose and passion – from her journey to live more simply with less to her deeper philosophy about rituals and good habits to her current dream of releasing her first novel -- BEST FRIEND FOR HIRE -- which will be published on June 20, 2017.  Mary’s Parent Footprint moment relates back to her own lifelong love of books and reading. She poignantly describes one day this passion came full circle with her own children when she visited her son’s classroom as a mystery reader and for the first time he saw her not just as Mom but as a whole, happy, fulfilled person and a role model.  As the founder and owner of Order www.orderperiod.com, Mary Carlomagno lives by a philosophy that is simple and can applied to all parts of our lives -- do not let clutter control your life. Her first book Give It Up! My Year of Learning to Live Better with Less is published by HarperCollins. Her second book, Secrets of Simplicity is published by Chronicle Books. Her third book Live More, Want Less is published by Storey Publishing. Mary has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, the Today Show, Fox and Friends, CBS News and Good Housekeeping TV. She has been interviewed on National Public Radio, the Joan Hamburg Show, Martha Stewart Living and has been featured in Real Simple, Woman’s Day, Newsday and the New York Daily News. Mary writes frequently on the subject of getting organized for magazines and newspapers including the Washington Post, the Philadelphia Inquirer. For more information visit www.marycarlomagno.com Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Dan is very excited about today’s episode with guest Kimberlee Anne King because the focus is on many of the core values of Parent Footprint.  The two discuss Kimberlee’s work with parents and families, her book and how she is revoltionizing modern parenting by telling parents to work on their own issues first and then their parenting will not only improve it will soar! Kimberlee Anne King is a parent of four, stepparent of three, author, co-founder of Inspired Attention, Inc., educational consultant, speaker, mentor, and parent coach.   Her first-hand parenting experience over the last 20 years has given her a unique perspective on how to overcome the challenges and frustrations of parenting whether the children are gifted, challenged, or neurotypical. In her book, Parenting is Hard. Suffering is Optional. A Handbook for Parents on the Brink, she gives the reader a peek into her own humorous and heart-wrenching and very personal journey as she discovered the key to becoming a better parent: Work on yourself and your children will follow. We cannot fix our children or eliminate chaos in life. We can, however, work on becoming the best version of ourselves, learning along the way to experience joy despite our circumstances. Suffering is truly optional. Kimberlee Anne and Dr. Dan discuss many compelling topics in today’s including how to be happy despite chaos, judgement (don’t do it!), gratitude, radical self-acceptance, ego, present parenting, self-improvement, perfectionism, cutting the proverbial umbilical cord (especially if our kids have challenges) and so much more. Intensely positive, Kimberlee shares the wisdom that suffering really is optional – you DO have a choice.  And she shares the ONE thing she always recommends to parents: dig into your own self and examine what work you can do on you and your own issues. When we as parents grow, when we shift into the positive so will our children. The episode wraps up with Dr. Dan’s Parent Footprint Moment question. Since Kimberlee’s book (and life!) are full of Parent Footprint moments her answer will really stir listeners deeply:  how the decision to give herself the gift of radical self-care early in her own parenting journey transformed her parenting forever because of one simple sentence her son said. Kimberlee has also lectured at universities, public and private schools, parent groups, and conferences; and she is a PhD candidate in Complementary, Alternative, and Integrative Medical Therapies.   More information is on her website and her blog. Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Dan welcomes author/editor/expert Lisa Stiepock of ToughLove to the Parent Footprint podcast. Among other achievements Lisa Stiepock was the Editor of Disney’s award winning parenting magazine Wondertime and she is currently the editor of UCONN magazine. Dr. Dan and Lisa discuss the new parenting anthology (Dan is a contributor) toughLOVE: Raising Confident, Kind, Resilient Kids (published by Simon & Schuster) and the companion online platform. Lisa’s vision as editor was to bring together amazing parenting experts in an advice book and online for tackling the many different parenting challenges. In addition to a book ToughLove is also a thriving unique online community. Lisa explains that the book and community provide balanced, practical advice for parents from child psychology experts on how to handle almost everything - from picky eating to media consumption to the homework wars. Questions such as: How do we set limits on what our children are exposed to without sheltering them too much? How do we raise them to be resilient, empathetic, upstanding adults? How do we get them to put down their smartphones and have a conversation with us? How do we spend time with our teenagers when it appears that they don’t want to be with us? Dr. Dan and Lisa dive into several chapters in detail and discuss how the challenges of parenting evolve as the world becomes more complex. The book offers advice from professors at Ivy League medical schools, New York Times bestselling authors, and top parenting coaches who have appeared on the Today show, Good Morning America, TheOprah Winfrey Show, CBS Evening News, 20/20, CNN World News Tonight, and NPR. They address many issues, from the timeless (picky eating, homework battles, how to have The Talk) to the timely (social media safety, feelings of entitlement, ways to balance schedules). Their breadth of clinical expertise and years of coaching real families will help parents build a commonsense framework for approaching all kinds of dilemmas in a way that reflects their personal values and preferred parenting styles. Lisa distills all of her own incredible experience and work and gives us some parenting advice that will work for every age – listen. She’s takes this one-word concept with her every day of her own parenting journey and Dr. Dan explains why. Finally, the show ends with Lisa’s Parent Footprint moment – which is actually made up of many moments. As a Mom her favorite (and recent) moment was with her teen daughter participating in a local Women’s March movement and it represented the culmination of Lisa’s parenting by modeling the importance of giving back, taking a stand, and the importance of being part of social causes and the political community. And perhaps most of all Lisa reflects on how she taught her daughter about the importance of family. Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today Dr. Dan Peters welcomes expert Lisa Van Gemert the founder of Gifted Guru to discuss the important topic of Perfectionism. Both Dr. Dan and Lisa are recovering Perfectionists and today they define the condition (“unreasonable expectations with a lack of self-love”) and then teach us how to push through mistakes and discover a path to recovery based on managing perfectionism. The episodes opens with Lisa sharing a very personal story of her own struggle with perfectionism and how she organically came to this life-changing work. Lisa’s new book, Perfectionism: Practical Strategies for Managing Never Good Enough, is the foundation for today’s important discussion about signs to look for in our children and students and how to manage perfectionism with several strategies. Listeners will love Lisa’s Parent Footprint moment story at the end of the interview about her youngest son imitating her one day at home. This innocent playing led Lisa to an epiphany because she heard herself sounding like a teacher (which she was at the time) and not a parent. This life lesson shows us we sometimes don’t know how we sound to others – especially our children. More on Lisa Van Gemert: Lisa uses a combination of neuropsychology, pedagogy, experience, humor, technology, and sheer fun to share best practices in education with audiences around the world. She is an expert consultant to television shows including Lifetime’s "Child Genius," and a writer of award-winning lesson plans, as well numerous published articles on social psychology and pedagogy. A former teacher, school administrator, and Youth & Education Ambassador for Mensa, she shares resources for educators and parents on her website giftedguru.com and is co-founder of the Gifted Guild, a professional community for educators of the gifted. Lisa and her husband Steve are the parents of three sons and live in Arlington, Texas. Watch this free video to learn more about Dr. Dan and Parent Footprint Awareness Training®. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices