Philokalia Ministries

With great joy we began our study of the Evergetinos after years of waiting and preparation. This collection of the writings and the lives of the desert monks has been a rich source of spiritual nourishment for Eastern Christians for centuries - and is meant for all who pursue the life of Orthodoxy - who pursue “right glory”.  Providentially, we live in a time when this work has become available to us in English and so accessible as never before. In an age that knows very few spiritual elders it offers great comfort to be able to sit at the feet of those who were icons and remain icons of Christ and the life of the gospel in its fullness. We began with Hypothesis number 1.  Our study begins with Repentance, as does the spiritual life. We are presented with the image of a young man who had lived a dissolute life. When he comes to recognize the horror of it in the light of truth, his heart is filled with compunction and he groans from his depths. He leaves the world and begins to live in the tombs where he can embrace the life of repentance unceasingly. As he embraces this movement of grace within him, he is immediately attacked by demons who seek to dissuade him from taking this path. When unable to do so, they physically assault him and encourage his family members to come and to try to take him home. He will not be moved and so the demons eventually acknowledge that they have been conquered and that his repentance and heart are true. We are told that he remains in the tomb and makes it his hermitage for the rest of his life. Repentance is an unending reality for us and the greater our sin the greater our desire for it and protection of it must become. As we enter into the holy season of Lent we are called to imitate this young man by being single-hearted in our purpose. Lent is not simply for 40 days but rather the beginning of greater conversion and abandoning our life to Christ. ---- Text of chat during the group: 00:16:41 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: LOL 00:40:30 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: John 17:24     24 Father, I desire that they also, whom thou hast given me, may be with me where I am, to behold my glory which thou hast given me in thy love for me before the foundation of the world. In biblical Greek the meaning of the word "doxa" was "glory".  Only quite a few centuries later did the word acquire additional meaning of "doctrine/faith" or "worship". That meaning did not exist when the holy apostle and evangelist John wrote his Gospel. 00:41:43 Eric Williams: Someone created a filter for Facebook, so you can virtually put an ash cross on your profile picture’s forehead. #AshTag2021 *sigh* 00:41:48 Ren Witter: I’m actually anticipating that the lines will be a lot shorter since the ashes will not be visible. 00:42:14 Ren Witter: Why do something if you can’t post about it? ;-) 00:42:19 Joseph Muir: #ashwednesdayselfie🙄    a trend amongst many in the western church that I would love to see fizzle out and die 00:46:05 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: The wages of repentance are mercy and forgiveness unto everlasting life and so Byzantines (on the Gregorian calendar) "distributed" forgiveness upon one another, on the eve of beginning the Great Fast of Lent (yesterday evening). 00:54:20 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: Jesus: "In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (Jn. 16:33). Holy chief apostle Paul: to the Romans:  "we rejoice in our  sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured  into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us"  (Rom. 5: 3-5). Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of  witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb. 12:1-2) 00:55:03 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: "This is the great work of a man: always to take the blame for his own sins before God and to expect temptation to his last breath." … "Whoever has not experienced temptation cannot enter into the Kingdom of heaven," adding the words often quoted in the Christian spiritual tradition, "without temptations no one can be saved.“  (St. Antony the Great in a letter to St. Peomen) 00:55:13 Lilly: Matthew 16:24-26 00:55:29 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: As often as you find your way to be peaceful, without variations, be suspicious. For you are deviating from the divine ways trodden by the weary footsteps of the saints.  The more you proceed on the way towards the city of the kingdom and approach its neighborhood, this will be the sign: you will meet hard temptations. And the nearer you approach, the more difficulties you will find. The hard temptations into which God brings the soul are in accordance with the greatness of His gifts. If there is a weak soul which is not able to bear a very hard temptation and God deals meekly with it, then know that it is not capable of bearing a hard temptation and so is not worthy either of a great gift.   (St. Isaac the Syrian) 00:56:58 Lilly: Amen 00:59:10 Ren Witter: My favorite response to the demon’s questions comes from Saint Ephraim: “Do not lose heart, O soul, do not grieve; pronounce not over thyself a final judgement for the multitude of thy sins; do not commit thyself to fire; do not say: the Lord has cast me from His face.  Such words are not pleasing to God. Can it be that he who has fallen cannot get up? Can it be that he who has turned away cannot turn back again? Dost thou not hear how kind the Father is to a prodigal?  Do not be ashamed to turn back and say boldly: I will arise and go to my Father. Arise and go!. . . 00:59:19 Ren Witter: . . .  He will accept thee and will not reproach thee, but rather rejoice at thy return. He awaits thee; just do not be ashamed and do not hide from the face of God as did Adam.  It was for thy sake that Christ was crucified; so will He cast thee aside? He knows who oppresses us. He knows that we have no other help but Him alone.  Christ knows that man is miserable. Do not give thyself up to despair and apathy, assuming that thou hast been prepared fro the fire. Christ derives no consolation from thrusting us into the fire; He gains nothing if He sends us into the abyss to be tormented.  Imitate the prodigal son: heave the city that starves thee. Come and beseech Him and thou shalt behold the glory of God. Thy face shall be enlightened and thou wilt rejoice in the sweetness of paradise. Glory to the Lord and Lover of mankind Who saves us! “ 01:06:24 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: sorry, I forgot to finish the St Isaac quote.  here is the rest....      “God never gives a large gift and small temptations. So temptations are to be classed in accordance with gifts.  Thus from the hardships you are called to endure you may understand the measure of the greatness which your soul has reached. And your comfort will be in proportion to your endurance. .” “In accordance with your humility you will be given endurance in your distress. And in accordance with your endurance its weight will be lifted from your soul and you will be comforted in your troubles. And in accordance with your comfort, your love of God will increase. And in accordance with your love, your spiritual joy will increase.”  “When our compassionate Father is of the will to relieve those who are real children in their temptations, He does  not take their temptations away from them, but He imparts to them endurance under temptations, and all that good which they receive through it, to the perfection of their souls. 01:06:28 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: May Christ in His grace make us worthy of bearing evils for the sake of His love, with thanksgivings in the heart. Amen.” 01:15:50 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: Recently Ukrainian biblical scholar Taras Tymo has been posting videos on youtube explaining the psalms.  in his commentary on Ps. 50 he reminds his viewers that In Ps 50, "blot out" is the same Greek word as the one used for cleaning old text off of lambskin to make it ready for new text to be written on it, a somewhat brutal process; and, "wash me" means to clean by beating with or against stones.  So repentance is not "ouchless". 01:18:28 Andres Mason: I thought more of a "never left the state of repentance" 01:18:43 Lilly: Does the tomb represent the Sacrament of Confession? 01:20:21 Andres Mason: eventually he will come out of the tomb our resurrection is just delayed  01:21:48 Ren Witter: It actually reminds me of Saint Isaac: “In this life there is no Sabbath.” No rest from repentance. 01:22:28 Andres Mason: The tomb is not negative  01:22:34 Andres Mason: anymore* 01:26:28 Lilly: Gracias hermanos 01:27:30 Micah Valine: Thank you 01:27:55 carolnypaver: Thank you, Father! 01:28:14 Joseph Muir: shookran, Abouna!

Tonight we concluded letter 41 where St. Theophan is discussing with Anastasia the practice of confession. First and foremost she must let go of all childish fear and anxiety and remember that it is God himself who provides the grace of repentance and like the father in the story of the prodigal son, God draws close to her with arms outstretched in order to embrace her. The more her conscience is sensitized and the more frequently she practices Confession the anguish of heart that she will experience will be transformed into compunction - a mourning over love lost and the desire to see it restored.  She will become more cognizant of the ways that she is incorrigible and so will begin to struggle more fully with the sins that often remain hidden. The most important thing that he would have her remember is that she establish a true intention and the decide to be diligent about everything before God. She must not complicate things but rather allow her approach to God be simple and humble. It is best to confess the evening before communion in order that the next morning should be filled only with the thought of receiving her Lord. And when she prepares herself to receive that day she should come with a simple desire that the Lord provide her through the his grace with the strength that she needs for every kind of good so that her life will be acceptable to him. That is all!   --- Text of the chat during the group: 00:30:16 Anthony Joyce: similarly we’d never tell our spouses to only say sorry for non-venial sins against us 00:42:17 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: One must remember that the distinction (philosophically speaking) between venial and mortal sins belongs to western spirituality which is not used in the Christian East.  The East is more sensitive to Semitic ways of thinking about sin as "missing the mark" in the way that a marksman would miss the bull's eye of a target.  This is what St Paul means when he says in Romans that all have sinned.  From this flow the idea that our Lord is the New Adam or the perfect Adam because he does not miss the mark of what it means to be human.  Discussions about mortal and venial are superfluous here since it makes no difference whether you miss the mark by a few inches or by many feet.  When we speak of venial and mortal we are talking in the realm of relationship, rather than being human. Here of course one can sin in such a way that the relationship may be disturbed but not destroyed.  to use the spousal example, sometimes "I'm sorry" is enough but other times a card, a box of chocolates, etc. 00:44:11 Sheila Applegate: Great point. I like this way of thinking about sin better. 00:45:46 Eric Williams: I’ve been wondering about this ever since becoming Byzantine. How does the East distinguish sins that *must* be confessed before receiving the Eucharist from those that are not necessary but still helpful to confess? 00:45:49 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: I simply point this out because St Theophan's advice is steeped in Eastern Christian spirituality, so that is how he needs to be read. 00:46:36 carolnypaver: Thank you so much, Fr. Ivan. 00:47:46 Sheila Applegate: Of course. In this context. But it still brings out the point you said of, what does it matter if you miss the mark by an inch or a mile. Interesting. 00:48:13 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: The way you phrase the question is western since it is asking for a system.  In the East, all sins are confessed as soon as they are unmasked... Ephesians 5:8-14 00:50:30 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: so you confess everything even if it mean repeating from the last confession; see also Ephesians 4:13-17 00:52:52 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: in the East, we prefer to confess attitudes and directions of the soul (feelings-willings, thoughts, desires) which underly any particular breakings of the laws.... 01:27:33 Sharon: Thank you, Fr. David

Tonight we picked up with Letter 40 - considering again the various causes of spiritual cooling. Theophan begins by discussing a rather chilling thought - the willful falling away from the divine will, in full consciousness and in defiance. We can be overcome by anger, frustration and disappointment in our life to such a degree that we begin to turn away from God; perhaps subtly at first but then in greater measure. If we are not careful we can fall under complete darkness. Therefore, Theophan tells her to avoid this at all cost. She must fear it like fire, like death. He instructs her instead to hold on to her zeal and keep fast to her rule of prayer. She may need to alter it given the circumstances, such as illness. But she is never to let go of her routine even if she receives no consolation. In letter 41, Theophan begins to discuss with her some final considerations before she goes to confession. He begins by dealing with the most familiar of problems - fear. It is this that she must let go of and trusts above all in the mercy in the gentleness of God who waits for her with open arms. The priest is but the witness and the vehicle for healing and forgiveness. Thus, Theophan tells Anastasia to confess more frequently. With this anxiety will diminish. To aid in this process she should write down every one of her sins in order that she is truly confessing what is in her heart and on her conscience. “Don’t make the priest ask you”, he tells her. He wants her confession to be as genuine as possible - a reflection of what’s going on within her and not prompted by the questions of the priest. Over time she will come to see the deep and grand beauty of the sacrament.   ---  Text of chat during the group: 00:22:28 Mark Cummings: Not related but Divine Office 2nd reading today is awesome...from On Spiritual Perfection by Diadochus 00:39:55 Mark Cummings: From today's 2nd reading in office of readings...Therefore, we must maintain great stillness of mind, even in the midst of our struggles. We shall then be able to distinguish between the different types of thoughts that come to us: those that are good, those sent by God, we will treasure in memory; those that are evil and inspired by the devil we will reject... 00:45:05 Eric Ash: I also see a greater emphasis in the east on having a spiritual director. It doesn't just fall on an individual's discernment to decide if they are altering their prayer routine to benefit or delude themselves. They take it to their spiritual father that knows their strengths/weaknesses/problems/potential. 00:49:27 Eric Williams: I think St. Philip Neri and others like him in the West would wish that we all would make such faithful, consistent, and humble use of a spiritual director and regular confessor. 01:07:14 Ren Witter: I find that if I do not write things down I am so anxious about remembering everything that I am not really present. Writing it down also allows for much more extensive reflection. 01:16:39 Eric Williams: Who’s on first?! 01:17:19 Eric Williams: Talk about being slain in the Spirit! 01:31:03 carolnypaver: At certain times (Jubilee Year) there is a plenary indulgence attached to making a general confession. 01:34:13 Eric Williams: Perhaps scrupulosity was more common when Jansenism was a serious problem. 01:36:29 Eric Williams: Sometimes priests imply or suggest scrupulosity by giving overly simplistic penances. 01:41:40 Mark Cummings: Thank you!

We continued reading Letter 40 on the various causes of spiritual cooling. St. Theophan tells Anastasia that above all she must have an anguished prostration before God acknowledging her weakness of will and her lack of zeal. In fact, she must make this persistent and it will help her walk the straight path in the spiritual life. She should strive never to let her desire for God weaken. Theophan tells her that she must never even let that become an option for her. Rather, Anastasia must hold on to her diligence in the spiritual life and she must come to see prayer as the beating of the heart and breathing keep a person alive. Lacking prayer, the spiritual life ceases to exist. The spirit either dies or it comes to a standstill.  This, she must maintain and kind in every possible way - willingness, zeal and diligence. This is the foundation of the spiritual life and it protects it and is its bulwark. The cooling of the spirit is the most bitter of things!   ---- Text of chat during the group: 00:48:04 Lisa Weidner: Sister Theres Aletheia Noble 00:48:44 Lisa Weidner: speaks of the precise of remembering one’s death- Momento Mori - her web site is https://pursuedbytruth.com/ 01:22:13 Eric Williams: AWESOME book!

We picked up this evening in our final session of St. Isaac with the last part of homily 76. Isaac makes it very clear that those who are given over fully to God in prayer and solitude begin to live in the perfect love of God and thus also fulfill the commandment to love one’s neighbor. In God, nothing is lacking. Yet, this is a rarity. Few and far between our called to this way of life and only when it is lived fully and withholding nothing of the self is love complete.  In so far as one cultivates solitude and stillness and yet engages with other men and receives their aid - so too is he obligated to tend to the sick and lift up and serve his fallen brothers. One must avoid the illusion of perfect stillness as an escape from one’s obligation to care for one’s neighbor. In the last of St. Isaacs’s homilies, Homily 77, he presents us with the perfect and most important of virtues – humility. All the other virtues must be perfected in order that a person is capable of receiving this gift of God‘s grace. It is to clothe oneself with the very raiment of God. God revealed Himself to us in His Son – emptying Himself, taking upon our flesh and embracing the form of a servant, becoming obedient even unto death. Isaac tells us that we cannot look upon the spiritual life as if we are progressing up a ladder by her own power to achieve some natural goal constructed by her own minds or spiritual sensibilities. One is clothes in humility by God the more the self is set aside. We are to put on the mind of Christ and imitate his humility.

We continued our reading of Letter 39. St. Theophan wants to prepare his beloved Anastasia for the spiritual battle that lies ahead. He begins by telling her that the adversary never sleeps. This thought alone could be the object of our meditation endlessly. The evil one is relentless in his desire to disrupt our relationship with God. Anastasia must not fear this reality but forever hold it in mind and let it help her understand that she must relentlessly call to God and rely upon his grace and his help. The devil will either withdraw and allow for the illusion of spiritual strength to grow and then attack the person all at once to pull them down. Or he will afflict them right from the beginning so as to discourage them. Attack after attack will come until the individual gives up. Thus, she must be steadfast; and as Theophan has told her she must be courageous and a plucky fighter. She must fight as one who has placed all of her hope in God. In Letter 40, St. Theophan continues along this line of thought. He begins to discuss with Anastasia the various causes of spiritual cooling. Anastasia fears her own lack of diligence. Wisely, Theophan tells her not to let go of that fear but let it kindle within her a greater enthusiasm to drive her forward in the face of her own weaknesses. Eventually hope for salvation will emerge as one comes to experience the depth of God‘s grace and his constant help. Until then, she must cry out to God with an anguished heart; and anxiety that flows more from the urgent longings of the heart for love than it does from fear of punishment. She must strive to enter by the narrow door and so unite her prayers to the Spirit that calls out to God from the very depths of her being. ---- Text of chat during the group: 00:48:29 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: Oh, I can relate to that..... 00:53:59 Eric Williams: I love that bit. Instead of being annoyed and disappointed that their fellow close disciples are pridefully seeking honors in Christ’s royal court, they get jealous! They make the problem worse! 00:59:18 Anthony Joyce: Vicki beckons..thank you, good sir, for your time for us. Til next time! 01:01:08 Eric Williams: Psalm 39 (38) seems relevant here. 01:20:35 Eric Williams: “Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.” 01:26:57 Ren Witter: Or that weird “Man makes plan and God laughs” one. Does not, as you said, reflect the real, deep love of God. 01:32:55 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: Before we end today, a little taste of Byzantine-Ukrainian spirituality:  To the servant of God, Father David, with the upcoming 27th anniversary of his presbyteral ordination on January 15, grant, O Lord, a blessed and peaceful life, health, salvation, success in every endeavor, and preserve him and his loved ones, for many happy and blessed years!  God grant you many years! Many happy years! God grant you many years!  Many happy years!  May you be blessed with health and salvation!  God grant you many happy years!

*Please note that there were some technical difficulties which caused the audio to drop a few times between the 40-45min mark.  We began this evening with Letter 38. St. Theophan shows Anastasia where she should take up for her Lenten disciplines. It may be surprising for some of us when we hear it. He tells her that she should begin with the renewal of her baptismal vows; vows that were made on her behalf when she was a child. At the very beginning of Lent she must in a clear and decisive fashion commit herself to Christ and her renunciation of everything that is contrary to His will. How different this is from our day when we typically renew our baptismal vows at Easter.  St. Theophan would have her see them as the lens through which she views all of her disciplines and takes them up. They mean nothing if they do not lead to Christ and they must be shaped and embraced with the fulfillment of these vows in mind. In Letter 39, St. Theophan becomes more specific: he begins to tell her about the battle that lies ahead. She must be ready and prepared to engage in the fiercest kind of struggle with the most hostile opponent. The evil one will do everything he can to destroy her hope in the Lord or to distort her vision of the discipline she now embraces. Therefore, she must be humble in the battle and remain constant even in the midst of affliction. She must have strong courage and remain steadfast even when she seems to fail repeatedly. Such failure, in fact, will always be present; but it will not be absent the providence of God. Everything is from him and he shapes all things in secret. Anastasia’s prayer must simply be: “Save me by the way Thou knowest” And in the end, through these words she must give herself over entirely and irrevocably to God. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:42:05 Mary McLeod: I read somewhere that fasting without prayer is just dieting :) 01:00:49 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: From the Third Hour:  Prayer of Saint Mardarios O God and Master, Father almighty, Lord, only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit, one Godhead, and one power, have mercy on me a sinner; and by the judgements which You know, save me Your unworthy servant; for You are blessed for ever and ever. Amen. 01:01:53 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: General Prayer of the Hours:  In every season and at every hour, in heaven and on earth You are worshipped and glorified, O good God, longsuffering, rich in mercy, loving the just and compassionate to sinners, calling all to salvation by the promise of the blessings to come; now at this very hour, Lord, accept our prayers, and direct our lives in the ways of Your commandments. Sanctify our souls, purify our bodies, correct our thoughts, and make our knowledge whole and sober. Deliver us from every distress, evil, and pain. Surround us with Your holy angels as with a rampart so that protected and guided by their host we may reach the unity of the faith and the knowledge of Your unapproachable glory; for You are blessed for ever and ever. Amen. 01:15:27 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: the Russian or old church Slavonic govenie, with its Ukrainian counterpart, hoveennia, when it is used in the Divine Liturgy of St John Chrysostom petition when we pray for everyone who enters the temple in order to pray in the spirit of “blahohoviynist’”, means more than just reverence or respect, for it is the kind of attitude that creates worship which is “full of the most sincere homage, respect and devotion as an expression of his own underlying measureless surrender to God”.  This aspect of surrender is also the ability to perceive everything as coming from God, and not just perceiving it in any old way but with gratitude.  This is why as he was dying almost literally on the road on the way to his place of exile, St John Chrysostom's last words were "Glory to God for all things!" 01:16:35 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: https://janotec.typepad.com/terrace/2007/10/the-last-words-.html John remembered all these things, and he knew that his time was ending. He was not afraid. Even as a young monk he was never afraid of the night, because for him it was never dark. In one of his many sermons on the Psalms, he said that “… it is during the night that all the plants respire, and it is then also that the soul of man is more penetrated with the dews falling from Heaven … night heals the wounds of our soul and calms our griefs.” He was exhausted, and his body was broken by exposure to the wind and rain, the rocks and thorns, strong enemies and a weak body. But he wasn’t brokenhearted, and he was not bitter. He was not depressed or hopeless. He remembered all these things: his enemies, his disappointments and defeats, his last long journey into the wild lands, and the beatings and lashings of his two imperial guards. He forgave them, every one, for each and every hurt and trespass. In this world, you can forgive, but you 01:16:53 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: He forgave them, every one, for each and every hurt and trespass. In this world, you can forgive, but you don't forget. But every time you remember is one more instance in the infinite count of seventy times seven. John remembered and forgave them all, just as his own Lord forgave his every sin on the Cross. His body was fading, but he was still on fire for the Lord. His soul was even brighter with the flame of Divine Love, and the glory of God’s grace. On fire and not in darkness, in strength and not weakness, and in the greatest sermon of his lifetime, St. John Chrysostom the Golden-Mouthed, whispered out his last words: “Glory to God for all things!” Only a man who had given his heart solely to the Lord Jesus, who had sacrificed his everything to the Holy Trinity, who had soared to the heights of the Church and earthly power, who had it all taken away and spent his last years on dusty, forgotten roads … only such a man could say such things, giving God all the glory, Who gave this last sermon such 01:17:00 Fr. John (Ivan) Chirovsky: golden eternal wings." 01:18:30 Sheila Applegate: That is really beautiful. Thanks. I love his words on the night.      

Tonight we began Homily 76 which focuses on the virtue of mercy and compassion. Isaac addresses the question of how one who lives in seclusion and stillness can fulfill the command of the gospel to love one’s neighbor. Isaac beautifully describes for us that only the rarest of individuals is called to a life that is completely wrapped in God and in prayer.  And in so far is this is true, they embrace all of creation as God Himself due to the radical communion that they share with Him. Beyond this, their life of radical seclusion from men may prevent them from actively showing mercy and compassion. The mercy and compassion is all embracing but one cannot tangibly reach out to others because of the life they’ve been called to by God. However, those who live among others, no matter how few, must respond with mercy in the face of tangible needs. One must “leave God for God” as it were. When a neighbor is sick or starving one must attend to their needs without counting the costs. One’s religious life cannot become a form of resistance that blinds a person to the needs of others. We cannot use our religious practices as a bubble to shield us from others or any contact with them. To aid us in our understanding Isaac gives us a number of examples of those holy souls who despite the rigors of their solitude went the extra mile in attending the needs of others.

We picked up this evening with letter 37.  St. Theophan begins by reminding Anastasia that she does not want to belong to the category of one who is neither hot nor cold but lukewarm; having no real desire to please God and no desire for salvation. He doesn’t know if she falls into that category but it is possible that she is simply following along with everyone else in the group; doing what they do. However, she is called to something far greater; She is to do all things in good conscience and it (conscience) is to become for her a kind of new garment. If she seeks to please God and to do his will in all things she will begin to experience something of the peace of the kingdom. Before this happens, however, Anastasia must see and feel the depravity of life outside of God. She must acknowledge the many ways that she has lived her life vainly, letting time simply pass by. Out of this alone will emerge a contrite heart that fosters a deep repentance and desire for the life of God. “Do not let your life pass in vain,” he tells her. “Embrace this path now!”  St. Theophan begins letter 38 by calling Anastasia to consciously renew the vows that were made at her baptism.  She simply needs to begin gradually and to do what she is able to do, trusting in the grace and love of God. She must do this, however, with a firm resolve and a belief in the depths of God‘s love. If she does this, all will be well.

Tonight we came to the conclusion of homily 75. Saint Isaac continued to explain to us the blessings of Night Vigils. They give light to the thinking; having purified the mind and the heart through limiting sleep, one begins to discern the things of the kingdom through prolonged prayer and watchfulness. The Light shines upon the mind and one begins to perceive that which is Divine.  To help us understand this Isaac gives us a number of examples of those who are exemplars of holiness and lifetime practitioners of night vigils. In them we see not only the discipline that is needed but also the fruit of the practice; unyielding fortitude to produces transfiguration of the body. The Fathers came to acknowledge this as a sweet labor. However, Isaac does not want us to have any illusions about the practice or its difficulties. One must ask oneself honestly if there is a desire not only to practice Vigils, but to foster constant stillness and a willingness to endure the afflictions that these practices bring. Are we willing to make the necessary sacrifices to live a holy and undistracted life? Without this desire, the attempt to practice Vigils would be foolhardy. St. Isaac closes with a comforting word as one who understands the weakness and the fragility of human nature. We may struggle throughout our whole life to engage in the practice of stillness. But we will undoubtedly experience losses and gains, victories and defeats.  In all of this we must never lose patience and, most importantly, we must not lose our joy in the Lord and our trust in His grace.