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The Exclusive Career Coach

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May 11, 2022 • 15min

226: How to Prepare for a Difficult Work Conversation

Here’s the bad news: You can’t change anyone but yourself. Here’s the best news ever: You can’t change anyone but yourself. I don’t know about you, but when I’m about to have a difficult conversation with someone, I tend to imagine all kinds of worst-case scenarios. As a result, I often avoided having those difficult conversations…which meant the situation and my feelings continued to fester. Today, we’re going to talk about how you can prepare yourself for these difficult conversations to maximize your chances for success.   A reminder that I offer a monthly job search Masterclass, held on the third Thursday of the month at 4:00 p.m. Eastern. The topic is different each month, and I jam-pack them full of content. To learn about the next webinar: https://mastercoachwebinars.carrd.com   Reality is often much easier than the story we’ve made up in our heads – all the more reason to not put the conversation off. When you are having a difficult conversation with someone, you are the only person in that equation that you have any control over. What you think, what you feel, what you say, and what you do. So how can you show up for this difficult conversation in a way that serves you?  Thoughts about ourselves Let’s start with the thoughts you have about yourself. For example, you might think: “I’m not a good enough manager to lead this person.” “I don’t know how to start this conversation.” “I don’t know how to help this person.” Here’s the brain science of what you are thinking: your brain scans the environment for evidence of what you’ve just thought about yourself. If you think you’re not a good enough manager, your brain will look for and present you with evidence that you, in fact, aren’t a good manager. Your challenge is to notice these thoughts and decide whether you want to continue to think them. Does that thought serve you? Here are some better-feeling thoughts you might choose instead: “I have been successful in having difficult conversations before.” “I’ll figure out a way to start the conversation.” “I’ll try my best to help this person.”  Now, your brain is scanning the environment for evidence that you will be able to start the conversation or help the person. Much better.  Thoughts about the other person.  This one is so insidious, because we often think the worst of the other person with no real evidence to back our beliefs up. We might think: “He isn’t even trying.” “She refuses to listen.” “He thinks he can get away with anything.” If we think these thoughts, we go into the difficult conversation ready for a fight – we are expecting the worst of the other person. Everything that person says or does is colored by our belief that they aren’t a hard worker, they don’t listen, or they think the rules don’t apply to them. Here are some better-feeling thoughts you could choose: “He’s really good at _____.” “I’ve seen excellent work from her in the past.” “He may not understand the reason for the rules we have.” Now you are able to go into that conversation expecting the other person to be open to feedback and wanting to do the best job possible.  Thoughts about the possible outcome.  The biggest hesitation I had about having difficult conversations with my employees is that I thought they would throw my problems back into my face. (I don’t know why I believed that; it had never once happened that way.) Maybe you are thinking that it won’t make a difference to talk to this person…or that they will just try to undermine your authority. You might think: “Nothing will ever change, no matter what I say.” “They will never admit to what they did.” “They will just put the blame on someone else.” Here are some better-feeling thoughts: “I’m taking a small step towards improving things.” “I will focus on solutions rather than placing blame.” “My ultimate goal with this conversation is _____.” Notice that the first set of thoughts were outward focused…remember, we can’t change anyone else, and it is incredibly disempowering to focus on what someone else is doing wrong. The second set of thoughts are focused inward…the only part of the equation we can change.  Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The CareerSpring document and coaching program will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.  If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:  https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2 
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May 4, 2022 • 10min

225: Solutions-Focused Questions to Ask Your Direct Reports

Today I wanted to give you some tools to help you with your direct reports. I utilized “Quiet Leadership” from David Rock for this episode.   A reminder that I offer a monthly job search Masterclass, held on the third Thursday of the month at 4:00 p.m. Eastern. The topic is different each month, and I jam-pack them full of content. To learn about the next webinar: https://mastercoachwebinars.carrd.com  The idea of solutions-focused questions is that you are focusing not on the problem, but on the solution to the problem. There is no upside to placing blame; rather, you want to help your employee understand how they can do better next time. Focusing on problems is focusing on the past – leading us to try to change what can’t be changed. Focusing on problems leads to blame, excuses, and justifications. Focusing on solutions creates energy in our minds. We address problems by analyzing the way forward, instead of their causes. Here are examples of questions: Why didn’t you hit your targets? VS.What do you need to do next time to hit your targets? Why did this happen? VS.Why do you want to achieve here? Where did it all start to go wrong? VS.What do you need to do to move this forward? Why do you think you’re not good at this? VS.How can you develop strength in this area? What’s wrong with your team? VS.What does your team need to do to win? Why did you do that? VS.What do you want to do next? Who is responsible for this? VS.Who can achieve this? Why isn’t this working? VS.What do we need to do to make this work?  Notice how often I used the word “why” in the problem-focused questions – removing this work from our conversations with employees can be a great first step to focusing on solutions. Here’s a quote from The Solutions Focus: “It is often easier to start something new than to stop something. Anything that is a habit is by definition difficult to stop. And, if change is encouraged by positive reinforcement, it is much easier to be aware of when you are taking the reinforceable action than to know when you are not doing whatever it is that you want to give up.” In a nutshell: Problems fade into the background as solutions develop. According to Quiet Leadership: “If you’re worried that this sounds too easy, consider that being solutions-focused means taking responsibility for outcomes and taking action. It doesn’t mean being lazy with the facts; in fact, it requires significant discipline and focus.” Here’s your assignment: When you go into a conversation with someone, notice the number of times you choose to focus on problems versus the number of times you choose to focus on solutions, and keep a tally of your ratio. Do this for a week, and see if, simply by awareness, your ratio begins to change towards a solutions focus.  Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The CareerSpring document and coaching program will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.  If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:  https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2 
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Apr 27, 2022 • 17min

224: How to Leverage Coaching Competencies if You Aren't a Certified Coach

The reason I’m doing this episode today is because of the horror stories I have heard about bosses who are supposed to be “coaching” their employees but are doing something else entirely. As a Certified Executive and Leadership Development Coach (CELDC), I wanted to talk about a few of the coaching competencies as laid out by the International Coaching Federation or ICF. ICF is considered the premier coaching credential organization in the world. Many people in leadership positions have gotten a coaching certification, but it may not be appropriate for everyone. So here’s a crash course on eight coaching competencies you can put to use today without a coaching certification.   A reminder that I offer a monthly job search Masterclass, held on the third Thursday of the month at 4:00 p.m. Eastern. The topic is different each month, and I jam-pack them full of content. To learn about the next webinar: https://mastercoachwebinars.carrd.com  1.    Cultivates Trust and Safety.  The first competency I want to talk about is cultivating trust and safety. As a manager of people, you want to create safe and supportive environments that will facilitate your employees’ opening up and sharing freely. There needs to be mutual respect and trust to develop this trust.    2.    Maintains Presence.  It is so important to be present with your employees at all times – and especially when you are coaching them.  Minimize or eliminate the potential for disruption, and make sure you can eliminate mental distractions before you coach an employee.  Here are some of the tools for maintaining presence in the coaching relationship:  -Be flexible with your agenda (but do have an agenda) -Trust your intuition -Be open to not knowing and taking risks -Use humor to lighten the mood when necessary -Avoid being overwhelmed by your employees’ emotions   3.    Listens Actively.  You want to hear what your employee is saying and not saying to fully understand what is going on with your employee. A great coach will do far less talking and far more listening.    4.    Powerful Questioning to Evoke Awareness.  This is where many “coaches” go wrong – they tell their employee what to do and how to do it, rather than creating an environment where the employee accesses her own wisdom and knowledge. Powerful questions are ones that encourage your employee to investigate new insights about themselves. These questions also focus on the future rather than the past.  Tools you can use to evoke awareness include silence (allowing for quiet as the employee processes their thoughts or questions) and metaphor or analogy (utilizing different ways of communicating concepts).    5.    Facilitates Growth. The purpose of coaching should be to promote your employees’ autonomy and ability to transform their book knowledge, experience, and insights into actions.    6.    Goal-Setting It is important to enter into a coaching relationship with specific goals, which should be revisited and revised periodically throughout coaching. The goals set should: -Be SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-specific) -Address the employee’s specific concerns and desired areas for learning and development   7.    Designing Actions.  The employee should drive the actions she takes as a result of the coaching. While you can suggest actions, the employee has to buy in.  The employee’s actions should: -Enable the employee to demonstrate, practice, and deepen new learning; -Help the employee to further explore concerns and goals that they outlined themselves; -Encourage the employee to further explore ideas, solutions, and actions that will lead them towards their goals;  -Promote active experimentation and self-discovery;  -Allow the employee to apply what has been discussed and learned during coaching sessions; -Encourage the employee to challenge the existing beliefs and assumptions about the world around them;   -Help the employee to notice and celebrate successes and capabilities for future growth; -Encourage the employee to stretch and challenge themselves, albeit at a comfortable pace.  In a nutshell:  There should be visible, positive change and growth as a result of the coaching experience.   8.    Managing progress and accountability As the coach, you want to encourage your employees to define their own methods of holding themselves accountable, with you playing a supporting role in this accountability. You should never chastise the employee for not staying accountable, but rather approach them directly from a place of support and concern.  To hold an employee accountable: -Clarify the agreed-upon actions with the employee -Ask the employee about their progress with the actions they committed to during previous sessions -Acknowledge the employee’s progress – or lack of progress – since the previous coaching sessions -Keep the employee on track with the coaching plan, intended outcomes, agreed-upon courses of action, and topics for future sessions -Remain open to adjusting the coaching plan based on shifts in direction during coaching sessions -Allow the employee to develop their own ability to make decisions, address key concerns, and improve themselves – while lending a helping hand if needed -Positively confront the employee if he does not take agreed-upon actions  Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The CareerSpring document and coaching program will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.  If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:  https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2 
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Apr 20, 2022 • 18min

223: Leadership 101: What You MUST Know to Be a Successful Leader

A LOT is written about how to be a great leader. In today’s podcast, I wanted to distill this information down to the top 10 things you MUST know to be a successful leader. A reminder that I offer a monthly job search Masterclass, held on the third Thursday of the month at 4:00 p.m. Eastern. The topic is different each month, and I jam-pack them full of content. To learn about the next webinar: https://mastercoachwebinars.carrd.com  For this episode, I used an article on businessnewsdaily.com.  1.    Engage in open, honest communication.  Great leaders are able to customize their interactions and communication styles based on the situation and each team member. They take the time to figure out which communication mode is preferred by each team member, and they are great listeners who are authentically interested in their team members.  The key word here is Authenticity. It is important to be genuine and real above all else.   2.    Connect with your team members.  Building a real, personal connection with your teammates is vital to developing the shared trust necessary to build a strong culture of accountability and exceptional performance. To build a connection with each of your team members, focus on getting to know their personality, interests, strengths, weaknesses, hobbies, and preferences. This can give you insight into their goals and motivations.  3.    Encourage personal and professional growth.  Acting as your team's cheerleader is an important part of being an effective leader. You should be invested in their success and growth.A great leader invests financially and emotionally in his employees’ growth. In addition to providing funds for professional development, great leaders empower their employees by giving them challenging opportunities and guidance.  4.   Keep a positive attitude. The way you handle situations – big and small – says a lot about your leadership skills. Robert Mann, author of The Measure of a Leader (iUniverse, 2013), recommended focusing on the good in any set of circumstances. "Look at three positive things about a problem before you identify what makes it dissatisfying. The more you look at the positives in a problem, the more positively people react with one another." If you or a team member notices a particular course of action you've taken that just isn't working, figure out some things you've done in the past that have worked.  5.    Teach employees instead of giving orders.An effective leader knows how to show others what is required, rather than simply telling them. If you are trying to control people to do certain things in certain ways, you're not going to get the level of engagement that you're looking for. Help the people you lead recognize the choices they have in front of them. People will then take a great deal of ownership over the direction of the project.Leaders should be teaching so they can grow new leaders to take their place. 6.    Set clear goals and expectations. When setting goals and objectives for your team members, encourage questions and feedback. Including them in the process can increase engagement.For a leader to motivate and inspire, she needs to keep her team in the know about her vision," he said. This helps employees understand the result they're working towards as a unit. Don't let team member goals go static. Periodically revisit goals to modify or rearrange them as needed. This will let your team members know that you are present and aware of what they are working on.  7.    Give direct feedback about performance.  If you're not direct, people won't know what you truly think about their work, and they will never be able to improve. If you don't know the precise direction your company is headed, no matter how much you've communicated to your employees and leadership team regarding their individual performance, they will struggle when making decisions and taking action. In addition to providing constructive feedback and performance reviews, highlight employee accomplishments. If a team member does something great, let them know. Celebrate their wins and thank them for their hard work.Acknowledging successes by outlining how it impacts the business, rather than with vague pats on the back, is not only encouraging but also helps a person work better in the long run.  8.    Ask for feedback on your leadership. In addition to feedback from your direct reports, mentors and colleagues can help you evaluate your effectiveness. Leadership coaching can also help you discover your areas for improvement and assist you in developing a plan to achieve your leadership goals.   9.    Be open to new ideas. Good leaders have the emotional intelligence to understand and accept that change is inevitable. Instead of trying to maintain a status quo just for the sake of consistency, embrace change and innovation. Be open to new ideas and alternative ways of thinking. Everyone brings a unique perspective to the table, and that is something to take advantage of, not discourage.When solving a problem, encourage team members to provide their insights. When employees feel like they can openly bring new ideas to the table, true innovation, engagement, and success can prevail.  10.Understand your own motivation. If you view your leadership role as "just a job," it's going to show. To be an effective leader, you need the right motivation. Is it the money or the prestige you care about, or do you sincerely want to inspire people to do their best?In addition to what motivates you, it is important to know what decreases your energy. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses can help you diversify your team and get a well-rounded portfolio of skills. It helps you not hire carbon copies of yourself and surround yourself with others who are not like you.Your leadership style plays a role in how you interact with employees and should be evaluated as well. The best leaders can adapt each style to their situations and employees. Remember that being a good leader takes time. Although some individuals are naturally inclined to have good leadership skills, it is something anyone can learn and improve upon. With hard work, dedication, and strategic planning, you can lead your team to success.  Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The CareerSpring document and coaching program will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.  If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:  https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2 
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Apr 13, 2022 • 40min

222: How to Deal with Unsupportive Family & Friends During Your Job Search (with Jane Springer)

Today, I am speaking with returning guest Jane Springer on how to deal with family and friends who may not encourage you during your job search…who may actively discourage you, in fact.  A reminder that I offer a monthly job search Masterclass, held on the third Thursday of the month at 4:00 p.m. Eastern. The topic is different each month, and I jam-pack them full of content. To learn about the next webinar: https://mastercoachwebinars.carrd.com  In this episode, we cover family and friends’ reactions to your thoughts about changing jobs and/or careers, what the people in your life may say about your job search, and what to do when people seemingly resent your new job.  Jane Springer is a health and wellness coach, specializing in helping women in mid-life navigate the challenges they face – divorce, dating, remarriage, weight gain, health issues, and self-image. You can find her at: jane@janespringer.com https://janespringer.com https://www.facebook.com/janespringercoach/?fref=ts https://www.instagram.com/springer_jane/  To access the gift Jane mentions in the podcast, click here: 7 Faith-Filled Steps to Reaching Your Ideal Weight   Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The CareerSpring document and coaching program will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.  If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:  https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2 
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Apr 6, 2022 • 23min

221: How to Get Noticed & Promoted While Working Remotely

Today, we’re talking about the unique challenges so many of you are facing as a direct result of the pandemic. Some of you continue to work from home, while others have returned 100% to the office. Still others have devised a hybrid model that combines the two. Specifically, I want to address the challenges of getting acknowledged for your contributions when you aren’t in the office every day – and how to set yourself up for promotions and new opportunities as a remote worker.  A reminder that I offer a monthly job search Masterclass, held on the third Thursday of the month at 4:00 p.m. Eastern. The topic is different each month, and I jam-pack them full of content. To learn about the next webinar: https://mastercoachwebinars.carrd.com  I have 10 recommendations for getting noticed and setting yourself up for promotions when you work from home. Here we go:   1.    Boost internal communication  This goes beyond the myriad of virtual meetings that most work-from-home employees are burdened with. Rather, this speaks to discussing your work progress and challenges, informing those who need to know of your progress, and making your contributions known in a professional manner.  This can also include in-person or virtual social gatherings. Can you go to lunch with a colleague? Meet a few after work for drinks? Schedule a virtual happy hour?   2.    Volunteer Just as you would volunteer – in some cases, literally raise your hand – for a project or initiative that interests you, you should do the same thing when working virtually. Don’t wait to be asked – or for the plum assignments to go to colleagues who are in-office.  In most organizations, there are also opportunities to volunteer outside your department or team – find out how to get connected with these opportunities as a WFH employee.  Finally, you can – and should – volunteer to help your coworkers with projects or tasks. This keeps you top-of-mind and allows you to demonstrate your value.   3.    Treat it like a real job (because it is)  Appearances have gotten very slack in the age of COVID. Here’s the thing I have found to be true after working from home for more than a decade: Dressing up for work makes ME feel better about ME. About my work product, my professionalism, my drive and initiative.  If you are working from home, you are saving commute time. Use some of that saved time to dress professionally, fix your hair, and put some makeup on.  The adage of dressing for the job you WANT rather than the job you have still holds true.   4.    Be on time and be professional  If you have a Zoom call scheduled at 4:00, be there. There’s nothing that calls your professionalism into question like being consistently late for meetings.  Make sure the kids won’t be crying nearby, the dogs aren’t barking at the mailman, and your phone won’t ring. Of course, you can’t eliminate all possible distractions – but you can minimize the chances that they will disrupt your meeting.   5.    Let your boss know If you see evidence that your boss is leaving you out of important conversations or cutting your input off, have a conversation with him. There is, however, a caveat here: You have to be willing to listen to what the boss says in return.  Perhaps he has noticed that you don’t speak up as much in meetings as you did when you were in the office. Maybe he questions why you chose to continue to work from home once people started coming back to the office — and thinks this is a sign you aren’t as committed as others are.  Logical or not, it is important to have a conversation with your boss to assure him of your commitment to the work, him, and your team. If you find you are being left out of important meetings held by other staff members, let your boss know about this, as well.   6.    Seek quality over quantity The way many people are approaching WFH equates to burnout – 24/7 access 7 days a week and constant video meetings are not sustainable.  This is your opportunity to hone your time management and boundary-setting skills to create the work-life blend you desire. Done correctly, your quantity of work WILL increase, and your quality will improve dramatically. Know when you are most productive for the various types of tasks you do. Tell your friends and family that you are unavailable during work hours except in an emergency. Create a work environment that is comfortable and conducive. Recognize your particular forms of distraction – i.e. Netflix, laundry – and give them their proper place outside of work hours.   7.    Meet with your boss You need regular meetings with your boss even more when you are working remotely. I highly recommend listening to episode #171 of The Exclusive Career Coach podcast for a deep dive on how to do effective and productive meetings with your supervisor.  Beyond keeping your boss current with your projects and progress, these meetings allow you to tune into your boss’s goals and priorities – which you can then volunteer to help with in a way that best utilizes your talents and passions.  https://exclusivecareercoaching.com/posts/2021-03-31-171-how-to-have-a-successful-11-with-your-boss  8.    Be there in person, when (and if) possible Are you able to travel to the home office occasionally? Can you meet with colleagues and/or direct reports at their worksite or in a neutral location such as a coffee shop? Can you work in the office sporadically?  A little bit of in-person contact goes a long way.   9.    Forward glowing recognition to your boss Be sure to let your boss know about favorable comments from clients, vendors, co-workers, and others in your organization. You could send the information in an email with a comment such as, Dave, I wanted to let you know how happy ABC Company is with our products and service – here’s a note from the Director of Purchasing!   10. Network outside your department.  Set up lunch dates or virtual coffee meetings with people throughout your organization who would be beneficial to get to know. Keep the relationships you already have in your company going.  Focus on building the relationship, staying present, and finding ways to help so you’re top of mind for recognition and promotion. Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The CareerSpring document and coaching program will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.  If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:  https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2 
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Mar 30, 2022 • 18min

220: How to Work with a Difficult Co-Worker

We’ve all had to work with difficult co-workers. Of course, what makes a co-worker difficult to work with for one person may not be an issue at all for another person – maybe they even view that co-worker’s idiosyncrasies as a strength.   Hey – if you haven’t checked out my FREE monthly webinars, now’s the time! On the third Thursday of each month at 4:00 p.m. Eastern, I offer a 1-hour webinar on a job search topic. To see this month’s topic and to register: https://mastercoachwebinars.carrd.co  The most important thing to understand here is that YOU CAN’T CONTROL ANYONE ELSE. Only yourself. The only person you can change is you.  Your co-worker has the right to talk too loudly, gossip about other co-workers, even steal from the company. They may well have to pay for the consequences of their actions, and you may choose to report their unethical or illegal behavior, but you can’t actually change them.  That is not to say that you can’t make requests of the difficult co-worker or have a conversation about your concerns. It DOES mean that you have to own your feelings about the situation and the toll those feelings are taking on you.  My source for this episode is indeed.com.   So, if the only person you CAN change in this equation is           YOU, what steps can you take to live with this unlivable human being in the next cubicle?  1.    Get to know them. Sometimes, just opening up the lines of communication to understand the co-worker makes all the difference. For example, you may perceive that your co-worker is unfriendly towards you in the mornings. You say a bright and cheery “hello!” and they seemingly ignore you. After a conversation, you find out that they are a) not a morning person AT ALL, and b) they schlepp a lot of stuff to work, which they want to unload before communicating with others. Now that you understand, perhaps you can have some grace about their preferences and wait for their friendliness to thaw in the mornings.  2.    Focus on the relationships at work you enjoy. From a brain science perspective, that which we focus on expands. By focusing on the positive relationships you’ve cultivated at work, your issues with your difficult co-worker will take a back seat and seem less critical.  3.    Talk to your boss. If your co-worker’s behavior has crossed the line into unethical, illegal, or immoral behavior, it’s time to speak with your boss. If he or she is unresponsive or, worse, defends the co-worker’s behavior, go to Human Resources.  4.    Accept them as they are. Accept that you may just not like the co-worker’s personality…and be okay with that.  5.    Stay neutral. No matter what, don’t engage in gossip about this co-worker in the office. Not only does gossip feel bad to the gossiper, it can come back to bite you.  6.    Limit your interactions. To the degree that it is possible, avoid being around this person.  7.    Be the better person. Continue to treat others with kindness and respect, and deal with any conflicts in private rather than bringing coworkers into it.  8.    Know your trigger points. Once you can identify the behaviors your coworker displays that you find the most challenging, you can immediately remove yourself from situations where he or she is exhibiting those behaviors.  9.    Focus on the positive.What do you love about your job? What about other aspects of your employment, such as the hours or the benefits? By adopting an attitude of gratitude, you can minimize the impact of the co-worker on your life.  10.Reflect on your own actions. Think about how you act around this co-worker…how you respond to them. How can you change your behavior in relation to this co-worker?  In summary, recognize your thoughts about your difficult co-worker – and decide if those thoughts are serving you. Notice the question isn’t “Are those thoughts true?” but rather, “Do I like how those thoughts make me feel?” “Do I like the results I am experiencing from the way I am currently thinking about this situation?” If you decide you want to think different thoughts, understand that the old thoughts will continue to rear their head – they are neural pathways in your brain, created to make thinking more efficient. In other words, those negative thoughts are playing on a loop in your brain. After you decide you want to think differently, don’t beat yourself up when the old thoughts come up – just recognize that they are there and that they don’t serve you any longer. Practice thinking the new thoughts – say them out loud, write them down, speak of them with family and co-workers. Then notice how you feel – and contrast that to how you felt when you were obsessing over your co-worker.   Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The CareerSpring document and coaching program will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.  If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:  https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2  
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Mar 25, 2022 • 17min

219: Ten Symptoms of Job Burnout - and What to Do About Them

Today, we’re talking about the signs of job burnout and what to do. The first thing I want to say about this topic is that there is the job burnout you can recover from without leaving your current job, and there is the job burnout that will require you to move on.  My sources for today’s episode include Forbes.com and Greater Good Magazine.  Hey – if you haven’t checked out my FREE monthly webinars, now’s the time! On the third Thursday of each month at 4:00 p.m. Eastern, I offer a 1-hour webinar on a job search topic. To see this month’s topic and to register: https://mastercoachwebinars.carrd.co Some of you KNOW you are burned out. For others of you, it may be like lightbulbs burning out one by one – you don’t realize the room is dimming until the last bulb goes out and you are in complete darkness.   Causes of the symptoms of job burnout include: 1.    Lack of job control and or resources to effectively do your job.  Ask yourself: Do I feel in control of my job? Do I have the necessary resources to succeed in my job?  The cure: Talk to your boss about exactly what you need to be effective and what is getting in the way of that. If your boss balks or is part of the problem, this is a job burnout factor that might only be resolved by moving on.   2.    Work overload.  Ask yourself: Does the company culture reward results, or time spent at work? Would I be penalized for working less, even if I still achieved the same results?  The cure: Meet with your boss about lower-priority assignments so you have his/her help and support in rearranging your workload. If the company culture is such that you are penalized for leaving at a reasonable hour or keeping your weekends open, look elsewhere.   3.    Unclear job expectations.  Ask yourself: Do I clearly understand my boss’s expectations of what I need to accomplish?  The cure: If you don’t have a written job description, make a stab at one and meet with your boss about it. Get clarification from him or her on the priorities and expectations – and how your success will be evaluated.   4.    Work environment that leads to increased stress levels.  Ask yourself: Does the office culture and dynamics foster a positive working environment?  The cure: Do what you can to improve your personal work environment, such as plants, pictures, occasionally closing your door. Foster relationships with co-workers through lunches, drinks after work, etc.  If you are working remotely, what can you do to alleviate the isolation? How can you schedule your day and your work environment to alleviate stress?   5.    Lack of physical activity.  Ask yourself: Am I getting enough physical activity to feel good about myself and remain healthy?  The cure: Find micro-opportunities for physical activity throughout your day, such as taking a break every hour to walk up and down a flight of stairs or parking as far away from the building as possible. What do you enjoy doing for activity? Schedule time for a tennis match, run, or yoga class – this should be a top priority.   6.    Too much work and too little play.  Ask yourself: Am I scheduling enough “me” time and time with friends and family?  The cure: I like to think of this as work/life blend, rather than work/life balance. If you don’t feel you have the proper blend, what small ingredients can you add? What quick wins can you have to get more time for yourself and/or with friends and family?   7.    Lack of reward or recognition. Ask yourself: Is there evidence that this company and my boss truly value my contributions?  The cure: If this is a systemic issue with your employer – and rewards and recognition are extremely important to you – it may be time to move on. If the issue lies more with your boss, can you volunteer to lead an employee recognition program with some co-workers?   8.    Lack of fairness and equity.  Ask yourself: Are assignments doled out equitably? Is praise and recognition consistent and in balance with the achievement? Are there “favorites” in the office?  The cure: This may be a time to cut your losses, especially if the boss’s favoritism is hurting your career. If you choose to hang in there, decide that your boss’s favoritism and inequity is no reflection on you or your performance – it’s his or her issue.   9.    Values mismatch. Ask yourself: Do the values of your employer and your boss align with your values?  The cure: If your company makes a product or provides a service you don’t believe in, you’re better off leaving. The same is true if your company operates in a way that is incongruous with your values.    10.Lack of friendships at work. Ask yourself: Do I have close friends at work with whom I can share my successes and frustrations? If I am working remotely, have I accommodated those friendships in this new environment?  The cure: Make friendships a priority – schedule time for lunches, coffee dates, etc. Ask your coworkers about their personal lives. You can do this even if you are working remotely – and it’s all the more important that you do.  According to Jill Suttie, in Six Causes of Burnout at Work: “While organizations can do much to prevent burnout by setting kind, considerate workplace policies and improving workplace culture, individuals have a role to play, too. Understanding what burns you out and trying to alleviate it is important to keeping you happy on the job.“Some people with particular personality traits or career paths may suffer burnout more easily, writes Moss. For example, those who have higher levels of neuroticism (over-worry), conscientiousness (especially if it leads to perfectionism—a potential problem), and introversion (in a highly social office) may be particularly susceptible. “To help individuals do what they can to reduce burnout in themselves, say no to things that are not necessary to do your job, without fear of “missing out” or disappointing others. Do more of what you’re good at and less of the stuff that drains you—perhaps skipping the Zoom meeting with multiple people and phoning a person you need to talk to instead. Lastly, it is important to have friends—at work and outside of it—whom you can lean on when times are hard.” Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The CareerSpring document and coaching program will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.  If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:  https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2     
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Mar 16, 2022 • 19min

218: A Dozen Career Management Tips for 2022

Today, I’m sharing my 12 top career management tips for 2022. For this episode, I pulled information from Workitdaily.com and monstergulf.com. Hey – if you haven’t checked out my FREE monthly webinars, now’s the time! On the third Thursday of each month at 4:00 p.m. Eastern, I offer a 1-hour webinar on a job search topic. To see this month’s topic and to register: https://mastercoachwebinars.carrd.co 1.    Keep your resume up to date. Whether you are looking for a job or completely happy where you are, having an up-to-date resume says to the universe, “I am open and willing to speak with recruiters.” Another benefit: If you frequently update your resume, there’s less chance that you’ll forget important achievements.  2.    Polish your LinkedIn profile. Much like keeping your resume up to date, keeping your LI profile current is a must. I like to think of your profile as “recruiter flypaper,” meaning your content is attracting the recruiters you want to speak with.  3.    Keep a win list. I recommend both paper and computer files of your performance evaluations; kudos from colleagues, your boss, customers, or vendors; details of successful projects you managed or initiatives you introduced; performance metrics such as sales reports. This win list will make your life much easier when it’s time to update your resume or prepare for a job interview. 4.    Get a mentor.I did an episode on the four times in your career when a mentor is especially important; you can find it at https://www.exclusivecareercoaching.com/posts/2021-04-07-172-four-times-when-you-need-a-mentor Mentors can be extremely beneficial in guiding you through the challenges of your job, your profession, your industry, or your company. Choose wisely – and make sure you both are on the same page as to expectations and time commitment.  5.    Become a mentor.Unless you are a still-wet-behind-the-ears recent college graduate, you have something to offer someone. As a rule of thumb, I think you are qualified to mentor someone who is two steps behind you in that area of their professional life. Be open to employees who might be on the search for a mentor – and offer to help others who you are confident would benefit from your expertise and experience.  6.    Make time for networking. For many of my clients, making networking a priority is difficult for them. If they aren’t actively job searching, it is easy to think of work responsibilities as more important than networking. Here’s how I think of this: Noah didn’t wait until it started raining to build the ark. If you make small efforts on a regular basis, your network will remain active and even grow. Then, when you want to look for a new job, that network is there for you to leverage – no need to start from scratch, in the rain.  7.    Join a professional association. Professional associations hold many potential benefits including networking for career advancement, partnership opportunities with colleagues, professional development, and leadership opportunities. Find one that suits your career goals and strengths and go deep in that organization – this is far preferable to joining several groups but not really participating in any of them.  8.    Schedule time for regular meetings with your boss.Last year, I did an episode on how to have productive one-on-ones with your boss: https://www.exclusivecareercoaching.com/posts/2021-03-31-171-how-to-have-a-successful-1-1-with-your-boss This episode points out how to make sure these meetings aren’t cancelled by your boss, what to do when they are, and how to structure them so both of you are excited and energized by the meetings.  9.    Take advantage of professional development opportunities…or create your own.If your company offers courses or provides funds toward continuing your education, take advantage! If they don’t, look for opportunities that will help you do your current job better and position you for the next rung in your career ladder. I find it helpful to look at job descriptions of the position I want next; what are those employers looking for in a qualified candidate?  10.Set a SMART goal.As a reminder, SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Sensitive. Here is an example:“I will begin my MBA in the fall of 2022.” I love the saying, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” It is important to establish a plan to achieve your SMART goal. Your plan to begin your MBA might include the following, with specific dates to achieve: -Take the GMAT -Research online MBA programs -Apply to 3-5 schools -Make adjustments to work schedule and home commitments to allow time for attending online classes and doing homework Your goal could be around additional education or certification, a skill you want to improve on, a technology you want to learn, or a person you want to work closely with.  11.Tackle a gap. In addition to engaging in professional development to position yourself for your next role, what else do you need to be competitive? What experience do you need to have – or have more of? This gap may very well inform your choice for a SMART goal.  12.Google yourself. Not only to find if there is anything negative about you out there, but also to see what positive content is out there. Are you positioned as a thought leader in your field? A subject matter expert? At the pinnacle of your profession? Along these lines, take a look at your credit score and make sure there’s nothing there that could bite you if a future employer wants to do a credit check. Which ones resonated with you? Remember, a goal without a plan is just a wish…so get busy planning to make your career management goals happen. Let me know if I can help!   Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The CareerSpring document and coaching program will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.  If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:  https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2 
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Mar 9, 2022 • 14min

217: How to Position Yourself as a Star Performer

Hey – if you haven’t checked out my FREE monthly webinars, now’s the time! On the third Thursday of each month at 4:00 p.m. Eastern, I offer a 1-hour webinar on a job search topic. To see this month’s topic and to register: https://mastercoachwebinars.carrd.co This week, we’re talking about how to position yourself as a star performer. According to the book The Emotionally Intelligent Workplace by Cherniss and Goleman, there are several key competencies of Star Performers. A Star Performer is defined as someone who is in the top 10% of performance. Those competency clusters are: Self-Awareness – Understanding yourselfSelf-Management – Managing yourselfSocial Awareness – Understanding othersRelationship Management – Managing others The goal is not to be a Star in every competency in each of these clusters, but to have a good balance of competencies across the four clusters. It’s also important to define a derailer – a behavior or attitude that curtails an individual’s performance or advancement. Because of the person’s visibility or impact on others, one derailer can undermine or trump a whole set of Emotional Intelligence competencies. If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode on Your Emotional Intelligence Profile, I highly recommend it, as we define and discuss the facets of Emotional Intelligence in that episode. These facets form the basis for your Star Performer Action Plan, which we are creating today. Briefly, here are the competencies: Under Self-Awareness:-Emotional Self-Awareness-Accurate Self-Assessment-Confidence Under Self-Management: -Emotional Self-Control-Trustworthiness-Adaptability-Conscientiousness-Achievement Orientation-Initiative Under Social Awareness: -Empathy-Organizational Awareness-Service Orientation Under Relationship Management: -Developing Others-Inspirational Leadership-Influence-Change Catalyst-Communication-Building Bonds-Conflict Management-Teamwork and Collaboration  Here are the steps to creating an action plan to become a Star Performer. Step I: What are the competencies that you currently identify as strengths that you would like to improve even more? Step 2: Do you have any critical derailers? Step 3: How can you leverage your strengths to help mitigate your derailers? Step 4: What resources do you need to make this happen, such as training, feedback, etc.)? Step 5: Who can support you and hold you accountable, and what can they specifically do to help you? Step 6: How might you sabotage your efforts and best intentions? Step 7: What will your first 3 steps be to begin executing your plan?  I like examples, and I think you do, too. Let’s call our person Casey, who works as the assistant purchasing manager at a large manufacturing company. Step I: Casey identifies these three strengths that she would like to develop even further: -Emotional Self-Awareness – Casey recognizes her feelings and how they are affecting her work. She would like to improve on owning those emotions in a male-dominated workplace without feeling guilty about having those emotions. -Adaptability – Casey is great at “going with the flow.” She would like to improve on seeing the opportunities for new challenges proactively, instead of just being reactive to what is already in front of her. -Building Bonds – Casey has a strong network at work. She would like to improve her network in her community and in her profession.  Step 2: Casey identifies her critical derailers. -Confidence – This is, by far, Casey’s biggest derailer. She hesitates to speak up in meetings and doesn’t always express her opinion on matters she is very familiar with. -Organizational Awareness – Casey considers herself to be “apolitical,” and resists the idea of “playing politics” at work. -Inspirational Leadership – Casey wants to move up into greater leadership roles within her profession and company, and she recognizes that her “worker bee” approach will not serve her in leadership roles.  Step 3: How Casey can leverage her strengths to help mitigate these derailers. -To improve on her Confidence, Casey is going to leverage her extensive internal network to identify 2-3 mentors who are confident women and would be willing to help her. -To improve on her Organizational Awareness, Casey is going to establish this as a goal with her immediate supervisor, who is strong in this area. -To improve on becoming an Inspirational Leader, Casey is going to check out TEDx talks and look for YouTube videos and books on becoming an inspirational leader.  Step 4: Casey has identified the following needs: -Mostly, Casey needs time to achieve all of her goals, so she is going to reorganize her work schedule to accommodate meetings with potential mentors and her boss. She will learn about Inspirational Leadership on her own time, so she is going to set aside time for that, as well.  Step 5: Casey has identified her best friend, who works at the same company in another department, as her accountability partner.  Step 6: Casey recognizes that her biggest challenge in making these improvements is her lack of self-confidence – she is concerned that she won’t have her own back about taking the time and showing the courage she needs to do these things. Her best friend is very self-confident and assertive, so she is specifically asking her for help with this.  Step 7: Casey has identified these first three steps in reaching her goals: 1.    Reach out to 2 internal contacts each week to schedule a lunch date, coffee date, or some other way to meet with them to discuss becoming a confidence mentor for her. 2.    Establish a meeting with her direct supervisor to discuss strategies to improve Casey’s Organizational Awareness. 3.    Set aside 2, 1-hour blocks each week to find and view TEDx talks and YouTube videos and read books on Inspirational Leadership.  It is important with any big goals such as these to share them with people who will support you and hold you accountable – who will be your cheerleaders when you succeed and your friend when you stumble.  Are you in the wrong job that chips away at you every day? The CareerSpring document and coaching program will help you find a job that uses your zone of genius, recognizes your value, and pays you what you’re worth.  If you’re ready to take your job search to the next level by working with a highly experienced professional with a track record of client success, schedule a complimentary consult to learn more:  https://calendly.com/lesaedwards/zoom-meetings2  

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