My Momma Told Me

Are white people getting worse at making food on purpose? Langston and David cook this conspiracy theory in the studio. Does this come from white people's reaction to Black people getting more rights? Is this some sort of sick empowerment? How are bad meals going viral? They dissect regional food conversations and even rank which US region is the best. Also, is there a tendency for people to like everyone else's food, but not their own? We just want white people to know they have potential in the kitchen, but when they don't apply themselves, we're heading to Golden Corral.  FOLLOW + SUBSCRIBE ON ALL PLATFORMS FOR ALL HILARIOUS AND PROBLEMATIC TALKS: INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit mymommatoldme.merchcentral.com Bye, bitch! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our guest, comedian Jamel Johnson's momma, is worried that the government is trying to make people small and tries to pitch Mama Mia X to Langston and David. As we look into the history of homunculi, we learn the scientists were mixing...seeds—also, carnival slavery and car-jitsu. Girls breaking up fights. We were robbed of reggae pirates in Pirates of the Caribbean. Grills. Steel drums, and Keira Knightley twerking! Imagine what we lost. We cast Coming to America 3 and ponder what other classic Black films need sequels. Plus, a fan calls, wondering if white people decompose faster than Black people, and that's why they need to be buried faster. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Here's a super favorite: Langston and David are visited by Big Money Players head honcho, Will Ferrell, on this week's episode. Questions arise: will this guest alienate our listeners? Who is "Pappa"? Why does he want to drink pee so badly? He shares personal conspiracies regarding the cure for athlete's foot and more Stevie Wonder stories. Plus, a round of quid pro quo hoe gets him to answer the hard-hitting questions. There's no escaping this one, white devil! SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667) LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For the first time, comedian Herman Wrice brings us a classic legend. We're discussing thee American legend Bigfoot. Is the abominable snowman and the yeti the same genus as Bigfoot? What's the real story behind the hoax? Did they find Bigfoot in Sanoma, California? We review the Razor camera footage. This is why they won't say Jesus is Black; if we knew, there'd be anarchy in the streets. Is a giraffe a stretched out horse? What did Montelle Jordan mean when he said, "I can get mine in a big black truck"? How good does Master P get? We answer these burning questions, and a listener calls to ask if the Colin Kaepernick kneel was a setup. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lil Mommas...Boo! Langston and David answer a listener's email about the infamous Hag that suffocates you while you're sleeping. SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667) LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Historically, Dewayne Perkins has had between thirty and forty barbers, and his observation - they're all homophobic. Or at least, the culture of the shop encourages men to feign homophobia to fit in. In the homorotic spaces of locker rooms, sports fields, and barbers' chairs, is there a response from straight men to try to counter that energy? Langston shares the traumatic experience of having the same haircut as his mom. Could a kissing booth heal homophobia? Is the barbershop too expensive? Should we be getting our hair cut less? Plus, a caller believes we're living in a simulation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey ya'll here is one of our favorites from this year. Are we already in the apocalypse? Langston and David chat with comedian, content creator, and rapper Patrick Cloud (Cloudy Arcade and Head of Content at All Def). They bring you chicken conspiracies, Nelly songs, and systematic issues when white-owned corporations target the Black community. Why isn’t the Popeyes lady, Diedre Henry, the CEO of Popeyes already? And is AI already plotting to kill us? They also haze Patrick with some voicemails about Black genetics and rubbing one out.  SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667) LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Youngest children are spoiled children. That's comedian, Tacarra Williams, theory courtesy of her eldest children. Langston and David discuss whether or not parents deserve grace, the validity of muckbangs, and debate the validity of priority pick-up. Plus an exhausted caller from Utah swears he's not drunk, just high. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey lil moms, here's another old mini episode! Langston and David answer a listener's email about artists placing hidden messages in their music, specifically Candy by Cameo is about cocaine.  SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667) LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON 800 POUND GORILLA YOUTUBE INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is Optimus Prime a c**n who betrayed his fellow cars? David wonders how long it is too long to keep your eyes closed in the barber's chair. Langston has one of the most unhinged conspiracy theories yet submitted to the podcast: Did Optimus Prime betray the Autobots by supporting the human race? Y'all see how we treat cars? Disgusting! Plus, the guys answer two voicemails. The first caller states that robot slang anthropomorphizes robots, and the second thinks Diddy purposely cast Anthony Mackie as Tupac in Notorious, the caller's only connection to the legendary rapper.  SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667) LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON 800 POUND GORILLA YOUTUBE INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/ FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.