Mojo for the Modern Man

Author, speaker and communications trainer Pellegrino Riccardi opens Act 1 reflecting on growing up as a child of Italian immigrants in the UK; “You know, once I left the door of the house I was in the UK… When I went back in the house again, I was back in Italy.” He shares the contrasts between his rugged Italian “hillbilly” roots and the relatively polite English schools in which he was educated… and the impact of the dark, controlling - even violent - shadow side of his school experience.Pellegrino discusses the wisdom behind pushing boundaries, drawing on influences that range from comic Ricky Gervais to his own gun-toting, rough-and-tumble cousins he spent time with every summer in Italy.  He reminds us that without pushing boundaries and taking risks, growth simply doesn’t happen.We spend a few minutes on the “Slap Seen ‘Round the World”, leading us into a rich conversation about the roots of violence - including that which Pelligrino experienced, witnessed and, coming full circle, came to perpetrate in his own home.Pellegrino wraps up Act 1 by speaking on the intersections of shame, pain, violence, trauma, shortcomings, and the importance of finding language and other ways of communicating - honestly and transparently - what is present, lest things unexpressed find their way to violent acting out.For over 30 years, Pellegrino Riccardi has excited and delighted audiences all over the world with a style of public speaking that brings together the ability to present complex ideas in a simple and accessible way, which is then wrapped up in a seamless fusion of masterful storytelling and observational humour.Pellegrino has a unique ability to quickly connect with a wide spectrum of audiences, from Baby-Boomers to Z Generation, from public sector employees to C-suite executives, from high-risk entrepreneurial enterprises to more “conservative” international organisations.You can find out more on his website, on LinkedIn, Facebook, or "the Insta."If you're a man or know any, Pellegrino's book, Drowning Quietly - Memoir of a Man's Shortcomings, is highly recommended reading!

Shana James, author, speaker, podcaster, and men’s coach, opens today’s episode describing the genesis of her lifelong quest for understanding the human condition–both psychologically and spiritually. As an inquisitive kid, Shana found herself frustrated by the lack of answers for her curious questions.  She asked herself, “What are people not telling me?”She recalls that even in her earliest days she understood that the arguments, misunderstandings, and confrontations she witnessed at home revealed that, “Whoa!  They’re not fighting about what they think they’re fighting about!”Shana’s yearning for understanding led her to leave home as soon as possible, to pursuing a Master’s in Psychology, to living in intentional community…After participating a workshop created inside that community, she found herself profoundly called to work with men.And in the decades since, the energy of that calling has not diminished!We take a plunge into the deep end of the pool, riffing on intimacy, sex, communication, vulnerability, and a whole lot more.  We pepper in a few words about the stuff that gets in the way – and the stuff that clears the way and opens the gates to more fulfilling, openhearted relationships.A brief, albeit brilliant, detour leads us to “the ‘umm’, the ‘hmmm’, and the ‘ugh,’” which Shana laughingly reflects on as the simplification of humans as complex beings.Shana serves up a treasure trove of wisdom on the topic of sex and men and their oft confusing, even stunted, relationship to pleasure. We close with a discussion of the evolving nature of relationships, the power of mature honesty, and some great recommendations for resources for men seeking to up-level their intimacy – sexual and otherwise…And, of course, Shana shares a bit about her new book, Honest Sex!Shana James, MA Psy., has coached more than a thousand leaders, CEOs, authors, speakers and people with big visions who step into more powerful leadership, start and grow businesses, create more effective teams, increase their impact, get promoted, find love, create a legacy, and become more personally inspired and fulfilled.Held by clients as a "secret weapon," Shana is a translator between women and men, providing effective tools to transform conversations and dynamics into connection and collaboration.Links to more of Shana's good work:August 2022 Masterclass (free): 3 Ways to be Rejection Proof After Divorce or BreakupTEDx talk: What 1000 Men's Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men and WomenThe Man Alive Podcastshanajamescoaching.comLinkedIn

Ed Frauenheim launches Act 2 with an exploration of pivotal moments leading to his current work.  “I got into this [work] of masculinity in workplaces through a long-term study of what makes workplaces and leadership good, if not great.”  That study led Ed to joining the research and consulting firm behind the “Fortune 100 Best Companies to Work For” list, giving him keen insight into what happens at the confluence of workplace leadership and masculinity.Ed shares how his work highlighted some of the more serious issues within the workplace, for example, leading from models of “traditional masculinity,” which he found can “end up leaving a guy being isolated, rigid, and cold in a world that’s now calling for connection, agility, and warmth.  It’s really not a good formula…”We discuss the big picture of what it means to be whole, and how the full spectrum of energies, both feminine and masculine, can be found in each of us.Ed touches on the “battle for the soul of men,” pointing to the darker seductions of numbing addictions, violent and childish acting out, drawing our attention to the choice point today’s men currently find ourselves in.Ed digs into a series of discussions of his colleagues, including co-author Ed Adams, and the range of work he’s involved in.  He highlights Project Compassion and their important, timely mission of bringing compassion into the world of policing.We begin to wrap Act 2 with Ed taking us on a nickel tour of his latest book, finally bringing it on home with a lovely lesson of compassion learned on an L.A. freeway from his son!Ed Frauenheim is about reinventing masculinity, workplaces and society--and about connecting the dots among the three for a more soulful world.  He is a writer, speaker and consultant who has focused on workplace, technology and culture matters for more than 25 years.  His stories have been featured in Fortune, Wired and USA Today.  Ed spent six years as director of content at Great Place to Work, the global consultancy that produces the annual Fortune 100 Best Companies to Work For list.  He has co-written four books including A Great Place to Work For All and Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection.   Ed co-founded The Teal Team, a group of professionals dedicated to creating more soulful organizations.  He also co-founded Project Compassion, an initiative to elevate compassion in policing to strengthen the heart of communities. He is the father of two teenagers and husband to artist Rowena Richie. He lives in San Francisco.Find Ed at edfruaenheim.com, on LinkedIn and Twitter - @edfrauenheim

Author and researcher Ed Frauenheim opens  Act 1 reminiscing about his past as a young boy in a suburb of Buffalo, NY, an “idyllic place” where Ed’s early - and somewhat persistent - understanding of what a man was supposed to be took form. As a young man, Ed’s perceptions of manhood were challengingly rigid; “it’s about competition, it’s about being tough, it’s not about expressing emotion, and those were hard rules for me to fit into in a lot of ways…”He shares a story of how, in a hockey game at the formative age of 13 that ended in a shared championship title, he viewed the outcome as a loss, because a tie was not a heroic win.While Ed was arguably very successful on paper, his ideals of manhood led to coloring his  formidable accomplishments as “not quite,” even as a high-achieving student at Princeton University.Ed reflects on how separating self-worth from achievement and one's “win-loss record,” even in things like playing basketball and Frisbee golf with friends, makes room for different kinds of relationships between men.  He touches on important lessons learned from examining competition and introduces the critical practice of forgiveness.Before wrapping Act 1, we wrestle with letting go of armor to open ourselves to more substantial, emotionally vulnerable and connected relationships, bringing it home with a fun examination of how fatherhood offers fantastic opportunities for a reset… whilst stripping away any remaining illusions of control.Ed Frauenheim is about reinventing masculinity, workplaces and society--and about connecting the dots among the three for a more soulful world.  He is a writer, speaker and consultant who has focused on workplace, technology and culture matters for more than 25 years.  His stories have been featured in Fortune, Wired and USA Today.  Ed spent six years as director of content at Great Place to Work, the global consultancy that produces the annual Fortune 100 Best Companies to Work For list.  He has co-written four books including A Great Place to Work For All and Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection.   Ed co-founded The Teal Team, a group of professionals dedicated to creating more soulful organizations.  He also co-founded Project Compassion, an initiative to elevate compassion in policing to strengthen the heart of communities. He is the father of two teenagers and husband to artist Rowena Richie. He lives in San Francisco.Find Ed at edfruaenheim.com, on LinkedIn and Twitter - @edfrauenheim

Ray Arata kicks off Act 2 with a discussion about Heart Based Leadership – a framework of emotional literacy that Ray distills down to “power of the heart.”  Our conversation quickly turns to real life comparisons between the toxic masculinity of Vladimir Putin and the heart-based Leadership Volodymyr Zelenskyy has shown throughout the ongoing Russian war on Ukraine.  We dip into privilege from a mess of different angles, play with opening “the man box”, touch on accidents of birth, shine a light on what happens when “guys are just guys” in a corporate meeting room with all men and just one woman, poke at facing responsibility and collective homophobia… And that’s just a small sampling of where the conversation goes! Ray shares a few stories from his newest book, Showing Up: How Men Can Become Effective Allies in the Workplace, citing some not-so-pretty examples of unconscious privilege in action.  He underlines the importance of making the effort to develop real-world practices that create true allyship - personally and professionally.  We bring Act 2 home with some great information on the Better Man Conference, some grounded advice on next steps, and an invitation from Ray to reach out!Ray Arata is an award-winning diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) leader and speaker, consultant, and trainer, with global clients from PwC to Verizon to Toyota to Bloomberg. He founded the Better Man Conference for the development of healthy masculinity and men as allies and partners. Ray was recognized by UN Women in 2016 as a HeForShe Champion for Change and received the Ron Herring 2020 award.  His new book is Showing Up: How Men Can Become Effective Allies in the Workplace.  Learn more at rayarata.com and bettermanconference.com.

Ray Arata, author, DEI expert and founder of the Better Man Conference, opens Act 1 by discussing some of the most formative experiences of his life. Ray tells of a “one-two-punch” wake-up call in 1991 that helped shape him into the man he is today, when he faced divorce on two fronts; one from his wife, the other from a business partner, all in the span of weeks. Ray reflects on the pain he experienced (and unconsciously spread) and the growth he was able to achieve later, only after truly examining himself and learning to trade external validation for self-acceptance. Through his experience with the Mankind Project and the introspection it inspired, Ray was able to recognize how his deep-rooted pain and buried emotions contributed to the dissolution of his first marriage: “My then wife didn’t sign up to be my mother, but for all intents and purposes, the little boy in me was running the show.” Ray muses on the importance and impact of MKP’s New Warrior weekend where, in the company of men, he was able to see himself clearly and begin to unpack repeating behavioral patterns. His awakening and transformation firmly on track, Ray learned much about emotions, accountability, integrity, and the importance of being in community with other men doing their own work. “I was determined to not ever go back to sleep,” and to that end, he continued the rigorous work of carefully unraveling himself to build back stronger.Ray wraps Act 1 with a discussion about power and the different ways it can manifest. We riff on the functions - and dysfunctions - of power, drawing key distinctions between the power of wounded shadow and ego versus the power of the heart.Ray Arata is an award-winning diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) leader and speaker, consultant, and trainer, with global clients from PwC to Verizon to Toyota to Bloomberg. He founded the Better Man Conference for the development of healthy masculinity and men as allies and partners. Ray was recognized by UN Women in 2016 as a HeForShe Champion for Change and received the Ron Herring 2020 award.  His new book is Showing Up: How Men Can Become Effective Allies in the Workplace.  Learn more at rayarata.com and bettermanconference.com.

Michael S. Seaver opens Act 2 with a discussion of purpose, mission and the distinction between the two. Michael makes fascinating observations about his process of self-discovery breaking away from the established patterns of his youth to become his own man. He affirms, “I am not the mental models that my parents distilled in me…” For Michael, finding his mission was a series of “iterations and processes,” or as he puts it, his “Earth School” curriculum. Michael expands on this idea of identifying the mental models of our younger days to draw clear conclusions about our emotions.  As he says, “I promise you that you can tie them to an origin event from your childhood.” After slowing down and examining his own emotions against that childhood framework, Michael began to see patterns, subliminal messaging, and programming that informed not only his own experience, but so many aspects of society at large.We discuss novel therapeutic models like Forest Bathing, which Michael expertly explains as one of the best ways to reconnect with the things are natural and matter most to us. Michael lines up the runway in  Act 2 by discussing his new book, “I Know: A Practical Guide for Awakening to What's Within and Finding Work-Life Integration.”  He brings us home with a deeply personal story of a time when, feeling overwhelmed by his life, he laid on his floor contemplating taking his own life.  His savior?  None other than his cat, Cleopatra, and her purrs of love. Michael S. Seaver is an award-winning executive coach, leadership consultant, keynote speaker, and author. He’s on a mission to unlock human potential to help people uncover and live their purpose and live a more meaningful, authentic life. Michael’s unique methodology has revolutionized how leaders can live authentically and how organizations engage employees. He offers no-nonsense strategies to help people find confidence in their life’s narrative, find commonalities across generations working together, and communicate with emotional intelligence. Michael’s newest book, I Know, is available in print, ebook, and audiobook. For more, visit michaelsseaver.com. CONTACTmichael@michaelsseaver.com  SOCIAL MEDIAhttps://www.instagram.com/michaelsseaver/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelsseaver https://www.youtube.com/user/SeaverConsulting https://www.facebook.com/MichaelScottSeaver https://twitter.com/michaelsseaver  

Michael S. Seaver opens Act 1 with stories of growing up in a small town in Michigan, where his life largely revolved around the family business. He recounts those early years, saying, “I’ll never forget those days of never feeling heard or understood for who I was or am today. I always felt emotionally abandoned.” At 18, Michael began to realize that his place in the world was outside of Michigan. He muses on the importance of this revelation, describing it as a building torrent: “first a creek, then a brook, then a waterfall” powerful enough to thrust him into his degree, push him through a divorce, and finally wash him up at the banks of freedom. With freedom came growth, stillness, and reflection – skills vital in a culture that often moves too quickly for its own good.  Michael riffs on how these skills, coupled with his experience in the family business, shaped how he approaches service and relationships.  Yet it wasn’t until age 29 that Michael really knew how he wanted to apply his skills. Michael is one of the lucky few who discovered his true calling at a relatively young age - with help, of course. He recounts his experiences with Pam, a career coach whose wisdom, combined with a battery of assessments, helped set him on his calling’s career path.  We wrap Act 1 with Michael sharing his purpose: to unlock the potential of others. Michael S. Seaver is an award-winning executive coach, leadership consultant, keynote speaker, and author. He’s on a mission to unlock human potential to help people uncover and live their purpose and live a more meaningful, authentic life. Michael’s unique methodology has revolutionized how leaders can live authentically and how organizations engage employees. He offers no-nonsense strategies to help people find confidence in their life’s narrative, find commonalities across generations working together, and communicate with emotional intelligence. Michael’s newest book, I Know, is available in print, ebook, and audiobook. For more, visit michaelsseaver.com or reach him via email at: michael@michaelsseaver.com  SOCIAL MEDIAhttps://www.instagram.com/michaelsseaver/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelsseaver https://www.youtube.com/user/SeaverConsulting https://www.facebook.com/MichaelScottSeaver https://twitter.com/michaelsseaver 

Tony Daloisio begins Act 2 with a story of a recent experience he had at lunch with a good friend.  Presented with what could have easily become a confrontation, he describes facing a “moment of truth” and how slowing down, opening his heart choosing to empathize deepened the friendship.Tony leads us into a discussion highlighting his own work as well as that of Robert Kegan.  He weaves elegantly between inner and outer work, touches on the importance of self-awareness, and points us toward noticing the feedback the outside world is constantly serving up.He offers his divorce as a clear example of a wakeup call that he chose to answer.  In doing so he consciously faced the man in the mirror, “took myself on,” as he says, and got about the deep, challenging business of making real, tangible change. Tony riffs on the role ego plays in how men maintain a shell they present not only to the outside world, but also place between themselves and their own inner beings.  From there, he brings us into the “three portals: Behavioral, Psychological, and Spiritual.”We wrap Act 2 riffing on the importance of accountability and responsibility in leading a good, imperfect, Journeyman Life, and end with not only valuable gems of wisdom, but also actionable suggestions to begin to develop one’s “inner guidance system.”Dr. Tony Daloisio was trained as an organizational psychologist and has practiced in that field for over thirty years, serving hundreds if not thousands of businesses, not-for-profit organizations, schools, hospitals, NGOs, and government agencies/military operations. His work with them has incorporated strategic planning and implementation, change management, team development, executive coaching, and executive education. He has been a professor in the MBA program at Georgia Tech’s Scheller College of Business, teaching leadership and organizational change. In the early parts of his career, which began in education, he was an inner-city high school principal where he advocated for disadvantaged youth. He received a Ph.D. from the University of Connecticut in the field of Organizational Psychology and Counseling Psychology, where he received a fellowship for his research in leadership style and taught graduate courses in psychology.In the early 2000s he forged a partnership with the late Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author of the blockbuster New York Times bestseller The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and then his son, Stephen M. R. Covey to develop the consulting practice Principle Centered Leadership and teach The 7 Habits course around the world.He founded and has been the CEO of Charter Oak Consulting group for thirty years. The company was listed as one of Inc. Magazine’s fastest-growing companies and has been awarded numerous citations for best-in-class consulting projects in various industries.In 2017 he co-authored a highly acclaimed business book with Kendall Lyman entitled, Change the Way You Change.Tony lives in Washington Depot, Connecticut, and Atlanta, Georgia, with his wife, Teresa Hargrave.  He is the proud father of Tim Daloisio and Morgan Daloisio and grandfather to Ryan, Julia, Addie, and James. He is enjoying his consulting practice with schools, NGOs, business startups, and a variety of mission-driven companies. He has a love of the outdoors, hiking, biking, and his favorite, golf. With the publishing of this book, The Journeyman Life, he will be conducting training programs for men to lead groups of men interested in applying the ideas and tools from the book.www.thejourneymanlife.comwww.changethewayyouchange.comwww.cocg.com

Tony Daloisio opens Act 1 with his story of life with “Mother Mary”, his brilliant and extraordinarily troubled mother.  Tony’s mother was an “obsessive, compulsive, neurotic” parent who “ruled with an iron fist,” who did everything in her power to control her environment, including her children.  Tony goes on to describe the energy of his extended family as “dangerous.” As a relatively young teen, Tony realized that he was actually his own person.  Often forced by his mother to sit for hours at a time during which she wrote and would later take swats at him, he began to fight back by putting his hands up to block his mother’s physical blows.  “I never hit back,” says Tony, but he sent a clear message that he was no longer going to allow the physical abuse. Citing Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning,” Tony points to the importance of choice and the recognition that a big part of creating his own path came down to the choices he had the power to make.Tony shares the lessons learned through his own traumas, and we touch on how trauma lives in the body.  We wrap our first Act riffing on stimulus, response, and the importance of self-observation, self-awareness, finally bringing it home with wisdom about the values-driven choices that become available when one develops conscious, self-reflective practices.Dr. Tony Daloisio was trained as an organizational psychologist and has practiced in that field for over thirty years, serving hundreds if not thousands of businesses, not-for-profit organizations, schools, hospitals, NGOs, and government agencies/military operations. His work with them has incorporated strategic planning and implementation, change management, team development, executive coaching, and executive education. He has been a professor in the MBA program at Georgia Tech’s Scheller College of Business, teaching leadership and organizational change. In the early parts of his career, which began in education, he was an inner-city high school principal where he advocated for disadvantaged youth. He received a Ph.D. from the University of Connecticut in the field of Organizational Psychology and Counseling Psychology, where he received a fellowship for his research in leadership style and taught graduate courses in psychology.In the early 2000s he forged a partnership with the late Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author of the blockbuster New York Times bestseller The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and then his son, Stephen M. R. Covey to develop the consulting practice Principle Centered Leadership and teach The 7 Habits course around the world.He founded and has been the CEO of Charter Oak Consulting group for thirty years. The company was listed as one of Inc. Magazine’s fastest-growing companies and has been awarded numerous citations for best-in-class consulting projects in various industries.In 2017 he co-authored a highly acclaimed business book with Kendall Lyman entitled, Change the Way You Change.Tony lives in Washington Depot, Connecticut, and Atlanta, Georgia, with his wife, Teresa Hargrave.  He is the proud father of Tim Daloisio and Morgan Daloisio and grandfather to Ryan, Julia, Addie, and James. He is enjoying his consulting practice with schools, NGOs, business startups, and a variety of mission-driven companies. He has a love of the outdoors, hiking, biking, and his favorite, golf. With the publishing of this book, The Journeyman Life, he will be conducting training programs for men to lead groups of men interested in applying the ideas and tools from the book.www.thejourneymanlife.comwww.changethewayyouchange.comwww.cocg.com