Are you single—or in a relationship—and keep falling for people who almost love you right, but not quite? There's a reason why that happens, and Ken Page has figured out the formula behind these deeper physics of dating.Ken is a psychotherapist specialized in the search for intimacy, and author of the book Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy (https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/deeper-dating-en).In this episode, Ken explains why the parts of you that you're most embarrassed about—that you try to hide by being cool, low maintenance, or extra accommodating—are actually your most valuable gifts that will lead you to finding and keeping real intimacy. He also reveals what he considers to be the single biggest saboteur of healthy love, and talks about different ways in which we flee intimacy without being aware of it.Whether single or in a relationship, this episode is for everyone who wants to foster their skills of intimacy, and deepen their bonds with themselves and others.Books Ken recommends:Ken recommends Harville Hendrix’s work, especially Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. He also mentions his work around Safe Conversations.Books Caitlin and Ben recommend:The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, by Gary ChapmanAttached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love, by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. HellerGetting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, by Harville HendrixCaitlin also mentions Imago Relationship Therapy, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt.Try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to https://www.blinkist.com/simplify [2], tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code COREGIFTS.Let us know what you thought of this episode, what your core gifts are, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller [3], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [4]Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler and Marta Medvešek. Big thanks to Luiza S. Carvalho for audio engineering chops and Odysseas Constantinou for music.[1]: https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/deeper-dating-en[2]: https://www.blinkist.com/simplify[3]: https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller[4]: https://twitter.com/bsto

Did you know that 50% of the time the tone over email, Slack, and text is misunderstood? This is because in the digital world, the cues we would usually send with our bodies are missing—facial expressions, gestures, vocal tone—and that can cause a lot of misunderstandings. And this is why Erica Dhawan, the author of Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance https://read.macmillan.com/lp/digital-body-language-audiobook/ [1] believes that "reading carefully is the new listening and writing clearly is the new empathy."In today's episode, Erica will help you become aware of the signals you might be sending with your digital body without knowing it, and teach you how to reduce anxiety and frustration—both for yourself and others. She will also share ideas on what to do in order to avoid groupthink cultures in digital spaces and create psychological safety so that everyone can feel free to express themselves.Books recommended by Erica:Rituals Roadmap: The Human Way to Transform Everyday Routines Into Workplace Magic, by Erica KeswinRemote Work Revolution: Succeeding from Anywhere, by Tsedal NeeleyProfessional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual, by Luvvie Ajayi JonesBook recommended by Caitlin:The Speed of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything, by Stephen M.R. CoveyTry Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to https://www.blinkist.com/simplify [2], tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code DIGITAL.Let us know what you thought of this episode, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller [3], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [4]Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler and Marta Medvešek, and our wonderful co-host today was Deborah Caulet, Blinkist’s Head of People Development. Big thanks to Luiza S. Carvalho for audio engineering chops and Odysseas Constantinou for music.[1]: https://read.macmillan.com/lp/digital-body-language-audiobook/[2]: https://www.blinkist.com/simplify[3]: https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller[4]: https://twitter.com/bsto

Do you sometimes find yourself replying to work emails late at night... from bed? Or maybe taking on another task that, almost as soon as you've agreed, you realize you don't actually have time for? Often, instead of behaving as if we’re exchanging our intellect, talent, and skills for money, we feel like whoever pays us owns us. And this is where trouble starts.In today's episode Natalie Lue will help you understand why you might be struggling with boundaries at work, and what you can do to start changing these unhealthy patterns. This episode was recorded with a live audience in April 2021, and in the second part you will hear Natalie answer questions about dealing with anxiety, expectations and re-learning how to socialize in the workplace.Natalie is a speaker, author and podcast host around all things emotional baggage, and you can find the Shortcast of her show The Baggage Reclaim Sessions in the Blinkist App.You can try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to https://www.blinkist.com/simplify [1], tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code BOUNDARIES.Books recommended by Ben and Caitlin:Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Amelia Nagoski and Emily NagoskiWhen the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress, by Gabor MatéProfessional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual, by Luvvie Ajayi JonesYou can find Natalie's online course Reclaim Your Work Boundaries here: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaim-your-work-boundaries-online-course/ [2]Let us know what you thought of this episode, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller [3], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [4]Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler and Marta Medvešek. Big thanks to Luiza S. Carvalho for audio engineering chops, Odysseas Constantinou for music, and a special thanks to Chisanga and Evrim for their great questions![1]: https://www.blinkist.com/simplify[2] https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaim-your-work-boundaries-online-course/[3]: https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller[4]: https://twitter.com/bsto

Does talking about death freak you out? No wonder, it's something many of us avoid thinking about and prefer pretending it's not there. But it's an important topic, and if we can allow ourselves to sit with the truth that life will eventually end, it becomes a beautiful call to appreciate our lives and the people in them. And this is why palliative care physician Kathryn Mannix wrote her book, With the End in Mind: Dying, Death, and Wisdom in an Age of Denial https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/with-the-end-in-mind-en. Having witnessed death many thousands of times, Kathryn has come to a view that there's usually little to fear and much to prepare for.In this episode, Kathryn will help you understand what the human organism goes through as death approaches so that you can be less afraid of the process itself. She'll share how to prepare for the end of your life—both practically and mentally—as well as what you can do if you find yourself on the other side, supporting a loved one approaching the end of theirs.Books recommended by Kathryn:- Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End, by Atul Gawande- Waiting for the Last Bus: Reflections on Life and Death, by Richard HollowayBooks recommended by Caitlin and Ben:- Spoiler Alert: You're Gonna Die, by Korttany Finn and Jacquie Purcell- When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi- On Death and Dying, by Elisabeth Kübler-RossTry Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to https://www.blinkist.com/simplify, tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code MANNIX.Let us know what you thought of this episode, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller[3], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [4]. Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler, Ines Bläsius, and Marta Medvešek. Thanks to Luiza S. Carvalho for audio engineering chops and Odysseas Constantinou for music.[1]: https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/with-the-end-in-mind-en[2]: https://www.blinkist.com/simplify[3]: https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller[4]: https://twitter.com/bsto

One thing most leaders have in common is that they want to perform well. And that often leads them into the trap of believing that to be a great leader, you’re not allowed to be scared—or at least that you'd better not show it.In this episode, Jim Dethmer invites us to embrace the opposite: allowing yourself to be fully present and fully alive—including feeling all your feelings—is the first step towards more conscious leadership, whether you’re leading a team, or just leading yourself through life. The key question is: are you ready to make that shift? This is your first step for learning how.This episode is the first  of the two-parter on the book The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/the-15-commitments-of-conscious-leadership-en [1], that Jim wrote  with Diana Chapman and Kaley Warner Klemp. You can listen to the second part with Diana Chapman right away—it’s already in the feed. Apps mentioned by Jim:- Mind Jogger for Apple devices - Randomly RemindMe for Android devices Books recommended by Caitlin and Ben:- No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy - Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, by Byron Katie with Stephen Mitchell - Daniel Goleman’s books on emotional intelligence Try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to [https://www.blinkist.com/simplify\][2], tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code THELINE.Let us know what you thought of this episode, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller [3], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [4]. Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler, Ines Bläsius and Marta Medvešek. Thanks to Luiza S. Carvalho for audio engineering chops and Odysseas Constantinou for music.[1] https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/the-15-commitments-of-conscious-leadership-en[2] https://www.blinkist.com/simplify[3] https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller[4] https://twitter.com/bsto

Most of us learned how to do relationships from a state of victimhood. According to Karpman's Drama Triangle, there are three different roles to play: the victim, the hero and the villain. Regardless of these parts we take on, we're avoiding taking full responsibility for our experiences and our results in the world, which in turn causes a lot of drama and suffering. In this episode, Diana Chapman explains what it means to take radical responsibility—both at work and at home—and why this "serious business" actually goes hand in hand with playfulness. This episode is the second part of the two-parter on the book The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/the-15-commitments-of-conscious-leadership-en [1], that Diana wrote together with Jim Dethmer and Kaley Warner Klemp. You can find the first part with Jim Dethmer in the feed. Book recommended by Diana: - Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, by James Clear Diana also mentions work by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, as well as Karpman's drama triangle. Books recommended by Caitlin and Ben:- Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, by Stuart M. Brown Jr. and Christopher Vaughan - Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean, by Kim Scott - The No-Gossip Zone: A No-Nonsense Guide to a Healthy, High-Performing Work Environment, by Sam Chapman Try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to [https://www.blinkist.com/simplify\][2], tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code PLAYFUL.Let us know what you thought of this episode, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller [3], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [4]. Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler, Ines Bläsius and Marta Medvešek. Thanks to Luiza S. Carvalho for audio engineering chops and Odysseas Constantinou for music.[1] https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/the-15-commitments-of-conscious-leadership-en[2] https://www.blinkist.com/simplify[3] https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller[4] https://twitter.com/bsto

If your child is having a meltdown or throwing a tantrum in the supermarket, you'll do almost anything to make them stop—including turning into MeanParent™.  But there's another way!Dr. Tina Payne Bryson offers a different approach to discipline, free of threats and punishments, that is based on neuroscience. Understanding and nourishing your child's developing brain will not only help you survive the chaos, but also help them thrive - because their behavior is telling you loud and clear what skills they don't yet have.In this episode, Tina shares some of the key ideas on parenting from the books she wrote with Daniel J. Siegel, The Whole-Brain Child https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/the-whole-brain-child-en [1] and No-Drama Discipline https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/no-drama-discipline-en [2].Not a parent? Keep listening anyway – this episode will help you understand what happens to your loved ones when they’re having a meltdown, and how you can best support them.Books recommended by Tina:-        The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, by Jessica Lahey-        Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, by Julie Lythcott-HaimsBooks recommended by Caitlin:-        The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, by Elaine N. Aron-        The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them, by Elaine N. AronOther Tina's books mentioned in the interview:-        The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired, by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson-        The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child, by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson-        The Bottom Line for Baby: What the Science Says about Your Biggest Questions and Concerns, by Tina Payne BrysonTry Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to https://www.blinkist.com/simplify [3], tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code TANTRUM.Let us know what you thought of this episode, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller [4], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [5]. Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler and Marta Medvešek. Thanks to Luiza S. Carvalho for audio engineering chops and Odysseas Constantinou for music.[1] https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/the-whole-brain-child-en[2] https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/no-drama-discipline-en[3] https://www.blinkist.com/simplify[4] https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller[5] https://twitter.com/bsto

Worn down by your never-ending to-do list? Even though there’s been a shift towards a more holistic idea of productivity in the last years, a lot of people still think that being productive is all about efficient time managing and achieving more.And this is where Erik Fisher comes in. Over the past 10 years, Erik's hosted some of the world's biggest productivity experts on his show, Beyond the To-Do List—people like Michael Hyatt, Cal Newport and James Clear. So we asked him: what are the most important productivity principles he's learned in his years studying the subject?By the end of this episode, you will know what you need to do to achieve your goals and do your best work—and an important part of it is giving yourself a break!Book recommended by Erik:-        The Motivation Code: Discover the Hidden Forces That Drive Your Best Work, by Todd Henry with Ron Penner, Todd W. Hall, and Joshua MillerIn the interview Erik also mentioned David Allen’s Getting Things Done, Brian Tracy’s Eat That Frog!, as well as ideas from Michael Hyatt, Daniel Pink, and Jon Acuff.Books recommended by Ben and Caitlin:-        Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life, by Nir Eyal-        A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload, by Cal Newport-        Ready Aim Fire! A Practical Guide To Setting And Achieving Goals, by Erik Fisher and Jim Woods https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/ready-aim-fire-en [1]Try Blinkist for free for 14 days (and hear Erik's Shortcast!) by going to https://www.blinkist.com/simplify [2], tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code TODOLIST.Let us know what you thought of this episode, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller [3], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [4]Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler and Marta Medvešek. Big thanks to Odysseas Constantinou for audio engineering chops and music.[1]: https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/browse/books/ready-aim-fire-en[2]: https://www.blinkist.com/simplify[3]: https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller[4]: https://twitter.com/bsto

For a lot of us, our job is a profound expression of selfhood. That means that when we lose a job, or when a business fails, we might feel like failures, too. And in today’s uncertain economy this happens a lot more than anybody would like. In this episode, Farai Chideya, author of The Episodic Career https://www.blinkist.com/en/books/the-episodic-career-en [1], offers a new perspective on how to approach your career path so that you can both survive and thrive at work in the age of disruption. When you understand that you're not your job, but rather that it’s a thing that you do, it's much easier to bounce back, make a pivot, or even temporarily earn less on your way to doing work that really fulfills you. Sci-Fi podcasts recommended by Farai:1. Clarkesworld2. Escape Pod3. StarShipSofaBooks mentioned by Caitlin and Ben:1. How to Find Fulfilling Work by Roman Krznaric (The School of Life)2. What Color Is Your Parachute: Your Guide to a Lifetime of Meaningful Work and Career Success by Richard N. Bolles with Katharine Brooks3. The Multi-Hyphen Life: Work Less, Create More, and Design a Life That Works for You by Emma GannonTry Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to [https://www.blinkist.com/simplify\][2], tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code REBOOT. Let us know what you thought of this episode, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at [@caitlinschiller][3], Ben at [@bsto][4]. Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler, Ines Bläsius, and Marta Medvešek. Thanks to Odysseas Constantinou for audio engineering chops and music.[1]: https://www.blinkist.com/en/books/the-episodic-career-en[2]: https://www.blinkist.com/simplify[3]: https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller[4]: https://twitter.com/bsto

To show you just how much we've missed you, season 7 of Simplify is extra large and extra excellent! This time, you'll hear from a dating psychologist on connecting at the deepest level, the ultimate productivity expert on working in seasons, and even a hospice physician on how to have a good death—and live life to the fullest in the meantime.As always, this season features bestselling authors like Tiffany Dufu, Ken Page, Farai Chideya, and Kathryn Mannix, and as a bonus, Shortcast hosts Natalie Lue and Erik Fisher!If you haven’t subscribed, make sure to do so before the first new episode drops on May 20th. If we’re lucky enough to already count you as a Simplify fan, then please spread the word and tell your friends. It really does help! Send us feedback, suggestions, or questions about anything you’ve heard or would like to hear at podcast@blinkist.com. And if Twitter’s your thing, you’ll find Caitlin @CaitlinSchiller and Ben @bsto.