The Addicted Mind Podcast

When we are in deep pain or we have these hardships in our life, we have to learn how to transmute them and turn them into something different – not just overcoming it. As for KL Wells, she decided to transmute her pain into service by helping others whose loved ones are struggling with addiction.KL is a businesswoman and she has a 30-year-old son who is a recovering addict. Through the course of her life, she has lived the generational story around addiction, not struggling with addiction herself, but being able to see addiction from a different perspective. Her mom was addicted to prescription medications, which was something popular back in those days. Then she had a brother who was addicted to cocaine. She married an alcoholic and divorced, and had her son out of that marriage. She subsequently remarried a recovering alcoholic of 28 years. Seeing her son being arrested at gunpoint and who was yelling at her to save him was a very traumatic experience for her. In that moment, every dream she had for him shattered. Her heart broke, but in that "cracking open," she also knew it was meant to happen for her, fully aware that you have to give yourself permission to completely dissolve, and let the emotions work through you. Hearing KL’s story, there's so much resilience flowing through her. When you have a child who is suffering from a disease that could kill him or her, it has a catalytic impact on us, as parents, like nothing else can. She knew she had to put this down in a way that she can help other people because it's incredibly painful to witness the people you love in so much suffering.Today, KL talks about her project, Voices InCourage, a community that provides that space where you actually feel heard on a multitude of layers and levels, and that people get you because they've walked that path. Then you can be raw and real, and transmute it for yourself so it serves your journey.  In this episode, you will hear: KL’s journey as the loved one of different addicts The two major questions from which Voices InCourage was born out of The two life-defining moments for KL Transmuting your challenges instead of overcoming them Embracing our traumas and grief Key Quotes:[06:56] - “Pain pushes until vision pulls.”[08:36] - "When you have a child who is suffering with the disease that could kill him or her, it has a catalytic impact on us as parents, like nothing else can."[12:17] - “You have to give yourself permission to completely dissolve, and let the emotions work through you.”[14:53] - “In the midst of COVID, with all the numbers just skyrocketing in terms of overdoses and relapses, addiction going up, alcoholism going up, and abuse going up… We're in a pandemic of proportions we've never seen before.”[16:59] - “We are on the planet to serve. All of our life experiences are building blocks to service.”[18:26] - “We're human beings, and we have a full component of emotions and sadness and grief are part of life.”[25:37] - "95% of our success or failure is predicated on the community that we surround ourselves with."[26:46] - "One of the top human needs is to be heard and we're not trained to do this as a society, as a culture, as a world."Supporting Resources:https://voicesincourage.com/Man's Search for Meaning Book by Viktor FranklEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For most people who get into recovery, at some point, food and sugar become an issue in their life. It serves as a secondary feel-good mechanism when they're not feeling great. But why is sugar so appealing? Why do some people struggle so much with it that it causes problems in their life? On today’s episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, Duane speaks with Mike Collins about the science behind sugar addiction and how it negatively impacts people in recovery. When Mike got sober, he went right back to sugar in massive amounts and a lot of people in recovery do that. Completely sugar-free for over 30 years now, Mike is the Chairman of the Board of a Food Addiction Institute that helps raise awareness about processed food and sugar worldwide. He is the founder of SugarAddiction.com which has been helping thousands successfully quit sugar for over nine years.Mike talks about the concept of an emotional management system where we are literally managing our emotions with a ubiquitous, almost free product that's available anywhere. Some people may stop for 30 days. But they revert back to their emotional management system, which has been co-opted by sugar. There are two major things here. First is how the food industry has weaponized this knowledge of the neurological workings of our brain – sugar being the gateway drug. It has that long shelf life so it's cheap to manufacture. And once they get you kind of addicted to it, they keep selling it to you. It's not just food, it's a mood changer.Mike shares his own story of how sugar impacted his own life when he started recovery, the impact of sugar addiction, and how to work through that process and get away from sugar addiction. In this episode, you will hear: Why sugar is the original gateway drug The science behind sugar addiction Why people are struggling with sugar addiction Sugar as a cultural norm Understanding the emotional management system The epidemic of overweight children and the real problem that’s causing it Key Quotes:[02:59] - “A group of people who are in recovery from drugs and alcohol have struggled with sugar.”[05:46] - “The nucleus accumbens, the dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, GABA, adrenal glands, oxytocin, even your endorphins – all these things are affected by sugar.”[07:32] - “We are literally managing our emotions with a ubiquitous, almost free product that's available anywhere.”[08:53] - “We have to separate hyper palatable foods and sugar from real food."[11:32] - “When you stop eating these refined carbohydrates and processed foods, even the gut biome has to start to shift and change and adapt to not having this product in the body.”[18:17] - “When you're consuming a large amount of sugar, your body is putting this hormone out that drives your behavior. Until you shift that, it becomes really hard to even stop the process.”[20:55] - “People fall back to the old emotional management system when something difficult comes up.”[35:13] - “We have an epidemic of overweight children, and they're not out shopping for food.”[36:19] - "The concept of calories needs to be destroyed. It's a ridiculous construct." Supporting Resources:www.sugaraddiction.comHooked: Food, Free Will, and How the Food Giants Exploit Our Addictions by Michael Mosshttps://www.amazon.com/Hooked-Food-Giants-Exploit-Addictions/dp/0812997298Metabolical: The Lure and the Lies of Processed Food, Nutrition, and Modern Medicine by Robert H Lustighttps://www.amazon.com/Metabolical-Processed-Nutrition-Modern-Medicine/dp/0063027712 Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Being in the restaurant industry, serving alcohol is such a big part of it. It’s intended to create an experience, just like the food, music, and the interior of the space. But if you're struggling with alcohol or drugs, it would be such a hard industry to be in because you're going to be around those all the time. In fact, about 17% to 24% of restaurant workers around the country have issues with alcohol and drugs. And that’s because it’s the only industry where drinking and drugging have become the norm. They’ve created that kind of atmosphere where it's widely accepted and readily available. Our guest today is Mickey Bakst, the co-founder of Ben’s Friends, a recovery community dedicated to helping struggling addicts in the food and beverage industry find sobriety and seek recovery and support – without having to give up their lives and their careers. At the forefront of what they do is creating a community of people who not only understand the addiction, but understand the life that the F&B workers live in. Active since 2016, Ben’s Friends is a safe space to talk about it knowing that they will not be judged.In the treatment of all kinds of addictions, when people can talk about it and connect with others, and they can feel heard and understood – that's when change happens.38 years sober now, Mickey was found in a hotel room after four days of drugging and drinking and ended up at the emergency room table. Because of his addiction, he also ended up losing his restaurant business, his home, and anybody who cared about him. Now at 69 years old, Mickey continues to live out his passion for helping individuals in the F&B industry who are struggling with addiction and he sets an example for those seeking sobriety. On this episode, Mickey shares a little bit of his own story, some of the unique struggles that come with working in the restaurant community, and why Ben’s Friends can be so helpful for someone in the restaurant industry who’s struggling with alcohol and substance abuse.In this episode, you will hear: His struggles at AA The parts of AA that resonated with Mickey the most How Ben’s Friends started Why the restaurant industry is prone to alcohol and drug addiction How Ben’s Friends is able to create a strong community within their industry  Key Quotes:[08:29] - Nothing happened for me until I made a decision that for me, I wanted to live and I knew I couldn't live the way I was.[14:03] - "Anywhere from 17 to 24% of restaurant workers around the country are having issues with alcohol and drugs."[15:39] - "We're the only industry where drinking and drugging is the norm. It's accepted."[18:14] - "At the forefront of what we do is creating a community of people who not only understand the addiction, but understand the life that the F&B workers live in."[26:18] - "Once you make a decision, and that decision flows through your being that you can no longer drink if you want to live the life you want to live."[26:35] - "Ben's Friends gives people who are struggling with that obstacle a place to talk about it where they're not judged." If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.Supporting Resources:www.bensfriendshope.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/bensfriendsnationalFacebook: www.facebook.com/bensfriendsnational Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mindfulness – everybody hears about it and they have all kinds of ideas of what mindfulness is. A lot of times, they think it's this really complicated thing and that you have to do the whole kung fu thing to be mindful. But you don't have to.On today’s episode, Duane carries an inspiring conversation with Janet Fouts, the author of Microdosed Mindfulness. Janet devolved into depression when her partner was diagnosed with cancer. She found it hard to handle things well, considering how she had to take care of her partner while also running her business. As her way of numbing the pain, she began to drink a lot and tried a few drugs. She found it hard to get out of it but she knew she had to stop.She ended up going to a mindfulness-based stress reduction course, a weekend retreat that blew her mind and led her to learn about mindfulness and dive deep into studying, quitting her job, and becoming a teacher.Janet identifies self-judgment as the biggest hurdle of a person’s mindfulness journey. When you stop to recognize that judgment, you begin to back away and get centered.Recognize that it's okay to come back to it. That's part of the process. So don't be hard on yourself if you didn't get to meditate today. All you need are microdoses, moments to start living mindfully instead of practicing mindfulness.Once mindfulness dawns on you, you realize it’s just about being aware. And when you're aware of the fact that you're not aware, you switch back to being aware again. It’s such a simple concept but it can take a long time for some people to get there.When you're in emotional suffering and a lot of pain, your body's telling you that you've got to get out and do something to stop the pain. It may tell you to do so by using drugs, for instance. In those times, sitting with mindfulness can be really challenging, even if it's just 10 seconds. But it can be done!In this episode, you will hear: How mindfulness came into Janet’s life What awareness means How to get started with practicing mindfulness What it means when you normalize something How mindfulness shifts your perspective The biggest hurdle of starting a mindfulness journey Why you also need to celebrate Key Quotes:[02:45] - "I was convinced that if I just learned to meditate that everything would start to move slower, and I would be able to manage my life and everything would be wonderful."[05:34] - “It's really so simple when it dawns on you that all mindfulness is simply being aware.”[06:08] - “Another word I like to use is ‘notice’ - and that’s the simplest version of awareness.”[08:53] - “When we're aware, and when we're paying attention, we're such better human beings.”[15:39] - "We just need the microdoses. We just need the moments and pretty soon, we start living mindfully, instead of practicing mindfulness."[18:10] - “There's tons of maladaptive behaviors that we can get into if we want to. But sometimes you really just have to go, ‘Wow,’ this really hurts.”[21:08] - "We can actually retrain our brain to be happier, to have more joy simply by recognizing joy more often."Supporting Resources:www.microdosedmindfulness.com Microdosed Mindfulness book: www.microdosedmindfulness.com/#e-book Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Our guest today is AdaPia d'Errico and she is going to talk about intuition and paying attention to our authentic self. Her book is titled Productive Intuition: Connecting To The Subtle. Often, our intuition and our authentic self can be very subtle and difficult to pay attention to, especially if we've struggled with trauma and hardship. AdaPia is really passionate about her work, sharing her story, and sharing her wisdom. Her StoryAdaPia was at a point in her life where she was so completely lost and essentially went through a spiritual crisis. Everything she knew how to do was not working. She completely lost her marbles. She didn't have anybody to talk to. She was prejudging herself before even going into something new. What life or the universe or God delivered to her was just failure. Her whole identity fell apart and, in that process, she realized it wasn't actually failure; it was a different door she had to go through to get clarity and trust herself.Her book comes out of her last few years of getting that clarity and discovering how intuitive she is, how intuitive we all are, and how to use that intuition intentionally. We all have intuition. Sometimes we use it and it works but we don't understand it. Other times we don't listen to it at all.If we've had trauma or hardship, especially early childhood trauma, listening to intuition can be difficult. In some ways, it doesn't even seem like it's there.We've all had different levels and types of trauma. What connects all of us as humans is trauma. The conditioning and stories we grew up with as well as being told who we should be and how to please were all essentially traumatic.In this episode, you will hear: How trauma connects all humans What the intuitive space is How we're neurologically biologically hardwired for intuition Ways of understanding our intuition Why it’s so hard to let go of a thought This takes work and energy! Key Quotes:[04:30] - "We've all had different levels and types of trauma, and what connects all of us as humans is trauma because we've all had it."[05:49] - “You just know. You're not believing something, you're not listening to a voice, it's not a voice, it's a knowing. And that is inherently tied to intuition.”[07:02] - "It's super important to get the left brain on board to really understand instead of blindly believing, because blind belief isn't going to get us anywhere."[07:40] - “There's all these different mechanisms inside of us that are ways of moving inward instead of outward.”[08:26] - “Noticing our own pattern starts to bring us inward because we're focusing on ourselves instead of on somebody else or on an outside object.”[10:30] - “That emotional, energetic charge lives in our body, which is why so much somatic work is really important to help us release the stories and release the thought.”Supporting Resources:Productive Intuition: Connecting To The Subtlewww.adapiaderrico.com/ Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why is addiction so hard to control? Does that mean addiction can’t be treated? On today’s episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, Duane talks to Dr. Paul Kaloostian. Dr. Paul Kaloostian is a neurosurgeon in Los Angeles as well as an author. His books include The Young Neurosurgeon: Lessons from My Patients and two different poetry books, From The Eyes Of A Doctor and My Surgical Cases Told In Poems.As a neurosurgeon for 17 years now, Dr. Kaloostian has dealt with thousands of cases of people with neurological conditions. Seeing the need for awareness of mental health, he took a poetic approach to his books to make it easier for the world to understand what it’s like for patients who are going through neurological conditions, some of which are caused or aggravated by addiction. On today's episode, he talks about the brain, his patients, and why we do some of the things we do even when we don't necessarily want to do them. No one wants to be addicted. But the brain is such a powerful organ that what our brains decide to do is what we do. We don't really have that much control. That’s why addiction is a hard problem to fight and beat. The brain is a powerful organ so once it gets stimulated, it's difficult to change. It takes work and energy – but it's not impossible. Because of Paul's compassion for his clients and his appreciation for the vulnerability of his clients to come and seek help, this is an episode you need to listen to. While you may not fully understand what people with neurological conditions are going through until you’ve gone through the same experience, having the ability to understand these concepts today is a good way to start to develop empathy.In this episode, you will hear: What drew Paul to neurosurgery Why he took a medical poetic approach in writing his books The need to show empathy to these patients How the brain is linked to addiction Areas of the brain responsible for addiction Why addiction is a pathological condition Why addiction is so hard to control Key Quotes:[04:30] - "A single cell of the brain has so many different functions within it. It's literally a universe within a cell."[06:54] - “We only really use about five to 10% of our brains… And just imagine if we're able to utilize another 10% of our brains, what we would know, and 50% more of our brains, what we would know.”[12:02] - “Addiction is a big, big problem, not only in the field I'm in but just globally, in terms of economic costs, and medical costs and violence that happens."[12:44] - “After a while of doing drugs, alcohol, or smoking, the brain thinks that's normal so it makes your body want to stay in that environment.”[15:08] - "It's really the reward part that dominates because people like that high feeling of winning, being happy and super excited. That always will win over any other type of feeling in your brain. That's just part of the addiction process.”[15:54] - "What our brains decide to do is what we do. That's why the brain is such a fascinating and critical aspect of our lives."[16:37] - "The brain is very, very powerful. And once the brain gets stimulated, it's a powerful organ to change. It takes work and energy. But it's not impossible."Supporting Resources:The Young Neurosurgeon: Lessons from My Patients From The Eyes Of A DoctorMy Surgical Cases Told In PoemsEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

People going through addiction recovery deal with feelings of shame, guilt, and unworthiness that no one else can understand unless they’ve gone through a similar situation. However, if someone comes to them at their level, they can automatically pull some of that shame away. This is where peer specialists can help people through addiction treatment and recovery. Today’s guest is Kabir Singh, the CEO and Founder of Fresh Start Recovery Center and the Chief Operating Officer for Amatus Health. He talks about his journey through recovery and how he’s also helping others get the treatment they need and find healing in the process, all with human connection at its core.Kabir began gravitating towards substance abuse at an early age, not realizing he had a need for help that went unnoticed. Struggling at school, he always felt he wasn’t good enough and that he couldn’t measure up. He thought resorting to substance abuse was the only thing he was capable of doing. After getting a DUI three times throughout his life, he finally entered into the halls of recovery at 34 years old. He learned about his disease, about his addicted mind, and what drove and fueled his addiction. In 2013, he became one of the first certified peer recovery specialists in the state of Maryland. In this episode, he talks about his role as a peer specialist, who can become one, how to be certified, how they’re different from counselors and therapists, and the value they provide to people struggling with substance abuse disorder.Ultimately, it’s by bringing humaneness to our connection that people heal. When we find ourselves in extreme pain, we don’t know if we still have anything to give. Healing is all about reminding each other of our value and that we all have something to offer the world. In this episode, you will hear: Kabir’s road to addiction and recovery How he became a CPRS What peer recovery specialists do  The advantages of a peer group Why peer intervention is very helpful in helping people heal The need for self-care as a peer specialist Key Quotes:[11:23] - "There are multiple pathways to recovery, and that's what the peer movement is about.”[11:44] - "My heart was always in the right place. But my thinking was not."[17:08] - "I entered into the halls of recovery, learned about the disease... I learned about my addicted mind, what drove and fueled the addiction."[22:55] - "You do not have to be a person in recovery, and you can be what's considered an ally to recovery."[24:59] - "We're all on the same level in the group."[25:36] - "When you have a therapist and a client, there is this kind of hierarchical, unspoken structure there."[28:26] - "You already feel so much shame, you're already in the hospital, and this person comes to you at your level, automatically pulls some of that shame away."[30:26] - " What a better way to reach folks than to bring down all those walls of inequality and level out the playing field."[33:42] - "More often than not, we are in recovery. And it's very important that we as peers, and I as a peer, do the work I need to do on myself outside so that I don't mix up the two."[35:56] - "The greatest sign of strength is asking for help."Supporting Resources:Fresh Start Recovery CenterAmatus HealthConnecticut Community of Addiction RecoveryEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On today’s episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, Duane talks with relationship maven Abby Medcalf. Abby is a psychologist, author, podcast host, and a TEDx speaker. Abby is the author of the #1 Amazon best-selling book, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won't Do A Thing and host of the top-rated Relationships Made Easy Podcast. Abby is in long-term recovery from heroin. She was very functional and very good at hiding it for many years. Along her journey of recovery, she got a business degree and eventually started counseling her colleagues and helping them improve their relationships. That marked the beginning of her beautiful journey from self-recovery to helping people recover in life and relationships. Abby has helped thousands of people think differently so they can create connection, ease, and joy in their relationships. With over 30 years of experience, Abby is a recognized authority and sought-after speaker at organizations such as Google, Apple, AT&T, Kaiser, PG&E, American Airlines, and Chevron. Today, Abby shares some key insights from her book. She also touches on taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and the things you can do to change them. Abby has a ton of positive energy that she brings to this episode along with practical advice and steps backed up by research to help you feel better and change your life. In this episode, you will hear: Abby’s journey through heroin addiction recovery. The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, but connection. What is compassionate responsibility? Why you need to stop hitting the snooze button. How to keep yourself in positive momentum all day. What is the Reticular Activating System (RAS)? The reason people are not connecting. Planning your feelings like you plan your day. Key Quotes:[06:10] - “The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety – it's connection.”[06:37] - "You can be happily married and in a happy relationship if you're not married, even if your partner won't do anything because it's all about what you do."[08:10] "You're the dominant vibration. Have other people calibrate to you, don't you calibrate to them. And this is part of taking responsibility."[12:47] - "If you can just take one thing from your gratitude list, really feel it, feel the state of it, and be in it, you will have so much more bang for your buck than writing 15 pages of something."[16:33] - "Going places sometimes where no one knows you, you do have that chance to start over again." [18:29] - “The reticular activating system or RAS is your filter between your conscious and your subconscious mind. When you consciously think of something, it sends it as an order or an instruction to the subconscious to look for it.”[21:04] - "Our conscious brains process information at a rate of 50 bits per second, while our unconscious or subconscious brains process information at a rate of 11 million bits per second."[23:04] - "Why aren't we connecting? It's because people hear what you mean, not what you say. They can feel where that's from."Supporting Resources:www.abbymedcalf.com Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won't Do A Thing Relationships Made Easy PodcastEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What most people don't realize about addiction, whether it’s to alcohol, drugs, shopping, overeating, or porn, is that it’s not the core of the problem. The addicted person just uses it to cope with their real problem: their addicted mind or funky brain. For recovery to happen, people need to change their thinking to grow to new levels of awareness.On this episode, Duane talks with Dennis Berry, the author of Funky Wisdom: A Practical Guide to Life and the host of The Funky Brain Podcast. He has been sober since April 8, 2003 and now has expertise in life mastery. During the time since 2003, he became a successful businessman, athlete, and family man. His journey and recovery helped him find his mission in life: to help others achieve inner peace, success, and mastery in every area of their lives. Dennis knows what it's like to be helpless and hopeless with no positive direction. He was able to climb out of the gutter and transform his life so now he spends his life helping others do the same. His goal is to help people understand life on a whole different level and to see the world differently.Living by his mantra of gratitude and service, he hopes to shorten people's learning curve for growing to new levels of awareness to six months or a year instead of five or seven years. Dennis calls himself a grateful alcoholic because all that he did got him to this new place of living, growth, understanding, and awareness. Today, Dennis talks about practical steps you can take to mitigate your suffering, ease your pain, and create the meaningful life you want. Hopefully, this episode helps you on your journey through recovery. In this episode, you will hear: It’s not about drinking but emotional sobriety. The inspiration behind his book and why “funky wisdom.” The HOW approach to what. What you need to do when your world changes. What can you do with your most valuable asset? If addiction is not the real problem, what is? How do you create willingness? Why he's a grateful alcoholic. The value of having an expert in every area of your life. Rewiring your beliefs and behaviors in six categories of your life. Why writing is more powerful than talk therapy. Key Quotes:[02:30] - "It wasn't about not drinking... it's about following up. It's about looking at the world in the eye and acting like a mature adult. And what we strive for really is emotional sobriety”[07:32] - "You can't solve a problem you can't admit exists."[07:43] - "When you're in enough pain, that's when the change can occur because we don't like change as human beings."[08:15] - “When I'm stressed out, angry, resentful, fearful, you know, what I find is usually that the world changed, and I didn't change along with it."[13:47] - “We need to really change our thinking to really grow to new levels of awareness.”[23:19] - “It may not help them at this moment. But we're planting those seeds."[28:17] - "We want to surround ourselves with success all the time, whenever possible. So I was taught to have an expert in every area of your life."[30:37] - "There's no shame in asking for help. In fact, it'll get you there faster."[32:50] - “What we need to do is focus on one goal at a time. We start knocking down each of those goals at a high level. And then all of a sudden, we start changing.”Supporting Resources:Funky Wisdom: A Practical Guide to LifeThe Funky Brain PodcastEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When a partner has a substance use disorder, there's a lot of mistrust. There's a lot of lying and hiding which damages the intimacy, connection, and faith in the relationship. Afterward, all of that has to be repaired.On today’s episode, Duane talks with international corporate attorney Chantal Jauvin about her journey to recovery as a partner of someone with a substance abuse disorder.As an international corporate attorney with expertise in trade law and financial services, Chantal has worked with Fortune 500 companies from around the world, dealing with matters from free trade zone manufacturing in Costa Rica to fast-moving consumer goods in Europe. Her work has allowed her to travel to different places including Cambodia, Russia, and Vienna.Chantal's journey of recovery started by meeting the man that she fell in love with (who eventually became her husband). Soon, she found out about his dark secret: he was a functional alcoholic. She was not aware that he was struggling with a disease or that he was hiding it. She was initially in denial of his addiction. She made excuses that just left her blindsided. Finally, they went to relationship counseling and that paved the way for her husband’s healing process.In her new book, “Love Without Martinis: How Couples Build Healthy Relationships in Recovery Based on Real Stories,” Chantal shares her wisdom about healing through the stories of real couples going through the same experience. As she says in the interview, it is the book she wished she had at the beginning of her journey of understanding and growing while loving someone who is in their own recovery. Today, she talks about her experience, how she got to this book, and how she was able to get other couples to talk about their experiences and share their wisdom of what they learned going through this experience. In this episode, you will hear: Chantal’s professional background as an attorney Her journey of recovery with her husband’s addiction problems How her husband’s changing behavior prompted her to change as well The different phases that a partner of someone with substance abuse disorder goes through The benefits of having a third party to help your partner through addiction treatment What Chantal did during the treatment and recovery process How the relationship needs to be fixed as well How she got other couples to share their own stories of addiction recovery Key Quotes:[06:19] - “I do what I think a lot of us who love someone who struggles with alcohol is, in my mind, I make a lot of excuses.”[08:08] - “When you love someone who has an addiction, all of a sudden your world closes in and all you can think of is how you're going to get them to stop drinking.”[10:24] - “I wasn't happy with my own behavior, how I was becoming so wrapped in him."[12:59] - “I was not aware that he was struggling with a disease. But I knew something wasn't right about all this alcohol.”[15:18] - “What happens when you have a third party that comes into the conversation, they're able to bring perspective and able to ask the right questions.”[17:32] - “I had to learn to let him be in charge of his own recovery, but be supportive of him." [21:33] - “In recovery, when you're in a relationship there is – I am recovering. My partner is recovering, but our relationship is recovering.”[22:38] - “It's hard to be vulnerable to someone who has not been trustworthy. So how do you re-establish that connection?”[31:52] - "The thing about addiction, we have to remember is we're not dealing with the person, we're really dealing with the disease."Supporting Resources:Love Without Martinis: How Couples Build Healthy Relationships in Recovery Based on Real StoriesEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.