The Addicted Mind Podcast

People going through addiction recovery deal with feelings of shame, guilt, and unworthiness that no one else can understand unless they’ve gone through a similar situation. However, if someone comes to them at their level, they can automatically pull some of that shame away. This is where peer specialists can help people through addiction treatment and recovery. Today’s guest is Kabir Singh, the CEO and Founder of Fresh Start Recovery Center and the Chief Operating Officer for Amatus Health. He talks about his journey through recovery and how he’s also helping others get the treatment they need and find healing in the process, all with human connection at its core.Kabir began gravitating towards substance abuse at an early age, not realizing he had a need for help that went unnoticed. Struggling at school, he always felt he wasn’t good enough and that he couldn’t measure up. He thought resorting to substance abuse was the only thing he was capable of doing. After getting a DUI three times throughout his life, he finally entered into the halls of recovery at 34 years old. He learned about his disease, about his addicted mind, and what drove and fueled his addiction. In 2013, he became one of the first certified peer recovery specialists in the state of Maryland. In this episode, he talks about his role as a peer specialist, who can become one, how to be certified, how they’re different from counselors and therapists, and the value they provide to people struggling with substance abuse disorder.Ultimately, it’s by bringing humaneness to our connection that people heal. When we find ourselves in extreme pain, we don’t know if we still have anything to give. Healing is all about reminding each other of our value and that we all have something to offer the world. In this episode, you will hear: Kabir’s road to addiction and recovery How he became a CPRS What peer recovery specialists do  The advantages of a peer group Why peer intervention is very helpful in helping people heal The need for self-care as a peer specialist Key Quotes:[11:23] - "There are multiple pathways to recovery, and that's what the peer movement is about.”[11:44] - "My heart was always in the right place. But my thinking was not."[17:08] - "I entered into the halls of recovery, learned about the disease... I learned about my addicted mind, what drove and fueled the addiction."[22:55] - "You do not have to be a person in recovery, and you can be what's considered an ally to recovery."[24:59] - "We're all on the same level in the group."[25:36] - "When you have a therapist and a client, there is this kind of hierarchical, unspoken structure there."[28:26] - "You already feel so much shame, you're already in the hospital, and this person comes to you at your level, automatically pulls some of that shame away."[30:26] - " What a better way to reach folks than to bring down all those walls of inequality and level out the playing field."[33:42] - "More often than not, we are in recovery. And it's very important that we as peers, and I as a peer, do the work I need to do on myself outside so that I don't mix up the two."[35:56] - "The greatest sign of strength is asking for help."Supporting Resources:Fresh Start Recovery CenterAmatus HealthConnecticut Community of Addiction RecoveryEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On today’s episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, Duane talks with relationship maven Abby Medcalf. Abby is a psychologist, author, podcast host, and a TEDx speaker. Abby is the author of the #1 Amazon best-selling book, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won't Do A Thing and host of the top-rated Relationships Made Easy Podcast. Abby is in long-term recovery from heroin. She was very functional and very good at hiding it for many years. Along her journey of recovery, she got a business degree and eventually started counseling her colleagues and helping them improve their relationships. That marked the beginning of her beautiful journey from self-recovery to helping people recover in life and relationships. Abby has helped thousands of people think differently so they can create connection, ease, and joy in their relationships. With over 30 years of experience, Abby is a recognized authority and sought-after speaker at organizations such as Google, Apple, AT&T, Kaiser, PG&E, American Airlines, and Chevron. Today, Abby shares some key insights from her book. She also touches on taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and the things you can do to change them. Abby has a ton of positive energy that she brings to this episode along with practical advice and steps backed up by research to help you feel better and change your life. In this episode, you will hear: Abby’s journey through heroin addiction recovery. The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, but connection. What is compassionate responsibility? Why you need to stop hitting the snooze button. How to keep yourself in positive momentum all day. What is the Reticular Activating System (RAS)? The reason people are not connecting. Planning your feelings like you plan your day. Key Quotes:[06:10] - “The opposite of addiction isn't sobriety – it's connection.”[06:37] - "You can be happily married and in a happy relationship if you're not married, even if your partner won't do anything because it's all about what you do."[08:10] "You're the dominant vibration. Have other people calibrate to you, don't you calibrate to them. And this is part of taking responsibility."[12:47] - "If you can just take one thing from your gratitude list, really feel it, feel the state of it, and be in it, you will have so much more bang for your buck than writing 15 pages of something."[16:33] - "Going places sometimes where no one knows you, you do have that chance to start over again." [18:29] - “The reticular activating system or RAS is your filter between your conscious and your subconscious mind. When you consciously think of something, it sends it as an order or an instruction to the subconscious to look for it.”[21:04] - "Our conscious brains process information at a rate of 50 bits per second, while our unconscious or subconscious brains process information at a rate of 11 million bits per second."[23:04] - "Why aren't we connecting? It's because people hear what you mean, not what you say. They can feel where that's from."Supporting Resources:www.abbymedcalf.com Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won't Do A Thing Relationships Made Easy PodcastEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What most people don't realize about addiction, whether it’s to alcohol, drugs, shopping, overeating, or porn, is that it’s not the core of the problem. The addicted person just uses it to cope with their real problem: their addicted mind or funky brain. For recovery to happen, people need to change their thinking to grow to new levels of awareness.On this episode, Duane talks with Dennis Berry, the author of Funky Wisdom: A Practical Guide to Life and the host of The Funky Brain Podcast. He has been sober since April 8, 2003 and now has expertise in life mastery. During the time since 2003, he became a successful businessman, athlete, and family man. His journey and recovery helped him find his mission in life: to help others achieve inner peace, success, and mastery in every area of their lives. Dennis knows what it's like to be helpless and hopeless with no positive direction. He was able to climb out of the gutter and transform his life so now he spends his life helping others do the same. His goal is to help people understand life on a whole different level and to see the world differently.Living by his mantra of gratitude and service, he hopes to shorten people's learning curve for growing to new levels of awareness to six months or a year instead of five or seven years. Dennis calls himself a grateful alcoholic because all that he did got him to this new place of living, growth, understanding, and awareness. Today, Dennis talks about practical steps you can take to mitigate your suffering, ease your pain, and create the meaningful life you want. Hopefully, this episode helps you on your journey through recovery. In this episode, you will hear: It’s not about drinking but emotional sobriety. The inspiration behind his book and why “funky wisdom.” The HOW approach to what. What you need to do when your world changes. What can you do with your most valuable asset? If addiction is not the real problem, what is? How do you create willingness? Why he's a grateful alcoholic. The value of having an expert in every area of your life. Rewiring your beliefs and behaviors in six categories of your life. Why writing is more powerful than talk therapy. Key Quotes:[02:30] - "It wasn't about not drinking... it's about following up. It's about looking at the world in the eye and acting like a mature adult. And what we strive for really is emotional sobriety”[07:32] - "You can't solve a problem you can't admit exists."[07:43] - "When you're in enough pain, that's when the change can occur because we don't like change as human beings."[08:15] - “When I'm stressed out, angry, resentful, fearful, you know, what I find is usually that the world changed, and I didn't change along with it."[13:47] - “We need to really change our thinking to really grow to new levels of awareness.”[23:19] - “It may not help them at this moment. But we're planting those seeds."[28:17] - "We want to surround ourselves with success all the time, whenever possible. So I was taught to have an expert in every area of your life."[30:37] - "There's no shame in asking for help. In fact, it'll get you there faster."[32:50] - “What we need to do is focus on one goal at a time. We start knocking down each of those goals at a high level. And then all of a sudden, we start changing.”Supporting Resources:Funky Wisdom: A Practical Guide to LifeThe Funky Brain PodcastEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When a partner has a substance use disorder, there's a lot of mistrust. There's a lot of lying and hiding which damages the intimacy, connection, and faith in the relationship. Afterward, all of that has to be repaired.On today’s episode, Duane talks with international corporate attorney Chantal Jauvin about her journey to recovery as a partner of someone with a substance abuse disorder.As an international corporate attorney with expertise in trade law and financial services, Chantal has worked with Fortune 500 companies from around the world, dealing with matters from free trade zone manufacturing in Costa Rica to fast-moving consumer goods in Europe. Her work has allowed her to travel to different places including Cambodia, Russia, and Vienna.Chantal's journey of recovery started by meeting the man that she fell in love with (who eventually became her husband). Soon, she found out about his dark secret: he was a functional alcoholic. She was not aware that he was struggling with a disease or that he was hiding it. She was initially in denial of his addiction. She made excuses that just left her blindsided. Finally, they went to relationship counseling and that paved the way for her husband’s healing process.In her new book, “Love Without Martinis: How Couples Build Healthy Relationships in Recovery Based on Real Stories,” Chantal shares her wisdom about healing through the stories of real couples going through the same experience. As she says in the interview, it is the book she wished she had at the beginning of her journey of understanding and growing while loving someone who is in their own recovery. Today, she talks about her experience, how she got to this book, and how she was able to get other couples to talk about their experiences and share their wisdom of what they learned going through this experience. In this episode, you will hear: Chantal’s professional background as an attorney Her journey of recovery with her husband’s addiction problems How her husband’s changing behavior prompted her to change as well The different phases that a partner of someone with substance abuse disorder goes through The benefits of having a third party to help your partner through addiction treatment What Chantal did during the treatment and recovery process How the relationship needs to be fixed as well How she got other couples to share their own stories of addiction recovery Key Quotes:[06:19] - “I do what I think a lot of us who love someone who struggles with alcohol is, in my mind, I make a lot of excuses.”[08:08] - “When you love someone who has an addiction, all of a sudden your world closes in and all you can think of is how you're going to get them to stop drinking.”[10:24] - “I wasn't happy with my own behavior, how I was becoming so wrapped in him."[12:59] - “I was not aware that he was struggling with a disease. But I knew something wasn't right about all this alcohol.”[15:18] - “What happens when you have a third party that comes into the conversation, they're able to bring perspective and able to ask the right questions.”[17:32] - “I had to learn to let him be in charge of his own recovery, but be supportive of him." [21:33] - “In recovery, when you're in a relationship there is – I am recovering. My partner is recovering, but our relationship is recovering.”[22:38] - “It's hard to be vulnerable to someone who has not been trustworthy. So how do you re-establish that connection?”[31:52] - "The thing about addiction, we have to remember is we're not dealing with the person, we're really dealing with the disease."Supporting Resources:Love Without Martinis: How Couples Build Healthy Relationships in Recovery Based on Real StoriesEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You could be suffering from chronic stress without knowing it. Alternatively, you might know it but are just so used to it that you think it’s normal. Well, it’s not normal. You have to act on it before it takes a toll on your health and happiness.We have many different stressors in life. The human alarm is in the brain but we are wired to ignore it because we're wired for fight or flight. Humans evolved but, like other creatures, we used to live in caves or under trees. We had to know where the bears and wolves were. We had to be on guard against predators. As humans moved into cities and suburbs, most of us didn't have those worries but our brains haven't caught up. The alarm system hasn't evolved. It still sends chemicals throughout the body that lead to chronic stress. Chronic stress has various symptoms, including weight loss, weight gain, sugar cravings, salt cravings, disrupted sleep, fatigue, and muscle tension. Some people escape into alcohol, drugs, pornography, video games, work, or just about anything else to distract their brains from stress and pretend it isn’t happening. We just can’t tolerate it.On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Jennifer Love, the co-author of When Crisis Strikes: Five Steps to Heal Your Brain, Body, and Life From Chronic Stress. The book has outlined five steps to help people heal from life’s chronic stressors. If you have a crisis that comes up, you can walk through these steps. The more you do so, the better you're going to get at it and the more resilient you're going to become. Over time, you will have less stress. Jennifer is a board-certified psychiatrist in Addiction Psychiatry and Addiction Medicine and is a diplomat of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and the American Board of Addiction Medicine. She is an award-winning researcher and international speaker who focuses on stress and the brain. In this episode, you will hear: Writing the book, When Crisis Strikes and why Jennifer wrote a book about chronic stress What chronic stress is The Crisis Response System: what’s going on in the body when we’re under unconscious stress 5 steps to get you through chronic stress and become a better version of yourself How COVID has impacted chronic stress Key Quotes:[04:43] - “‘Your health doesn't freeze. Your dad's health doesn't freeze. Your divorce process or your unhappy marriage doesn't freeze. Nothing freezes in COVID except the economy."[15:16] - “We gain weight. We have disrupted sleep, or sugar cravings, salt cravings, fatigue, and muscle tension. It all comes out physically because our brains are now in survival mode.”[17:26] - “The fuel in life is stress.”[22:43] - “You can't really treat that stress when you're in the middle of it.”[27:23] - “We have to get the brain away from the alarm enough that we can focus on the things that will actually get us through the crisis until that alarm turns off.”[28:59] - “Some people escape into alcohol, drugs, pornography, video games, work. It's just anything to distract my brain from this. I need to pretend this isn't happening. I can't tolerate it.”[42:30] - “Our beliefs are firmly rooted in who we are.”[48:53] - “We still have the ability to rise. We have that within us and crisis makes us feel we do not. And hope is what teaches us that we do.”Supporting Resources:Book: https://www.amazon.com/When-Crisis-Strikes-Chronic-Stress/dp/0806540818 Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Addiction is a response to pain and trauma. Reaching out and making yourself vulnerable is challenging when you've been traumatized. You may not trust people and you may not trust the process. So what needs to be done to discharge the trauma off your body and break free from the symptoms – addiction being one of them?In this episode, Duane talks with Mike Govoni, an integrative holistic recovery coach who specializes in healing not only addiction but trauma as well. He has extensive experience in helping addicts overcome trauma and free themselves from addiction, a path that he has walked personally. Mike was traumatized in utero, which led to his early-onset illness in long-term recovery. This set him up for addiction. As a result of childhood trauma, pain, and suffering, Mike escaped through alcohol and drugs at an early age. He smoked his first joint at 11. By the time he was 18 years old, he got addicted to oxycontin – the first substance that took his soul out of him. He had always thought it was under control until he finally had to reach out for help. When he was hit with depression, his mom brought him to a 12-step meeting which was his first exposure to life in recovery. At that point, he got sober and has been for about 16 years now.Interestingly, he never knew he was suffering from unprocessed unhealed trauma. It took the universe to conspire for his awakening and for him to have a mystical experience that led to profound healing. That's what led him on the journey to what he does today.Today, Mike and Duane are going to have an in-depth conversation about trauma, early trauma, how it hides in the body, and how we can begin to process through that trauma to be able to release it, find freedom, and be our authentic selves.In this episode, you will hear: Mike’s entry into addiction and where his childhood trauma came from How addiction is related to trauma What keeps people from seeking help Why trauma starts in utero What trauma really means and how it’s been programmed in the subconscious How our nervous system can help discharge the trauma The role of others in the process of healing yourself Key Quotes:[07:18] - “Addiction is a response to pain and trauma. And reaching out and making yourself vulnerable is challenging when you've been traumatized.”[07:58] - "If you look at the work of Stanislav Grof, who is a well-known psychotherapist, he talked about birth as the first real trauma." [09:28] - "Trauma is really misunderstood. There's a lot of different definitions of trauma."[10:52] - “You can be in long-term recovery, and still be suffering from the symptoms of trauma.”[13:23] - “Many of us have traumas that we have suppressed and repressed so much that it's below consciousness.”[27:11] - “The nervous system naturally knows how to move through the cycle and discharge the trauma."[32:56] - “When you're stuck in survival mode, you don't have access to your creativity or have access to the full potential of who you are."[33:25] - “It's no wonder why people in addiction isolate and don't have access to this social engagement system. We're social primates. We are built for connection. We are built for touch.”Supporting Resources:The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You’ve probably heard of someone who’s suffered from chronic pain, gone to doctors, ran all the tests necessary, and surprisingly, none of the doctors could actually diagnose the problem. Andrew Hahn, Founder of Life Centered Therapy, joins today’s episode to explain how chronic pain, limiting beliefs, and even addictions are not physical in nature, but energetic. Hahn is a licensed clinical psychologist who received his A.B. Magna Cum Laude in Social Studies/Psychology from Harvard University and his Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology from Hahnemann University. He is certified by Helen Palmer to teach the Enneagram and has also been a faculty member in the graduate Counseling Programs at Lesley University and Northeastern University. On this episode, Andrew talks about regressions, past lives, and changing our internalized narrative. He shares how our symptoms and suffering are an invitation for awareness, integrations, and mastery of experiences that we have yet been unable to handle.Part of the conversation covers how every kind of suffering is something that couldn't be handled and taken in stride. Whether you call it chronic pain, fibromyalgia, autoimmune disease, depression, anxiety, addiction, bad relationships – it's something that couldn't be handled and integrated. Trauma is subjective. It's something that can't be handled. And so, people need to be free of their reactivity. Every symptom you have is, on the surface, awful – but on a soul level, it's a clue to what it is that couldn't be handled and integrated. That includes addiction. In order to heal, one has to master what couldn't be handled and integrated and then change his or her narrative. Once you’ve conquered that, you transcend it. Then you're not in that piece of suffering anymore. In this episode, you will hear: The beginnings of Life Centered Therapy The concept of pain and where it’s coming from Healing from pain and trauma through a shift of perspective Understanding your story of betrayal How changing your narrative leads to growth and healing The reason for chronic pain that can’t be explained even by doctors The positive emotional charge behind addiction as well as anticipatory fears Key Quotes:[11:10] - “Everything you suffer about is something that couldn't be handled and taken in stride. “[11:42] - “Trauma is subjective. It's just simply something that can't be handled.”[13:02] - "What is healing? – mastering what couldn't be handled and integrated."[14:12] - “The shift is from being identified with the one who is traumatized to identifying with the one who is holding or hosting or witnessing the one who is traumatized, which is who we really are.”[24:28] - “Every discomfort is a narrative that couldn't be handled, and anything you can't handle has an exact associated discomfort, becomes the discomfort, and the world's changed.”[26:09] - "Find what you're suffering about. Drop, whatever you think it is. Scan your body. Find the sensation. Bring all your awareness to such a degree there that you become that sensation from the inside-out."[37:30] - "The thing you think is an accident and fate, you unconsciously create without awareness because that sensation acts like a magnet."Supporting Resources:www.lifecenteredtherapy.comEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You could be raised by parents who are very nice people and they may not have any drinking or drug use issues. They could be super religious. But that doesn’t guarantee it’s going to save you from drug addiction or alcoholism. It's perfectly acceptable to ask for prayers if somebody is sick. But what happens when you do a repeated bad behavior that you can't seem to control?As children, we don’t really have the power to change our environment that has been created by adults. We have been taught to be fundamentally flawed and that we are all sinners. And sometimes, when our brains have been wired that way, it naturally brings feelings of guilt, shame, and pain – that the only way to numb those is resorting to addiction. On today’s episode, Duane talks to Arlina Allen, host of The One Day at a Time podcast and creator of the Sober Life School. Arlina Allen has been sober since 1994 after living a wild life of drugs, alcohol, and sex. Her tagline at the time was – “If it was in a bottle, a bag or blue jeans, I was doing it!” Alina had quite a rough childhood. She started seeing a shrink at age 9, drinking at age 10, and started smoking weed in junior high. Her parents got divorced when she was young, and she was sexually abused by their neighbor. Growing up, she only had two feelings: guilty and wrong – and she used addiction as her way out of pain. Eventually, this left her feeling lost, full of self-loathing, demoralized, and hopeless. Then she finally reached out to some sober friends who offered her a little bit of hope and safety to be able to look inward.Today, Arlina shares her understanding of how our own natural tendency for negativity and confirmation bias creates a painful feedback loop of continued self-loathing and continued pain, and finally, how reaching out to others can help change that process so we can unpack our baggage, see things more clearly with compassion, and begin to make the changes we want.In this episode, you will hear: How the shame spiral keeps going Understanding confirmation bias, negativity bias, and the brain’s default network What prompted her to finally make that switch to the other side How part of the AA’s 12-step program allows you to unload all of your baggage The role of community in addiction recovery Key Quotes:[07:11] - “In childhood, we develop these beliefs about who we are, it's like the subconscious mind. It's how we operate from it's like a computer's operating system. We then operate from that presupposition about who we think we are, and what we deserve, and what we're capable of. [07:36] - “Confirmation bias meaning I've made a decision about who I was and what I was worth. And then my subconscious mind then looks for information to support my belief.”[08:16] - "The default mode network is like a thermostat, where you don't get too high, and you don't get too low. We live within this comfort zone."[15:54] - “We do have a negativity bias where we're looking for the problem so that we can solve it so that we can survive. But what we don't realize is that we are forgetting about our assets. We're forgetting to focus on the thousand things that go right every day.”[21:08] - "I just didn't see a way out. I was so self-centered but incapable of self-examination."[25:45] - “The how of recovery is honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness.”[31:54] - “There is no doing this alone because our minds are compromised. And so we need an outside objective, compassionate, third-party perspective on what's going on.”Supporting Resources:Arlina’s Self-Esteem Course: https://www.selfesteemcourse.com/The One Day at a Time: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-podcast/id1453590397 Sober Life School: https://www.soberlifeschool.com/ Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Recovery is not one size fits all. It is also not a one-and-done situation. Rather, recovery is a process and a journey. When someone gets sober and begins recovery, they are just starting to walk down the path of healing. Many of their previous feelings and temptations may continue to come up. However, they are gradually learning the tools they need to stay on their new path. Shelby John is passionate about helping people who are in this stage of recovery. She is the host of the Confident Sober Women podcast and the founder of the Facebook group by the same name. Shelby particularly loves to work with women who struggle with substances by helping them control their minds and bodies and build confidence, using everything she has learned in her own recovery. In this episode, you will hear: Shelby’s mental health and addiction story. What being self-centered really means. The problem with hiding and inauthenticity in our culture. The eye-opening moment for Shelby in her alcoholism. Why we can’t fight addiction by trying harder on our own. How Shelby helps others who are walking through recovery. How trauma is relative and can lead to addiction no matter what it looks like. What generational trauma is. The link between anxiety and not understanding your core values. How to determine your values and make decisions that align with them. Key Quotes:[4:56] - “I didn't have a lot of reasons why I didn't feel comfortable within myself. I mean I had some… trauma in my childhood but not like what I viewed as to be very extreme. And so I spent a lot of time thinking, ‘What's wrong with you? Why don't you feel good enough? You have all this life... you've got this boyfriend and these parents and you go to school.’ But yet I still felt really kind of dark on the inside.”[9:15] - “I was immediately like, ‘I'm not self-centered. What are you talking about? I can't stand myself.’ And what I came to learn, was taught that self-centeredness isn't what I think about myself but how often. And I learned that I thought about myself all the time… When was I gonna drink, when was the next time I was going to drink, when was I going to act out in this way, when was I going to have to lie, when was I gonna have to lie about the lie?”[18:57] - “There was a lot of things that didn't happen to me. I've never had a DUI. I've never been in trouble other than that… My marriage stayed intact. I have three beautiful teenagers… As I was told early on, when I started working through some step work... you know, my list of transgressions or whatever might not have been that long, but it's… still pretty big, what was on there. So I needed that, I needed that powerful statement right in my face for me to kind of get it because I was a little stubborn and it was helpful. And it's helpful for me to look back to remind myself where I came from.”[31:31] - “A lot of people don't reach out for help because they feel like they shouldn't have problems, like, they feel like they shouldn't be anxious or they shouldn't be depressed and they judge themselves and then all that shame comes up. And then they don't reach out for help and they don't get support and they have to turn to these isolative ways to cope: alcohol, drugs, sex… gambling, whatever it is to try and just numb that out, get that away.”[35:20] - “Our backgrounds or our upbringings or our situations, maybe even your stress… it doesn't excuse you lashing out at your child and acting a fool, but it sure does help explain it.”Supporting Resources:NovusMindfulLife.comShelby’s websiteConfident Sober Women Facebook groupConfident Sober Women podcastEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. That cliche is true even (and sometimes especially) when dealing with addiction.Today’s guest is a prime example. David Poses is the author of The Weight of Air: A Story About the Lies of Addiction and the Truth of Recovery. In this memoir, David covers his heroin addiction and how he used buprenorphine to help him overcome it. Throughout the show, David is sharing about the struggles he encountered when trying to find treatment. Many methods that were common at the time weren’t working for him until he finally found a doctor that would prescribe him buprenorphine. That is what saved his life from heroin. Based on his experience, David has amazing insight into addiction treatment and some of the real issues surrounding how it is viewed today. Tune in to hear it all.In this episode, you will hear: How David’s struggle with depression led him to seek out heroin. One of the biggest misunderstandings of mental health. Why we need to find the recovery method that works for us. The unique way opioids affect our brains. When heroin started becoming problematic for David. How he started looking at alternative treatments. What methadone is. David’s journey through meeting his wife, having their daughter, and relapsing. How buprenorphine saved his life. Why addiction isn’t the real problem but what leads people to self-medicate is. Key Quotes:[5:36] - “If you sprained your ankle and it's all kind of sympathy and we know that, you know, you're not going to be able to will that pain away or snap out of it, you know, you go to the hospital and get the crutches and whatever. With emotional pain, you know, people tell you, you know, “Calm down, snap out of it, don't you want to be happy?” That doesn't matter. I mean, that kind of stuff just made me feel so much worse.” [13:23] - “I'm a big supporter of 12 step groups because they offer support and community. But I also understand that it, you know, addiction, disease, our physical bodies, our brain, our neurobiology is complex and we don't understand everything, but having a support community, I think can be really crucial for healing. But at the same time, it has its limitations… There's a lot of options out there and there's a lot of ways to get sober and there's a lot of ways to get recovery, or even if sobriety, as they say, is not your purpose, you have to find what works for you.”[18:33] - “I hated the lying. I hated the nonstop risks. I hated not knowing what I was doing.”[24:14] - “Yeah, I was ashamed. And... addiction has been so siloed off away from, you know, medicine for so long. That, you know, even with doctors, even today, like I tell a doctor that you know, I have a history of whatever and, you know, they assume that like I'm in there looking for drugs.”[28:35] - “So Ruby and I walked to the drugstore and picked up the refill and we're on our way home. And I just knew that this was not gonna end well. And we got back home and I brought her up to the bathroom with me and I opened the Percocet and I just was like looking at her and I flushed them.”[33:57] - “The idea that craving is, you know, we're not talking about ice cream here. So it was like, your foot’s chopped off, you're craving morphine, you're drowning underwater, you're craving oxygen. So, you know, it's that kind of craving.”[42:04] - “If you're at a point in your life where you're, you know, sticking needles in your arm, like, something's not right. Addiction is not the problem. You know, addiction is definitely a problem. But like, we're self-medicating, drugs are a form of self-medication.”   Supporting Resources:NovusMindfulLife.comDavid’s websiteThe Weight of AirDavid on TwitterDavid on InstagramDavid on FacebookEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.