Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode, I answer a question from Gaer in the UK about her two adopted sons, ages 3 and 9, who are both starting play therapy to help with anxiety and emotional dysregulation. Gaer's youngest in particular has been acting out physically when upset. I explain that it's common for siblings, especially of the same sex, to take on "internalizer" and "externalizer" roles when it comes to expressing emotions. The older son is likely internalizing his feelings while the younger is externalizing through aggressive behaviors. Neither is healthy, as both boys lack the emotional vocabulary and coping skills to handle their big feelings. To address this, I recommend Gaer start using my "four pillars" of play therapy parenting, beginning with reflecting the boys' feelings to build their emotional intelligence. Setting limits is also key for the 3-year-old's aggressive behaviors. Consequences should be consistently enforced. Throughout this process, Gaer needs to be a "thermostat" - staying calm and regulated herself in order to model emotional control for her sons. I'm so glad Gaer's family is embarking on a play therapy journey. With commitment and the right tools, I believe they will see hugely positive impacts. I'm grateful to Gaer for her question and willingness to share her story. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I talk about how the relationship with your child is the most important thing, even more important than the specific parenting skills and techniques we've been discussing. While learning and applying skills like reflecting feelings, setting limits, giving choices, and using encouragement are certainly valuable, we can't lose sight of why we use those approaches in the first place. It all comes back to preserving and strengthening our relationship with our kids. Every time a child is struggling or misbehaving, there is almost always a fracture or damage to the relationship that has occurred. By focusing on the child and the relationship rather than just on the frustrating behavior, we keep that relationship at the center. The beauty of parenting is we have a built-in relationship with our child from the very beginning. Our job is to maintain and nurture that precious bond, and child-centered parenting principles give us effective tools to do just that. The goal is not to robotically check skills off a list, but to deeply, intentionally and thoughtfully engage with our children in ways that communicate "I'm here, I hear you, I understand, I care, and I delight in you." This is what it means to take a kind approach to parenting. I hope this discussion encourages you and keeps you grounded in what matters most - your relationship with your kids. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In today's episode, I discuss the importance of encouragement and how it differs from praise when it comes to parenting. Encouragement is all about focusing on your child's efforts and contributions, rather than giving value-laden words that have opposites, like "good" or "awesome." When you encourage your child by starting with "you" and acknowledging their perseverance, problem-solving skills, or willingness to take on challenges, you help them develop a healthy self-concept and sense of identity. This empowers them and reduces power struggles, as they feel a measure of control over their circumstances. I encourage you to challenge yourself this week to use encouragement every time your child does something, as they will provide you with plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the day. Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

Exploring the debate between gentle parenting and child-centered play therapy parenting, the podcast discusses the importance of setting boundaries and limits while maintaining a strong parent-child relationship. It highlights the effectiveness of the child-centered approach in fostering self-control and responsibility, advocating for a balance between kindness and firm expectations. By focusing on the four pillars of play therapy, parents can respond appropriately to their child's emotions while establishing clear boundaries and expectations.

Discover practical strategies for implementing limit setting in everyday parenting, from managing snack times to sibling conflicts. Learn how to empower children with choices while maintaining boundaries. Explore the importance of consistent follow-through with limits and how it fosters self-responsibility in kids. Join the journey of practicing limit setting together!

Learn how to empower kids through choice-giving in parenting, reducing power struggles. Two types of choices: empowerment choices for control and enforcement choices for reinforcing limits. Giving choices builds self-confidence and decision-making skills, minimizing conflicts. Use clear language and the word 'choose' to boost children's confidence and self-esteem.

Explore the practical aspects of Reflecting Feelings with children at home, including step-by-step guidance on how to accurately reflect emotions. Learn how consistent practice of this skill can strengthen the parent-child connection and enhance emotional development. Challenge yourself to apply the Reflecting Feelings skill in various scenarios, from positive to negative emotions, for a more empathetic parent-child relationship.

Exploring young children's body image concerns, anxiety-related behaviors, and emotional struggles in a child-centered approach. Addressing underlying emotional needs, fostering self-esteem, and building resilience through play therapy parenting strategies.

Delve into the power of encouragement over praise in nurturing a child's self-esteem and motivation. Learn how the shift in language from praise to encouragement can empower children to celebrate efforts and embrace challenges. Explore the transformation in interactions and behavior when children are encouraged to believe in themselves.

Hayley, a listener from Australia, seeks advice on handling sibling conflict. The host emphasizes the use of neutral phrasing, understanding birth order dynamics, providing alternative choices for behavior, and keeping interventions brief. The episode underscores the complexities of parenting and the importance of responding to children's needs effectively.