Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

For this episode, I sat down with Simone Davies, a Montessori educator who runs Jacaranda Tree Montessori in Amsterdam and founder of the online home The Montessori Notebook, which helps people apply Montessori principles in daily live through free articles, downloads, and e-courses. I love Simone’s perspective on education, parenting, and positive discipline, and I wanted to share her insight with listeners.We talk about a number of different issues during our conversation, but the primary focus was on handling emotionally charged and difficult situations with our children, including when our child is having a tough time in public and all eyes are on us to respond “appropriately.” We talk about how difficult it is to stay emotionally detached and not let our own angry or frustrated energy add further fuel to the situation, and Simone shares some useful strategies for staying (mostly) calm and cool.Simone Davies has over 10 years experience as an AMI-qualified Montessori teacher, working with both young children and their parents. Simone is a parent educator, runs Jacaranda Tree Montessori, a Montessori playground in Amsterdam for babies, toddies and preschoolers, and is the founder of The Montessori Notebook.  Things you’ll learn from this episode What the Montessori philosophy entails Specific strategies for not absorbing your child’s energy during difficult moments and diffusing the situation instead An approach for handling public meltdowns How to practice empathy with a child The value in getting comfortable with big emotions Why making amends and taking responsibility works better than punishments How our thoughts about a child’s behavior can worsen a situation  Resources mentioned about how to be a calm parent The Montessori Notebook Simone’s e-course Setting Up Your Home Montessori Style Jacaranda Tree Montessori The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, by Ross W. Greene TiLT Parenting Podcast episode featuring Margaret Webb (Finding Peace in Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect When You Were Expecting) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’ve been getting requests from people coming to TiLT and joining the community who want to learn more about me and my story behind creating TiLT—why I developed it, what my vision is, and what I hope TiLT will do in the world. I’m also getting lots of questions about things like why we use the language we use (ie: “difference” rather than “disorder”), how Asher feels about what I’m creating and being a participant in the podcast, and what the plans are for TiLT in the future.It was suggested to me that it might make sense to do a podcast with me as the guest so I can answer these questions and others like them in more detail. So rather than have me go on for a half-hour all by my lonesome, I enlisted the help of my dear friend, Gia Duke, to be my interviewer. Gia is one of the most inspirational, positive, and lovely people I know, so I’m happy to be able to introduce you to her in this interview as well!Gia Duke is a Heart-ist, life coach, cheerleader, night owl, entrepreneur, super love girl. Gia works with big-hearted men and women with a go get ‘em attitude who want to get clear on what matters most and shows them how to generate the guts to go straight after it. Think: No Regrets meets Daring Action. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: What I did in my career and life before creating TiLT What my big WHY is for creating TiLT and how I went about developing its philosophy What Asher thinks about TiLT and his role as a regular podcast guest / technical consultant / partner What I envision for TiLT in the future Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special kid’s POV edition, I share a short conversation I had with my 11-year-old Asher about being an easily frustrated child. Being easily frustrated is an issue many differently wired kids deal with on a regular basis, and it can lead to challenging situations in the classroom and at home. It’s also a tough one for many parents to know how to handle because frustrations can often seem to come from what we might be perceive to be an overreaction to something. Therefore, it can be harder for us to empathize and support our child through the frustration.I’ll definitely be exploring the issue of frustration in more depth on future episodes, but for this episode, Asher and I examine what happened on a day when he made a mistake on an art project. Because he didn’t have a big reaction to something that in the past would have really disrupted his whole experience, I wanted to find out how he processed the frustration without having an explosion.Debbie Reber is the founder of TiLT Parenting and the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast. Asher is Debbie’s 11-year-old child and is regularly featured on the podcast. Find out more about Debbie and Asher by visiting the About Page.Things you’ll learn from this episode What frustration feels like from a kid’s POV Why a child’s frustration can actually be an opportunity to practice having healthier emotional responses A resource we’ve tapped into to learn some in-the-moment frustration strategies Resources mentioned about being an easily frustrated child What to Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Problems with Anger by Dawn HuebnerSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode of the TILT Parenting Podcast features a conversation with behavior and education consultant, Julie George. I heard Julie speak at a lecture on emotional regulation at the University of Washington many years ago and immediately knew I wanted her to work with my son, Asher. She is an expert on all things emotional regulation and executive functioning, and her approach for supporting kids in strengthening their skills in both these areas is powerful and successful.For this episode, I ask Julie to share her insights specifically on executive functioning—what it is, why it matters, how deficits in it can impact differently-wired kids, and how we can help our kids develop these skills. Nearly all differently-wired children struggle with some aspect of executive functioning, and Julie’s insights will give you ideas for supporting your child that you can begin implementing right away. We also spend a little time at the beginning of our conversation talking about the unique way girls on the autism spectrum present and why it’s not as easily recognized.Julie George, M.Ed, BCBA, is a behavior and educational consultant. She received her master’s degree in elementary education from Northern Arizona University in 2006. She provides ABA therapy to adolescents with high functioning autism (ages 10-18) in the areas of social skills, executive functioning and emotion regulation in her private practice in Seattle. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: What exactly executive functioning is and why it’s so critical The age at which executive functioning deficits start to negatively impact differently-wired kids Why middle school is a particularly challenging time for kids with executive functioning deficits How to build up support at home for strengthening executive functioning skills in a way that respects their personal developmental timeline Why twice-exceptional (2e) kids aren’t developing their executive functioning at the same rate as their peers The 4 steps to supporting executive functioning development in kids  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Julie George: Email julie.george@outlook.com and telephone: 206-941-4667 The University of Washington Autism Center Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey Smart But Scattered: The Revolutionary “Executive Skills” Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, I sit down with Kate Berger, a child and adolescent psychologist, Mindfulness instructor, and owner of the Netherlands-based therapy practice, Expat Kids’ Club, for a conversation about the benefits of mindfulness in kids and ideas for how to begin weaving mindfulness into our families’ lives.Kate is heavily engaged in the movement to bring mindfulness into schools and other children’s communities, and is a big believer in the benefits of mindfulness in kids, especially with regards to emotional and mental well-being, both in school and in their inner lives. Kate Berger, MSc is a child and adolescent psychologist, consultant, and the founder of The Expat Kids Club which has provided counsel to hundreds of youngsters and, their families, as well as major corporations, from the U.K., Germany, Singapore, and the U.S. Kate is also the Co-Chair & Co-Founder of the Families In Global Transition affiliate in The Netherlands, and is a dedicated mindfulness meditation practitioner and certified instructor who teaches mindfulness to young people through the collaborative Mindfulness International. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: What mindfulness actually is Why developing a mindfulness practice is a natural fit for children How mindfulness can specifically benefit differently-wired kids How mindfulness can support a parent in especially intense or difficult moments Tips and ideas for introducing, encouraging, and supporting a mindfulness practice in your family  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Kate Berger’s practice The Expat Kids’ Club Mindfulness in Schools Project Mindful Schools MindUP Foundation Sitting Still Like a Frog (book) Headspace mindfulness app (iTunes) “When Mindfulness Meets the Classroom” (The Atlantic Article) Free mindfulness course through Future Learn Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is the first of a new regular feature of the TiLT Parenting Podcast—a special kid’s POV edition. Every few weeks, I’ll be sharing a conversation with my 11-year-old child Asher, in which we discuss an issue that’s particularly relevant to families with differently-wired kids. Asher hopes that by sharing his perspective on the kinds of things we as parents can struggle to navigate, moms and dads everywhere will better understand what’s happening with their child, as well as gain new inspiration for moving through tough situations in a way that best serves everyone involved.In this episode, we tackle what ADHD feels like, and specifically the issue of DISTRACTION, something that has been a significant challenge for us as a family, and more recently, has become frustrating for Asher himself. In our short conversation, Asher shares what the experience of getting distracted actually feels like for him, as well as how frustrating getting distracted can actually be. We also discuss some of the strategies we’re using to help Asher stay on-task as we work to develop his focusing muscles.Debbie Reber is the founder of TiLT and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. 11-year-old Asher is Debbie’s son and is regularly featured on the podcast. Things you’ll learn from this episode Asher’s thoughts on what ADHD actually feels like, including what it’s like to always be distracted Why it’s frustrating for the kids themselves to get distracted What might motivate a child to work on staying focused The strategy we’re using to help Asher stay focused and on-task while using his screen time Resources mentioned for Asher’s perspective on what ADHD feels like Download a PDF of Asher’s Original Personal Goal Planner Download a PDF of Asher’s Screen Time Planning Worksheet Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m sharing with you my go-to expert on raising differently-wired kids—my friend + educational / curriculum advisor, Alison Bower. Alison has been supporting, guiding, and advising me on all things Asher since he was a little guy, and her understanding of how children experience the world, ability to be frank and gentle at the same time, and warmth and sense of humor, has literally gotten me through some of the trickiest times in my life as a parent.It was hard to narrow down what to focus on for this first conversation, but we ultimately decided to talk about how to navigate the tricky situations (yet common for parents raising differently-wired kids) that arise when it becomes clear that a school may not be the best fit for a child and/or that the way a school is supporting a child isn’t adequately meeting their needs. For many parents of atypical kids, school fit is a major issue, and often an incredibly frustrating one, as there is no manual for how to best navigate through it, let alone advocate for one’s child in a way that is best for everyone concerned.For this episode, Alison brings her unique perspective as both an educator and a parent who’s been in our shoes, to share what it looks like from both sides of the equation.Alison Bower is the professional development and communications manager for the ed tech startup, Enlearn, as well as a parenting, relocation, and educational consultant and parent educator through her own company, Alison Bower Consulting. Alison has more than 16 years experience in teaching, administration, curricular planning, management, and professional development for early childhood, elementary and middle schools. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: What it means when a school says “We’re not sure this is the best fit for your child” How and what to ask for in terms of accommodations and support for your child What parents can expect in navigating school fit challenges, both in private and public schools What a school’s responsibility is when there’s a question of appropriate fit for a student Things to consider when looking at school options for a differently-wired child How much parents should disclose about their child when applying to schools  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Positive Discipline The Giddens School  Enlearn Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tilt Parenting is the first podcast for parents raising differently wired children — learning disabilities, ADHD, autism, gifted, twice-exceptional, and more — and features transformational interviews and conversations between Tilt founder Debbie Reber and authors, parenting experts, educators, and other parents, from a neurodivergent-affirming lens. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this premiere episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, I’m thrilled to share with you a conversation with Margaret Webb. Margaret is a Martha Beck certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, and former teacher. She’s also the mother of a 12-year-old differently-wired son, and has spent many years helping other parents on unexpected journeys find more joy and peace in their parenting experience.Margaret believes that while many of us as parents are busy trying to meet our child’s unique needs, we’re often neglecting our own. In our conversation, she shares her ideas for how parents can shift this dynamic in a way that results in a more peaceful, more rewarding experience all around. The bonus? Our kids reap the biggest benefits. Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs.THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: How to feel empowered as a parent so you can be proactively peacefully instead of reactive What the process of letting go of the expectations we have of ourselves and who our children “should” be looks like How the energy we bring to the table can either positively or negatively impact day-to-day challenges The benefits of community support for parents raising differently-wired kids What is at the root of much of the frustration we as parents experience The simple act with huge benefits: deep breaths How taking care of ourselves in rough moments is great modeling for our kids  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Margaret Webb Life Coach Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting Online Course Martha Beck Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices