Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Melissa Neff, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Missoula, MT in the United States who specializes in conducting psychological evaluations with children (ages 6-18) and adults. A lot of Melissa’s practice focuses on helping parents figure out what’s going on with their children and diagnosing things like ADHD and autism, although she shared with me that one of her favorite aspects of her practice lately is working with girls who are on the spectrum.There are so many things I could have talked about with Melissa, but for today’s episode, we focused our conversation on the diagnostic process—what it involves and when and how parents can take the steps they need to pursue a diagnosis—as well as the pros and cons of getting a diagnoses, and more specifically, of having one or more labels attached to a child, both in their educational journey, as well as their lives as they grow into adults.  Melissa Neff, Ph.D received her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2008 from the University of Montana following the completion of an APA-approved pre-doctoral internship at Spokane Mental in Spokane, WA. She has extensive training in working with children and adults of all ages. Her areas of specialty are the diagnostic evaluation of psychological disorders and the assessment and treatment of trauma. Dr. Neff also has extensive experience in testing for ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and anxiety disorders. She utilizes a strengths-based approach in her work in an attempt to foster resilience, preferring a team-centered approach to assessment and intervention. Things you’ll learn from this episode The typical / “best” ages for kids to be assessed What some of the early signs are that a child might be on the autism spectrum How subjective is the process of assessing / diagnosing a child? What makes a “good diagnosis?” Why the current diagnostic process isn’t catching everyone, especially girls (for both autism and ADHD) The value of a diagnosis or label—pros and cons Tips for navigating the process of getting a diagnosis Resources mentioned for the assessment process for kids Dr. Melissa Neff’s website A Conversation with Julie George About Girls on the Autism Spectrum ADHD is Different for Women Decades of Failing to Recognize ADHD in Girls Has Created a Lost Generation of Women  Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity  Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A special kid's POV episode, where Asher and I talk all about that rite of passage for millions of children around the world—sleep away camp. This summer, Asher is going to a sleep away camp for the second time in his life. The first time was two years ago, when he went to a very traditional outdoorsy camp with his best friend in the Pacific Northwest. All things considered, that experience went pretty well, and we learned a few things about what can be hard about camp and what kind of situations might be challenging for Asher (and for many differently-wired kids).This year, we’re going to give it another try, this time at Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama, something Asher is, shall we say, INCREDIBLY excited about. And at the same time, when we first signed him up, Asher recognized there would be situations at Space Camp that could potentially be especially tough for him. As you’ll hear, Asher came to me and asked to work with a therapist / coach to help him figure out strategies for navigating tricky situations that might come up.So, that’s what we’re going to talk about today…the different strategies we’ve used to help Asher get prepared for sleep away camp, as well as Asher’s own revelations about what he thinks will help him have a positive experience, even if and when things come up that push him mentally and emotionally.Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. Asher is Debbie’s son and is regularly featured on the podcast. Things you'll learn from this episode: How Debbie and Asher prepped for the kinds of situations that might come up at sleep away camp Asher’s new strategy for getting “un-angry” How Maslov’s Hierachy of Needs has helped Asher learn more about his own emotional responses  Resources Mentioned: Camp Orkila  Space Camp Kate Berger on What Mindfulness Can Do for Kids and How to Get Started (podcast) Asher Talks with David Flink, a Social Movement Leader on the Front Lines of the Learning Differences Movement (podcast) Julie George on the Role of Executive Functioning in Differently-Wired Kids (podcast) Eye to Eye National Kerbal Space Program The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jill Goetz, owner and Early Child Education Specialist at Savvy Parents Safe Kids, walks us through how to have conversations around safety, consent, personal advocacy, and intuition, with our differently-wired kids.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode features a conversation with Giselle Marzo Segura, a designer, teacher, mentor, writer and solutions thinker based in Miami, Florida, who is also the parent of a differently-wired daughter. As a result of her journey with her daughter, Giselle was moved to create a venture called Strength Clusters, which is all about helping people understand and connect with each other through the language of character strengths. I’ll let Giselle tell you her whole story, because it’s very inspiring and personal, but for now, I’ll let you know that we’re going to be talking about his idea of why current systems aimed at supporting differently-wired kids do so by focusing on the deficits. We’ll also get into how truly transformational it can be, not just for the child but for the whole family, when we flip that on its head and focus on an individual’s strengths.THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: The cost of not allowing differently-wired kids to hang out in their areas of strength for large chunks of the day Why Giselle believes differently-wired kids need the opportunity to express what’s inside of them What the language of positive psychology and character strengths is What happens when the whole family views each other through the lens of character strengths and is on the same page The magic of looking at a child as a whole person That there are other types of learning beyond cognitive learning, such as learning through the body and emotions  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Strength Clusters (Giselle’s website) Character Strenths are Virtues: A Handbook and Classification by Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson Via Character Strengths Survey Brene Brown’s website The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown Pamela Slim’s website Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Debbie and her husband Derin have an honest, open, and vulnerable conversation about their (up and down) journey as a couple navigating parenting a differently-wired child.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode, I’m talking with Dr. Devon MacEachron, a clinician, researcher, author, and speaker who specializes in assessing and supporting twice-exceptional, or 2e, learners. As she’ll explain in our conversation, Devon actually went back to school to get her PhD as part of her own journey in supporting her own differently wired, 2e children. Since then, she’s founded a private psychology practice in New York City where she meets the psychoeducational, assessment, and education planning needs of the families of bright learners. Her mission is to help position these awesome students to achieve their goals and dreams, and to help parents feel confident their doing their best for their children. And that’s what we get into in this episode.As a specialist in twice-exceptional and gifted learners, dyslexia, ADHD, Asperger’s, and academic motivation with a positive psychology focus on strengths and interests, Dr. Devon is an expert diagnostician who provides an actionable game-plan to families enabling students to achieve their highest potential. Things you’ll learn from this episode How 2e or “twice exceptional” is defined How parents can recognize when something is “off” with their child or they suspect they may be 2e Why it’s important to look at a child’s behavior and their environment when doing a neurological assessment What the optimal age is for an assessment to determine if a child is twice exceptional Why there usually isn’t a good school option for kids who are 2e How parents can best support their twice-exceptional children, even if they are in a traditional school setting  Resources mentioned for supporting 2e learners Dr. Devon MacEachron’s website Cattell-Horn-Carroll Theory of Intelligence Bright Not Broken: Gifted Kids, ADHD, and Autism by Diane M. Kennedy and Rebecca S. Banks The Mislabeled Child: Looking Beyond Behavior to Find the True Source and Solutions for Children’s Learning Challenges by Brock Eide Different Minds: Gifted Children with ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome, and Other Learning Deficits by Deirdre V. Lovecky Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special anniversary episode, Debbie and her 12-year-old son Asher reflect on what's happened since first launching TiLT Parenting, take listeners behind the scenes of the podcast, and share what's coming up for TiLT in the coming year.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this episode about ADHD and nutrition, I spoke with one of America’s leading experts in the field of childhood nutrition, Jill Castle. Jill is a registered dietician / nutritionist with over twenty-five years of experience working with babies, toddlers, children, and teens, in a variety of settings from private practice and consulting to author and writer. Her specialty is taking the current research in pediatric nutrition and shaping it into practical, sane advice for parents and healthcare providers. Jill writes the blog, “Just the Right Bite” and hosts a childhood nutrition podcast called The Nourished Child. In today’s conversation, Jill shares her insights about what we know about the relationship between ADHD and nutrition, the impact of nutritional deficiencies in kids, and how to not get overwhelmed at the thought of making changes in your family and, more specifically, your child’s diet. She also shares some great tips for how to get started in making small changes that can have a big impact. Jill truly is an expert in her field, and I learned a lot in this conversation. I hope you enjoy it!  Jill Castle is a registered dietitian/nutritionist and a childhood nutrition expert. With over 25 years of experience with babies, toddlers, children and teens, in a variety of settings from private practice and consulting to author and writer, and as a mother of 4, Jill is sought after as one of America’s leading experts in the field of childhood nutrition.Things you’ll learn from this episode  What the current research says about ADHD and nutrition The common types of nutritional challenges and deficiencies faced by kids with ADHD How to address nutritional concerns with your child without getting overwhelmed Thoughts on dealing with shame or guilt surrounding a child’s nutritional habits Whether or not good nutrition can be a substitute for medication when it comes to treating a child with ADHD Tips for making small, positive nutritional changes in your home and with your ADHD child How we can get our kids invested in their own nutritional well-being  Resources mentioned for ADHD and Nutrition in Kids Jill Castle’s website Jill’s podcast: The Nourished Child Jill’s books Jill’s Blog Post: A Healthy ADHD Diet for Kids Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode is a Kid’s POV Special episode featuring another conversation with 12-year-old Asher. Our topic? Conflict. More specifically, handling parent-child conflict between the two of us. We’re tackling this topic because I’ve been getting questions from listeners who want to know a) if we even have conflicts at all and b) if so, how we handle them.The easy answer to the first part of that question is DEFINITELY. We DEFINITELY have conflict. I’m very human in that way, as is Asher. Today, we’ll spend the episode answering the second part of that question. We’ll talk about the kinds of things that crop up and cause conflict between us, and then we’ll share with you what that actually looks like in our world—what I do, what Ash does, and most importantly, how we move through and past it.Pro tip: This is a good episode for co-listening! When Asher and I listen to podcasts, we dump a puzzle out on the dining room table and listen while building the puzzle. It makes for a nice combination! About Debbie & AsherDebbie Reber is the founder and CEO of Tilt Parenting and the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast. 12-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast. Find out more by visiting the About Page. Things you’ll learn from this episode The benefits of talking through and getting clear on expectations (for all members of the family) prior to leaving for a vacation A strategy for using the collaborative problem solving approach to identify, address, and pre-solve concerns ahead of time How to make departure day go more smoothly The benefits of exploring and researching aspects of a vacation time well in advance of the trip (including accommodations, activities, etc.) A strategy for using written schedules coupled with frequent reviews during a vacation keeps everyone’s expectations in check The benefits of bringing a child into the planning process (and letting them determine some of what will happen on vacation) Why it’s useful to work with your child to discover what they need most on vacation and then incorporating it into your daily plan (ie: rest, chill time, etc.)  Resources mentioned for handling parent-child conflict Download a PDF of our Family Goals Worksheet Download a PDF of our Vacation Concerns Worksheet Download a PDF of our Daily Vacation Planner Worksheet Look at our Departure Plan whiteboard Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ever considered homeschooling your gifted children? My guest, educator, author, and blogger Celi Trepanier, became a passionate advocate for gifted children after tiring of her battles with schools and their misunderstanding of how to support gifted children. A teacher who has taught in both public and private schools, Celi is the author of the book Educating Your Gifted Child: How One Public School Teacher Embraced Homeschooling, a parent group facilitator for the organization SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted), and keeps a blog at Crushing Tall Poppies.In our conversation, we talk about why many schools, even sometimes those designed specifically to cater to gifted children, aren’t able to support these unique learners, and Celi shares why she believes homeschooling gifted children is such a great option if it’s something that is possible for families, as well as gives us her advice for how to get started.Celi Trépanier is the author of Educating Your Gifted Child: How One Public School Teacher Embraced Homeschooling, as well as a writer, passionate advocate for gifted children, an anti-bullying proponent, MEd, former public school teacher, and a homeschooling mom.Things you’ll learn from this episode What giftedness is, as well as why there are negative stigmas attached to the label Why most public schools are failing our gifted kids Why sometimes even programs for gifted kids don’t really “get” gifted kids (they teach to kids who are “high achieving” rather than than “gifted”) Why homeschooling can be such a great fit for gifted children How parents can determine if homeschooling is a doable option for their family Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices