Tiny Leaps, Big Changes

In this episode, we look at willpower and why you struggle to accomplish your goals.  Sponsor: Head over to greenchef.com/tinyleaps80 and use the code tinyleaps80 to get $80 off your first month plus free shipping on your first box. The Problem: When we decide we want to build better habits things tend to be pretty straightforward– we are going to lose weight, stop smoking, organize our closets, and finally stop procrastinating. But by the end of the week your plastic bins for organizing are still in the trunk of your car, your new running shoes tossed in the back of the closet, and there are those cigarettes still being smoked. What happened? Digging Deeper The dictionary definition of willpower is the control exerted to do something or restrain impulses, and the ability to control one’s own actions, emotions or urges. It’s important to understand that willpower is like physical strength in that: Willpower is a mind-body response, not merely a mindset Willpower is limited (just like muscle power) Willpower is trainable (just like muscle power) According to researchers at McMaster University of Hamilton in Ontario willpower can be exhausted. Picture yourself working on, you might start out strong but by the end your last rep you find yourself struggling to do the exercise. The same thing happens to our willpower. The Solution But given how temporary that willpower can be it ends up being a bit of a double edged sword. When we see ourselves as lacking willpower and failing at our goals our self-confidence takes a hit and we start doing nothing, or we replace action with fantasy. (One day when I lose those 30 pounds…) So how can you train and strengthen your willpower to maximize its capacity? Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

In this episode, we look at how to prioritize yourself and say no to others more often. The Problem I often struggle with prioritizing myself and making decisions that I actually want. It sounds silly right? It should be easy to prioritize myself. It should feel like the simplest thing in the world to check what I want in a situation and act accordingly. But it’s not. Maybe it’s because I like avoiding conflict. And it’s not just me, many people around the world avoid conflict at all costs. Conflict is uncomfortable, it’s scary, and anything that might lead to conflict is seen as wrong. Speaking up for yourself? That’s a big no no. Saying no to a request? Wouldn’t dream of it. Changing your mind about plans with friends? That’s rude. It’s built into our culture but it comes from very deeply rooted survival mechanisms that drive us to take actions and say things that may lead to being liked or accepted. Digging Deeper We live in a world that does not reward no. We live in a world that works only if you comply with the system. As a result, in our day to day lives it can be increasingly hard to prioritize ourselves, say no to those around us, and say yes to ourselves. But it is possible to get better at this and to start pursuing the life that you really want rather than living your entire life in response and service to everyone else. While I’m no expert at this and cannot even begin to understand all of the varying situations of people listening to this podcast. I can at least share what I’m personally doing to get better at this. Hopefully you can find something in this to apply to your own situation. The Solution Get Clear on What You Want Compare Requests to Your Ideals Advocate for Yourself Choose to Compromise or Say No Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

I'll be taking the week of 8/31/202 to 9/4/2020 off from publishing new episodes. In the mean time, please enjoy this curated list of re-post content. Join Tiny Leaps Plus: http://tinyleapsplus.com Follow on Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

I'll be taking the week of 8/31/202 to 9/4/2020 off from publishing new episodes. In the mean time, please enjoy this curated list of re-post content. Join Tiny Leaps Plus: http://tinyleapsplus.com Follow on Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

I'll be taking the week of 8/31/202 to 9/4/2020 off from publishing new episodes. In the mean time, please enjoy this curated list of re-post content. Join Tiny Leaps Plus: http://tinyleapsplus.com Follow on Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

I'll be taking the week of 8/31/202 to 9/4/2020 off from publishing new episodes. In the mean time, please enjoy this curated list of re-post content. Join Tiny Leaps Plus: http://tinyleapsplus.com Follow on Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

I'll be taking the week of 8/31/202 to 9/4/2020 off from publishing new episodes. In the mean time, please enjoy this curated list of re-post content. Join Tiny Leaps Plus: http://tinyleapsplus.com Follow on Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

In this episode, we look at three tiny yet effective ways to practice self-love, even when you’re busy and exhausted. Inner Monkey: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/inner-monkey/id1440076093 The Problem How do you practice self-love? How do you learn to love yourself? And, when you are incredibly busy or tired or frustrated, how do you continue to fit it in? Digging Deeper Self-love is defined as a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. Now of course this idea can be taken too far. There is no end to narcissistic individuals who believe their priority of self at the expense of others is a good thing. But self-love is inherently a good thing. If we look at that definition, a regard for one’s own well being and happiness, it simplifies things. In order to practice self-love we simply need to start paying attention to the things that affect our well-being and happiness. The Solution Get More and Better Sleep Getting more sleep is one of the first things you can do for yourself that can produce the biggest results. With lack of sleep comes lack of patience, an inability to focus, and a number of other negatives that can bleed into the rest of your life. By getting just 20-30 minutes more of good quality sleep you can improve your overall quality of life significantly and position yourself to accomplish more each day. Eat Happier We often set eating healthier as a goal we want to work towards. We may do this because we want to lose weight or for any number of other reasons but it is one of the more common goals out there. With that said, eating happier on it’s own can also be an amazing way to practice self-love. Think about how you feel when you eat poorly. Maybe you get a stomach ache. Maybe you feel disappointed in yourself for breaking you goal. But when you focus on eating happy you give yourself permission to eat some of those “less healthy” foods while also giving yourself permission to eat the things that are healthy. It's the best of both worlds. Start Your Day for Yourself or End it With Yourself I’ve talked about this before and I want to reiterate it here. Making time for yourself is critical to your own growth and development. And without your growth and progress you won’t be able to truly serve everyone else around you. It can be tough to find the time during the day to prioritize your own issues. Between work, school, your family, your friends, your health and other things taking time for yourself and your mental health can often be pushed to the back. This tip is about starting your day for you. Wake up 10 minutes earlier and be with yourself, by yourself. Do a meditation, get a quick stretch in, go for a walk, or do nothing. Whatever YOU want to do with no input from anyone else. If you’re struggling to get it done in the morning then try ending your day for you instead. Block off those last 10 minutes of the day or just let it happen naturally in bed. Do something that is yours and yours alone. Make the choice for yourself. That’s such a rare luxury now a days as we all live in a reactionary space but it doesn’t have to be. ‘ Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

In this episode, we look at three tiny yet effective ways to practice self-love, even when you’re busy and exhausted. Sponsor: http://blinkist.com/tinyleaps The Problem The process of growth and personal development can be both challenging and rewarding. On the one hand you realize how much power and control you truly have over the direction your life goes. You realize that all big changes come from the tiny leaps you take every day. And you realize that that means that if you can just focus on your tiny leaps each day, you can in some small way direct the outcomes you gain from this life. On the other hand, you recognize how difficult it is to actually show up each day and take those tiny leaps. You start to see how much internal work needs to go into taking external action. You face failure and pain and sacrifice and all along the way question whether or not you even know what you’re doing. Because truly you’re just making it up and everyone else knows but you’re clueless. Digging Deeper Back in episode 584 I spoke about overwhelm and the role it plays in personal development. I also spoke about how that overwhelm came from our prefrontal cortex being overstimulated. This is an obvious outcome to a culture defined by working too much, not sleeping enough, and reaching for that ever elusive holy grail of productivity. The Solution I want to encourage you to adopt a new approach to your self-help journey. Keep setting goals, keep finding your first tasks. Keep taking action. However, when you start to take that action I’d like you to focus in the beginning on just taking one tiny leap each week. Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps

In this episode, we look at why trying something once and subsequently failing at it matters so much for finding success. The Problem What if I told you that there is a real reason why you are struggling to achieve your goals? Like a real, solid reason. Not some wishy washy excuse? Well there is. It may not be the only reason, and it certainly isn’t some secret technique that you need to pay me money to learn. But there is a real reason. The reason is simple, we don’t fully understand the process of setting goals and working towards them. Digging Deeper For years the self-help industry has touted the value of setting goals. There have been hundreds of books, podcasts, youtube videos, and speeches dedicated to the topic. We’ve created frameworks and processes and systems designed to make goal-setting easier or more straightforward. I’ve been a part of this too. Because for a long time I bought into the idea that the biggest problem in goal-setting was just that the systems were broken. I thought that if we could just improve the process for people then more people would accomplish there goals. That might still be true, but improving the system does nothing if it doesn’t consider the reality of the situation that the system deals with. The Solution So here’s my advice. Try things. Try them once.  Use that initial motivation to fuel immediate action and take it. Fail at it. Let yourself go through the full process.  Doing this will allow you to get an idea of the work involved and what kind of motivation is required to sustain yourself. It will also help you understand whether or not this is a goal worth trying again.  The good news is that if you do decide to try again you’ll be approaching it with a much more balanced understanding of the effort required for that outcome. This should help reduce that burnout and keep you running much longer. Instagram: http://instagram.com/tinyleaps Resources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neuronarrative/202003/why-we-often-fail-reach-our-goals https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0166432819313889