The SelfWork Podcast

Learn how to recognize when you're hitting a wall with stress and responsibilities. Discover ways to manage exhaustion, self-doubt, and the importance of asking for help. Explore strategies for overcoming self-doubt, procrastination, and pride. Dive into the challenges of enmeshment in family relationships and the importance of setting boundaries for personal growth.

Perfectly hidden depression can end in tragedy.I don’t quite remember when Penny Gray and I first talked. It was after 2019 when PHD was published. But not long after.She’s the widow of a man, Dave, who tragically fit the rubric of perfectly hidden depression. She tells the story in this interview about how she happened upon the term "perfectly hidden depression" when she was seeking some kind of understanding about the “why” of her husband’s suicidal death. I am honored to share her story with you and could think of absolutely no better person to feature on our 400th episode.My respect for Penny is immense. She’s fighting severe kidney disease now on top of everything else, but has a passion to tell Dave's story. You’ll hear just how hard it was for her and her children as one minute, she was texting back and forth with her husband who seemed to be having a "moment" but saying he was ‘fine’, then killed himself 15 minutes after finishing a text to her."What kept you from revealing your pain?" What exactly kept Dave from revealing his pain? She’ll talk about what she’s pieced together, while at the same time, she’s still reeling from questions and emotions that she deals with every day. Her grieving family is left to try to understand, "What was so hard that you had to kill yourself?" But there’s no real answer. Just speculation. Wonder. And maybe a sense of one or two things that, with time, are becoming more clear.I’m truly honored to introduce you to Penny Gray.Click here for International Suicide HotlinesYou can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!Photo by Sebastian Palomino.   Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a fast-growing therapeutic model that I wanted you here at SelfWork to know more about. So, I reached out to Dr. Diana Hill who's an expert on the technique and a firm believer/practitioner in what it has to offer. ACT seems to offer safety and structure, which of course is vital in therapy. I found her to be very real, approachable, and caring as she explains how ACT can help you see how commitment to your core values and staying in the present are so easy to lose when you're faced with struggle. And, as we like to focus on at SelfWork, what you can do about it.Here's how she explains it: "When you are faced with life’s challenges, it’s easy to lose track of what’s important, get stuck in your thoughts and emotions, and become bogged down by day-to-day problems. Even if you’ve made a commitment to live according to your core values, the ‘real-world’ has a way of driving a wedge between you and a deeper, more meaningful life."Vital Links: Dr. Hill's recently published daily journal!Her podcast Wise EffortAdvertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!    Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Cyclothymia, compartmentalization, and Taylor Swift don't seem to have much in common.But they're sharing this episode of SelfWork! And both are in response to listeners' questions and comments!Cyclothymia is another one of those more unusual depression diagnoses (like we covered last week with PMDD) and one that doesn’t get much attention as its more dramatic cousins, Bipolar I and II. Yet it shares some of the characteristics of those cyclic disorders (hence the name cyclothymia). Dave wrote about his questions about his own diagnosis of cyclothymia and how much relief and help it brought him.For this week’s listener email, I’m going to talk to you about a song by Taylor Swift, “I can do it with a broken heart.” A listener posted it in my closed FB group saying, “this sounds like perfectly hidden depression.” But is it?Vital Links:The link to the song by Taylor Swift: " I can do it with a broken heart"Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder or or PMDD? We're going to focus today on what it is and what it's not, who suffers from it, how early can it emerge, why is it so misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or even ridiculed (which of course makes seeking treatment much harder). And, as always, what you can do about it.This episode is in response to a listener's Instagram message to me about the "monster" that emerged every month from within her. So, I’m delighted to share with you what I know and have learned about PMDD through researching what the experts have to say. And I’ll offer a few really great support links in the show notes.Our listener voicemail was hard for me to decipher – but the gist of it is that she’s describing that all she can think about is work and she feels very self-centered, with little empathy or support for others. Her pain is evident in her voice (in fact that’s probably one reason it was more difficult to understand).Vital Links:Incredible help and support with the International Association of Premenstrual DisordersYouTube video featuring sufferers of PMDDYouTube video of expert and up-to-date information about PMDDRecent studies on PMDDCosmopolitan article on PMDDWhat's happening hormonally with PMSAdvertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!  Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Marjorie Aunos' story is not one you'll forget. In one second, she went from being an able-bodied mom to a disabled one.As a clinical psychologist, Marjorie developed the first program offering support for families headed by parents with intellectual disabilities in the province of Quebec, Canada. She fought for parents with intellectual disabilities to not be judged as “incapable” because of that disability. Yet in 2012, she sustained a spinal cord Injury in a car accident. Mother to a 16-month-old at the time, the accident and injury left her with paraplegia. Dealing with her own fear, her own drive, and all the feelings in between, Marjorie tells her story of learning to mother from a wheelchair – and what she learned about life in the course of doing so.Marjorie Aunos, Ph.D. is 2021 Inspirational Speaker of the Year, an author, internationally renowned researcher, psychologist, adjunct professor at Brock University and UQTR, and a member at large of the Council of Canadians with Disabilities. She is the co-author of a book on Parenting Capacity Assessment and the author of Mom on Wheels: The Power of Purpose as a Parent with Paraplegia.Advertisers' Link:Have you been putting off getting help? It's 2024, and BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Why don't you talk about your struggle with depression?You may have lots of reasons, or excuses, or justifications. But I found out by reading the responses on (what I'm honored to say) is a viral TEDx talk, "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression", that so many of us need to know that this struggle is common - and doesn't have to be hidden.Some of those reasons are: "It came on so gradually, I didn't notice," or, "I don't trust doctors," or "I"m afraid what will happen if I talk about a mental health struggle."Today I answer the question of why you don't talk about your depression, and give you solid reasons why most of those justifications are just that... justifications. Not rational reasons. It' s not easy.... but there are so many benefits to seeking understanding and help.Vital Links:HealthLine article on common hurdles to revealing depressionAndrew Solomon’s TED talkTen traits of perfectly hidden depressionAdvertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!       Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

The podcast discusses productivity guilt and offers nine reminders to help overcome it. Topics include attaining goals, risk-taking, self-belief, asking for help, impact of relationships, growth mindset, trust issues, and aligning goals with values. The episode also delves into seeking help for emotional challenges, relationship struggles, and rebuilding trust after deceit and addiction.

Manifestation has been widely dismissed as self-involved, materialistic phooey. Now, James R. Doty, MD—a Stanford neurosurgeon, New York Times bestselling author, and Dalai Lama collaborator—reveals that manifestation is rooted in science.Throughout his latest book, Mind Magic.  Dr. Doty unveils his six-part plan for harnessing your mind’s power to change your brain structure and reclaim your agency. He grounds you in practices for neurological transformation by strategically targeting your attention, desires, obstacles, intention, passion, and expectations, so you can consciously create the life you want.In addition to his medical expertise, Dr. Doty has the lived experience of using manifestation to revamp his reality. After he went from rags to riches back to rags, Dr. Doty overhauled his thinking to focus on being spiritually and morally centered. In turn, the riches stayed for the long haul.Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!   Our Sponsors:* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Exploring the intersection of depression and feeling valued in relationships, the podcast delves into the impact of neglect on self-worth, trauma bonding in relationships, and the connection between mattering and depression. It also addresses challenging family situations involving addiction and abuse, offering support and intervention strategies for listeners dealing with similar issues.