The Covert Narcissism Podcast

In this chat with Eleanor Marks and Renee Swanson, they address somes questions brought to them in the Facebook group, Covert Narcissism Group. One member said that she is wondering about helpful things to know when dealing with an attorney who only understands the general ‘narcissist’ definition but not all the underlying behavior issues that compose a covert narcissist. This is a very tough situation, especially in today's world where courts won't even allow you to say the word 'narcissist.' That word is thrown around too much and this takes away from those who have truly suffered at the hands of a narcissist. How do we address this with our attorneys?   Another member asked about the actual leaving part, especially with kids. She asked for examples of exit plans and what the actual day or week look like. She is also "very curious of the articulate child’s reflection of splitting time between a chaotic covert narcissistic parent and a more stable parent."   This path is a very personal path with a lot of circumstances to consider. If you would like to meet individually with Renee Swanson for coaching specific to dealing with a covert narcissist and for strategies for helping your kids through this, please visit her website to schedule an individual session. CNG Life Coaching Sessions — Community n' Grace   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  Are you searching for people who get it?  Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com   Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #abuse #covertnarcissism #podcast #gaslighting #marriedtoanarcissist #narcissism   

Understanding the difference between compassion and empathy is important for anyone who is dealing with a non-empathetic person, such as a covert narcissist. Compassion and empathy are both in response to the emotions and needs of another person. Both involve some level of awareness of the other person’s needs.  By definition, compassion is the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and are motivated to relieve that suffering. Covert narcissists can have this and often do compassionate acts, especially when motivated by outside factors. When they do however, it seems to be empty and have no substance behind it.   Empathy, by definition, is the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. This is lacking with covert narcissistic people and leaves a trail of hurt, neglect and abandonment.   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  Are you searching for people who get it?  Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism  #abuse #covertnarcissism #podcast #gaslighting #marriedtoanarcissist #narcissism     

Today, we welcome Brandon Chadwick as a guest on the Covert Narcissism Podcast. Brandon has his own podcast called, The Narcissist Apocalypse Podcast. In his podcast, Brandon shares a variety of stories from survivors of narcissistic abuse. These stories are raw and unfiltered examples of dealing with this type of abuse and the effects of it. In today’s episode, you are invited to listen in on a conversation between Brandon and Renee about how they each got started on this journey. Both Brandon and Renee share a passion for helping our world in the midst of this narcissistic nightmare and there passion began in different places. We know you will enjoy hearing this conversation. Welcome Brandon!   For more information on Brandon's work, check out these links below narcissistapocalypse@gmail.com   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  Are you searching for people who get it?  Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com   Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism https://narcissistapocalypse.com/   Instagram - @narcissistapocalypse Youtube - @narcissistapocalypse264 Podcast - Narcissist Apocalypse https://lnk.to/domesticabuse

Covert narcissists are bullies as parents, and their impact on the children is traumatic and long-lasting. For those listening who were raised by a covert narcissistic parent, identifying these effects within you is vital. This allows you to start that process of no longer blaming yourself and healing that internal shame. You do matter! You are good enough! This is not your fault!   For those listening who are parenting with a covert narcissistic parent, please learn the effects this is having on your children. You will see these signs in them. They will need your help in identifying them and working through them. Your kids do matter! They are good enough! This is certainly not their fault!   3 effects of Covert Narcissistic Parenting While the child knows that perfect does not exist, it is still their goal. The child holds others around them to that same level of perfect as well. The child cannot handle criticism.   In this episode, I explore these effects in greater detail. In upcoming episodes, I will give you strategies on how to work through these effects and find healing for the trauma within.   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  Are you searching for people who get it?  Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism #abuse #covertnarcissism #podcast #gaslighting #marriedtoanarcissist #narcissism #bullying

When children have a narcissistic parent, they are being parented by a bully. They cannot possibly escape this situation. They cannot make sense out of it. They cannot reach out for help. Dealing with a bully is traumatic and harmful.   Here are three effects that narcissistic parenting, bully parenting, has on their children. While the child knows that perfect does not exist, it is still their goal. The child holds others around them to that same level of perfect as well. The child cannot handle criticism.   If you are parenting with a covert narcissistic partner, your kids are confused and hurting. But one genuine, honest, open, unconditional relationship with you is enough to help them break through that confusion. In the upcoming Sunday episode, I will explore the effects of this bullying in greater detail, as well as give you ways that you can help your kids through this difficult scenario. I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing.   #abuse #covertnarcissism #podcast #gaslighting #marriedtoanarcissist #narcissism 

Let’s say I’m a covert narcissist, and I’m looking for a partner. Who am I looking for? I believe that I am the best thing ever, that I am right all the time, that my opinion is all that matters.  So who do I need? I need someone who doubts themselves.   The best victim of gaslighting is someone who doubts themselves. One piece that makes someone quite vulnerable to gaslighting and manipulation is when their own sense of self is too reliant on the opinions of others. When we put too much weight in the belief of others to the detriment of our own belief in ourselves.  What does it look like when our self-image is reliant on other people? Who am I becomes who do people think I am. What do they think about me? Do they like to be around me? Am I helpful to them? Do they think I did a bad job? Do they think I’m too angry, too happy, too emotional, not emotional enough and so on? Turning off this deferment to other people for our own belief in ourselves is a giant step in making yourself more narcissist resilient. Your greatest ally against narcissistic abuse is yourself!   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  Are you searching for people who get it?  Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

Not only do victims of covert narcissistic abuse not see the abuse, they often join the abuser in abusing themselves. It’s the perfect storm built by this abuser in your life. Their circular conversations, projection, blame shifting, guilt manipulating, and many other tactics leave you, the victim, in complete confusion. You accept the projecting, blaming and guilting. You defend yourself but the circular conversations convince you that you are wrong. Ultimately, you decide that maybe you are the problem. You blame yourself. You make it all your fault. You do everything you can to fix it. You hold yourself to unreasonable standards and expectations. While the covert narcissist in your life sits and watches. You are brainwashed into hating yourself. You squash your own self-esteem without even realizing what is going on. The self-abuse must stop! You do deserve the help and support! You are worthy of your own love and care. I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  Are you searching for people who get it?  Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com   Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism  

In this Q&A session with Renee Swanson and Eleanor Marks, we answer two questions from the Covert Narcissism Facebook Group. How do you deal with the golden child and help them to unlearn concerning narcissistic traits without disparaging the other parent? How do you maintain a relationship with said child when also trying to protect yourself and heal from the narcissistic abuse trauma?   These are tough questions that so many people in our world are struggling with. Whether a child is used as the golden child, the scapegoat, or some combination of the two, these kids do pick up some narcissistic traits of their own. This is a protective survival reaction to not feeling emotional or psychologically safe. Even in homes without a narcissistic parent, kids will still go through phases of not feeling safe to be themselves and thus pick up some narcissistic traits. This is especially true in the teenage years.   We address these questions in this episode. Thank you to our member for the questions and to everyone who is working to make our world a better place. I wish you much peace on your journey of healing!   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  Are you searching for people who get it?  Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

f you don't tell me to do it, then it is your fault that it didn't get done. If you tell me to do it, then it is your fault if it doesn't go right. Have you ever heard these words or experienced these attitudes? Covert narcissists are SO good at dodging responsibility. I used to wonder why he wouldn’t even choose the restaurant for our dinner. Many years later, I discovered that he wouldn’t choose so that nothing could ever be his fault. Why would he not make the plans for our vacation? But yet he would be so mad at me for the plans I made. He would not make the plans so that nothing would ever be his fault. And yet he would be mad at me because everything was my fault. He didn’t help do the chores around the house because he didn’t want to do it wrong and make me mad. So he just did nothing! In his mind, then I could not be mad at him because he didn’t do anything wrong. Blame shifting is a common weapon for a covert narcissist. If you are listening to this today - stop taking the blame for their faults. Stop taking responsibility for their stuff. You are not doing them or yourself any favors. They have their life to live. They have their own to answer for. Don’t let them lay this on your shoulders anymore!!   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  Are you searching for people who get it?  Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com   Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism

We all have an immune system inside us. Its purpose is to fight harmful substances that enter the body. It builds a defense against invaders by keeping a record of every germ it has ever defeated so it can recognise and destroy the invading germ quickly if it ever enters the body again. This drastically limits the amount of harm an invader can do if they do manage to get in. In order to function properly, the immune system has to be able to tell the difference between invader cells and non-invader cells. So the system is constantly learning and evolving.   So what if we had a narcissist immune system? An adaptive system that learns about previous exposure and protects us going forward. You already have this type of system. Let's learn how to maximize its potential! It is time to build narcissist resiliency.   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  Are you searching for people who get it?  Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com   Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism