the goop podcast

Many people find it difficult to exercise self-compassion, in part because we fear that being tender with ourselves will make us lose our edge. But Kristin Neff, PhD—who wrote Self-Compassion and The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook and is steeped in the field’s research—says that couldn’t be further from the truth: “Here’s the thing with self-compassion—our goals are just as high. But when we fail to meet our goals, we’re more likely to pick ourselves up and try again.” Today, Neff explains the differences between self-esteem, self-love, and self-compassion and the distinctive ways these practices effect our daily lives. (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Each of us, in our own infinite precious particularity, will be led to what’s to be done next in our own time and space,” says Cynthia Bourgeault. The modern-day mystic and Episcopal priest is the author of several brilliant books, including Eye of the Heart: A Spiritual Journey into the Imaginal Realm. Today, she joins us to discuss a question that comes forth for many of us at some point: Are we all just irrelevant specs? Does our life actually have meaning? According to Bourgeault, while humans are not the center of everything, our actions have profound influence on the well-being of the planet (and a system that extends beyond it). She says that a lack of consciousness has led to much of the mess we’re currently in, and she explains how we all play a particular role in amending the damage. She talks through how our fear of dying is problematic (and what a different approach to death could look like), what it truly means to live virtuously, and whether or not she’s hopeful for the future. (Spoiler: Mostly, she is.) (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jay Shetty, author of the new book Think Like a Monk, is in part known as a former monk. Now, he serves as a coach, helping people identify and live out their purpose. He joined GP to talk about why many of us have never really spent time by ourselves, with ourselves—and what can happen when we do. Shetty has a different way of thinking about compassion for self and compassion for others; and it involves not devaluing or belittling pain. He also has a clarifying way of looking at the fine line between compassion and victimhood (so that we don’t get stuck in victim consciousness) and distinguishing feelings (which can be fleeting and misleading) from emotions. (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“I grew up with this intense fear of failure,” says Cathy Park Hong. “And in retrospect, I can understand why my parents instilled that in me—because for them, there was no safety net.” Hong is a writer, a professor at Rutgers-Newark University, and the author of Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning. It’s a book about family, identity, culture, and self-worth. Hong joins us today to talk about the parts of the Asian American experience that are often left out of the mainstream. She talks about how becoming a parent forced her to reckon with her own upbringing and the complicated nature of assimilation—both what it afforded her and what it stole from her. She asks: How do we go about the messy process of deciding which parts of our culture to pull forward to keep in our lives and which to put down? (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“There is so much hurt that doesn’t have to remain unhealed,” says Molly Howes, PhD. “A good apology can go the distance to lessen that pain.” Howes is a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist and the author of A Good Apology: Four Steps to Make Things Right. Many of us are bad at apologizing, which according to Howes, is not for lack of care, but because we may have a misunderstanding of what it takes to make both parties feel whole. Howes says a good apology requires listening rather than justifying, which is often easier said than done. Today, Howes walks us through the four steps of a good apology and explains how we can apply these steps personally in our own homes and more widely in our communities. (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Most of the diseases that we experience are not inevitable,” says Bruce Lanphear, MD. “They’re preventable.” Lanphear is a clinician scientist at the Child & Family Research Institute, BC Children’s Hospital, and a professor in the Faculty of Health Sciences at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver. He’s spent the majority of his career exploring how environmental factors like toxic chemicals, pollutants, and contaminants can impact our health. Today, he explains the challenges of proving causation, the ways industries dodge responsibility, and why health care policy and research funding often don’t reflect the needs and priorities of doctors and patients. (While there’s plenty of evidence showing that most diseases are preventable, the US spends only 4 percent of funding on upstream preventive measures.) Lanphear breaks down where we’re most vulnerable and what we can do about it. (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We often view moments of serendipity, or happy accidents, as situations that we play no part in and can't control or influence. But author Christian Busch, PhD, believes that luck may not always be circumstantial—and that by training ourselves to see something in the unexpected, we can make those accidents more meaningful. Which is the subject of his book, The Serendipity Mindset: The Art and Science of Creating Good Luck. Busch is the director of the Global Economy Program at New York University’s Center for Global Affairs and also teaches at the London School of Economics. Today, he joins host Elise Loehnen to discuss how we can best exercise our serendipity muscle and whether or not extroverts have a leg up in the game. (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’ve probably been fed the myth that your life will generally follow a linear path, with maybe a midlife crisis and a few other upheavals thrown in along the way. But in reality, you’ve probably experienced more big transitions, or “lifequakes,” as author Bruce Feiler calls them. For his book Life Is in the Transitions, Feiler spent a year exploring how people move through these moments. What he learned is that although the changes can be unpredictable, there are patterns to be found in how we cope with them. And with the right tools, we can navigate these transitions with meaning, purpose, and skill. Feiler joins host Elise Loehnen to talk through his different strategies for surviving a massive life change and making the most of opportunities to grow. (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Gordon Neufeld is a developmental psychologist and the author of Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. In his forty-plus years studying child development, a few common threads have emerged. According to Neufeld, parents tend to be hyperfocused on socializing their children in order for them to be well liked and have plenty of friends. This good intention can cause children to become peer-attached—meaning they look to their peers instead of the adults in their lives for guidance, care, and stability. Having close peers is important, but the peer relationship shouldn’t be the most important one, says Neufeld. His work helps parents and caretakers maintain and strengthen relationships with their children, recognize when kids are pulling away, and reverse damage that’s already been done to the bond. His approach does not require us to do everything “right”—but it could shift the way we raise and relate to children for the better. (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

GP talks with her friend Cameron Diaz about the best part of turning forty, what affects our capacity to be intimate, taking responsibility for who you are, and the launch of Avaline, Diaz’s organic wine line. Diaz explains why she pivoted away from her acting career, what happened after she decided to start over, and how she learned a surprising amount about herself in the early days of her relationship with her husband. “In my forties, I realized I need to be quicker to identify the things I shouldn’t be holding on to, and cut them loose,” says Diaz. The tail end of the conversation is about motherhood—and what Diaz most wants for her daughter. (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices