Restored: Helping Children of Divorce

Alcoholism is a major cause of dysfunction in so many families. That was certainly true for our guest’s family. In this episode, she shares how alcoholism played a pivotal role in the breakdown of her parents’ marriage and family. We also discuss:Why she kept a packed bag that was always ready to go under her bed at collegeWhat she’d say to her parents if they were listening to this episodeHow she truly desires a good relationship with her parents, especially her estranged fatherShare Your StoryBuy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)Shownotes

Dr. Andrew Swafford came from a dysfunctional family, even though his parents never got divorced. As a result, he questioned: “Can I be a good husband and father? Or am I destined to repeat the cycle of dysfunction?”Thankfully, he overcame those doubts and built a beautiful marriage and family. In this conversation, he shares what helped him to do just that. Plus, we discuss:What is virtue and how do you build it?A three part framework to know if you’ve acquired a virtueThe ultimate measure of a virtuous personWhy virtue offers you happiness and freedomPractical tips you can use today to build virtueBuy Dr. Swafford’s book: Spiritual Survival in the Modern World: Insights from C. S. Lewis's Screwtape LettersBuy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)Shownotes

If your family is broken, you’ve probably felt like our guest today who badly wanted her family to be normal. It’s such a natural desire which goes painfully unsatisfied. In this raw episode, we discuss:How an affair broke her family apart and how that’s impacted herHow we often use excessive drinking to cope with our pain and what to do insteadWhen moving away from your family could be the right thing for a timeBuy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ Divorce (affiliate link)Share Your StoryJoin Restored’s CommunityShownotes

If you spoke to your friends the way you spoke to yourself, would those relationships become abusive? The words you tell yourself are often filled with lies, but you might not even realize it.But those lies become your identity, which then dictates the quality and happiness of your life. Thankfully, our guest today can help you beat the lies and discover your real identity. In this episode, we discuss:Why it is so important to uncover the lies you believe about yourselfHow it’s simple yet difficult to replace those lies with the truthTwo tactics and resources you can use today to change the way you talk to yourself and renew your identityBuy Chris’s book: I AM: Rewrite Your Name—Reroute Your LifeBuy Joey’s book: It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain & Problems from Your Parents’ DivorceShownotesThe links above are Amazon affiliate links. Restored receives a commission for each purchase at no extra cost to you.

Many young people from broken families struggle to discern their relationships and calling in life because they feel so anxious and uncertain. The trauma of their broken family and the effects that stem from it often interfere with their ability to discern properly. In this episode, we dive into that and more:Why a lack of peace isn’t an automatic indicator that a relationship or vocation isn’t meant to beHow to discern if you feel anxious and uncertainHow our desire for 100% certainty prevents us from living the life we were meant to live.Plus, we offer a sneak preview of our brand new book, It’s Not Your Fault. Get the FREE chapters from our new book, It’s Not Your Fault.Shownotes

A popular question we receive from young people from broken families is “How do I help my parents and navigate my relationship with them?” In this episode, we offer advice and answer that question. We discuss:What to do when your parents try to enlist you in their war against each otherHow to respond if your parents are asking you to make or heavily influence big decisions for themWhy you shouldn’t have to pretend everything is okay when Mom or Dad start dating someone elsePlus, we offer a sneak preview of our brand new book, It’s Not Your Fault. Get the FREE chapters from our new book, It’s Not Your Fault.Shownotes

Music has always been a tool to cope with the pain and problems from my parents’ divorce. Two artists whose music helped me a lot are Jenny and Tyler, a married musical duo. Their music and marriage have especially convinced me that love can last. In this episode, they share:Lessons they’ve learned after years in marriage that would’ve been helpful to know before they got married. Encouragement to anyone from a broken home who’s afraid of love and marriage. Advice to anyone who’s afraid of taking risks - as artists, they know a thing or two about taking risksListen to Jenny & TylerShownotes

For 40 years, Holli searched for help to heal from the trauma of her parents’ divorce, including 30 years of counseling. But nothing worked. She had all but lost hope when she found Restored. She claims this podcast has been more healing than 30 years of counseling.Having struggled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, she also shared how Restored has “literally saved my life.” If you’ve wondered how Restored can help you or someone you love or lead, this episode is for you. In it, we discuss:How her parents’ divorce came out of the blue, which research suggests may be most damagingHow her dad’s quick remarriage hurt her as much or almost more than the divorce itselfThe sense of loss she felt when she stopped seeing her siblings due to the divorcePlus, two huge announcements at the start of the show!Let us know how Restored has helped you here.Shownotes

What would you do if you were 12 years old and you accidentally found out that your mom is cheating on your dad? That’s the exact situation that today’s guest faced as a little girl.We discuss how she felt that her mom not only cheated on her dad, but on her and her siblings too. Plus, we get into:The ways in which her mom’s infidelity wounded herHow that wound was reopened when two boyfriends cheated on her in high school and collegeThe connection between her parents’ divorce and her desire for control in life and relationshipsHow on the external, everyone thought she was fine since she excelled in sports and school, but she was really hurting insideOne very common factor at the root of so many divorces and affairsShare your storyShownotes

As a boy, Bart Schuchts thought his family was normal. But in reality, it was very broken. When he was five years old, his dad left after cheating on his mom. He remembers his mom crying herself to sleep at night. Seeing the devastation his dad left, he swore to never be like him. But in college, his worst fear came true. Sleeping around and using women, he realized: “I am just like my father.” Thankfully, his story didn’t end there. In this episode, he shares:How he overcame his anger, lust, depression, despair, and self-hateThe hurt he felt from opening up to the wrong people about his strugglesHow he learned to have compassion for his father and even forgive himJoin Restored’s communityShownotes