Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

In this week’s episode, I have the honor of chatting with Reese - a college-aged friend that I adore. She bravely shares her testimony - one that involves abuse by a coach, a “not guilty” jury decision and God’s faithfulness through it all. Reese wanted to come on and share her story so that parents see that an authentic faith is often born from life’s toughest struggles. When I asked Reese’s mom about this journey, this was her text to me.“My daughter’s journey reminds us that God can use even our worst fears and redeem them. We can’t protect our kids from their testimony. God always takes what the enemy intends for evil for good. Maybe even their very purpose. Trusting him with their growth and process and pain. We were the parents with such tight controls. No sleepovers. No phones until HS. No ipads. Locked down YouTube. My control can’t protect her from everything.”My favorite part is when she shares a story of how God spoke directly to her during some of the hardest parts of her story. It gave me chills and also great comfort. It reminded me that no matter what our kids face - they will never be alone. I can either get swallowed up with fear and the “what if’s” of parenting or I can make the choice to lean into faith and trust God has them. He has them in the best of times and the worst. I am so excited for you to hear from an 18-year-old with a solid and authentic faith that wasn’t born out of a perfect life. Her faith is hers, it’s tested and it’s remarkable. In this episode, we discuss:Reese’s story of abuse Authentic faith birthed through hardest timesHow she experienced God so personally Rees’s encouragement for parents Enjoy,Courtney00:00Introduction and Background02:01Impacting Children's Faith04:18Overcoming Abuse and Finding Identity in Christ08:47Timeline and Legal Proceedings17:06Experiencing God through Visions and Dreams19:28The Table of the Lord27:50Encouragement for ParentsConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Reese’s ministry - Abundant GraceGod Made All Of Me - recommended book for littlesBirds and BeesBirds and Bees EpisodeUntold - her favorite ministry in AfricaElla’s purple dress from AmazonIdentity SimplifiedPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“But Jesus told him, 'No! The Scriptures say, "People do not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God"’” (Matthew 4:4 NLT)Reading the Bible and memorizing scripture matters because it is one way we can fight the battles in our own lives—both big and small. Scripture can help our kids (and us!) feel confident in our God-given identity, face a life crisis, and everything in between. Knowing God’s word also develops our faith and brings us closer to God. Every bit of scripture is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12), God-breathed, and teaches us to live righteously (2 Timothy 3:16). The more we know God’s word and keep it in our hearts, the more we understand God’s heart and his ways, aligning our wills to his. The word of God protects us from the desire to do it all by ourselves and replaces that desire with the desire to let God direct our paths. God loves us too much to leave us to our own devices. He reveals truth to us through his word so that the desires of our hearts become more like his!So this week, let’s pray that our kids will know the word of God and lean on it to guide them in every area of their lives. Father God, I pray that  ____________ grows to learn your word, love your word, and see it as holy and infallible.  May they love the Bible and read it daily with the goal of knowing your heart more and more. May they rely on your word to direct their paths. Remind them to hide your word in their hearts so they can use it to fight any battle they face—now and in the future. Amen.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s an absolute delight to have my dear friend Lysa TerKeurst on the podcast today. Lysa has been sharing her deepest struggles through writing books, devotionals and bible studies for decades. She has a beautiful way combining biblical truth and heartfelt empathy that makes us all feel less alone. In today’s episode, we discuss TRUST and DISTRUST. She shares that when you starve a relationship from trust - it’s like not giving a human air to breathe. I can imagine that many of you are working through some trust issues - we all are. Whether it’s a broken friendship or marriage or a strained relationship with a family member or dear friend. It can be really hard to manage the healing and repairing process for yourself and even more difficult when it involves your children. One of my favorite parts is when she talks about the importance of healing in a community. She shares how natural it can be to isolate when you’re hurt - but trust rebuilds in community. I am praying this episode touches a tender topic with such encouragement and practical help.In this episode we discuss:Why trust is crucial to all human relationshipsHow to manage broken hearts and relationships while raising kidsHow to move towards healing with resilience Enjoy!Courtney00:00Practical Wisdom and Biblical Truth: A Conversation on Trust and Distrust03:16The Impact of Broken Trust: Emotional Abuse and Betrayal Trauma15:24Triggers and Discernment: Patterns of Behavior and Self-Exploration32:55Resilience and Healing: Overcoming Broken TrustConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:LysaTerKeurst.comI Want To Trust You, But I Can’t - Lysa’s newest bookDr Amen and Lysa - her brain scanEMDR TherapyWOW - root cover upPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us” (1 John 5:14)One amazing way our kids can know more about God is through prayer. The practice of prayer involves talking to God and listening to God. We tend to be better at the talking part because, with the busyness of our lives, it can be a real challenge to slow ourselves down and listen to God! But we can’t hear a whisper when we’re running. As parents, our role is to help guide our kids into a mature faith where they can quiet themselves enough to hear God’s voice. Prayer should not be an afterthought in our minds. Going to God and conversing with him should be our first thought when we start a new day, face a dilemma, or experience something great! We know prayer changes things. Prayer transforms hearts, renews minds, and gives us peace that passes all understanding. We need to remember that promise because God, who wants to talk with us, will answer every prayer. It might just look different than we expect – sometimes “no” is an answer and other times we won’t understand how he answered a prayer until much later, or even heaven. So this week let’s pray that our kids stand in confidence, knowing that God always hears them and wants to talk with them.Lord, may ______________ make prayer a priority in their schedule. When something happens, may their first instinct be to talk to you about it, not anybody else. I pray they learn to hear your voice, submit to your will, and deepen their relationship with you through prayer. Give them an eternal perspective, knowing that all their prayers may not be answered in the way they envision, but they will be answered in your perfect way. May they grow to be a mighty prayer warrior, confident in the transforming power of prayer. Amen.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Do you ever feel far from God? This week, we get to dive into a crucial conversation with Jeannie Cunnion. She helps us unpack this very common feeling amongst believers. She has so much encouragement around why God desires us to get closer and closer. And then, she also gives us practical ways we can grow closer to God. There isn’t a finish line for growing closer to God. We are all on our own journey with God. It’s personal and it takes time and it’s never-ending. However, we so often compare ourselves to other Christians in our lives. We believe others have arrived spiritually and we are behind. I am praying this chat gives you assurance and comfort in your own journey - no matter where you are in this season.My favorite part is when we talk about “effort” vs “earn.” Sometimes, we confuse our effort to grow with the desire to earn something. The truth is that we can take steps to get to know God more without getting stuck in the lie that we must earn God’s love. Let this conversation with Jeannie give you peace and a new desire to grow closer to God through His presence.In this episode, we discuss:What to do when you feel far from GodHow do we learn to put effort into our faith - without feeling we must earn itHow to be on your own faith journey - while parenting kids on their own journeyWhy do we do what we don’t want to do  Enjoy!CourtneyConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:JeannieCunnion.comCloser To God - Jeannie’s new devotionalMom Set FreeChristy Nockels Carpool ConversationsWhite BirdPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12)The world will tell our kids many things about who they are, and some of those things will be true and encouraging. Other messages from the world will be lies, and difficult to hear. No matter who is mean to our kids, what school they go to, or what position they play on the field, our kids belong to God. Your child is God’s child, holy and dearly loved. He or she is called upon, adopted, redeemed, and sanctified. Your child was created with intention for a purpose and God calls them precious. So let’s pray that our kids will always stand firm in their identity in Christ so that their confidence will not shake when the world feels unsteady. Let’s ask God to help them base their identity and security in him alone.Father God, thank you for calling __________ your child. Help them to remember that you love them and call them by name, that you have adopted them into your family, and lavish your love upon them. May they know deep in their hearts that their identity does not rest in what the world says about them, but in what you say. You say they are yours! Amen.Interested in reading more? Here are 90 Biblical truths about your identity in Christ.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I hope you are finding a theme on this podcast. I am always trying to bring you conversations about real-life problems that us moms face on a daily basis. Also, I want to always point us back to Jesus as well as practical ideas to move forward. Today’s episode is one of those issues we face on a regular basis: Alyssa Bethke is passionate about this idea of “being all and doing all.” She really digs into why women struggle with this. My intentions aren’t always bad as a “doer” - they just aren’t sustainable. I would love to fix it all, handle it all and make sure everyone in my life is happy. I really, really struggled with this in my 20s and 30s. However, I am so excited that I have grown in this area and found ways to trust what he’s calling me to do - and only those things. I love how Alyssa asks herself this question, “Lord, what is mine to do?” Don’t miss this part at the end when she gives us how she practically handles the pressure of many demands on us. As moms, this pressure to help, fix and support our kids is very real. It is very hard to face that reality - that there is never enough time or energy to do and be all. And that is where our faith comes in. How can we really lean into God so that we know what is ours to take and then we have peace surrendering the rest?In this episode, we discuss:The struggle of doing it all as a momThe gift of boundaries and how to say noFinding rest in God’s grace and what he calls us to doEnjoy!CourtneyChapters00:00Introduction and Background01:18The Struggle of Trying to Do It All08:11Setting Boundaries and Saying No11:08Seeking God's Guidance in Each Season14:58The Desire for Control and Predictability16:16Finding Rest in God's Grace16:48The Struggle of Control and the Call to Surrender19:05Honesty and Unmet Expectations in Our Relationship with God20:33Parenting: Trusting God and Surrendering Control25:55Trusting in God's Goodness and Seeking His GuidanceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:Alyssa Bethke Instagram Jeffandalyssa.comWhen Doing It All, Is Undoing You - new bookGamechanger Amazon ListAmazon List - more ideasWhite Bird MovieCarpool ConversationsChristian Parenting storePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dive into the transformative role of the Holy Spirit in our lives and how it shapes our faith journeys. Discover tips for parents on explaining the Holy Spirit to kids and guiding them to recognize His presence. Hear personal anecdotes that demonstrate the importance of relying on the Holy Spirit for strength and courage in everyday challenges. The podcast emphasizes heartfelt prayers for deeper connections with God and encourages listeners to trust in divine guidance amidst the trials of parenting.

Do you have a brand you love in your house? My girls have been obsessed with all the beautiful jewelry pieces of enewton for many years. I am always intrigued when I see a mom running a massive business. My hunch was that Eizabeth Newton was a faithful, generous and fun CEO. I learned that she is even more than that!Elizabeth shares her story of raising triplets (and a 2-year-old) in the beginning years of enewton. She shares about her passion for generosity and how that has stayed with the company through the incredible growth and expansion. She also shares some practical ways that you can involve your kids in your business while prioritizing your family above all.She offers so many nuggets of parenting wisdom through our chat, but I really loved her parting words for us. She encourages us to “show up and give yourself grace.” I know I needed that reminder as a mom that is trying so hard to get it right. We are doing better than we think. Keep giving it your best and give yourself loads of grace! In this episode, we discuss:Juggling business and kidsStarting a business with tripletsInstilling faith practically in her home Conflict, comparison and celebration as siblings Raising independent kids Enjoy !Courtney Chapters:00:00 Introduction and shared connections03:18 Having fun and not taking oneself too seriously05:28 Parenting triplets and starting a business08:54 The growth of enewton and giving back12:49 Prioritizing presence and grace15:35 Creating lasting memories and prioritizing what matters18:08 Incorporating ministry into work and family life20:24 Celebrating others and teaching independence25:37 Showing up for your children and giving yourself graceConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoGet your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of FaithResources from today’s show:enewtonenewton InstagramFlourishing FamiliesRead Again and Again Bible StorybooksChristian Parenting storePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:16–17 NLT)Jesus’ death on the cross gives us access to God again. It’s not just about eternal life with him, though he promises his followers that. Choosing Jesus is also about experiencing a peace that passes all understanding and building a relationship with the father right here and right now. Jesus took what was broken in our world and made it whole again and he can do the same for us. So this week let’s pray that our kids will know Jesus as the savior of the world and choose to follow him every day of their lives. Let’s pray they would come to know him as the way, the truth, and the life.Jesus, thank you for coming to the world and sacrificing yourself for our sins. May __________ come to understand the gift of salvation, accept your grace, and choose to follow you. May they know that they cannot earn your grace, but it is a free gift that comes from the love you have for them. Amen.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy