Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

“The truth is, of course, that what one regards as interruptions are precisely one’s life.” —C. S. Lewis The Lord uses people for his kingdom purposes who are willing to let go of their own agenda and go with his. To trade in their own personal security for something bigger than they can accomplish on their own. He uses those who live interruptible lives. Many of the disciples were asked to literally lay down their fishing nets in order to walk with Jesus. Jesus knew that, only when they were willing to walk away from their own plans, he could lead them on the journey of a lifetime with the message of eternity. At his very core, Jesus wants his people to have a deep connection with him. Through this deep connection, he’s able to lead us to places we otherwise would not go. We will have nets to lay down if we’re going to follow Jesus—and so will our kids. Praying for our kids to live interruptible lives is an interesting prayer when we know personally how frustrating it is to be interrupted. It’s not easy, but it’s right. Let’s pray this week that our kids have a heart for God’s calling in their lives and that they will be willing to lay down their nets every day in order to follow their Savior. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”                                  —Isaiah 55:8–9Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As we continue our “New Year, New You” series this January, we’ve covered topics related to our physical health, emotional health, and finances. This week, we’re talking about marriage, and I don’t know of a better person to talk to about this important but oftentimes difficult subject. Today, we’ve got Lysa TerKeurst! Lysa is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She’s married to her husband, Art, and they have five grown children. They live in Nashville, and Lysa is passionate about helping others experience Jesus by working through Scripture in the truest and most responsible way that everyone can understand. Lysa shares vulnerably about her marriage and finding out about her husband’s infidelity and substance abuse. Living through that and seeing God restore her marriage, she encourages us in the hard places in marriage. What we talk about: Acknowledging that the Enemy is attacking marriages and seeks to isolate us The importance of marriage check-ins with our spouse It’s okay to be disappointed in our marriage but the importance of redefining disappointment Why we all need counseling in combination with exercising discernment How to trust the Lord in the times when you can’t see his hand She’s practical, she’s wise, and she gives us lots to consider in our marriages! Take time to listen to Lysa TerKeurst on Pardon the Mess and share it with your friends!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Safety first!” These words are the mantra everywhere, from the sixth-grade science lab to your own home when your kids run by with a pair of scissors. We’re all about safety when it comes to our families. This week we are praying protection over our kids. Praying protection is probably something that comes automatically when you’re praying for your family; however, if we look a little bit deeper, we find that God’s promise of protection comes in the form of security in our salvation and eternity in his presence. Not necessarily safety on this earth. In his book Crazy Love, Francis Chan challenges us to stop making safety our greatest prayer and instead pray that we will know Jesus better, whatever road that takes. I love this particular quote from Crazy Love: “People who are obsessed with Jesus aren’t consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God’s kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress.” There’s nothing wrong with praying safety and protection for our kids, and we should do that this week. But let’s also be willing to pray that, whatever road God chooses for them to walk, they come out on the other side knowing God better. Tune in this week on Pardon the Mess as we talk about protection versus safety and how to trust God as we pray for our kids to know Jesus better. “The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever.” —2 Timothy 4:18Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Mo Money Mo Problems” —The Notorious B.I.G. It’s not often that one quotes The Notorious B.I.G. to kick off a Christian podcast, yet his song title is all too relevant for how many of us feel when dealing with our finances. It’s not necessarily a reference to how much money we have, but just to the problems money can cause when we don’t approach it biblically. As we continue our miniseries this January, “New Year, New You,” we’re getting down to the nitty-gritty of our finances. Chuck and Ann Bentley are on the show today, and they know their stuff. They speak all over the world teaching biblical financial principles, doing it with grace and love. Chuck also has a daily radio broadcast and has written several books. Here are some of the highlights of what the Bentleys shared: How to redefine prosperity to line up with the Bible’s definition How men and women approach finances differently Being a peacemaker in your marriage when money raises tensions Tips for handling debt Common financial mistakes families make What generosity and giving say about our priorities My hope is that we can take an honest look at our finances today, considering how we’re stewarding what the Lord has given us and if it’s pleasing to him.   “Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf.” —Proverbs 11:28 P.S. You can check out their book Money Problems, Marriage Solutions: 7 Keys to Aligning Your Finances and Uniting Your Hearts here as well!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Why does contentment matter? “I would totally be content if I had just a little bit more.” We don’t actually say those words, but show your hand if you’ve ever bought into that lie. (Unfortunately, my hand is raised.) When we define success by God’s standards of prosperity and not the world’s, life is lots easier and a whole lot more peaceful. If we define ourselves by what we have or how much we have, we will inevitably find a lack of contentment. Christ-filled contentment brings peace and happiness, knowing that what Jesus has already done for us is more than we deserve. And, better than that, it’s eternal so it can’t be taken away. The whole idea of contentment is a big one when it comes to praying for our kids. A lack of contentment doesn’t just impact our kids when they are young. When they become adults, a spirit of discontentment can seep into finances, jobs, friendships, and everything in between. Let’s buckle down this week and ask the Lord to show us where we need to find contentment in our own lives so that we can model it well in our families. Let’s pray that our kids know that money and material things do not bring lasting fulfillment and happiness, but that only comes from Jesus. And when you have those thoughts that a “little bit more” would make all the difference, call it out for what it is. Let it remind you to pray for contentment for yourself and your family. John Piper said, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.” May God be glorified through all of us.Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Well, excuse us for getting a little personal so early in 2020! But life is messy, and we plan on staying true to our name and hitting some of the hard stuff in our January miniseries called “New Year, New You.” Last week, we talked about improvements we can make in our physical health. This week, we’re discussing mental health. If we haven’t stepped on your toes yet, there’s still time as we round out January tackling topics like our finances and marriage. Whoever said it’s rude to talk about politics and money at the table? Well, we are at least staying away from politics. Kidding. Today, Paige Mayhew and Rebecca Leonard join us to discuss our mental health. Both of these ladies are licensed professional counselors who just so happen to love Jesus too. Doesn’t get much better than that! Here are some things we discussed in the podcast: Overcoming the stigmas of going to counseling How to know when it’s time to get help Anxiety and coping strategies Warning signs to look for in your kids Take a minute and chat with us about mental health and consider where the Lord might be challenging you to work through some of the hard places facing you this year. Get equipped to pray for your kids as we face a new year and the opportunity to pray God’s hand on their lives! Grow closer to God as a family this New Year with the Christian Parenting Prayer Journal! If you want to listen to week 1 of the series "New Year, New You" check out last week's episode with Maria Bower!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I always bristle when I read the passage in Matthew 26 where Jesus asks the disciples to stay awake to keep watch and pray with him the night before he’s arrested to be crucified. Do you remember what happens? Not once or twice, but three times Jesus comes back to find the disciples asleep because apparently “their eyes were heavy” (Matthew 26:43). This passage makes me sweat a little bit because I kind of think that might have happened on my watch too. It’s easy to think that surely if Jesus specifically instructed us to stay awake to keep watch and pray, we would understand the urgency and make it our first priority to get it done. But then, if you’re like me, we find ourselves lying in bed each night with great intentions to pray for our families and, well, our eyes get heavy. Today on our podcast, Becky Jones joins me to talk about our prayer lives. She reminds us of God’s grace in the places where we haven’t prayed well in the past but also encourages us to make changes moving forward by treating prayer as a continual conversation with God instead of a list to check off. As we’re praying for our kids this year, let’s pray they understand the transformative power of prayer and how it leads to God’s guidance and provision in their lives. Let’s also pray that their lives are marked by prayer and they can remember it being a significant priority in our own lives. Your eyes may be heavy, but God has asked us to pray always (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Let’s do this!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As you know, this month on Pardon the Mess we’re doing a miniseries we’ve lovingly nicknamed “New Year, New You.” We’re tackling some of the messy areas in life that are often the basis of resolutions this time of year, like physical health, emotional health, and financial health. This week we’re thrilled to have Maria Bower, author of Faith Vs. Weight, join us to discuss physical health and weight loss. Maria approaches nutrition from the perspective of how to best fuel our body to accomplish God’s kingdom work in our lives. Discussing the “why” behind losing excess weight, Maria puts it this way: "Like all other distractions from the devil, it is a problem that is stealing your energy from serving God, making you miserable in the process. It is time to reclaim your energy for His glory and serve His kingdom with love. This epidemic no longer needs to stop you and your family from reaching your full potential in Christ." Maria has worked as a US Navy health care administrator and is a certified personal trainer. She’s funny, she’s direct, she’s passionate about our health, and she loves Jesus and approaches nutrition from a biblical perspective. Food and dieting can consume our thoughts and be a tactic the enemy uses to distract us from God’s best in our lives. Let’s take a few minutes to consider God’s Word in this area and the steps we might take in 2020 to regain our energy for serving God and our families. So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re continuing our prayer emphasis in 2020 by praying this week for our kids to be excellent in all that they do. When you think about excellence and praying it for your kids, what comes to mind?   For me it’s the cheesy inspirational posters in middle school classrooms back in the day with sayings like: “Excellence is never an accident” or “Excellence is not being the best - but doing your best.”   Well let’s just say I did my best in math and nobody has ever accused me of excellence in that arena. But that’s neither here nor there.   It’s easy to get excellence confused with performance. Scripture is clear that we are called to excellence because it honors the one who created us, and he alone is the only true model of excellence. Performance is cumbersome and puts the focus on us, but praying the Lord’s excellence in our kids will rightfully take the pressure off of them and allow the Lord to shine in their lives.   Let’s pray that our children approach all their work with a goal of excellence, not in order that they might be looked upon favorably by others – but so that God will.   “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy New Year! It’s that time of year when we find ourselves in a post-Christmas, tight-pants, can’t-remember-when-we-last-ate-a-vegetable stupor. Yet there’s still a fleeting tinge of optimism bubbling up as we face a new year and new opportunities for change. Or is that just me? This month on Pardon the Mess, we’re doing a miniseries we’ve lovingly nicknamed “New Year, New You.” We’re tackling some of the areas of life that so often become areas of resolution this time of year. We will focus on physical health, emotional health, financial health, and more. As always, we will approach these subjects biblically and from the lens of how it best honors the Lord and impacts our parenting for his kingdom. As we kickoff this miniseries, today we have a conversation with Luke Lezon. (Anyone who writes a book titled Your Mess Matters is a shoo-in for our podcast.) Luke shares what the proverbial mess has looked like in his life and how the Lord has been so good to turn his mess into a ministry. Although he’s very candid in suggesting we stop praying for relief and start looking for God’s provision and faithfulness, he’s also very practical in suggesting how to best ground ourselves when we’re living in the middle of the mess (which, as parents, I might suggest is all of the time). What a great way to kickoff January, remembering that no matter the mess we may face in 2020, we have a God who is in the business of making our mess matter for his kingdom!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy