Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

As we’re pushing through summer and finding ways to be intentional in our parenting, I can’t think of many topics more important than discipling our kids.   Don’t anyone panic—discipleship is simply teaching our kids about our faith by pointing them to the Lord in the most normal moments of everyday life.   Rebecca Carrell joins us today, and aside from being a morning show host on KCBI, a mom, wife, and podcaster—she’s my very good friend. We talk very practically about discipleship in our own homes and the ways we get it right (and very often the ways we get it wrong).   There’s so much good stuff in today’s show, but one truth we need to own as parents is this: if we don’t disciple our kids in the Lord, the world will disciple them in something else.   Join me today as we discuss practical ways to point our kids to Christ while also opening doors for them to step out in their own faith. Oh, and don’t miss tips for using discipline as a tool to disciple our kids (and we all know there’s plenty of discipline required in the dog days of summer).Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s summer, and although we’re all glad to have a little bit of normalcy this year as opposed to last, it won’t take long before these people (i.e. our kids) start their usual antics and send us on a one-way trip to the crazy train.   In an effort to help keep our wits about us, I bring to you Dr. Ken Wilgus today. Dr. Ken has been with us many times and brings a wealth of knowledge as a licensed psychologist specializing in the treatment of adolescents.   Today we’re chatting about the age-old struggle of motivating lazy kids, and considerations for parents during the summertime versus issues of motivation during the school year. He also talks to us about video games, ratings, violence, social media, and concerns with social interaction when we don’t limit screen time.   There’s lots packed into today’s show, so give yourself permission to stop cleaning up the summer messes and sit back for a few minutes and listen to Dr. Ken. You won’t regret it (and your kids likely won’t notice you’re gone)!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In honor of Father’s Day this weekend, Pardon the Mess is dedicating our whole show today to the dads we love!   Former NFL quarterback Jeff Kemp speaks all over the country, championing fatherhood by speaking into God’s design for dads as difference-makers in their families. Today we’re blessed to have him speaking into our own families by sharing his passion behind building up men, encouraging them to be strong leaders both in our homes and in the world.   Here are just a few of the powerful topics we cover: dads building healthy relationships with their kids, needs our kids have that are best filled by their dads, healing from our own dad wounds, ways to evaluate your fathering, a reminder for imperfect fathers to run toward their perfect father, and a month long challenge for wives to support and build up their husbands.   Not only do the dads around us need to hear this word today, there’s also great encouragement for moms that I can’t wait for you to hear. Join me in celebrating our dads with a great message from Jeff Kemp as we head into Father’s Day weekend.   Learn more about the Fatherhood Comission and Jeff Kemp. Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I’ve prayed for years that my kids would chase after God-sized dreams, so when I saw Sheila Erwin’s book on Raising Up Dreamers, I knew she would be perfect for our summer series on Pardon the Mess.   Sheila is the mother of Andrew and Jon Erwin, writers and producers of I Can Only Imagine, I Still Believe, and many other Christian films. Sheila shares with us the importance of recognizing our kids’ own unique giftings, then finding ways to help them maximize what God has woven into their design.   I loved her encouragement on working through learning differences in her own son’s life and now being able to see how these obstacles have become a gift to his flourishing career. We also have a great discussion around dream killers, and Sheila challenges us to make sure we allow our kids to chase after their own dreams, not ours (ouch).   I love this woman, and I can’t wait for you to hear her wise words. Let’s make sure we take some time this summer to look for what it is that God has planted in our children and find ways to help them maximize it!   Grab your copy of Raising Up Dreamers! Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Alright guys, stop what you’re doing because I have the perfect summer experiment for us to do with our kids this month!   More accurately, Kay Wyma has the perfect 30-day experiment, and we’re talking all about it today on Pardon the Mess.   It’s called The Peace Project: A 30-Day Experiment Practicing Thankfulness, Kindness, and Mercy. What is it you ask?   The Peace Project is an experiment that invites us to experience lasting personal peace by getting serious about showing thankfulness, kindness, and mercy with everyone and everything we encounter each day.   Kay shares with us how this concept came about and the impact it’s had on her life and the lives of those around her. She’s practical in showing us what it looks like each day and how she’s lived in some really hard places this last year in complete peace because God reframed her perspective.   Let’s be honest: peace is a distant memory when all these kids are home all day asking for food, activities, and attention. I urge you to take a few minutes today to listen to our conversation and then join my family as we embark on this 30-day journey of showing thankfulness, kindness, and mercy.   There are few things we need more of on this side of heaven than peace. I just know God’s going to do big things through this experiment—so let’s do it together!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I’m so excited about today’s podcast with my dear friend, Clint Schumacher. He’s talking with us about the importance of resiliency which he defines as our “ability to deal with adversity in a positive and meaningful way.”   If we’ve learned anything from 2020-2021, it’s the importance of resilience in the face of uncertainty and allowing our faith to ground us during the hard times.   As much as I like to consider my own resilience and places where I need some work in this area, I’m even more excited about our discussion on fostering resiliency in our kids. I realize that given the choice we would probably prefer to shield our kids from all adversity, but that’s not realistic and doesn’t allow us to train them to walk the hard places well.   Don’t miss our practical discussion on the decisions resilient people make and common barriers to resilience such as resentment, shame, and self-pity. Oh, and don’t worry if you happen to have a kid who is . . . let’s say . . . lacking in the resiliency department (we’ve all got that one )—it can be developed with a little bit of intentionality on our part.   Take a few minutes to consider this important topic with me today, and then grab a copy of Clint Schumacher’s new book Second Wind: Decisions the Resilient Make to Overcome Adversity. Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Max Lucado is on the show again today, and I kind of feel like it’s Christmas because... well it’s Max Lucado, and he’s pure gold! I’m sure I’ve said this many times before, but I’m hard pressed to find many authors whose books have impacted my faith more than those of Max Lucado.   I’m especially grateful as I’ve watched him bring God back into the narrative this past year, speaking to virtually every media outlet and giving hope to our struggling country. We talk about that today as well as so many other things you just don’t want to miss.   Here’s a little preview: truths to share with your kids post-pandemic, remembering the lessons we’ve learned as we re-enter life, teaching our kids to pray audacious prayers, how to disagree well with those around us, practical ways to spend time with God each day, and helping our kids work through their emotional hard places.   Take a few minutes in the midst of the May craziness to hear a good word from Max Lucado, and then please share it with a friend. And you will definitely want to grab a copy of his new children’s book Where’d My Giggle Go for all the littles in your life.Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s officially here, the last week of our prayer journal!   I have mixed emotions as we wrap up the 2020–2021school year, especially as the mom of a graduating senior. Yet I’m so thankful that even as we’ve braved the hard places of a pandemic, we’ve come together each week (okay, most weeks) to faithfully pray that our kids are marked by the things of God.   We’ve prayed that our kids are marked with integrity, confidence, generosity, endurance, and much more. But these are nothing more than admirable qualities if they aren’t used for God’s kingdom purposes.   Before Jesus ascended to heaven, he gave us our mission. He told us to go and make disciples, sharing the story of his grace and love (Matthew 28). The Great Commission is our central mission. The same is true for our kids.   But it all starts at home. It happens in the seemingly insignificant moments of reading Bible stories to our toddlers and the really hard places of pointing them to Jesus on the heels of their biggest mistakes and greatest obstacles. Please let us never underestimate the significance of our jobs as moms and dads, discipling our kids to share the gospel to the next generation.   Let’s wrap up this school year by praying that our kids are marked by the mission of Jesus, doing it with truth, discipline, purity, and every other characteristic of God we’ve prayed over them this year.   I’m so grateful for your investment in praying for your kids, and I hope you’ve seen God’s hand move in remarkable ways in their lives.   Have a wonderful summer and keep listening to Pardon the Mess on Thursdays as we have lots of great shows coming your way. Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It was about seven years ago when my husband and I realized the Lord was nudging us to explore foster care. And just in case you’re new to the Pardon the Mess family, the long story is we finally did what we were called to do and our lives are forever changed by fostering and adopting our little one, JB.   As I look back on my 20s and 30s, I kind of wish someone would have kicked me in the pants and told me to slow down and pray about God’s unique calling for my life. Maybe it should have been obvious, but I was so busy chasing after my own dreams that I wonder how many of God’s dreams I overlooked in the process.   Because of this, I want to very honestly ask if you’ve prayed about God’s calling for your life right now? Do you know that he has very specific plans for your life which he created long before you took even one breath? Might I encourage you to not fall into the trap I did for so long of missing his still quiet voice because of busy schedules and big agendas.   We’re talking about all of this today, and I’m thrilled to have Harmony Klingenmeyer with me. We discuss the good, bad, and ugly of foster care—however, my prayer is that you will take foster care and use it as the blank to fill in for whatever God is calling you to.   I hope you’ll take a few minutes to listen to today’s show and then stop and pray that God will reveal any callings on your life that you may be missing. Take it from me—chasing after the things of God will change your life forever, and I’ve got a 5 year old cutie to prove it!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s almost unbelievable that we’re down to our last two weeks of praying through the 2020–2021 prayer journal. As we’re beginning to wrap it up, I’m just so thankful that you’ve been doing this together with me.    As we pray this week for our kids to be marked by “remembering,” we’re praying they will trust God’s faithfulness in their present circumstances because they have seen his goodness in the past.    I love the reference to an Ebenezer stone in 1 Samuel 7. After experiencing a huge battle victory, Samuel grabbed a stone as a memorial and named it Ebenezer, translated as “the Lord has helped us to this point.” Samuel knew the Israelites’ battle win was significant from a tactical perspective, but he also knew the more significant win was the reminder that God had protected them in the past and he’d just done it again.    Our kids need the same reminder today that Samuel gave way back then: The God who has taken care of us up to this point will do it again. He is faithful and trustworthy.     What are the Ebenezers in your family? Let’s talk about it on today’s podcast and pray together that our kids are marked by remembering that God will protect all of their days when they are surrendered to him. Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy