Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

“No matter how many times you’ve tried before or how loud the voice is that says you’ll never be different than you are, God says something else today. You. Can. Live. Free.” —Louie Giglio, Goliath Must Fall   I’ve never really loved January and the post-Christmas letdown. But the one thing I do look forward to each year is the opportunity to make adjustments in my life, allowing me to live more purposefully and biblically. That’s why Pardon the Mess is kicking off 2021 with a month of shows speaking to the spiritual, circumstantial, physical, and financial ways in which we live. It’s practical advice each week on living more fully and freely in Christ. Today, Louie Giglio joins us to talk through the spiritual aspects in our lives that may need some tweaking. Louie is pastor of Passion City Church and the founder of the Passion movement. Having devoted his life to working with young adults, he shares the number one thing he believes our kids need before leaving for college. We covered so much in today’s show, but here are a few highlights: Living with “congruency” in our lives Louie’s personal battle with anxiety and the role humility has played Questioning God’s timing and his plans for our lives Helping our kids win the battles against their giants I’m so thankful you’re here, and I can’t wait to kick off 2021 exploring new ways to live and parent fully in Jesus.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I can’t think of a better way to begin the New Year than by coming together to pray over our kids. I’m thankful to each of you for joining me every week as we pray for our kids and for his guidance in parenting them.   This week we’re praying that our kids are marked by truth.  As we do this, it’s important to define truth. We live in a culture of moral relativism, meaning truth is subjective and personal. But God’s word tells us the real story of truth:  “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” —John 14:6  “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” —John 17:17    As we pray for kids marked by truth, we are praying that they have the discernment to go to Scripture no matter what they are facing.  Kids marked by truth will not waver with every opinion thrown their way. Kids marked by truth will live with a higher standard, even when it’s unpopular. Kids marked by truth will hear the lies of the Enemy and recognize them as just that: lies.  Living in God’s truth is a critical calling on our kids’ lives. Let’s kickoff this year praying this over them.    Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Happy New Year’s Eve!   Not that anyone asked, but I’m all in when it comes to New Year’s resolutions.   I enjoy planning new healthy recipes, dusting off the gym membership, and even reading books on how to better parent these kids in my house. But, like most people, my resolutions lack resolve after about six weeks.   However, this New Year I want to be especially intentional in implementing the things that will help me grow spiritually. I’m hoping to read through the Bible again, change up the way I pray, and dare I even mention journaling (at which I’m awful so I can never fully endorse).    As you think through ways to refresh your time with God in 2021, you’re going to love our chat with Chrystal Evans Hurst today. Chrystal shares her heart behind the 28-day prayer challenge and how this book is based on the struggles she’s faced with her own prayer life.  I really loved her wisdom on praying with our kids, specifically praying Scripture over them. That’s another thing I want to implement for 2021 in my own house.   Go back and listen to Priscilla Shirer on the podcast last week if you missed it, and then tune in today to hear her sister Chrystal Evans Hurst on our show.   Oh, and please don’t miss Chrystal’s vulnerability in sharing the hard places the Evans’ family has faced recently, as well as working through unanswered prayer.   As we gear up for 2021, let’s resolve to do the things that will cause us to know God better in the New Year. I can’t wait to do it together.  Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I’m praying you had a wonderful Christmas with your family, taking every opportunity to celebrate the birth of our Savior.  As we wrap up 2020, it feels like there’s so much to digest and reflect on after all we’ve been through. It’s crazy to think back to last year at this time and consider all the things we didn’t realize were heading our way.  This week we’re asking for God’s protection over our children.  It feels like the need for protection has new meaning after the year we just experienced. But can I encourage you to take a few minutes this week to reflect on how God has been faithful in protecting you and your family in 2020?  As you do this, I want to share an excerpt of a letter I wrote to “Dear Pre-COVID Me” last year. My hope is that it will remind you (like it did me) to thank God for his faithfulness and presence in all of the hard places we’ve faced.   Pre-COVID me, please know that somewhere along the way you’re going to stop to ask a really vulnerable but important question: God, where are you in the middle of this? The answer may be hard to find as the days grow longer and the news seems darker. But dig deep. It’s there. He’s there. You’ll find him in the still small places where he always has been and always will be revealing his greatest glory.    Look for God in everything from the birthday parades to the family baseball games. You’ll find him in the return of families around the dinner table and the unrushed nightly bedtime routines. He’s on your countless walks around the neighborhood and in the Zoom reunions with extended family. You’ll feel his presence when you’re playing board games with your kids, teaching them how to cook and clean, and especially when you see your previously overcommitted family finding rest and perspective in a new, simplified routine. You’ll hear amazing stories of God working through our frontline workers, caring selflessly for the sickest of patients and often at the expense of their own families. He’ll be evident in the melody of pots and pans banging from the balconies of high-rises as people unite in the most difficult of times. God’s hand will be visible as communities rally together to support local businesses and as friends and neighbors dust off old sewing machines to make face masks to protect each other. You’ll feel his presence when you look up to see the Blue Angels soar through the sky, or even as you look down and find messages of hope in colorful sidewalk chalk. I guess what I would want you to know is that there are going to be some really hard times to weather, but, in the middle of the uncertainty, there’s an opportunity to reaffirm God’s promise that he is with us, for us, and will never leave us.  I’m looking forward to praying protection over our kids this week with my friend Jerica Olson on the podcast. Glad you’re with us. Happy New Year!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Merry Christmas Eve!   As I’ve been reading through the Christmas story the last few weeks, I keep going back to the passage in Luke 2 where Luke describes Jesus’ birth and Mary placing her baby in the manger. It’s right after that sweet account in the stable that Luke takes a hard turn to writing about the shepherds hearing of Jesus’ birth by the angels.   Shepherds, of all people, being among the first to hear the story of Christmas—that’s a good word for us.  I’m reminded that only in Jesus do those who seem to lack in significance (e.g., shepherds) suddenly become essential characters in the greatest story ever told. It makes me think of the  similar insignificance I’m prone to feel in the daily grind of parenting—so many asks and sometimes little thanks.   But it’s as the shepherds were simply keeping watch over their flock that Jesus brought them into the larger story. It’s in those seemingly small places of faithfulness in our own lives  that Jesus uses the mundane for his glory.    We are anything but overlooked with Jesus. He takes our small stories and weaves them in the fabric of HIS greater story.   Take a few minutes to thank Jesus today for your family. Ask him to remind you that what you’re doing each day for your family matters and has kingdom significance.  This week as we’re celebrating Jesus, I’m excited to re-release one of my favorite interviews to date on Pardon the Mess. Priscilla Shirer joined us with a powerful message on identity that’s the perfect word as we wrap up a hard year.     Priscilla is a wife, Bible teacher, mom, actress, and so much more. There’s so much to love about Priscilla, but what always sticks with me is the way she speaks so freely and powerfully about her faith while also practically reminding us of what really matters as we go about our days.  Priscilla and I had the opportunity to talk about her life as she raises her three boys and how she builds them up with statements of affirmation. She reminds us that living in a place of knowing our true identity in Christ means all of our decisions come from the truth. When we do that, it shifts how we live our lives.    Whatever you do, don’t miss the last few minutes as she talks honestly about the difficulties her family has faced the last few years and gives us words of encouragement for when we walk hard roads of loss and discouragement.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I don’t know about you, but when we talk about numbering our days this time of year I go straight to the Christmas countdown. And yes, Christmas is FOUR days away! (Thankfully there’s always Amazon to save us in a pinch.) But this week, as we’re praying for our kids to number their days, we’re thinking less mathematically and more missionally. We’re praying they make the most of every God-given opportunity, living today as if there might not be a tomorrow.  David understood the brevity of life when he wrote: “You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure” (Psalm 39:5 NIV). Podcaster, author, speaker, and my friend, Lisa Clark, is on the show today to guide us in praying for our kids. She’s just about the coolest grandmother you’ll ever meet and always full of wisdom and humor. Today is no different.  Join me in praying this week that our kids learn to number their days in such a way that every decision and opportunity is viewed through the lens of eternity.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Let’s just say we’re coming in hot this week before Christmas on Pardon the Mess!  We’ve got worship leader, songwriter, mom, and wife Kari Jobe with us today.  I’m guessing when she began leading worship in her church at thirteen years old, she couldn’t have imagined the songs of faith she would have the opportunity to sing across the globe in the coming years. Her newest song, “The Blessing,” is no exception to the remarkable work God is doing through her voice and career.  I love our conversation today about how her parents taught her at an early age about the importance of hearing the voice of God. She shares how they would practice hearing from God and the impact that continues to have on her music today. Kari also talks about a very difficult time she experienced with postpartum depression and how she was led to audibly speak God’s truth over her home and her own life. During this hard time, God gave her a very simple truth: my nature is good. I’m struck by how much we all need that same reminder today—that God’s nature is good, even when the things around us feel bad.  As you’re running all of those last-minute Christmas errands, tune in for this great conversation with Kari Jobe!   And then go put her song “The Blessing” on repeat for the rest of 2020.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Can I be honest for a quick second?  If anyone should have a podcast that talks about parenting, it’s sweet Dorothy Wilkinson (a.k.a. my mom). She’s kind, she’s funny, she’s the best cook around, and she loves Jesus and her family like few others.  Thankfully, today she’s making her debut appearance on Pardon the Mess, and let’s just say you’re going to walk away wanting more Dorothy and less Cynthia. 🤪 As we’re praying for our kids to be marked by the Nativity this week, my mom talks about using the living room Nativity to talk about Jesus with our kids. She also encourages us to pray boldly for our kids to have a faith like Mary and a spirit that seeks Jesus like the wise men.  And then, of course, she shares a fairly embarrassing story from my childhood involving a small mix-up in the McDonald’s drive–through.  I couldn’t be more excited to introduce you to my mom today. Join us to pray for our kids!Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It may be hard to believe that one of the greatest Christian apologists of our time grew up in a home with an alcoholic father, suffered sexual abuse as a child, and made it his life’s goal to disprove Christianity in college.  It’s clear that the only explanation for Josh McDowell’s incredible impact is the Lord’s hand. What a great honor it is to have him with us on Pardon the Mess today. His work with Campus Crusade, as well as his books, have had a tremendous impact on my own life, and I know so many of you feel the same way.  Josh talks with us about the importance of teaching our kids how to defend their faith because a faith without conviction will not be sustainable in this culture. He walks us through the practical steps of addressing their hard questions while keeping an open dialogue in our conversations.  But I think my favorite part of the interview is when Josh shared this truth he’s learned over his many years of mentoring college kids through Campus Crusade: rules without relationship leads to rebellion. We can all chew on that for a good while.  Josh McDowell has addressed more than 46 million people, giving talks in 139 countries. He’s written or co-authored over 150 books, including More than a Carpenter, with over 27 million copies distributed, and Evidence that Demands a Verdict, which was named one of the twentieth century’s top forty books.  Today he’s with us, and you don’t want to miss this opportunity to hear his wisdom.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If there’s anything we need these days, it’s some good news.  Can I get an amen?    Some days I find myself mindlessly searching online for some hint of good news in the midst of all the hard.   I love how Luke 2:10 very simply reminds us that the birth of Jesus is our good news.  “But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.’” —Luke 2:10 NIV Vaccines and good health are blessings we will never again take for granted, but the only lasting good news comes from the baby born in a manger all those years ago.  This week we’re praying our kids are marked by joy, which is especially fitting as we celebrate Christmas.  My friend Jonathan Pitts is joining us with encouragement on how to find joy in the midst of hardship. Losing his wife unexpectedly two years ago, he shares with us the “choice” in joy and how that guides him in parenting their four daughters.   Jesus is the only good news we need today.  Let’s have abundant joy as we celebrate Christmas and pray the same for our kids. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy