Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

It’s double fun today with Heather MacFadyen AND Kay Wyma joining us on Pardon the Mess.    Kay and I talk with Heather about her new book, Don’t Mom Alone, and all the reasons it’s critical we seek community as we raise our kids.    Some of my favorite topics we hit are: Ways to find our people and raise our kids in community  Why we struggle to let others in when life gets messy  Tying our worth to our kids’ performance The myth that there’s a “perfect Mom” formula    I’m so excited for Heather’s book that’s out THIS WEEK! So take a quick listen to our conversation and then go grab a copy so you “don’t mom alone” (see what I did there?). Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—it’s hard to think of a list of attributes our kids need more than those listed in Galatians 5:22–23.   Thankfully we’re spending this entire week praying the fruit of the spirit over our kids. As we do so, it’s important to remember that the fruit of the spirit isn’t something we’re simply hoping they will work harder to accomplish; but instead we’re praying it’s evident in their lives because the Holy Spirit is present and guiding them to live as God calls.   If you haven’t already, can I encourage you to memorize these verses this week? Even better, memorize them as a family. I’ve found so many times in my life that the scripture I’ve memorized naturally comes to mind at the perfect moments because I knew the verses, and the Holy Spirit directed me to their truths.   Thank you for praying with us each week! I’m overwhelmed by the response from parents just like you who want nothing more than kids who love and follow the Lord. These days matter and praying for our kids is significant. Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“I’ve been raised in a family where telling people about Jesus is as common as drinking water.”—Rachel Ruth Graham Lotz   If you’ve ever wondered about the legacy Billy Graham left for his family then the quote above pretty much says it all. I don’t know about you, but in my house there’s a lot of things happening as common as drinking water, but it’s not telling people about Jesus. 😫  Either way, I’m so honored to have Anne Graham Lotz (Billy Graham’s daughter) and Rachel-Ruth (Billy Graham’s granddaughter) joining us today on Pardon the Mess. I had the opportunity to hear Anne speak many years ago, and the authority and wisdom with which she spoke is still with me today.  Rachel-Ruth and Anne talk have some great insight for us today relating to:   The importance of being faithful in your highest place of influence The biggest faith challenges our kids will face in their lifetimes  Four critical facets for passing the baton of faith to our kids Walking the hard teenage years well as families  Anne and Rachel-Ruth also share practical ways to study the Bible, so be sure and check out the resources I’ve linked below. I can’t wait for you to hear this powerful conversation! Jesus Followers by Anne Graham Lotz and Rachel-Ruth Lotz Wright  Anne’s guide for studying the Bible  Anne’s website and other free resources    Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re a month into praying for our kids, and it’s not too late if you are just now jumping in! Each Monday morning we will pray an attribute of our faith over our kids with a short 10 minute podcast guiding us as we do it. It’s fast, it’s intentional, and it’s so important we cover our kids in prayer each day.  This week we’re praying for our kids to have self-control and . . . well—there ain’t a one of us who couldn't use a little bit more of it. For example, please refer back to a few weeks ago when my youngest ingested a magnet and a marble within a few weeks. Bless it child, self-control!  The thing about self-control is that it’s most noticeable when you don’t have it. And since our faith is typically displayed through our actions and not our words, self-control becomes pretty important in our daily lives. So this week we’ll be praying for our kids to have self-control in their words, friendships, dating relationships, electronics, marriages, finances, and everywhere in between.  Can’t wait to pray with you!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How do we raise sons of courage and character? That’s the million dollar question we’re tackling today on Pardon the Mess.   Jon Tyson, Pastor of Church of the City New York, spent six years shaping, guiding, and mentoring his son from adolescence to adulthood believing intentionality was the key to raising Godly men in today’s culture. As a part of this journey with his son, he learned practical ways for fathers (also equally applicable to mothers) to shepherd their sons and maximize this pivotal time in their lives.  Yes, it all comes down to intentionality and discipleship which is why you’ll love his advice on doing it well even in the middle of our crazy schedules. And then there’s a pretty significant mic drop when Jon throws down some of the greatest parenting wisdom I’ve heard in a long time: A huge “yes” to raising our sons intentionally requires a million “noes” to the smaller things. (Gosh that’s something I wish I would have embraced a long time ago.)   Don’t miss our discussion on the shifts boys need to make between adolescence and adulthood and the absolute must of giving them our blessing before sending them off to do great things.   You’re going to love Jon Tyson, and I’m so grateful you’re with us today!Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If anyone can appreciate the impact influencers have in our world today, it’s our kids. They are inundated with social media influencers telling them what to buy, how to look, and what to do in given situations. But despite the somewhat negative perception we may associate with our culture’s “influencers,” as Christians we are called have influence in our own circles and our kids are too.  Today we’re praying that our kids will visibly and authentically live out their faith, and in doing so draw others to him. It’s no coincidence that they are part of the teams, friend groups, and clubs they are in—it’s by design. So we’re praying that as they go about their days they will have influence through their words, conduct, love, faith, and purity (1 Timothy 4:12). Even though our kids will likely (hopefully) never have the influencer status of a Kardashian, we’re reminded that it’s the significance of the message not the size of the audience that matters. Let’s pray they are faithful influencers of the gospel message that our world so desperately needs.Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We are coming in hot this week with Jackie Hill Perry. She’s chatting with us about holiness, what that even means, and why God’s holiness matters to our everyday lives.   If you haven’t heard of Jackie Hill Perry, or JHP as I like to call her (not really, but kinda wanted to) you’re missing out. She’s been given the opportunity to share her story in all the big places and has an amazing testimony of working through same-sex attraction issues of her past, and the role God’s holiness has played in redefining who she is today.   There’s so much you won’t want to miss, but here’s a few of the topics we hit on today’s show: why awareness of God’s holiness increases our trust in him, the problem with allowing our circumstances to have the final say in our beliefs about God, how to walk in love with those with same sex attraction, using our story to point to God’s greater good, teaching our kids that how you “feel” is not who you are I’m just so grateful that we have this time today with JHP! It’s a conversation you won’t soon forget. Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Praying fearlessness over our kids will likely result in a little bit of fear in our own lives—am I right? My youngest has already fully embraced the fearless life, and let’s just say it has caused me more gray hair than I care to highlight at this age. 🤪 Even so, as Christian parents we want our kids to live fearless when it comes to sharing their faith, walking in the ways of the Lord, and chasing after the God-things in their lives. I love that the anxiety and fear we face in this life is no surprise to God—he knew it was coming so he graciously gave us a Bible full of “fear not” verses. Even though there’s nothing wrong with praying for our kids’ safety, let’s go a step further this week and pray for fearlessness in our kids, knowing that the one who created them will also protect and sustain them. Click here to get a prayer journal: https://bit.ly/2Z7kdMFOur Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If I was braver I would show you a picture of my closet floor at this very moment in solidarity with all those slowly being overtaken by the clutter in their homes. But I’m not that brave, so let’s move on. Ha! Allie Casazza has been on Good Morning America, The Today Show, and a whole lot of other places talking about ways to keep our stuff from stealing our joy. Coming from a place of deep stress and frustration in her own home, she realized that what takes up our space takes up our time. She discovered she was spending all her time maintaining her stuff. Sounds vaguely familiar, right? Allie shares with us today her best tips for decluttering our houses one room at a time. She encourages us to set the intention for the room and align everything in it with that purpose (note: the intention for my closet is unclear at this time). Even if this all feels overwhelming, you’ll love her tips for small steps that will make a big difference. Don’t miss our full-service show today on ways to declutter our kids’ stuff, our own stuff, the sentimental stuff, and all the rest that’s tripping us up (quite literally).Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s finally here! Week one of our 2021-2022 prayer journal kicks-off today on Pardon the Mess. If this is your first time to join us for the prayer podcasts, here’s how it works. Each Monday morning we will release a short, ten-minute podcast praying for an attribute of our faith over our kids. We will be praying our kids are marked by things like gratefulness, purpose, patience, resolve, courage, and so much more. We wrap up each week with a time of prayer—and, let's just say, you won’t want to miss it.   This week as we begin a new school year, we’re praying our kids are light to all those around them. I can’t think of a more important thing to start with considering the opportunities they will have to share their faith and bring hope in a world that so desperately needs Jesus.  I’m so glad you’re joining us to pray for our kids this year—there’s truly nothing more significant we can do for them each day. And please consider sharing this with a friend and inviting them to join us in praying each week! It’s perfect for small groups, MOPS friends, and anyone/everyone that wants to pray for their kids with new resolve each week.Our Sponsors:* Check out Everyday Dose and use my code MESS for a great deal: https://everydaydose.com* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy