Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

I’m so happy to have Sean McDowell with us again today! We’re talking about practical ways to equip our kids to intellectually defend their faith. Sean is an author, speaker, and well-known apologist in today’s culture (just like his dad, Josh McDowell).    Sean and I talk about the confusing messages our kids are facing and how these messages are different from the ones in the past. We also talk about how to teach our kids to be bold in speaking up for their faith… with compassion and grace.    There’s so much you don’t want to miss on today’s show with Sean McDowell—he’s a big deal and you’ll love all he has to say about apologetics, preparing our kids intellectually, and his new book that is a great resource for our teens!    P.S. If you haven’t purchased our new prayer journal, now is a GREAT time to do that. We’re kicking off in September so grab your copy now!    Resources from today's show:  A Rebel’s Manifesto A Parent’s Prayer Guide: Key Psalms to Pray Over Your KidsOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Is your face melting off from the heat? We used to just call this ridiculous weather “Texas in July.”  But the odds are if you’re in the United States or Europe, you’re doing a little bit of sweating right alongside us. Not to mention, if you have kids home this summer and you didn’t plan enough activities, there’s some sweating involved with that too.    Thankfully we have Scarlet Hiltibidal with us today. She’s an author, speaker, and mom who knows what it’s like when you’re trying to be everything to everyone. She found herself feeling like “the worst person in the world” after years of hustling, striving, and trying to prove to God and everyone else that she was good enough.    Today she shares with us how important it is to come to terms with our status as sinners, and how to pivot from striving to chasing after the right things—the eternal things. She also gives us practical ways to defeat the lies we struggle with and stand on the truth we find in Jesus.    Can’t wait for you to hear from Scarlet this week! And then stay tuned because we have some awesome shows coming your way to prepare us for back to school. Stay cool!    Resources from today's show:  You’re the worst person in the world Signals: How Brain Science and the Bible Help Parents Raise Resilient Children A Parent’s Prayer Guide: Key Psalms to Pray Over Your KidsOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

A friend recently mentioned to me a podcast, Java with Juli, that has completely changed how she approaches the topic of sexuality with her kids. Fast forward to today, and Juli Slattery is joining us to talk about sexuality as it relates to our marriages, parenting, and so much more.   Now most of you know that talking about sex makes me squirm. So if for no other reason, you need to listen today because words are said in this show that have not been said in the 300+ podcasts I’ve released of Pardon the Mess. 😬   Here’s a run down of what we’re covering: Developing a deeper intimacy with your spouse Discipling your kids on the subject of sex Must have conversations with your kids around sexuality Discussions for when your kids struggle with pornography Messaging our kids are hearing from the current culture I would say this is probably a podcast to listen to solo before throwing it out for the whole fam on the way to the beach. You’ll thank me later!   Please, please take time to listen to this important podcast and then share it with others as we work to improve our conversations in our families around sexuality.    Resources from today's show:  Juli Slattery’s resources: Authentic Intimacy Ministry Java with Juli Podcast  God Sex and Your Marriage book Finding the hero in your husband A Parent’s Prayer Guide: Key Psalms to Pray Over Your KidsOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I hope everyone had an amazing 4th of July! We spent the last week in Boston on vacation and it was amazing, exhausting, and everything you can imagine from spending a week with your kids in small spaces. That makes today’s podcast especially timely (for me at least).     Today we have the privilege of hearing from Sissy Goff, a fan favorite when it comes to understanding our kids. Sissy is the Director of Child and Adolescent Counseling at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, Tennessee, and a dear friend to our show.   Sissy is unpacking some important topics to consider during the summer months, and a few issues that are probably cropping up in your home as well as mine.    Here’s a few of the things we discuss: Why our kids trigger us and how to manage it What our kids need from us this summer How to instill confidence in our kids Ways to help our kids with friendships Teaching responsibility  Ideas on entitlement and discipline   I’m so grateful you’re with us this week. You’re going to love what Sissy has to offer.   P.S. I’m so excited that our 2022-2023 prayer journal is out! Grab your copy now so you’re ready to hit the new school year running when it comes to praying for our kids. We will be praying the Psalms over our kids and it’s going to be amazing!    Resources from today's show:  More from Sissy Goff: Instagram  Raising Boys and Girls Raising Boys and Girls Podcast  A Parent’s Prayer Guide: Key Psalms to Pray Over Your KidsOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week as a part of our “best of” Pardon the Mess interviews, David Thomas is with us to talk about all things related to our boys.    Picture this: you’re picking up your son from the first day of school after waiting to hear all about his day. Even as he’s closing the car door you begin asking the most critical of questions like... How is your teacher? What friends are in your class? Who did you meet? Did you talk to any girls? What did you have for lunch? Are you tired? Why are you so quiet? Were the kids mean to you?    Apparently unaware of the millions of questions swirling in your mind, your son simply responds that his day was “good.” I feel your pain (like really feel your pain), and David Thomas from Daystar Counseling in Nashville does, too.    David talks with us about our boys’ developmental stages: explorer (0-4), lover (5-8), individual (9-12), wanderer (13-17), warrior (18-23). We also discuss the best ways to communicate and connect with our boys, which apparently does not involve barraging them with questions the second they get into the car (my bad).    So glad you’re with us today.    Resources from today’s show:   Raising Emotionally Strong Boys by David Thomas Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters Every Home for ChristOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re using the next several weeks to release some of the “best of” Pardon the Mess interviews. With over 300 episodes and lots of new listeners, we don’t want any of you to miss a thing.    Today we’re re-releasing our conversation with Jennie Allen on the lies we believe about friendships.   Jennie shares what she now knows about friendships, what they are, what they aren’t, and what impedes us from the God-given deep connection we so desperately need.   Here are some of the great topics we discuss when it comes to finding your people:   The different roles our friendships play  What to look for in friends  Putting yourself out there  Choosing a fire pit over Netflix   Noticing who is already around you  Decisions in our careers, neighborhoods, and family that impacts friendships    Don’t miss this much-needed conversation on the importance of our friendships and reminders that finding community is not impossible with a little bit of intentionality.    Resources on today’s show:   Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters Every Home for ChristOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I hope you’re enjoying summer and hopefully getting a little extra time with your kids!   The next few weeks we’re going to be sharing some of the “best of” Pardon the Mess interviews. Hard to believe we’ve released over THREE HUNDRED episodes! With so many new people joining along the way, we want to be sure you didn’t miss some of our favorite interviews.    Today we’re re-releasing our conversation with licensed psychologist Ken Wilgus, and he is talking with us about parenting teens.    If you don’t have a teen yet, no worries, because you can never prepare too early for navigating the treacherous waters of adolescence (just kidding—kind of).   Dr. Wilgus shares his ideas behind “planned emancipation,” the strategy of preparing our kids for adulthood by carefully and progressively letting go of our control in key areas of their lives.   We talk about this in the context of giving freedom in the music they listen to, the friends they pick, and even the state in which they keep their rooms.   Glad you’re with us today!   In this with you,    Cynthia Yanof | Pardon the Mess    Resources from today’s show:   Feeding the Mouth that Bites You book   Feed the Mouth that Bites You podcast    Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters Every Home for ChristOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Imagine having seven children and living in an RV. I know, I can’t either. Stephen and Amanda Miller are doing just that and today we get a sneak peek into their lives!    In his new book, Art of Getting it Wrong, Stephen reminds us that our failures are not final, and that it’s in those same failures where we learn to live courageously. It’s so easy to think our worth is equal to the sum of our successes and failures, but Stephen and Amanda help us dispel that notion and encourage us to follow God’s lead.    We also talk about adoption and finding God’s calling in our lives, and the Millers detail how God is using YouTube and their millions of downloads (literally) to point people back to him.    Thankful to each of you for joining us and can’t wait for you to hear from the Millers!    Resources from today's show:  The Art of Getting it Wrong The Miller Fam YouTube Helping Moms Raise Confident Daughters Every Home for ChristOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hey Friends, I often get questions on books I would recommend for our kids and honestly, more often than not, I draw a blank.    That’s why today’s bonus episodes of Pardon the Mess are dedicated to some of our very favorite authors and the children’s books they have written. These are books you can trust and your kids will love. Below you’ll find overviews of the books as well as links to the podcasts where we get the behind the scenes scoop with the authors.    Let’s start with our younger kids (ages 4 to 8) and a conversation I had with Tricia Goyer and Amy Parker about their wonderful book, The Grumbles: A Story about Gratitude. Gratitude is a much needed quality in our kids, and this book (and our conversation below) provides great reminders for summertime.   Another great book for our littles is Claire and Anna Avidon’s, I Can Do Hard Things. These two ladies chat with us about refinement, perseverance, and encouraging our kids to take the hard road when God calls us to it.    For our older kids (think ages 8-12), there’s a great devotional by Sarah Humphrey and Amy Parker called Solomon Says Devotional: 100 Days of Wisdom from the World’s Wisest King. Based on Solomon’s life, the book offers amazing lessons on peer pressure, finding your voice, living in confidence, and so much more. Sarah gives lots of wisdom in our conversation, so don't miss it.    My last recommendation in this bonus episode is for girls ages 8-12, and it’s all about friendships. The ladies from The Ruth Experience remind us of our need for deep friendships  and the importance of being present, not setting up artificial boundaries, and being willing to invite others into our lives. Their book, 100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls is a great one for helping our girls navigate friendships.    I hope these resources are a huge help to you! Grab a book and guide your kiddos well this summer.    Resources from today's show:    The Grumbles: A Story about Gratitude by Tricia Goyer and Amy Parker.    I can do hard things by Anna Avidon and Claire Avidon.    Solomon Says Devotional: 100 Days of Wisdom from the World’s Wisest King by Sarah Humphrey and Amy Parker    100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls: A Devotional by Julie Fisk, Kendra Roehl, and Kristin Demery. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hey Friends,   I often get questions on books I would recommend for our kids and honestly, more often than not, I draw a blank.    That’s why today’s bonus episodes of Pardon the Mess are dedicated to some of our very favorite authors and the children’s books they have written. These are books you can trust and your kids will love. Below you’ll find overviews of the books as well as links to the podcasts where we get the behind the scenes scoop with the authors.    Let’s start with our younger kids (ages 4 to 8) and a conversation I had with Tricia Goyer and Amy Parker about their wonderful book, The Grumbles: A Story about Gratitude. Gratitude is a much needed quality in our kids, and this book (and our conversation below) provides great reminders for summertime.   Another great book for our littles is Claire and Anna Avidon’s, I Can Do Hard Things. These two ladies chat with us about refinement, perseverance, and encouraging our kids to take the hard road when God calls us to it.    For our older kids (think ages 8-12), there’s a great devotional by Sarah Humphrey and Amy Parker called Solomon Says Devotional: 100 Days of Wisdom from the World’s Wisest King. Based on Solomon’s life, the book offers amazing lessons on peer pressure, finding your voice, living in confidence, and so much more. Sarah gives lots of wisdom in our conversation, so don't miss it.    My last recommendation in this bonus episode is for girls ages 8-12, and it’s all about friendships. The ladies from The Ruth Experience remind us of our need for deep friendships  and the importance of being present, not setting up artificial boundaries, and being willing to invite others into our lives. Their book, 100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls is a great one for helping our girls navigate friendships.    I hope these resources are a huge help to you! Grab a book and guide your kiddos well this summer.    Resources from today's show:    The Grumbles: A Story about Gratitude by Tricia Goyer and Amy Parker.    I can do hard things by Anna Avidon and Claire Avidon.    Solomon Says Devotional: 100 Days of Wisdom from the World’s Wisest King by Sarah Humphrey and Amy Parker    100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls: A Devotional by Julie Fisk, Kendra Roehl, and Kristin Demery. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy