Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

A discussion on being still seems especially relevant this time of year as we’re gearing up for the holidays while enjoying all the fun things of fall. Psalm 46 reminds us that being still allows us to better know Jesus. The Hebrew for “be still” means “to be weak, or let go, or to release.”    Who couldn’t use some of that this week?    We’re praying specifically that in a world that praises hard work and high achievement, our kids can be still and find peace from the grind of striving, performing, and controlling. After all, God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), and we will know him best when we loosen the reins and allow him to cover our deficits.   If Jesus used the words “be still” in Mark 4 to calm a storm and all creation instantly obeyed the very sound of his voice—I’m guessing we’d be wise to do the same. Let’s pray together for our kids today! Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Jonathan Pitts is back and he’s no stranger to Pardon the Mess. He’s an author, speaker, podcaster, and father to four daughters. Jonathan lost his wife, Wynter, suddenly to a heart condition in 2018—and he’s been learning how to wait on God in the hardest places ever since.    Today Jonathan shares his journey of walking through grief and disappointments with God. Spoiler alert: He’s also recently remarried an amazing woman, Peta, and is candid about the challenges of blended families and showing grace when it’s the last thing you want to do.    But I definitely don’t want you to miss Jonathan’s word on “moving on,” and the guilt oftentimes associated with good times that follow the hard. Jonathan always reminds me that struggling well is possible when we’re seeking Jesus along the way.    Resources from today's show:  Jonathan Pitts Otter B ThankfulOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

So often we think of persecution as something that only happens in the places where faith in Jesus can cost you your life. But persecution is actually something all of us will experience if we’re seeking Jesus and trying to live godly lives (2 Timothy 3:12).    Today we’re praying for our kids to live big enough in their convictions to experience persecution, while also leaning on God to get them through it. Whether it’s in the middle of hard and dysfunctional relationships, in lost job opportunities, or even in places of being overlooked or disqualified while pursuing the Lord—God promises peace and hope for the persecuted.    Let’s pray together for all the dark and difficult moments our kids will face, asking God to remind them that “no weapon fashioned against us shall succeed (Isaiah 54:17).”Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week we’ve got Max Lucado with us—and yes I go fan-girl and it’s super weird.   But if you can get past that, Pastor Max has an amazing word on the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives and why it matters. Here are some of the topics we cover: Why is the Holy Spirit so foreign to us? What kind of power does the Holy Spirit have? How does the work of the Holy Spirit look practically in our lives? What are we missing out on if we don’t take time to explore the Holy Spirit? And to top it all off, he reflects on being a rebellious teen (I know, right?) and gives some solid advice for when our parenting road gets tough.    There’s so much I could say, but let’s just leave it at this—it’s MAX LUCADO today and you just can’t miss it.   Resources from today's show:  Help is Here: Finding Fresh Strength and Purpose in the Power of the Holy Spirit The Telos BibleOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re praying the Psalms over our kids this school year and this week our focus is on the words we speak. And let me tell you this, nobody puts their foot in their mouth more than me. I’ve learned first-hand the power of words, oftentimes in rather unfortunate circumstances.    In Psalm 19, David prays that the words of his mouth and meditations of his heart will be found pleasing to God. He understood the significance of our words and the weight they hold, but also the role our hearts play in it. That’s a great parenting application—to pray for our kids to be so filled with the God-things that it naturally flows to their words.    God cares about our words greatly, evidenced by how often it’s mentioned in Scripture. Let’s pray this week that our kids will have a reign on their tongues and use words for Kingdom impact this school year. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Amanda Pittman is with us today and she has a VERY important message on living in confidence. A lack of confidence runs the risk of keeping us from doing the God-ordained things in our lives because we think we aren’t good enough, or gifted enough, or ______(fill in the blank) enough.    We chat about why this matters not just for our own lives, but also how our confidence (or lack thereof) impacts those around us. She identifies some of the confidence crushing narratives we believe and practical ways to overcome them.    I really, really loved talking to Amanda about parenting our kids in a way that builds their inner-confidence, teaching them to live with conviction rather than focusing on their insecurities.    This is a powerful conversation on living out the abundant life God has for our lives and our families. I know you’re going to love Amanda Pittman as much as I do.    Resources from today's show:  Stand in Confidence: From Sinking in Insecurity to Rising in Your God-Given Identity Confident Woman Co.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The last several years I’ve prayed that my kids will live interruptible lives. I’ve prayed for it because for so long, I was completely unwilling to have my own life interrupted. I like things to be planned out, organized, and on my schedule. So much so that I wasn’t open to the things God was calling me to that might “mess up” my best laid plans.    But now knowing what I know, most of God’s greatest plans for my life have come in the form of interruptions. And we see these same God-ordained interruptions in the lives of Noah, Mary, Abraham, and so many other biblical heroes.    The Psalm we’re praying this week says that God “thwarts the purposes of his peoples” in favor of his own greater plays. Why? Because his plans stand firm and impact generations to come.    So join me in praying interruptibility over our kids this week, so that God’s plans will trump any plans we make that are less than his very best. Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Let’s be honest. There’s not a one of us that doesn’t often feel like the Simon Cowell of our family having to correct, instruct, redirect, and . .  . sometimes criticize. We don’t call it criticism, but so often it feels that way for us (and definitely for our kids too).    Ken Wilgus is with us today talking about the real truth on critical parents and critical kids. We dig deep into issues of boundaries and respect, both of which are the hidden gems if we’re trying to avoid this issue.  Ken is a licensed psychologist and always a fan favorite because of his practicality and willingness to lay it out there in areas we don’t love to discuss.   We also talk about the real truth behind overscheduling our kids as well as why we continue fighting parenting battles not worth fighting.    I’m so glad you’re exploring the “real truth” with us this fall, it’s always more fun when we’re all in it together!   Resources from today's show:  Dr. Kenneth Wilgus Feeding the Mouth That Bites YouOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

There’s a lifetime worth of banter in Christian circles around the question of being “good enough.” This week we’re laying it down and considering Psalm 27 as David speaks into this question while hiding out because his life is in jeopardy.     He calls God his light (hope), his salvation (rescuer) and his stronghold (deliverer). Nowhere does he evaluate his own value or abilities, but over and over again he refers back to God’s. Yet maybe the greatest words he writes, and those we can be praying for our kids, are his heart’s desire to “dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”   I’m praying this week for our kids to flip the “not good enough” script and trust that God is more than enough for all they face today and each day. Join me in praying for your kids and trusting God to fill the gaps where our parenting skills inevitably fall short.Our Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I hope you’re enjoying our real truth series as much as I am.    If I’m honest, most of the real truth topics we’re covering are areas of my life that could use a little bit of attention, and I’m guessing you’re dealing with the same things too!    Today is no exception as we visit with Gary Thomas, the King of Marriage. I mean, perhaps “King of Marriage” is not exactly in his bio, but when you write books like Sacred Marriage and Making your Marriage a Fortress, you’re pretty much royalty where I’m from.     We’re talking today about the many things threatening our marriages and how we prepare today for what may be a struggle tomorrow. If for no other reason, you can’t miss today because Gary has the best encouragement for pursuing emotional attachment with our spouses even when life happens and there’s barely a moment to spare.    We also have a great discussion on finances in our marriages, which pretty much lives in the top ten of problems married couples face.   I’m so thrilled to have Gary Thomas back with us today, and I know you’re going to love him!   Resources from today's show:  Making your Marriage a Fortress Helping Moms Raise Confident DaughtersOur Sponsors:* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com* Check out Mr. Pen and use my code MESS10 for a great deal: https://mrpen.comPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy