Intentional Performers

Michael Bungay Stanier helps people know they’re awesome and they’re doing great. He’s best known for The Coaching Habit, the best-selling coaching book of the century and already recognized as a classic. His new book, How to Work with (Almost) Anyone, does what it says on the label. Michael was a Rhodes Scholar and dabbles in the ukulele. He’s Australian, and lives in Toronto, Canada.   Michael had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “There is one part of me that suffers from S.O.S: Shiny Object Syndrome” (9:45). “I’m good at generating ideas” (10:05). “I don’t want to be fenced in” (10:20). “Inspiration is when your past suddenly makes sense” (10:40). “We unlock our greatness by working on the hard stuff” (11:10). “I am good creating, and specifically making complicated stuff feel more accessible and practical for people” (18:25). “I’m good at turning complicated concepts into something people can grasp” (19:05). “I think it is a choice and a deliberate act to try and stay creative” (23:50). “I know I have a lot of bad ideas” (28:40). “You should work under the assumption that most of your ideas aren’t great” (30:10). “Just putting ideas out into the world is part of the process of getting closer to a good idea” (30:20). “If you have bad ideas, it means you’re good at ideas because good ideas emerge from conversations of bad ideas” (32:10). “If you’re getting 60% of the hard decisions right, you are rocking it” (34:00). “Keep noticing the stuff you should be grateful for” (38:55). “Part of being a writer is being a great reader” (41:45). “Writing is the most distinctive expression of me as a teacher” (44:20). “I have come to know a fair number of people, but I don’t really know many people at all” (56:35). “For me, the best possible relationship is when it is safe, when it is vital, and also repairable” (1:04:55). “Talk about how you’ll work together before you talk about what you’ll work on” (1:05:20).   Additionally, you can find Michael’s website here, and also connect with him on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. You can also purchase Michael’s books, The Coaching Habit; The Advice Trap; How to Begin; and How to Work with (Almost) Anyone anywhere books are sold. Lastly, if you’d like to personally reach out to Michael, you can send him an email (teammbs@mbs.works). Thank you so much to Michael for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Laura Gassner Otting - Speaker. Author. Entrepreneur. Motivator. Instigator. Laura’s secret superpower is seeing your greatness and reflecting it back on you, so that you can get “unstuck” — and achieve extraordinary results A frequent contributor to Good Morning America, the TODAY Show, Harvard Business Review, and Oprah Daily, Laura’s 30-year resume is defined by her entrepreneurial edge. She served as a Presidential Appointee in Bill Clinton’s White House, helping shape AmeriCorps; left a leadership role at respected national search firm to expand a tech start-up; and founded, ran, and sold her own global search firm, partnering with the full gamut of mission driven corporate and nonprofit executives. Laura is turned on by the audacity of The Big Idea and that larger-than-life goal you just can’t seem to shake. She’s an instigator, motivator, and provocateur, and she’s never met a revolution she didn’t like. Just ask her enduringly patient husband, two almost-grown sons, and two troublesome pups with whom she lives outside of Boston, MA.   Laura had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “It is amazing and exciting and humbling and wonderful when we achieve something we didn’t know we could achieve” (6:30). “There are seasons of our lives” (10:40). “We define success as bigger, better, faster, more, but if we’re doing that we’re always getting trapped in the ‘it’s not enough’” (11:30). “There is an endpoint to each of our periods of hustle” (12:10). “We need to give ourselves a little bit of expansiveness on the definition of our potential (17:35). “I won’t take a meeting with my assistant unless she has an agenda for the meeting” (27:05). “If the meeting doesn’t end with a “what do we do now” then everybody forgets about it and it’s a waste of time” (27:35). “I have decided that in parenting you basically get to make one decision… you either get on their bus, or you get run over by their bus” (30:25). “I’m a punch in the face wrapped in a warm hug” (39:50). “I am that person, I’m just not always that person” (41:30). “It’s really important to figure out who we are when we’re at our best” (41:35). “I think we have to figure out who our alter egos are and all the different forms of our lives” (43:20). “I might be center stage, but the audience is the star” (45:00). “If all of these people are intimidated by me, I can shock them when I show some vulnerability” (49:15). “As a leader, I think there is a real intentionality with how we set the culture, how we show up, what we look like, how we put ourselves together, the respect we show our colleagues” (52:10). “We should just be us” (55:55). “I’m 100% public with 40% of my life” (56:30). “I am at my core a mother, a daughter, and a sister. But I’m also an athlete and a writer” (1:02:10).   Additionally, you can check out Laura’s website here and find out more about her book, Wonderhell, here. You can also follow Laura on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok. Lastly, you can find a link to the Limitless Life Assessment here. Thank you so much to Laura for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Cate Luzio spent two decades in financial services leading global multibillion-dollar businesses. During this time, she also led many of the institutions’ women’s networks and saw the disproportionate number of men to women and women of color in the senior ranks. She recognized the problem was a lack of investment and development of talent in the female pipeline, rather than a lack of talent itself. This observation sparked a new direction for Luzio’s own trajectory. In a sharp career pivot, she launched Luminary, a gender inclusive, global professional education and networking platform created to address the systemic challenges impacting women across all industries and sectors. Luminary's mission - and Cate's - is to help women and our allies see a path forward by arming them with the tools, resources, and community to navigate their paths -- regardless of their professional journey.   Cate had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “I wanted men to be part of the conversation, learn from the conversation, be educated” (7:20). “If I can help empower all [not just women], then that’s the best-case scenario” (7:40). “Our mission is to advance women in the workforce regardless of professional journey” (8:05). “We are a join now community. There’s no application… I don’t want to be exclusionary; I want to be inclusionary” (10:00). “For a male, there’s a lot of opportunities to get involved [with Luminary]” (11:30). “I wanted all voices around the table” (13:25). “We’ve got to make sure more and more men are attending our workshops and conversations” (15:50). “If you feel like this is a community for you, be a part of it” (16:50). “I didn’t learn in my career by being part of one group. I learned by being parts of lots of groups and big organizations” (22:30). “There’s a program out there for everyone. You’ve got to individualize it” (22:40). “As a businessperson, you have to be open to all ideas” (25:45). “I have always taken risks in my career” (27:00). “You can’t control everything” (29:10). “You have to be okay with [the fact that] you don’t know everything” (29:25). “When I’m backed against the wall, I’m going to continue to come out swinging” (31:00). “If somebody tells me no, I look at that as a maybe. I’m a relentless person that will never give up if I believe in something (31:10). “Our careers are not static” (33:55). “I look at everything through a return-on-investment lens” (41:45). “You’ve got to have boundaries” (43:10). “I want my experiences, the experience I’ve taken from others, what I’ve learned, to impact someone else” (48:40). “Whether 500 people walk away with impact or 1, it doesn’t matter to me. Because someone is walking away with impact and actionable advice they can apply to their life” (48:45). “There’s never a full replacement for being in real life” (52:05). “People just want to connect” (52:45). “It’s the customer’s choice, and as long as we’re adding value and impact they will stay” (54:50). “Everything we do is taking feedback and listening, and then making those decisions, because if it’s our way or the highway it will not work” (58:10). “I look at everybody as a potential mentor and coach” (1:05:30).   Additionally, you can find the Luminary website here. You can also follow Cate on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn. Lastly, you can check out articles written by and about Cate in Fortune, Entrepreneur, and Business Insider, as well as a podcast with her via Bloomberg and a video featuring her in Cheddar. Thank you so much to Cate for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Chris Voss has an extremely impressive resume and bio. He’s used many years of experience in international crisis and high-stakes negotiations to develop a unique program that applies globally proven techniques to the business world through his company, which is called The Black Swan Group. Prior to 2008, Chris was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI, as well as the FBI’s hostage negotiation representative for the National Security Council’s hostage working group. During his career, he’s also represented the US Government as an expert in kidnapping at two international conferences sponsored by the G8. Before becoming the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator, Chris served as the lead crisis negotiator for the New York City division of the FBI, and he really was in some precarious negotiations and he talks a lot about those experiences in his wonderful book, which is called Never Split the Difference, which has sold over two million copies. Chris was a member of the New York City joint terrorist task force for fourteen years; Chris has been in the weeds, in the trenches, fighting against some of the toughest, most difficult stuff that our country has faced. During his 24-year tenure, Chris has really experienced so many different situations. He’s trained not just on the field and in the trenches, but he’s also gone to Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School so he could learn more about negotiation. He’s also been a teacher; he’s taught business negotiation in MBA programs as an adjunct professor at the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business, and at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business. In addition to that, he’s gone all over the world to teach as a guest lecturer from places like Harvard University to the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, and even to places like Germany to teach what he’s learned along his journey and his experience. In today’s conversation, Chris will talk about experiences as a negotiator, whether it’s kidnapping or whether it’s something in your business, and I even get into negotiation with my children. I think you’ll find that he’s definitely someone who’s had applied experience, there’s no question about that, but he also loves to read, he loves to listen to podcasts, he loves to learn from science and research; Chris is this amazing blend of authentic, real, street smart, coupled by a humility and a strong, strong desire to learn that I think you will connect with. I know you’re going to learn from Chris, I certainly did.   Chris had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “Nobody is going to be great at negotiation first thing in the morning” (8:30). “Mirroring works great with kids of all ages when you’re trying to get them to talk” (8:50). “’No’ makes people feel safe and secure” (9:20). “People are smarter when they’re laughing and they’re having a good time” (9:45). “Trying to get people to say ‘yes’ is a bad idea” (11:10). “’Yes’ is nothing without ‘how’” (14:15). “Open-ended questions are designed to create thinking, not to get an answer” (16:00). “Helping people get better. Helping people solve their problems. Helping people accelerate their lives. [That’s what excites me].” (18:40). “What people don’t say is as important as what they do say” (19:10). “Sniff out the people that are trying to cut your throat, trying to exploit your interests, and walk away” (21:10). “Best chance of success means you’re not always going to be successful” (22:30). “When things go bad, you have two choices: you can grow, or you can quit” (22:35). “I don’t think you really learn anything when you win” (24:20). “You can’t read enough. You can’t learn enough. You can’t listen enough” (27:15). “High IQ people have trouble being good negotiators” (28:40). “Curiosity is a superpower” (29:45). “You’re 31% smarter in a positive frame-of-mind” (29:55). “It’s impossible to be curious and in a negative frame-of-mind at the same time” (30:05). “Empathy is really about demonstrating understanding” (35:45). “Empathy is not about liking or agreeing with the other side” (36:35). “Data improves design. We execute and learn constantly” (43:10). “Someone once asked me ‘Describe yourself in three words.” And my respond was “deeply flawed human” (45:05). “[Listening skills] are perishable” (45:45). “Compromise is lazy. Compromise is not collaborative” (46:55). “Don’t let your ego get in the way of a better idea” (47:30). “Never be mean to somebody who can hurt you by doing nothing” (58:25).   Additionally, you can purchase Chris’s book, Never Split the Difference, anywhere books are sold. You can also find the website for the Black Swan Group here, where you can find a ton of information and also sign up for a free newsletter. Lastly, you can follow Chris on Instagram as well. Thank you so much to Chris for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Jackie Insinger is a best-selling author, keynote speaker, and a sought-after leadership and team dynamics consultant. Jackie combines the science of positive psychology, which we talk a lot about in today’s conversation, with revolutionary tools and programs to help leaders increase authentic connection, performance, and fulfillment. Jackie works with teams to build a culture of trust, while guiding them to become more aligned, communicate more effectively, collaborate with ease, and support each other more efficiently. Her trainings lead to measurable increases in productivity, performance, and engagement within an overall enhanced culture. In turn, she hopes they see a positive ROI for the company’s bottom line. Jackie cares about the individual, but she also cares about teams and cultures, and at the end of the day how can we improve performance of our organizations. She has a psychology degree from Duke University and a master’s from Harvard. She has worked with individuals and teams that have positively impacted thousands of people and businesses throughout the world. She’s been featured in Forbes, Inked Magazine, Entrepreneur, Fast Company, California Business Journals, CEO Worlds Magazine, HR.com, and many other outlets. Her book Spark Brilliance, which we talk a lot about in today’s conversation, has hit best-seller in five different business categories. I think you’re going to find this conversation to be refreshing. Jackie is authentic; she shares some of her own personal story, some of her own personal challenges, and how that adversity has shaped how she’s helped see the world. You’re going to find Jackie to be upbeat and positive, but she also combines that with depth and an authenticity that makes her extremely relatable.   Jackie had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “Emotional contagion is the spontaneous spread of emotions from person to person or through a group, which could be good or bad depending on what we’re spreading” (5:15). “As a leader, you can inspire an outlook on the layer below you and the layer below them with just how you chose to show up in a meeting, in a moment” (5:50). “How we show up to our lives in any relationship will spread to the people around us” (6:00). “When you’re in a remote working environment, how the leader shows up in the meeting will determine that emotional state and that outlook that people take on the rest of the day until that next meeting” (7:50). “You can avoid something. It doesn’t mean it’s not there” (11:20). “Emotions are there for a reason. They’re there to indicate something to you” (11:45). “No emotion is a bad emotion” (12:05). “The more I honor and pay attention to [negative emotions], the less scary they are” (13:50). “When you look at the emotion before it becomes a big deal, sometimes you can have the thing not become a problem” (14:45). “Avoiding conflict as a coping mechanism became ingrained in me” (20:35). “That fear state, even though it wasn’t the ideal state, gave me the drive and the fuel to move my life forward in really positive directions in a very accelerated way” (22:55). “I was driven from a fear state. And I’m so grateful for that because that’s not often what happens from a fear state” (25:45). “How do you give [your kids] a scaffold, but not start them too far ahead where they don’t have to learn?” (32:30). “Gratitude is the quickest way to change your brain. And it’s proven [through MRI studies] to change your brain” (39:00). “Every night before bed, [everyone in our family] says three things we’re grateful for” (40:00). “If you’re not curious, you can’t create those authentic connections, you can’t have the same level of effective communication” (46:20). “As a leader, the number one skill we need to tap into is curiosity” (46:40). “There’s a huge value in sitting down and having a conversation” (52:20). “The goal isn’t to get back to normal, because the absence of sadness is not happiness. The absence of sickness is not health. The absence of burnout is not thriving. Normal is a baseline where all of the good stuff starts” (59:45). “I think of the science of happiness as a limited term that diminishes the power of positive psychology” (1:01:35).   Additionally, you can follow Jackie on LinkedIn and Instagram and check out her website here. You can also connect with Jackie via email (Jackie@SparkBrilliance.com). Thank you so much to Jackie for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Annie Murphy Paul is an acclaimed science writer whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Boston Globe, Scientific Americans, Slate, Time Magazine, and The Best American Science Writing, among many other publications. She’s the author of three books, including Origins, which was reviewed on the cover of The New York Times Book Review and selected by The New York Times as a notable book. She’s also the author of The Cult of Personality, which was hailed by Malcolm Gladwell in The New Yorker as a fascinating new book. Her latest book is The Extended Mind, which we get into quite a bit in today’s conversation. Annie has spoken to audiences all over the world about learning and cognition. Her TED Talk has been viewed by about three million people. Today we do a deep dive certainly into all of Annie’s work up until now, but we really do a deep dive into the science of creativity, which is what Annie is most curious about at the time of this recording. We get into a variety of topics in today’s conversation. Annie is someone who deeply cares about research and science, and she is an amazing writer.   Annie had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “You always want to move on to the exciting next thing” (5:40). “Learning and creativity are related” (5:50). “We’re all creators” (6:15). “Creativity, for kids and for adults, is how we learn. We’re experimenting, we’re trying out new things and seeing what happens” (6:30). “Creativity is an expression of aliveness” (6:45). “Researchers are repeatedly demonstrating that creativity is a skill that can be taught” (9:20). “Creativity and curiosity are messy” (12:10). “There’s an organic order in the material I’ve collected. I just need to find it” (17:00). “We’re exploiting ourselves to death” (20:20). “I just want to feel. I want to have new experiences. I want to put myself in new situations where I can see myself in a new light” (21:40). “Happiness comes and goes, it’s not under our control. But seeking out new experiences that make us feel alive, that feels so important to me following this enforced confinement put upon us by the pandemic” (19:55). “The mind is almost like what the brain is able to do with itself. The extended mind is saying there’s a lot more we can do with our brain than just cogitate inside our skulls. We can actually, with our minds, reach outside the brain” (29:00). “’How should we live?’ is the most interesting question these days” (30:55). “Creativity is one of the highest expressions of being human” (31:30). “So often, what we assume and what we expect and what we think we know is wrong” (32:20). “The way we interpret or understand reality is often mistaken. We need science to show us that” (32:35). “We humans have elaborated on those basic instincts we share with animals” (35:00). “The movement of our hands is thinking. It’s part of the thinking process” (37:05). “Tuning into the body can be a primary source of information without tuning into words alone” (42:40). “I came to understand the extended mind as a way we transcend the limits of our biological brain” (44:45). “Bringing the world into your thinking is such an essential aspect of creativity” (46:00). “The world is affecting us even before we’ve been born” (48:35). “Once you’re a parent, you see the world in a different way” (51:40). “The point of writing a book is to stimulate change” (59:15). “We think in terms of metaphors” (1:00:25).   Additionally, you can purchase any of Annie’s books anywhere books are sold. You can also find her TED Talk here, her website here, and follow her on Twitter here. Thank you so much to Annie for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

I’ve been a fan of Kelly McGonigal for quite some time now. Her work has been shared with my clients over the years. Her TED Talk, which came out in 2014, titled How to Make Stress Your Friend, has over 30 million views, making it one of the most viewed TED Talks of all time. Not only is she a great speaker, she’s also an incredible writer. Her books, The Willpower Instinct and The Upside of Stress are fantastic. Her latest book, which is called The Joy of Movement explores why physical exercise is a powerful antidote to the modern epidemics of depression, anxiety, and loneliness. Kelly works as a health psychologist, and she talks a lot about today the power of impacting people, not just with her books and her TED Talk, but also on a one-on-one level as a mentor. She’s also an exercise instructor, and as a health psychologist she specializes in understanding the mind-body connection. Kelly is somebody who loves to work with people, she cares about connecting with humans, she also is a lover of animals; she carries multiple identities, and we talk about those identities in today’s conversation. Additionally, she has been successful in her career, and yet the conversation starts with her talking about her definition of success and of achievement; it may be different than what you might guess or how you might define success and achievement.   Kelly had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “Because I said something that someone needed to hear or I created an experience that gave someone hope, that’s number one [in terms of how I define success]” (5:45). “I also define success by being able to do things and spend my time on things I love” (6:05). “I’m highly motivated to live a life where I get to engage with activities and ideas that make me happy or make me passionate” (6:15). “I just love teaching movement, and especially dance. And I wanted to make that a core part of my identity broadly” (7:55). “That’s my orientation to life: to try to show people that if you are in a place that feels hopeless and difficult and you are struggling, there are things you can do that will help you also experience meaning and purpose and growth and love and contribution” (9:10). “Being an identical twin, it’s like there is a you in a different body. But it’s still you in this really deeply connected way” (11:55). “Part of my identity is this abstract sense of connection to the people around me” (12:10). “I love the idea that there’s something in us that we’re born with and we get to spend our lives exploring what that is and expressing that” (16:05). “I love the idea that we aren’t totally blank slates and impacted by our experiences in life, because a lot of the experiences that impact us are negative” (16:15). “The point of view that I carry that has helped me through difficult experiences is feeling like who I am at my core, whether it’s temperament, biology, whatever that is, just me as a human being, that I actually am equipped to deal with stuff in life that happens that may be random” (16:30). “I love finding out what other people love and being somebody who can mirror that and affirm that and encourage that” (17:45). “I’m interested in talking to a human being about their life experience. That’s my sweet spot” (18:55). “My favorite form of stress is the stress that I feel right before I get to do something really exciting” (20:20). “If I’m doing something that matters, I want to feel some of that anxiety, some of that normal self-doubt, that is a reflection of the fact that I care” (23:20). “Stress is in you. It’s a coping resource. It’s a coping response” (24:10). “I define willpower as the ability to make choices that are consistent with your highest goals, your values, your priorities, even when some part of you wants to make a different choice” (31:15). “We have competing selves” (31:40). “If you exercise, you’re probably going to be happier, more connected to others, have more meaning and purpose in life, and better protected against depression and anxiety” (33:30). “Pay attention to the direct experience” (34:40). “It’s very easy to be influenced by our environment, by other people, and by process and structure” (36:55). “Human beings survive through connection and interdependence” (43:30). “Everything that is interesting and good about humans has to do with our relationships with other people” (43:45). “We get a lot of our value and meaning through our relationships and through our communities and our contributions” (52:10). “You either are going to spend [your time] being of service or spend [your time] being in fear” (57:00). “Your life is over when it’s over” (57:10).   Additionally, you can find Kelly’s TED Talk, How to Make Stress Your Friend, here, and you can follow her on Instagram here. Thank you so much to Kelly for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Dolly Chugh (she/her, hear my name) is an award-winning professor at the New York University Stern School of Business where she teaches MBA courses in leadership and management. Her research focuses on “bounded ethicality,” which she describes as the “psychology of good people.” She is the author of The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias (HarperCollins, 2018), A More Just Future (Simon & Schuster, 2022), and the popular Dear Good People newsletter. Dolly’s TED Talk was named one of the 25 Most Popular TED Talks of 2018 and currently has almost 5 million views.   Dolly had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “I love writing. It’s a space that’s really rejuvenating and clarifying for me” (6:35). “I think through writing” (6:45). “I’m a big fan of dumping thoughts out as unformed as possible” (7:40). “I teach on the page” (8:55). “I am learning alongside my students” (9:10). “Thinking is dynamic” (10:40). “A lot of us are looking for a way to engage that feels ongoing with the conversation” (14:30). “We would never have seen any change for the better if we were waiting for [everyone to get engaged]” (18:00). “The mantra I heard growing up was to not worry about the outcome or reward” (26:15). “Strategically, I’m interested in how to deal with people who degrade the humanity of others” (35:25). “I’m very deadline driven” (37:15). “I put forcing mechanisms on myself” (38:00). “People who had very rigid goals and people who had no goals went to the gym less than people who had a flex goal where there was a range in performance” (41:10). “Any identity I individually care about I’m going to try to defend. That’s human nature” (42:10). “One of the identities that many of us care about is being a good person” (42:25). “We don’t all have the same definition of what a good person is” (42:30). “We care about validating our identity” (43:35). “That’s what I call being goodish. Essentially having a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset” (44:45). “From a learning standpoint, the challenge mindset is a good place to be (45:05). “Sports offer such a good metaphor for life” (48:40). “Our brains are not perfect machines. They’ve evolved to do a lot on autopilot and take shortcuts” (53:30). “There’s a lot more things that benefit all of us than we realize” (57:10). “Shame refers to a bad feeling that encompasses all of who I am… Guilt refers to a bad feeling about something that I did or didn’t do. It’s not about all of me, it’s about that thing” (1:03:15). “Shame tends to lead to us being less active, less proactive, less owning of the issue, less likely to apologize, whereas guilt tends to lead to us to try to remedy the thing, be more active, be more likely to apologize” (1:03:45). “Guilt is not a bad thing. It feels bad. It feels awful. But guilt helps us in a lot of ways” (1:04:15). “Lean into the guilt and try to lean away from the shame” (1:05:00). “You can only sprint for so long” (1:05:35). “Embrace the joy. That’s going to be your superpower” (1:07:15). “I’m excited about the power of the arts to help us all move in directions that are uncomfortable” (1:09:00).   Additionally, you can check out Dolly’s website here, and follow her on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn. I’d also encourage you to purchase Dolly’s books, The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias, and A More Just Future anywhere books are sold. You can also watch Dolly’s TED Talk here. Thank you so much to Dolly for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Charles Duhigg is a best-selling author. I first found out about him from his first book The Power of Habit which is all about the science of habit formation in our lives, companies, and societies. It is a must-read if you’re interested in productivity or effectiveness or maximizing your potential. His next book, Smarter, Faster, Better is all about productivity; I highly recommend you check both of those out. In today’s conversation, we weave a lot of what Charles has learned with those books into our conversation, and we talk about his future book, his next book, which is all about connection. We talk about how Charles has come to see the world from a habit lens, from a productivity lens, and from a connection lens as well. He currently writes for the New Yorker Magazine; previously, he wrote for The New York Times. He is someone who thinks things deeply about how humans can thrive and how we can flourish and how we can be our best. He really dives deep into the science and the research whenever he is writing and sharing what he’s learned. He is someone that should be on your radar if he’s not already.   Charles had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “Your relationship with this person [who has passed away] continues for the rest of your life” (7:05). “When we think about death, we think about it as the worst thing that could possibly happen to us. And I think that that’s wrong. Everyone we know and love at some point is going to die. We might die before them. But this is, literally, just part of life. Embracing that, and saying there’s good and there’s bad, I don’t think it demeans it, I think it actually elevates it” (9:15). “In some respects, the more successful you are… the less enjoyment you get from life” (11:55). “You have to genuinely decide how you define success, and then commit to that. Embrace it and celebrate it” (12:20). “Throughout time, the people who are happiest and most successful and who live the longest are the people who have the strongest relationships” (13:45). “I’ve very deliberately started defining success as connections” (15:40). “There’s a form of contentedness that comes from intensity” (22:40). “I like to have a certain amount of intensity in my life” (23:00). “We make a choice. And then when we stop making that choice, that’s when we get in trouble. We continue acting on this decision we made a month ago, a year ago, ten years ago, without reconsidering the question” (26:30). “I spend a lot of time second guessing the choices I’m making. I commit to them when I make them [though]” (26:45). “I need to keep in touch with that part of my brain that allows me to know that it’s time to change” (28:55). “There was a time when busy and successful were synonymous” (30:35). “There are periods when you love something, and you become too busy at that thing” (32:30). “If you feel busy and you don’t know why, it’s a warning sign that you’re not thinking deeply enough” (32:45). “Saying no is very important” (39:10). “I can’t buy into the stakes around sports” (44:35). “Democracy is made up. Justice is made up. All of these things that I think are really important, they’re made-up ideas that we make true simply by believing in them” (48:00). “When it comes to conversation, one of the things that’s really important is to be less goal-oriented” (51:40). “The other people around us have huge influences on our habits and on our productivity” (52:15). “We become more productive, we become better shaped in our habits when we do it in a community, when we enlist other people” (52:25). “Most of our lives are just a series of unrelated moments. But we tell ourselves a story about our lives and we endow that story into the things we care about” (53:00). “A story only exists when there’s other people to hear it” (53:35). “Surprise is what makes reading things interesting” (57:50). “Everything about life is just about how do we take more control?” (1:06:00)   Additionally, you can find Charles’s website here. You can also reach out to Charles via email at Charles@CharlesDuhigg.com. Thank you so much to Charles for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening.

Today’s episode is going to be a little bit different than the ones we’ve done in the past. I just had an inspiring experience that I thought would hopefully make all of us think a little bit more about our own identity, our own values, our ancestors, and how those experiences and the experiences of our family members impact us and how we see the world today. I wrote a little bit and I’m going to share what I wrote, and this is the best medium I know to share important, interesting, unique information. I really hope that today is something that will make you think and inspire you to look inward and reflect on yourself. At its core, this podcast episode is about identity and how we use that identity to make a difference and make an impact in this world.   Here are some insights I’d like to share form today’s episode: “What would you do if you were able to spend time with Adolf Hitler (without any consequences) if he was around today?” (7:15). “It’s one of the best gifts I think my parents gave me and my brothers: the capacity and the ability to think critically and to have convictions in some of our thoughts, and to stay curious about those convictions” (8:15). “When [my grandmother] did talk about her experience [surviving the Holocaust], it was mainly about how grateful she was to be in America and to have the family she had” (9:10). “My grandma and her parents were the lucky ones in Hungary” (11:20). “One of the stories that always stuck with me about grandma was, upon arriving to New York and seeing the Statue of Liberty, a soldier turned to her and said, ‘You have no idea how happy I am to see that lady again.’ To which my grandma replied, ‘No, sir. You have no idea how happy I am to see her’” (12:35). “All of us have the opportunity to stand up against hate. We’re complicit when we don’t” (13:10). “What I wasn’t expecting was for my trip to Hungary to be accompanied by so much emotion” (16:25). “I’ve cried my way through Hungary. Some tears were tears of pride, and some tears were tears of sorrow. Some tears were tears of joy, and some tears were tears of anger” (16:45). “They say that trauma lives in the body. While I have lived a ridiculously privileged life with very little trauma, perhaps my grandma’s trauma was pouring out of me as I walked the streets of Hungary” (17:00). “Life can be sad, hard, and emotional. Perhaps we all need to lean into those emotions to ensure we are doing everything we can to leave this world better than how we found it” (19:20). “[My grandma] would be blown away by the young people who are teaching and helping the older generation re-connect with their Judaism without fear” (20:00). “We must never forget what happened and we must never forget that we are a team. We must support each other; have perspective on what can happen if we don’t” (20:30). “I believe life should be enjoyed and lived with gratitude in the present…. But I know I can hold more space than just joy” (21:35). “I need to carry some of my grandma’s trauma with me. It will help me step up and step out against inhumanity. I don’t want to leave my tears in Hungary” (21:50). “If you are thriving, you have a responsibility to go pour into somebody else” (22:40). “If you’re just thriving for yourself, I would argue that’s not a meaningful life” (22:50). “We all have to understand the darkness of humans. We cannot be blind to it” (24:15). “We all have to co-own our stories of the past” (25:00). “We’re all an amalgamation of our DNA and our experiences, but our stories and our ancestors are inside of us. We carry them with us” (26:05). “I’d like to challenge you to reflect on who you are, your history, your identity, and how that impacts your decisions today” (26:30). “Do you have your story, or does your story have you?” (26:50). “We must create new memories, new stories, new generations, new values, new ways of seeing the world, so that we can make this place better” (27:15).   If you’d like to connect with me further directly about this episode or anything else, you can reach out to me via email (brian@strongskills.co). Thanks for listening.