Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

I think that I might have met my match. For the last few years I've been feeling as though I'm the person who talks the most about lost queer spaces, but journalist David Kennerley might actually be ahead of me. He loves queer nightlife so much that he's gone and written a whole book about the long-lost gay scene of '90s New York City. The book, Getting In: NYC Club Flyers from the Gay 1990s, includes flyers that he collected throughout the '90s from legendary spaces like the Palladium, Limelight, Splash, and Tunnel. But out of all of these lost spaces it was The Roxy that had his heart. We caught up to talk about his book, his early days in NYC, and his journey with his queerness. Grab a copy of Getting In: NYC Club Flyers from the Gay 1990s From From From Other episodes about NYC lost queer spaces Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davidmkennerley/ Website: www.GettingInClubBook.com

This week it's time to talk about love... Now, I know what you're thinking. Who am I to talk about love when all I seem to be interested in are firey, passionate, fleeting moments on a dancefloor? Well, yeah, you've probably got a point there.... So, it's a good job that this is a conversation podcast and I have a guest to show me the way! And who is that guest? Why it is the author Neil Laird, who is currently promoting his new book 'Prime Time Travelers: a satirical MM Adventure', to tell us all about when he met his husband at the long-gone Caribou Coffee Shop in Chicago's gay village (often referred to as Boystown). And you'll be pleased to hear that I demonstrate a smidgen of growth here, asking questions and trying to understand this love phenomenon and what it all means... (baby steps! I'm getting there!) Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ancientgayhistory/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gay_history

We get assigned a lot of roles in life depending on how we look, how tall we are, which family we're born in to... Sometimes living up to these roles can be a total breeze, but other times can be an incredibly daunting, terrifying task, and overcoming these isn't in any way straightforward. And so it's always really affirming when I get the chance to sit down and talk to someone who is on the other side of all of that and has taken the time to figure themselves out and be clear on what they want and what they don't, who they are and who they're not... (I'm making this person sound a bit like the Dalai Lama here). This week's guest is Matte Namer from the band The FMs. Matte joined me to talk about The Bushwick Boat, which was an actual boat that was moored in Brooklyn, New York City, and became a party boat for over a decade. Or, as Matte described it, 'the boat with no rules'. But, this conversation is about a lot more than a big ol' boat where people partied. After all, this is Lost Spaces, the podcast about how spaces and access to community shape who we are and who we become! As well as the boat we talk about navigating family dynamics, embracing your kinkiness and surviving your 20s. If you happen to be listening to this episode on Pocket Casts, did you know that they have just unleashed a new feature and you can now rate shows directly in the app? Rating is super easy: after enjoying a few episodes of a podcast, all you need to do is tap the podcast's artwork at the top of the screen to open its details, then hit 'rate', select a star rating and enter! (go here - https://pocketcasts.com/ratings) I would be chuffed if you could rate this show! Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matt_namer/

What do you do if you think the scene isn't a welcoming place for you? If you don't feel particularly excited to be in spaces that are pumping out Top 40 chart hits and offering jell-o shots for £1 a go? Well, you roll your sleeves up and you make your own night. And that's precisely what this week's guest did (with the help of some friends, of course). Before they were a 'self-proclaimed future award winning documentary filmmaker' Ames Pennington was discovering themself in Manchester, England, and found that the gay scene there wasn't really for them. So, before long they got going with their own club night, Disco Opposite Tesco (and, just quick side note - for those outside of the UK, Tesco is a large supermarket chain). We caught up to talk about DIsco Opposite Tesco, but along the way there's this great conversation about leaping before you look, and attacking the things that terrify you head on. For those in or around London who happen to be listening to this episode on the week it is released, Ames' new film TOPS is playing as part of the Queer Fringe Film Festival this Saturday 21st September at the Rio Cinema in Dalston - https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/tops-qa-fringe Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ames_pennington_ Website: https://www.amespennington.com/

I sometimes rail against this notion of 'chosen family', and I always assumed that the reason I did this was because somewhere in the back of my head I was just jealous of other people who happened to find that and make that happen for themselves because that's not been my experience. But, I had a bit of a moment of realisation in this week's conversation. I think the reason that the concept makes me feel a bit icky is because it's almost always spoken about as this wonderful thing that everyone should aspire to, when actually the only reason it exists is due to necessity. Chosen family are there to support you when your biological family fail you. And, yes, it's amazing, and yes, people are lucky to find these chosen families, but it's almost over-romanticised and made out to be the solution to all of your problems. Or, maybe it is that i'm just jealous. Who knows? Anyway, I had this epiphany when I was talking to this week's guest, the singer/songwriter J3M. We sat down to talk about The Barn, in Toronto, Canada, and along the way we talk about being in the grips of religion, running away to the big city, and the importance of his chosen family. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/j3msings⁠

We’re going to get really cheesy this week... You probably already know that I love me some cheesy, poetic imagery. And this week I may have stumbled upon the cheesiest thing that you ever did hear. Now, we've talked about the importance of the dancefloor in finding community and being oneself, but we haven't ever spoken to someone who attributes the dancefloor as THE place where the queer scene, and their position in the queer scene, suddenly started to make sense. But that’s about to change. This week I sat down with author Miah Jeffra, who was feeling kind of so-so and disconnected from the scene when he was just going to gay bars. It wasn’t until he went to the nightclub called Backstreet which was in Atlanta, Georgia, that the world started making sense and he got to find his brand of sexy. And, yes, you read that correctly - ‘brand of sexy’. It’ll make sense once you’ve listened to the episode. I promise. I hope. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/miahjeffra/⁠ Keywords LGBTQ+, gay, advice, 1990s, queer spaces, gay bars, gay clubs, joy, sense of belonging, dancing, crushes, deep connections, queer spaces, community, connection, self-expression, technology, younger generations, embodiment, self-acceptance

So, I will readily admit that I was a bit naive when it came to the world of leather pageantry. Obviously I knew that these leather competitions existed, and that they were loosely modelled on beauty pageants, but I kind of assumed that they weren't all that serious. I just thought that people showed up, had a bit of a laugh, took a few pictures and then went home. But, I was wrong. And, I quickly learnt that when I sat down to talk about lost London space The Hoist with life coach and former stand up comedian John Pendal. John also happens to be the International Mr Leather 2003, so you can rest assured he knows a thing or two about leather pageantry. As well as excessive instances of me saying 'wow' you can expect to hear about John's sex spreadsheet, the effort he put in to preparing for the different categories of the pageant, and how he discovered his neurodiversity many years later. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnpendal.coach/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: johnpendal.com Website: https://www.leatherlondonguide.com

The lyric to that very famous 80s TV theme song is 'sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name'. Whilst I think that's true I also think there are times where you want to go where nobody knows your name and where there's absolutely no risk of running in to anybody that you even vaguely know. It's that type of space that gave this week's guest - scholar, therapist and host of the Gender Studies podcast Alex Iantaffi - the courage to actually go through the front door and start to explore their queerness for the first time. And so, in this episode, Alex takes us back to the 90s and sits us down in a corner seat in London's First Out Cafe to show us the magical, open, friendly space that made them feel welcome. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠ https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/xtaffi Podcast: https://episodes.fm/1353717550

Are you one of those people that has a crystal clear memory of where they were and how they reacted when they found out about momentous moments in history? For instance, do you remember where you were on September 11? When you first heard of the Covid-19 outbreak? Most importantly, do you remember the first time you heard Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ being played in the club? Well, if that final momentous (momentous!) occasion resonates with you then i think you’ll get a kick out of this week’s chat with fashion designer (and contestant on the reality show Sew Fierce) Terrence O'Brian Henderson, who is taking us on a journey to Club Odyssey in Lexington, North Carolina. Terrence tells me how Club Odyssey helped him rediscover his love of dance, explore his gender expression, and learn to move past some of the negative preconceptions about queerness that were instilled in him growing up. We talked about the art of not giving a fuck, the dedication needed to learn Beyoncé choreography (it's really hard!), and the perils of wearing non-stretch pants while dropping it low (I think you know how that story ends). Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/theblackbard

I was gutted, understandably, when I found out earlier this year that my favourite queer bar, The Glory, was going to close. But I also had a bunch of questions, as it wasn't closing for the same reason that so many others do (£££). In fact, the owners opened a brand new venue, The Divine, within days of The Glory closing its door. So I needed to find out more... Luckily, I got to sit down with one of the bar's owners, John Sizzle, just a few weeks after the space had closed to find out all the answers directly. Why did The Glory close? What was the decision? And, crucially, how difficult was that decision to make? Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠ https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnsizzle Key words: queer bar, business, LGBTQ+, HIV, coming out, queer scene, drag, bullying, uniqueness, resilience, queer venue, cozy spaces