Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

This episode first appeared all the way back in 2021, and here's what I had to say about it: Have you ever had someone try to coax you out of the closet by asking the seemingly innocent question ‘is there anything you want to tell me?’? Do you remember the anguish and pain of simply muttering the 3 or 4 words needed to just confirm their suspicions? Well, if you have, I have a feeling you’ll love this week’s episode. I’m talking to comedy writer and actor Lisa Haas about her very first trip to the lesbian bar Three Sisters in Denver, Colorado in the 80s. We talk about how depressing a lesbian bar can be on Christmas eve, the awkwardness of coming out support groups, and what signal your sister might be trying to send you when she offers to buy you a plaid shirt! Listen to Lisa’s podcast ‘IN HEAT: A Lesbian Comedy’ wherever you stream podcasts, and follow her on Instagram.

This episode first featured in 2021 (!), and here's what I had to say about it then: This week we are talking to David Paisley, a Scottish actor known for roles in soap operas Holby City, and River City.He is also a tireless LGBTQ campaigner, recently being acknowledged with an Attitude Pride Award for his  campaigning against the trans-exclusionary agenda of the LGB Alliance.He first moved to London when he got the role as midwife Ben Saunders in Holby City, and hated it. It wasn’t until the second time around that the city’s charms started to show themselves, and he had fun exploring the sticky dancefloors and sweaty bars of Soho. We originally caught up to talk about Ghetto, that beloved icon of the mid-00s queer scene, but, as is usual on this show, went on the scenic route, which took in other clubs such as Popstarz and Trash Palace, and some entirely unrelated conversations about funeral songs, Spice Girls, and the anxiety of controlling the playlist at a house party. 

This episode first appeared in September 2023, and here's what I had to say about it:Sometimes I feel a bit dumb (or maybe just a bit sheepish) about some of the revelations I have through doing this show, especially since we're so close to 200 episodes (eek!) and I feel like I should know it all by now...But, then, on the other hand, the fact that I'm still learning so much is part of the reason that I'm so excited to share these stories with you.And this week the thing that resonated the most is the idea that when things are at their absolute worst also happens to be the time when being in a sweaty nightclub is actually the most fulfilling....This week I was lucky enough to sit down with comedian and podcaster Sheria Mattis, and it helped me refocus on the importance of clubbing and nightlife and release. In those times of my life when things have felt so difficult and knotty and hard, being out and shocking my senses was the best way for me to recalibrate,.Oh, and before you listen to this episode - if you don't know who she is already you should probably google Rachel Maddow, because... well, we talk about her quite a lot and it's useful if you know what she looks like!

This episode was first shared in 2023, and here's what I had to say about it:You know, in all of the time that we've been doing this show we've never featured a sauna... but that's about to change!Our very first sauna is ACI, which was in San Antonio, Texas. And, showing us around is the subversive queer rapper Chris Conde. Now, Chris was a military brat, and so they moved around a lot when they were a kid. But, as a young adult they decided they wanted some stability, and so chose to settle in San Antonio. And it was here that they let go of religion, got sober, and then came out of the closet... again (?).Oooh, and for those who don't know, saunas, or bathhouse as they are commonly named in America, are places where people go for relaxation and... sex... let's be honest - it's mostly for sex. Anyway, they've kind of fallen out of fashion since the rise of the apps, but they were a huge part of queer (predominately male) culture for decades.

Greatest hits episode! This conversation was first shared in 2023, and this is what I had to say about it: One of the things that I've noticed is fairly common in people who come out later in life is just how much of a hurry they are in to experience ALL of the queer shit they've missed out on...And that is what happened to this week's guest, podcaster and voice-over artist Phil Corin, who, upon realising that they may not be heterosexual was on a mission to make their way to the New York City lesbian bar Meow Mix (1996 - 2004). And once they got in to the bar? Well, the gloves were off, but you'll have to listen to the episode to find out the whole story...In this episode we chat all about coming out tactics, lesbian pulp fiction, and.... our complicated feelings about single-gender spaces... Follow meInstagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠Support meBuy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow my guestWebsite: https://philcorin.com/⁠Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/philcorin/⁠

Greatest hits episode! This conversation was first shared in 2023, and this is what I had to say about it: So, you know I love me a story about someone running away to figure out who they are. And, this week we have a doozy. Naomi Mourra, who is Sydney’s only Lebanese, lesbian, ex-Jehovah’s Witness, comedian, first came to London in the late 90s when she was trying to reconcile the thoughts she was feeling about women-folk with the teachings of her religion. And, she got to explore at Soho's Candy Bar, a lesbian bar that first opened in 1996, but closed in 2014 due to rising rents in the area. Boo!We talk all about the magic of London, finding your bearings in a new city, and wooly jumpers... Follow meInstagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠Support meBuy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/naomimourra/⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naomimourracomedy⁠

We're revisiting some of my favourite/most memorable/most impactful episodes throughout June!Sometimes I'm really taken aback by what an absolute privilege it is to do this job, and how people can be so open and honest with me. And I think it's a real honour that I get to help amplify the stories, and get the opportunity to really examine my own queerness and how that's shaped who I am.Maybe that's all a little bit too sentimental?Let's get on with what this show is about this week. I am joined by the British comedian, Jacob Truman, who sat down with me to talk about a small-town gay bar that was in the city where he went to University.The kicker? He never had the bravery to step foot in the place.So you've probably already guessed that this one's going to be heavy, but but I promise it's a good one.We talk all about making all of your decisions from a position of fear, being too scared to come out to your identical twin brother, and what it's like to glimpse through that sliver of a window at a life that you aren't brave enough to start for yourself.Do you have any memories of Christopher’s, or clubbing from your own scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos!Follow meInstagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠Support meBuy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow my guest Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/jacobtruemanTikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/⁠⁠@jacobtrueman

It’s entirely possible that it’s just the contrarian in me, but I kind of love when I am talking to a guest who is like ‘been there, done that, do not want to go back’.Because, yes, I love hearing about queer nightlife, and how accessing those spaces helps you tap into something bigger than yourself, but it’s important not to over romanticise them. And, on top of that, it's always nice to be reminded that there are bigger and better things out there in the wild world.And I was reminded of just that when I sat down to talk to author Troy Ford, who is currently on the cusp of releasing his new book, Lamb, a book about two friends and their complicated relationship.And speaking of complicated relationships (see what I did there?), Troy had refreshing insights in to the queer world of San Francisco in the 90s, a space and time he had a complicated relationship with. As hard as he tried, he just couldn't connect with the scene and the people in it.Follow meInstagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠Support meBuy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow my guestWebsite: https://troyfordauthor.com/lamb/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrtroyfordauthor/Newsletters: https://troyford.substack.com/ AND https://qstack.substack.com/

Ok, so this just might be the most obvious statement that I've ever made. And, that's really saying something, considering all of the clangers that I come out with...But... it's kind of incredible how much our family and our early years define us. Like, so much of who I am is because of who they are. And, vice versa, I suppose. But, there's something really interesting in the messages that we chose to internalise and how difficult those are to shake off. But, like, what would happen if we just did? If we just stopped believing all of those things about ourselves that we thought were innate or hard-wired or just who we are... What if they're not who we are?Ok, ok, that's too much navel gazing. Let me introduce you to this week's guest, who sent me down this thought path. He is Brian Gryhpon, a queer neurodelightful Canadian who is a photographer, tarot card reader, and poet. We got together to talk about his days in Toronto, and how he graduated from the bar scene to start going to Club Manatee, a club that operated in the 1970s.....Follow meInstagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠Support meBuy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow my guestWebsite: http://digitalgryphon.com/text-lynx/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/briangryphon

Have you ever decided that you were going to go celibate and swear off sex forever? Probably. It happens. Now, my follow up question - have you ever promised that you'd go celibate to... oh, i don't know, let's say,,,, thousands upon thousands of evangelical christians and then felt the weight of all of their expectations upon you whilst you're still trying to wrestle with your sexuality and identity?No, I didn't think so. Me either.But this week's guest, the sex and intimacy coach, porn star, and podcast host, Alex Gay did just that, promising the world that he would remain celibate. But that was all to come crashing down when he went to Washington, DC's club Town. Follow meInstagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠Support meBuy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow my guestWebsite: https://alexxxgay.univer.se/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heyalexgayInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyalexgay