Life, Mastered with Molly Claire

Having a measure of autopilot in your business can be a good thing when it helps you automate some processes and prevents things from falling through the cracks. But it can also take a very bad turn and become extremely detrimental to your business if the wrong type of business autopilot sets in. In this episode, I tackle some dangerous kinds of business autopilots that you want to avoid. This goes hand-in-hand with another topic we’ve discussed recently: business ethics, and upholding both a high level of care for our clients and a high level of integrity. In the coaching world, due to the limited amount of regulation, it is imperative that we, as coaches, craft and maintain impeccable methods and procedures. In doing so, we can help dispel the uncertainty that (unfortunately) naturally clouds the field of coaching. It also goes a long way to avoiding the trap of bad business autopilot practices. What You’ll Learn Encouragement to reduce uncertainty and a reminder of the value you bring Automatic patterns that don’t serve us well Always going, always doing but not getting traction Autopilot Trap #1: Not questioning or evaluating your plan regularly Solutions: Identify and frequently revisit your ideal life and business vision Stop and dream Autopilot Trap #2: Running a mental “should do” checklist without action Solutions: Employ prioritization categories Analyze if what you’re spending the most time and effort on is worth it Autopilot Trap #3: Taking action on feelings without examining them Solutions: Create a questioning process Suggested questions from Molly to help you stay on track Contact Info and Recommended Resources Connect with Molly Claire The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com -- Sign up for free monthly mastery trainings! Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching Email: molly@mollyclaire.com Facebook Instagram

A few episodes ago, we discussed integrity in our coaching businesses. I believe it is of the utmost importance to uphold a high level of integrity and trustworthiness in our coaching practices, not only for ourselves and for our clients, but for the industry as a whole. Upholding acceptable practices includes not only avoiding unacceptable practices but also being intentional to choose and implement good, quality procedures and policies. In this episode, I pitch a few solutions to unacceptable coaching practices. I help you understand the problems these solutions avoid, as well as a bit on how the problems can creep in unaware in the first place. When we are conscientious of potential unacceptable practices, we can take steps to not only avoid them but intentionally replace them with excellent practices and approaches to helping our clients. What You’ll Learn Some unacceptable practices Dismissing clients’ thoughts and feelings Self-gaslighting encouragement Bait and switch (over-promising, under-delivering) Abdicating responsibility Missing the mark Ways unacceptable practices can creep in Solution #1 - Define your role Handle dissatisfaction appropriately Make space to see clearly Protect safety Hold yourself accountable Ask permission for further discussion Solution #2 - Switching modes Delineate when offering opinions versus offering expert advice Solution #3 - Identify the needs of your client Strike a proper, healthy balance between neutrality, thoughts, and feelings An example when processing grief Solution #4 - Clarify for yourself who your client is when you work with someone or do not Identify when you may not be the best person to work with a client (example: certain traumas) Help in your most powerful ways but refer out as needed Define the type of work you do: set expectations and perimeters from the beginning Contact Info and Recommended Resources Connect with Molly Claire The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com -- Sign up for free monthly mastery trainings! Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching Email: molly@mollyclaire.com Facebook Instagram

Oftentimes, thoughts creep in that we don’t realize are affecting us in a negative way. One common example is the myth, “I ought to be able to figure all this out on my own”. Thoughts like that not only place massive amounts of pressure on us, they can hinder us from growth. But the reality is that there is a lot to learn. We are all expanding our knowledge, our skill sets, our mindsets. Allow yourself to embrace that process and learn from everyone you can. It’s ideas like that one that birthed this episode. I was reflecting on how I regularly hear thoughts from my clients that are poisonous. As our brains are trying to keep us safe, tricky thoughts can sneak in and cause chaos. So if you’ve had some of these, rest assured you are not alone. They are very common. Let’s isolate and deal with some of them -- then move forward and make a difference in our businesses.  What You’ll Learn  Remove the power of poisonous thoughts Adjust perspective “I should be further along.”  Identify how you feel when you think this The trickiness of frantic action What powerful and focused action looks like Acknowledge and be good with where you are on your journey “I’m too late to the game. There are too many already in my niche. I can’t stand out.” Loss of belief in abundance Make room for individuality You be you -- don’t emulate others “I don’t know enough. Maybe after I learn more.” Confidence doesn’t automatically come from learning more People care that you can help and that you believe in them Find evidence to the contrary Contact Info and Recommended Resources Connect with Molly Claire The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com -- Sign up for free monthly mastery trainings! Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching Email: molly@mollyclaire.com Facebook Instagram

To build self-trust as we build our businesses, we need to take a look at ourselves, where we are in our personal lives, and how circumstances can bring challenges. However, taking care of ourselves and carving out time to focus on our goals can be nearly impossible at times. But when you know yourself more deeply, when you hang in there and don’t give up, when you show up and do the work -- you cannot fail. You may need to go slowly but you will succeed. Life Coach Andrea Giles has lived this truth. She speaks and coaches from the perspective of having a large blended family and having gone through the pain of marital infidelity and divorce from her first husband. In addition to her coaching business, Andrea is remarried and has 11 children (with one more on the way). She definitely knows a thing or two about building a business while being a present and amazing mother! I’m excited to have her with me for this episode to discuss how personal challenges can be turned into strength and reliable self-trust.  What You’ll Learn Defining self-trust Being okay with not always getting it right Giving yourself the freedom to seek help How self-trust permeates your entire business Honoring what you want Elevating through self-trust Building consistency and alignment Dumping guilt Developing and having peace with your solutions for how to “have both” Overcoming self-doubt Identifying painful stories from your past and making peace Getting your own head unstuck Best business decisions to move forward Jumping into what you know is right for you Grounding yourself in self-trust Shifting self-trust as your identity changes Owning the truth that you have what someone else needs Being good with going slowly Contact Info and Recommended Resources Connect with Andrea Giles “I help my clients discover for themselves what is best for them from a place of love and self-confidence.” -- Andrea Giles Andrea Giles is a professional, certified Life Coach with a coaching program designed for women in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who have experienced marital infidelity. She mainly coaches using online video conferencing, which allows her to work with anyone, anywhere in the world. Her coaching is one-on-one and for any woman who wants to take full ownership of her life and move forward towards a life she will love, regardless of her spouse’s actions.  Andrea coaches from a place of personal experience, building a strong, trusting relationship with each woman she coaches. Using both reprogrammed thinking and the tools that personally worked for her, she helps women move on from past events and learn to trust themselves and others again. Just as Andrea was able to let go of painful stories she’d carried around from her past marriage, and gain new confidence that she’s totally lovable just as she is, she helps guide other women into that same place of healing, growth and happiness.  Get Andrea’s FREE guide that will teach you the 3 biggest lies about infidelity: andreagiles.com/about -- simply scroll to the bottom and click the button marked “I want it!” Schedule a FREE coaching mini-session with Andrea: andreagiles.com/work-with-me Website: andreagiles.com  Podcast: andreagiles.com/podcast  Blog: andreagiles.com/blog  Facebook Connect with Molly Claire The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com -- Sign up for free monthly mastery trainings! Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching

In this episode, I answer your questions about Life Mastery! What do you consider to be life mastery? When you think about the concept, do you envision a big house? Owning a specific car? Enjoying perfect relationships? Or is life mastery something very different in your eyes? Through this Q & A, I hope to help you crystalize what it is for you as an individual. Listen in as I share what I personally believe life mastery is and tips for defining it for yourself. As we begin, remember: No matter your place in your journey, life is still life. It throws curveballs. Learning to take them in stride, and avoiding the self-defeating “compare and despair” trap are integral to success. True life mastery needs clarity, confidence, and inward focus to create what you want. It takes constantly realigning your business to support the life you want. What You’ll Learn Real and raw: Molly shares her own challenges Rely on resources and have a plan Q: I don’t even know where to start... I feel overwhelmed! What are some clear action steps? There isn’t just one “right” way to start Create a certainty and competency list Compile a thought list Q: I’m afraid I won’t be able to create the business I want without sacrificing time with my family. How do I do both? Become clear about your big picture Align your actions Order your top 5 priorities Q: My business is a side gig and I think I want it that way. Am I just playing it safe? Clarify the purpose of your business When you lose sight of what you really want, return to purpose Q: My family schedule is so busy... everyone relies on me… I feel frustrated by home demands -- and guilty when I spend time on my business. Help! Give yourself permission to live your priorities Expect discomfort in any shift Q: How can I commit time to work when I have little kids? There is always something that comes up and I can’t get anything done. (Even if you don’t have little kids, anything unexpected will take your time again and again.) Accept that life is life Calculate and allot flex time Contact Info and Recommended Resources Connect with Molly Claire The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com -- Sign up for free monthly mastery trainings! Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching

Ethics and integrity are paramount to a reputable coaching business and quality coaching. Due to very limited regulations, we technically have the freedom to adapt our style and the tools we use as we see fit. Unfortunately this freedom can be abused and give our industry a bad name. Coaches can get sloppy, dive into areas they aren’t qualified to help, not uphold confidentiality, or not respect materials they are using. This means that as professional coaches, we all have the responsibility to uphold high standards for our industry and build a trust. I discuss this important topic in this episode because we want to conduct our coaching with integrity. We want to build a positive reputation, be excellent examples within our industry, and uplevel the professionalism of both ourselves and our industry as a whole. After all, we are being entrusted with people’s lives and their businesses and that is not to be taken lightly. What You’ll Learn Stealing other people’s work Ethically use materials or information you’ve been given Give correct credit Know your material The danger of sharing only in part Be creative Build your own materials Keep confidentiality Share testimonials appropriately, use anonymity in outside interactions Be sensitive Treat people fairly Collaborate with fairness Contact Info and Recommended Resources Connect with Molly Claire The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com -- Sign up for free monthly mastery trainings! Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching

Building your business isn’t easy. It’s a ride of successes with joys and failures with struggles. And it’s not always easy to handle the uncertainties that arise. Quieting the fears of doubt, wondering if you’re making a difference with a client, swirling the conversation from a session around and around in your head… those are quite normal. No matter whether you’re newer to coaching or a seasoned pro, we all need encouragement to surf the ups and the downs. As you grow your business, my sincere hope for you is that you are loving it and your clients; that you are riding more highs than lows. And through it all, I hope that you’re continually upping your coaching mastery. I hope this for you because I know it is an integral part of succeeding in your coaching business and loving it even more. To help, I’ve compiled for you 10 tips focused on master-level coaching. In this episode, I give you these 10 tips and expound a bit on each one. What You’ll Learn Be where you are, practice the basics Embrace the idea of being where you are, be present Always be learning, but don’t get stuck Make connections Meet your client where they are Let go of rigidity Give yourself permission to have your own style Don’t be afraid let go and collaborate See value in others, don’t get caught in scarcity Do your own work Contact Info and Recommended Resources Connect with Molly Claire: The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com -- Sign up for free monthly mastery trainings! Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching

Uncertainty creates a vague, dark cloud of confusion. It may be uncertainty in your coaching program or the direction you should take. It may show up as doubt that you can properly scale your business or succeed long term. It may manifest as feeling overwhelmed, lacking confidence, and even feeling fear. No matter how it crops up, uncertainty is completely normal. You should expect to experience it at some point in your coaching business, if you haven’t already. Because uncertainty is normal, it’s wise to have awareness and know some action steps. Employing these will help move you from uncertainty to certainty, reduce worries, and boost your confidence. In this episode, I share three areas of uncertainty and offer ideas for converting to clarity. As you listen, remember that others often see you much more confident and capable than you see yourself. Despite your feelings of uncertainty, you have the skills and the tools to be positively impactful and help others at a high level. You are completely capable, Coach! What You’ll Learn Lack of Confidence in Your Offer Incorrect valuation; correctly valuing the outcome, not the “how” Lack of clarity in your program structure; it’s not about perfection, it’s about connection Overdelivering: creating a high-level experience, not just more things You have to be sold on it yourself first Lack of Confidence in Yourself Handling the voice of “I’m not sure this will work”; What does self-doubt feel and look like for you? Answer the “what if” questions; How will you experience and handle them? Recognize that fear is totally normal. Fear and creativity come together on the journey Are you willing to fail by default or succeed on purpose? Inaction technically is action Overwhelm as a Distraction Typically stirred up by fear, know your overwhelm indicators Get task steps specific; replace the unknown with the known Make space for your thoughts and feelings Contact Info and Recommended Resources Connect with Molly Claire: The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com -- Sign up for free monthly mastery trainings! Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching

Handling some of the emotions that surface during coaching sessions can be a delicate process. Some instances may lead you to even suspect trauma in the life of a client. What a some signs a caring coach should watch for to know if referral to a licensed therapist is needed? What can a coach do within their own coaching scope to further help a client? In this episode, Jen Taylor, a licenced trauma therapist with numerous credentials and training in multiple techniques, shares her insights and tips. As Jen and I spoke, one important point stuck out to me that Jen really felt to be most important as well. That is: the relationship a client develops with you is paramount to success. This is true whether a client is dealing with trauma or not. But since trauma is usually experienced within relationship, so can healing be experienced within relationship. So the more you can positively connect with a client, the more you can help them heal and improve their life, which is the goal of all coaching. What You’ll Learn How Trauma is Defined and some Red-Flags of Potential Trauma An unintegrated response to a physical or emotional stressor The nervous system’s overwhelm that marks trauma Belief whether or not we had agency over what happened Survival brain hijacking Emotional and physical symptoms to watch for, tracking body movements How to Tell the Difference between Trauma and Normal Life Ups and Downs How quickly does the person recover from an upset? Does the person feel overwhelmed and powerless or do they feel they have agency? Is it impacting their daily life? How to Incorporate Help Within the Scope of Coaching Help clients develop the ability to be a witness of their own cognitive, emotional and somatic experiences (often referred to as decoupling) Increase curiosity to put distance between circumstance and response Encourage regulation and staying connected with self during disregulation The Top-Down Approach Versus the Bottom-Up Approach The brain creates thoughts and feelings and sends those down to the body; but the body also creates feelings and sends them up to the brain (how it is all interconnected) Using the body as an ally instead of an enemy Staying with the emotions that are coming up, creating space How to settle into, and make use of, a sensorial response Contact Info and Recommended Resources Meet Jen Taylor, MA, LPCC Jen is a somatic trauma therapist, specializing in EMDR Therapy, Sensorimotor Therapy, and Assisted Psychotherapy. She is also a certified Synergetic Play Therapist (SPT), a Certified Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapist, and is trained in multiple techniques. She works with individuals of all ages, from children as young as two to adults in their 70s. She focuses on a mind-body approach that assists in relief from anxiety, depression, grief, disordered eating, chronic illness, and other impacts on the nervous system from trauma and stress. Jen is also a Life Coach and a graduate of The Life Coach School. Somatic Psychotherapy uses Sensorimotor Therapy that combines cognitive and body based interventions. EMDR Therapy is Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing that involves an 8-step phrase process. Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) uses the only legal psychedelic medicine available for use by mental health providers. Learn more about these techniques and Jen’s services at jentaylorpsychotherapy.com/therapy-services. Connect with Jen Taylor Website (for therapy or connecting within Colorado): jentaylorpsychotherapy.com Website (for coaches wanting to connect with Jen regarding somatic training): inbodiedwellness.com Connect with Molly Claire The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com -- Sign up for free monthly trainings! Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching

As a coach, you’re typically your own boss. Completely self-guided and self-managed, you’re without someone charting out your day. You may also have the added layer of your business being located in your home. That’s why focus of your time, focus of your energy, how productive you are, and how you manage the day-to-day are crucial. It can be too easy to lose focus and lose sight of our goals. Maybe even occasionally use home as an excuse to escape making a tough decision or dealing with doubt at work, or vice versa. I want to offer a few tips and some ways to harness focus, move consistently toward your goals, and to especially focus on the things that are most important. The positive habits and mindshifts I share with you take practice and time to come more naturally. Believe me, I’m still working on them myself. I encourage you to work consistently on them as well, because they do make a world of difference. What You’ll Learn Create a Container Around Your Time, Focus and Energy Harness the positive focus and creativity of procrastination without the normally accompanying negatives Look ahead; prepare your brain; start the juices flowing Commit to the end result: have a self-imposed deadline, set expectations, and fulfill them Halt the Cycle of Dread Move toward what you dread and take purposeful action Use the positive emotional experience of accomplishment as fuel Proper Energy Management It’s not about having more time, it’s about managing your thoughts and energy Note negative tasks and thoughts that deplete your energy; Note positive tasks and thoughts that energize you Personalize your time of day, task methods, and task order to maximize your focus, energy and productivity Contact Info and Recommended Resources Connect with Molly Claire: The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com -- Sign up for free monthly mastery trainings! Work with Molly! mollyclaire.com/coaching