Decades From Home - A Podcast About Germany

It’s never too early to start the festive cheer, and with Christmas biscuits hitting the shelves, Simon’s pleased for early Plätzchen. We take a tour the slightly odd world of the local Freibad with Nic, and we discuss the retirement of a one man bottle capping factory, and we finish by looking at water theft as a neighbours call police to settle whether rain water can really belong to anyone.

Despite decades of living in Germany between us, there is always a cultural error to be made, as Producer Simon discovers this week. After a slightly embarrassing conversation with a farmer, he brings the debacle to the show and Nic & Simon try and unpack the details. We discuss how to manage when you find yourself in an intercultural communications disaster, why language is sometimes only half the battle, and why we overestimate our own ability to understand subtle social cues across cultures.Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

We’ve discussed the topic of integration on the podcast more than a few times over the five years of the show, but how integrated do your hosts feel now that we’re bringing things to a close. Simon asks the important questions to find our how Germany we’ve all become: do we have any cash to hand, do we know how to recycle a pizza box, and can we handle the shops being closed on Sunday?We also discuss handling those scary compound nouns, the ethics of crossing the street on the red light, and what footwear choices should be combined with staring out the window at your neighbours. Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

We’ve always wondered what it’s like to rub shoulders with the great and good, and thankfully for us Simon’s here to tell us as he enjoys the corporate seats at the Allianz Arena. We find what makes a Bayern Munich buffet, meeting celebrity footballers, and how not to be a fan.We also look at what some have termed Clubsterben (the death of clubs) in Berlin which has seen Gay and Lesbian clubs close as costs increase. We also discuss the similar issues seen across hospitality, and ask whether the local government should step in to protect important community spaces. Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

It may not feel like a year, but apparently it’s time once again for Germany to go full crazy for Jugendwort des Jahres 2025!!! We look at the runners and riders, discuss the pernicious influence of English, and learn far more about the word “Goonen” than anyone ever needed to know.From words to actions, we discuss the world of tattooing to end the show. We ask Simon about his changing views on tattoos as he’s got older, whether he ever considered a face tattoo, and we discuss the curious case of a forced tattooing of a swear word and a new ruling by the Bundesgerichtshof on how to deal with the perpetrators. Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

What’s the definition of bravery? Surely it’s living in Germany and answering the phone to unknown numbers. It can be panic inducing, but it might be the purest form of conversation, and as Simon argues, it’s also a good chance to practice some German. Something that needs no German whatsoever is the phenomena of “cool” English shop names, especially hairdressers. Simon shares his list of best/worst German shop names, we discuss the fear of straight razors, and why haircuts at sea are a terrible idea. We find some time to talk about the joys of people watching in Nürnberg, and how to survive the monotony of the Landstrasse, and we finish on the world’s largest Knödel. Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

As summer continues to cut a rug through to August, we talk tourist sites, and three in particular: Neuschwanstein, Herrenchiemsee and Linderhof. Why these three? For the simple reason that they are the three newest German UNESCO World Heritage sites. Are they worthy entrants, and what does this have to do with the Great Wall of China? We find out.Summer also means school holidays, but it wouldn’t be German school holidays without a little bit of complaining. What’s boiling people’s blood? The most obvious of German annoyances, Bavaria. Yes, Bavaria, who along with their southern neighbours Baden-Württemberg, are refusing to move their summer holidays with their fellow Bundesländer. We question the Bavarian belligerence, but wonder if they might have a point after all.We finish off with another listener question…well sort of…not directly, but it does give Nic and Producer Simon a chance to have their favourite argument: Tanks vs Castles!!!!Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

There are many ways to have the perfect summer, and Nic has landed on his perfect recipe. All he needs is a few beer tents, some schlager, and the cleanest public toilets he’s ever seen. An England win in the European Championships would also help too, and we consider the chances of that happening with a review of the tournament so far.From ball kicking to treaty signing, we discuss the exciting new friendship treaty between Germany and the UK, but it have been signed somewhere with a more interesting name than Kensington? There’s still plenty of positives to enjoy, except maybe Friedrich Merz’s new stand-up routine. We also finish on the recent summer interviews from public broadcaster ARD, which faced some disruption when they attempted to interview the leader of far-right AfD. Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Living in Germany as long as we have, you sometimes forget how German things can be. As Nic finds out, all it takes is a quick reminder, or the mere mention of David Hasselhoff. On the other hand, Simon is perfectly aware he’s in Germany as he talks about his Flohmarkt victories, which of course include a lovely beer krug.From glassware to baskets, Simon introduces the newest retail dating concept as a branch of supermarket chain EDEKA play matchmaker with their customers. Can you meet the love of your life in the yoghurt section, or is that more of a fruit & veg kind of hook-uo?Finally, we finish on the miraculous story of a German backpackers survival after getting lost in the Australian outback for 11 nights. How did she manage it, and is it comparable to Nic getting lost in woods?Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

For good or for ill, Germany has reputation for steely seriousness, but if we’ve learned anything living here for as long as we have, it’s that reputation means nothing. Honestly, how serious can any country be if they don’t even make escaping from prison illegal? Luckily, Simon’s on hand to explain why jailbreaks are only human.A few weeks ago we learned of attempts to bring Volksdöner back to Germany in the form of a €3.99 kebap, but apparently some didn’t get the memo. A “24 carat gold “Dubai Döner” has gone on sale, much to our disgust. We discuss why putting gold in food is a terrible idea, and wonder if kebaps are bigger and better if you eat in rather than takeaway.Finally, we bring proceedings to a close by finding out Germany’s safest cities, and which are your hosts favourite cities in Germany.A few weeks ago we learned of attempts to bring a truly Volksdöner back to Germany in the form of a €3.99 kebap, but apparently some didn’t get the memo. A “24 carat gold “Dubai Döner” has gone on sale, much to our disgust. We discuss why putting gold in food is a terrible idea, and wonder if kebaps are bigger and better if you eat in rather than takeaway.Finally, we bring proceedings to a close by finding out Germany’s safest cities, and which are your hosts favourite cities in Germany.