Decades From Home - A Podcast About Germany

For good or for ill, Germany has reputation for steely seriousness, but if we’ve learned anything living here for as long as we have, it’s that reputation means nothing. Honestly, how serious can any country be if they don’t even make escaping from prison illegal? Luckily, Simon’s on hand to explain why jailbreaks are only human.A few weeks ago we learned of attempts to bring Volksdöner back to Germany in the form of a €3.99 kebap, but apparently some didn’t get the memo. A “24 carat gold “Dubai Döner” has gone on sale, much to our disgust. We discuss why putting gold in food is a terrible idea, and wonder if kebaps are bigger and better if you eat in rather than takeaway.Finally, we bring proceedings to a close by finding out Germany’s safest cities, and which are your hosts favourite cities in Germany.A few weeks ago we learned of attempts to bring a truly Volksdöner back to Germany in the form of a €3.99 kebap, but apparently some didn’t get the memo. A “24 carat gold “Dubai Döner” has gone on sale, much to our disgust. We discuss why putting gold in food is a terrible idea, and wonder if kebaps are bigger and better if you eat in rather than takeaway.Finally, we bring proceedings to a close by finding out Germany’s safest cities, and which are your hosts favourite cities in Germany.

It might feel like stating the obvious, but it’s been fairly warm this week in Germany, which means a little more of the weird and wonderful than usual. In this case, the wonderful came in the form of a Dorffest, and the weird was large amounts of Greek condiments on offer, much to Simon’s annoyance. The primo weather wasn’t just great for dorffests, it was also Christopher Street Day. With pride events happening across the country, it seemed an odd time for Bundestag President Julia Klöckner to decide not to allow a Rainbow flag to fly atop the Reichstag. Was the decision all about political neutrality as Klöckner claims or for other more performative reasons?We finish off proceedings with some tattoos, not on us, but on the Bayern Munich team mates of English footballer Georgia Stanway who volunteered themselves to be the canvas for Stanway before she heads off to Euro 2025 in Switzerland. We talk about tattoo choices, and the kick-off of a summer of football.Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

This is usually a podcast about Germany, but after a trip to Strasbourg, Nic’s a hare’s breadth from trying to turn this podcast all French with his general love of one of Europe’s most delightful destinations. Was it the architecture, the boulangeries, or the sexy gargoyles? Whatever it was, we find out.While Nic was out of town, Simon found himself enjoying more German pursuits, or at least more German TV in the form of the Rosins Restaurants, a Kitchen Nightmares inspired look at some of the more terrible places to eat across the country.We finish things off with some flora and fauna, well, more fauna as a story about moose hiding in the forests of New Zealand leads us to wonder whether Germany has any hidden beasts lurking out there.Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Known for his formidable producing powers, the aptly named Producer Simon is also something of a travel expert, or at least he’s gone on holiday a lot recently. It does mean he has some interesting stories to tell though, especially what it was like travelling through Europe in an electric car.We can’t all save the world like Producer Simon, but we can answer listener questions, or at least Nic & Simon can at least. Last week it was “Mahlzeit” this week it’s “Feierabend” as we try to explain one of the best words in the German language.To finish things off, we discuss why berets and the Bundestag don’t mix well, and ponder whether “ACAB” or “Eat the Rich” are serious statements to make in the seat of German government.Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

In order to ensure our darling Producer Simon made it on his holiday, we recorded a number of episodes back to back, but we may have forgottten when they needed to be released…perhaps this is why we begin this week by celebrating co-host Simon’s beloved Spurs winning the Europa League a month ago…how can we complain though, Simon is so bloody happy, and isn’t that worth an opening segment?Moving on from football success and surprise German spurs fans, Nic and Simon tackle a listener question on the topic of the tricky German word “Mahlzeit!”, which is frequently uttered in the corridors of companies across the country as lunchtime approaches. We discuss the right way to celebrate mealtimes in Germany, as well as regional ways to say hello.Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

This is a podcast about Germany, so you might assume some of that fabled Germanic organisation might have rubbed off on us. Well…sort of, but all the organisation in the world can’t prevent the confusion over Producer Simons recording schedule.A little uncertainty isn’t the worst way to get the podcast started, but what does seem to be a sure fire hit are the prices at an exciting new Dönerladen in Bochum. Sure, the Döner might be €3.99, but what is the real cost of this supposed “Volksdöner”?We finish things off this week by questioning the general honesty of ourselves, Germans, and pretty much anyone who’s ever decided to buy some ancient marble while on holiday in Greece. Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Having missed Eurovision last week, Simon brings in a special guest reporter to remedy that situation as we discuss politics, Pride flags, and Celine Dion, while learning some new vocabulary to boot. Sadly, we can’t enjoy the bright lights of Euro pop’s annual extravaganza for the whole show, apparently we need to do some work…Yes, you heard right, work. That’s the key message, not of this humble podcast, but freshly minted (give or take a week or two) Chancellor of Germany Friedrich Merz. He reckons all we need to bring back the good times in Deutschland is a little elbow grease, but is that really the only option?With work on our minds, we also take a moment to celebrate an important milestone as the Fraunequota reaches its 10th anniversary. Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

No one’s entirely sure how, but Producer Simon has managed to wrangle himself a holiday. Though he’d hoped for sunnier climes, the discovery that he could spend a week in Fürth visiting a Rundfunkmuseum does cause some second thoughts. While Producer considers his options, Nic & Simon concern themselves with a mysterious wooden phallus that appeared outside a local business in Munich. Who carved the giant wooden penis, and why does it look like a similar one that appeared and suddenly disappeared in Schwabmünchen?We may never solve that particular mystery, but perhaps we might be able to explain a recent survey suggesting Germans have fallen out of love with their beloved Spargel? Is Asparagus going out of fashion, and why is this clearly the fault of Gen Z?Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Of all the things Simon could have hoped to find on his morning walk to the local Bäckerei, terrifying omens of impending doom would be low on the list. Of course, that’s not how these things work, and anyway, Bavarians love a little superstition. What does the future hold for Simon? Nic and Simon try to figure it out. Someone who's clearly having better luck than us is England’s rose Harry Kane, who celebrated winning the Bundesliga with Bayern Munich at the second attempt. We celebrate Kane’s success, discuss the best jokes to end a career on, and take some time to enjoy saying “Torjägerkanone”.Sticking with Munich, we look at reports it may be the most unfriendly city in Germany…for expats, and we finish with the anniversary of the Deutschlandticket.Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß

Nothing can stop this podcast, aside from a few technical glitches, and maybe some seriously surprising weather conditions. All it takes is one hot day in Germany, and your British hosts quickly wilt. Regardless, no matter how warm it gets, Nic won’t be following Simon’s corduroy shorts recommendation.The sudden warm weather does remind us that summer will soon be here, as does the end of the football season, but not before Simon explains the curious story behind the name of VfL Bochum. Having tracked the twists and turns of German politics from February’s election, the shocking results, the weeks of coalition negotiations, through to this week’s final confirmation vote for the new Chancellor Friedrich Merz, you might think things were finally getting back to normal…of course, you’d be totally wrong.Theme tune courtesy of Kloß mit Soß