The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

We come to this podcast…for magic. We come to Bald to chortle, to weep, to soil ourselves, to hear about Demi Moore's commanding yet disgusting performance in The Substance. Because we need that, all of us, that indescribable feeling we get when the theme music begins to fade, Trixie and Katya's angelic voices materialize, and we are transported to an enchanting place we've never been before; like an inane story about exercising with butt plugs or a trip to Costco to buy forty-eight razors and 7lbs of strawberries. Not just entertained, but somehow reborn, together, spewed from the collective birth canal, covered in amniotic fluid and writhing on the floor like a hairless, newborn gargoyle. We come for the sparkling sounds, words of both surprising wisdom and transcendent stupidity, delivered straight to our auricular orifices like Satan's DoorDash. Sounds that you can feel deep within your vulva. Somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place likе this. These forty-five minutes feel like thе best part of our week, and the stories about hot dog launchers and necrophilia feel perfect and powerful. Because here, they are. The Bald and the Beautiful. We sit in chairs and talk. We call it a podcast. The dolls are the dolls.Get your gut going and support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Happy squatting!Make your fall finances a little greener by working towards your financial goals with Chime! Open your account in 2 minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!This holiday season, gift yourself some peace of mind! If you’re 21+, check out https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use code BALD to receive 15% off! After you purchase they ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them we sent you. This holiday season, enhance your everyday with VIIA!To get Mint Mobile's new customer offer and your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to https://MintMobile.com/BALDFollow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After nine guests and eleven episodes' worth of meandering stories about historical colon blockages, mermaid genitalia, and cosmic boreworms, prepare your grey matter for even more meandering stories about dental care imposters, chastity device technology, and acceptable dildo quantities, but this time delivered by the one, the only: Trixie mother-effing Mattel. From all of us here at Bald, LLC, especially Cheryl from Accounts Receivable, we want to say welcome the f*ck back, Trixie.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!Start all of your holiday shopping at https://Rakuten.com or download the Rakuten app to start saving today! Your Cash Back really adds up!Do you want your leather handbag to last forever? Head to https://MyCuire.com to get your leather care kit today!Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's the 4th day of your all-gay Atlantis Cruise. You just left the Bahamas and the bed of a sexy Nassau scuba instructor. You're tired. You're hungover. Your stomach is full of rum, waffles, and passionfruit-flavored lube. The hot Caribbean sun is baking your pale-ass to a crisp. Do you know what you need? You need to go directly to your cabin, drink a bottle of Pedialyte, and take a 4-hour nap. But do you listen to me? Of course not. What do you do instead? You attend Joel Kim Booster's twenty-minute stand-up set about being a hot gay man having sex with other hot gay men, and heckle the hell out of him whilst spilling a bottomless mimosa all over your brand-new pink floral swim trunks.To get Mint Mobile's new customer offer and your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to https://MintMobile.com/BALD today!You owe yourself a trip and trips are always better with Airbnb. If you want more space, more privacy, a better location, and the most loved homes, check out https://Airbnb.com or download the Airbnb app!Do you want your leather handbag to last forever? Head to https://MyCuire.com to get your leather care kit today!Follow Joel Kim Booster: @IHateJoelKimFollow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Since the debut of The Bald and the Beautiful in October of 2020, Katya Zamolodchikova has tickled your ears with full-throated recommendations of tens of hundreds of films; many of which are great, most of which are not. As we approach the zenith of the Halloween season, be prepared for Joel Kim Booster to be utterly at odds with Katya's positively shining endorsement of Terrifier 3, with Miss Zamolodchikova describing it as what would happen if Ingmar Bergman decapitated Stanley Kubrick while simultaneously stabbing Wong Kar-wai with Jean-Luc Godard's sharpened femur.Want to try the #1 meal kit for eating well? Go to https://GreenChef.com/BALD50 and use code BALD50 for 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next two months!This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!If you’re 21+, check out VIIA. Head to https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use the code BALD to receive 15% off. This fall, enhance your everyday with VIIA!Need a website? Check Out https://SquareSpace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.SquareSpace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!Take more control of your finances and stop waiting for payday! Open your account in minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.Follow Joel Kim Booster: @IHateJoelKimFollow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get ready for a wild ride as dreams and drag collide! A bizarre dream featuring Madonna sets the stage for a whimsical chat about nicknames and dream interpretation. The duo humorously navigates financial woes while reflecting on their memorable performances and the spontaneity of live shows. Delve into the global impact of drag competitions, intimate anecdotes from the Drag Race phenomenon, and the joys of friendship in the community. Plus, brace yourself for laughs as they discuss the ups and downs of adult braces and the allure of TikTok.

Sapphira Cristál, a drag star known for her creative culinary skills, joins the witty Katya for a lively discussion. They dish on hilarious dating stories and the intricacies of attraction with younger partners. Their conversation dives into balancing authenticity with performance in drag, alongside playful anecdotes about ‘makeup sex’ and poignant moments from reality TV. Listeners can expect laughter, personal growth insights, and a unique blend of humor and heart as they explore love, intimacy, and the art of drag.

Sapphira Cristál, a fabulous drag queen with a glorious mane, joins Katya, the fit and folically-challenged star, for a hilarious dive into mermaid erotica and the wild world of drag. They discuss the intersection of identity and cultural icons while sharing tales from the chaotic backstage of drag shows. With playful humor, they critique beauty standards and reflect on the tight-knit drag community, touching on both its joyful moments and challenges. Get ready for laughter, personal anecdotes, and a celebration of self-love!

This week, the Loch Ness Monster of drag herself, Raja, visits the studio to discuss love, yoga, and wistful nostalgia for physical media porn. Many questions are posed and even fewer are answered. Does Raja exist? Do you exist? Is free will available to humanity in our desperate search for some semblance of personal and/or societal development? Or is it all an illusion, a minute portion of the complex ruse through which we spend every waking moment of our lives? I ask you this one question: does anyone really, truly exist? Probably not. But put that crisis aside for a moment and listen to this episode, because it's charming and entertaining and it will make you forget about the ceaseless march towards your inevitable demise for about an hour, and that's something.Go to https://GreenChef.com/BALDCLASS for 50% off your first box + 50 FREE Credits with ClassPass! Green Chef. The #1 meal kit for eating well!Need a website? Check out https://Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!Follow Raja: @sutanamrullFollow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's 1am as you stare at the crack in the ceiling. The wind rustles through the oak tree outside as you hear Jim next door drag his garbage can down the driveway. Pam's staying at her sister's because of her divorce, the kids get up at 6, and Katherine demanded chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream and sprinkles. You have to catch the train at 7, and on top of that the big meeting is at 9am sharp and the Jenkins file isn't even done yet! How are you supposed to fall asleep when making your way in the world today takes everything you've got? The answer? Jinkx Monsoon's patented 4-step program: "Takin' a Break From All Your Worries Sure Would Help A Lot." In just four easy steps, your mind will be whisper quiet and you'll be counting sheep in no time. Step 1: turn on your television set. Step 2: Find your local programming guide to locate syndicated airings of Cheers. Step 3: Watch Sam, Diane, Coach, Norm, Cliff, Carla, Woody, Frasier, Lillith, & Rebecca navigate life's roller-coaster of joy and pain in the titular bar and escape from the doldrums of the rat race with a live studio audience and light alcoholism. Step 4: Fall Asleep and get enough shuteye to slay the ever-loving shit out of that Jenkins file.Climb back on that porcelain throne, and make us proud! Feel the difference, daily with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Happy Squatting!Take more control of your finances and stop waiting for payday! Open your account in minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress.FX’s English Teacher is Now Streaming on Hulu! All-New Mondays on FX! And keep an eye out for a special appearance by none other than Trixie Mattel!!! https://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/english-teacherStop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today!Follow Jinkx: @TheJinkxFollow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Courtney Act, a vibrant fashion icon known for her distinct style, joins humorist Katya for a wild fashion journey. They challenge outdated trends, suggesting an eccentric mix of Crocodile Dundee vibes and rhinestone jorts. Their chat takes a deeper turn with humorous anecdotes about identity and resilience in the LGBTQ+ community. They also explore self-care practices, critique modern hotel key systems, and share hilariously weird tales of personal quirks. Get ready for laughter and unexpected fashion tips that shimmer!