A dusting of snow gently kisses the needles of a vividly green six-foot balsam fir, all alone in a small forest meadow. Nothing captures nature's majesty quite like a pine-scented solstice soldier, standing guard against the cold; a stark contrast against the pallid December sky. The time has finally come. The season of Krampus is officially upon us. Lock your windows, bolt your doors, and gird your loins for the long, dark, bone-chilling embrace of winter.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try and save 10% off your first month at https://www.BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!Start your holiday shopping at Etsy.com and use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase! For gifts of all kinds, Etsy has it! Shop https://www.Etsy.comGo to https://www.mindbloom.com/podcast/bald and use promo code BALD for $100 off your first six session program today!For everything cozy this holiday season, go to https://www.TommyJohn.com/BALD for 20% off your first order!Before you start your holiday shopping, visit https://www.Rakuten.com or download the app to earn cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. You can start saving today!Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Looking for a last minute gift? Go to https://establishedtitles.com/BALD and order a digital title pack certificate to print today! They are running a massive Holiday Sale, plus 10% off on any purchase with code BALD. Thanks to Established Titles for sponsoring this video!With a richly tapestried history spanning nearly two millennia, London is the jewel of the Thames with its cobblestone streets, priceless museums, and trendy boutiques. As the official seat of the once-powerful British Empire, it is virtually impossible to capture the essence of London in anything short of a multi-hour treatise on the massive cultural, political and financial impact this European metropolis has had on the world. Instead, let us focus on the air-conditioning capabilities of this historic municipality, which is eminently more fascinating than all of that other historical and sociopolitical crap.Get 33% Off Everything, Plus Free Shipping at https://www.tommyjohn.com/BALDTo get 20% off your first order at MeUndies, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to: https://www.MeUndies.com/BALDThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp Therapy Online! Learn more and save 10% off your first month at: https://www.BetterHelp.com/BALDStart your credit journey with Chime! Sign up takes only two minutes and doesn’t affect your credit score. Get started at Chime.com/BALDFollow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As the sun fades and day turns to dusk in Paris, the beautiful Champs-Élysées becomes a twinkling thoroughfare filled with the comings and goings of sharply-dressed Parisians, bustling to and fro beneath the majestic Arc de Triomphe. In a small, nameless cafe, Trixie and her family open a fourth bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape as they laugh and smile over a table filled with escargots de bourgogne, couilles de mouton, and tarte tatin. As the warmth and fellowship from this intimate Thanksgiving gathering travels through the cafe doors to the chilly street outside, the scene cuts to America: the barren hills of Hollywood bake under the Southern Californian sun; a house sits alone against a hillside littered with the detritus from citrus trees and forsaken souls. Inside, the critically-acclaimed HBO miniseries Chernobyl is on the television while a Stouffer's Meat Lovers Lasagna bakes in the chef-caliber Miele oven. A Mexican Coca-Cola sits on the coffee table as its consumer, Katya, scrolls aimlessly through videos of Turkey-Fryer fires on Tik Tok set to pop music refrains from Dua Lipa. Never in the history of the world has there been such a stark dichotomy of holiday celebrations than between Paris and Los Angeles. Alas, such is this post-modern life.From everyone here at BALD, LLC, we wish you filthy troglodytes the happiest of Thanksgivings.For a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D & 5 FREE AG1 travel packs with your first purchase, visit https://www.AthleticGreens.com/TBATBNew to Etsy? Use code MERRY10 at checkout for 10% off your first purchase at https://www.etsy.com! Maximum value of $50. Offer ends Dec. 31, 2022.Sign up for Firstleaf Wine Club today and you’ll get your first 6 bottles for $39.95 plus free shipping! Go to https://www.TryFirstleaf.com/BALDAs you start your holiday shopping, visit https://www.rakuten.com or download the Rakuten app to earn cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. You can start saving today!Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The effervescent, enchanting, & ever-so-ebullient Natasha Leggero stops by the house to chat about her new book, "The World Deserves My Children". She and Katya have a sparkling conversation about such disparate topics as pediatric caviar, mid-life-crisis-techno-DJs, and brainless gutter people having relations with robots in a post-apocalypse hellscape.Natasha's new book "The World Deserves My Children" comes out today, November 15th! Go to: https://bit.ly/NatashaLeggeroBookCancel unnecessary subscriptions with Rocket Money today! Go to https://www.RocketMoney.com/BALDListen to the podcast: “Baby, This is Keke Palmer” Exclusively on Amazon Music! Download the Amazon Music App Now!Fill out a brief questionnaire to match with a licensed therapist today! Learn more and save 10% off your first month at https://www.BetterHelp.com/BALDGet a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.Stamps.com/BALD Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring today's episode!Visit https://www.RAKUTEN.com or download the app to earn cash back when you shop at thousands of stores. You can start saving today!Follow Natasha: @NatashaLeggeroFollow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Behold, Tik Tok judgement day is nigh! As the soiled masses scroll through prosaic videos of cats, choreography, and cleaning materials, do not pretend you are free from fear. When the end comes, it shall arrive with righteous wrath and fierce anger, darkening the sun, cloaking the moon, and causing the stars to fall from heaven. Tik Tok shall pass judgement upon you and all whom you know, causing the desolation of the land and crushing all social media sinners to dust. We have spoken! Let it be done.To check out LoveHoney and spice up your life, go to: https://lovehoney.co/BaldCheck out the new season of American Horror Story, AHS:NYC, watch it on Fox and stream on Hulu!Listen to the new podcast: “Baby, This is Keke Palmer” Exclusively on Amazon Music! Download the Amazon Music App Now!When you’re ready to launch a new website, go to Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Start your credit journey with Chime. Sign up takes only two minutes and doesn’t affect your credit score. Get started at Chime.com/BALDThis episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. To find a licensed therapist near you, go to: www.Betterhelp.com/BALDVisit Rakuten.com or download the app to earn cash back when you shop at thousands of stores, you can start saving today!Check out Wondery's "This is Keke Palmer" new podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The fog has settled in, surrounding the dark soulless condo nestled amongst the broken dreams and shattered souls of Hollywood. High above the urine-stained street, a lamp flickers dimly in a window. Faint shadows on the walls can be seen from below, giving only a tiny glimpse into the horrible monstrosities that dance within. Two hairless, beady-eyed incubi sit opposite each other, their bony claw-like hands holding microphones as they laugh and jest and mock humanity between ads for underwear and sex toys. The full moon breaks through the clouds as dusk finally arrives, causing the two vile creatures to transform into wigged, makeup-caked women, concealing their true demonic forms and allowing them to unleash a symphony of murder, mayhem, and dismemberment upon the fine citizens of Tinseltown. Lock your windows, bolt your doors, and draw the shades, because this Bald Halloween shall end in bloodshed...Check out the new season of American Horror Story; AHS:NYC on FX and streaming on Hulu!Cancel unnecessary subscriptions now with RocketMoney! Go to: https://www.Rocketmoney.com/BALDRight now, Mindbloom is offering our listeners $100 off your first six session program when you sign up at https://Mindbloom.com/BALD and use promo code BALD at checkout.Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After two years of wearing easy cheese-stained sweatpants and that vintage Cher 'Do You Believe?' tour t-shirt, it's time to re-visit your closet and break out those accessories. While dainty chains, layered strands, and zodiac trinkets have been en vogue this past summer, it's time to step out into the crisp, fall air with some bold bijoux that tells everyone around you, "I'm a Winner." Made from only the most affordable raw copper on the market, the "Winner" necklace is the must-have accessory as you sip your pumpkin spice latte and pleasure yourself in the park to the fiery foliage this autumn. While your parents, family, and teachers may have never said it, we here at Bald, LLC want you to know that in our humble opinion, you're the epitome of a winner.Download Karma Now: https://lpkarmanow.onelink.me/nSgX/TrixieandKatyaytWatch the full Karma Now commercial: https://lpkarmanow.onelink.me/nSgX/TrixieandKatyawatchCancel unnecessary subscriptions now with RocketMoney! Go to: www.Rocketmoney.com/BALDDesign like a pro with Canva Pro! To check out Canva, go to: Canva.me/BALDThis episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. To find a licensed therapist near you, go to: www.Betterhelp.com/BALDWhen you’re ready to launch a new website, go to Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Check out the new season of American Horror Story, AHS:NYC, premiering on FX on October 19th! Stream on Hulu!Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com @karma_shopnow #shopwithkarma #sponsored Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Grab a piping hot mug of Tim Hortons, turn on the NHL, hide your Royal Canadian Mounted Police porn VHS, pour a shot of pure Canadian maple syrup, and bury your fat face in a pile of steaming poutine. The dolls have invaded the great white north for a live show at the Just For Laughs Festival in beautiful Toronto. Join us as we both marvel at their universal healthcare and mock them for their smorgasbord of crazy accents.A special thank you to Duncan and all the staff & crew at Just For Laughs Toronto and the beautiful Meridian Hall!Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We here at Bald Headquarters would like to use this week's episode to introduce our listeners to the mostly-unknown art form of comic books, the even more obscure phenomenon of superheroes, and the finer points of the opening of the rectum on the body's surface, colloquially known as "the anus". And while you're listening, please enjoy a wonderfully-refreshing early-Fall beverage recipe from our Myspace page: "Katya's Eat the Poor Limeade." A spoonful of sugar and a dash of love is all it takes to wash away the thoughts of the filthy proletariat. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This sexy little minx was like nothing I'd ever seen before. Her legs, of which there were six, went on for days. The jelly in her prothorax, mesothorax, and metathorax jiggled like a jar of freshly opened blackberry jam. There were so many segments in her abdomen that I couldn't decide which one to focus on as I salivated at the sight. I was lost in the ocean of her compound eyes, sitting just below her antennae that were themselves doing an age-old dance of seduction as she waddled across my floor. This little mama had the quick moves and the wings of an angel and she knew it.To check out Lovehoney, go to: http://lovehoney.co/BaldFollow Trixie: @TrixieMattelFollow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices